Why are people so mean?!
Replies
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Correcting bad advice is not the same as being mean.
Not validating someone's bad idea (e.g. eating 500 calories) is not being mean.
Someone who disagrees with you is not "mean".
The "mean" posters are the ones who've lost weight, know how to strength train properly, and give good, to-the-point answers to people. They correct misinformation and try to prevent people from screwing up, plateauing, and then quitting. That's called HELPING. Being supportive doesn't mean we have to support bad advice and bad ideas. Part of being supportive means correcting errors and guiding along the way.
I'd rather have the "mean" people answer one of my questions than some noob with three posts who's addicted to Dr. Oz and gets their weight loss tips from "Good Housekeeping" and internet ads.
i hope to be "mean" one day...
Me too.
I can't wait to look like some of the "mean" people on this site. 0 -
I
mean, snarky people. They've given me some awesome advice. Keep it up Meanies.
Fetish:blushing:0 -
Because they are unhappy. Period.
They're unhappy because people keep spreading bad advice and then shriek that the posters who know what they're doing are being "mean" when they correct them or don't give them the advice they wanted to hear. It's exhausting, and it happens all day every day.0 -
Some of the snarkiest people on MFP are the smartest. I have gleaned some amazing information about losing fat and lifting weights from smart a$$e$. I don't take things to heart - I listen to learn. I don't always have great days - but I am not a whiner. I don't want to read any more threads about people who just "can't do it anymore", who "need motivation", who get advice but continue to do what they want to do and then 3 weeks later they're back whining that things aren't working. I am tired of hearing from people who want something to be a quick fix and are only looking for someone to pat them on the back and tell them they will be at goal weight in 2 months.
The forum is the playground of MFP. Pick your friends. Ignore the people who you feel are bullies. Don't come on the playground if you can't stand getting honesty. Listen and learn.
/thread
Spot. On.0 -
Now, if there really were mean people here, you'd see them snarking in the success stories forum, too, but no one does that (if they have, I haven't seen it, and I read most of those). Everyone there is universally supportive.
It's not being mean to disagree with someone. Plus there are a lot of people who frequent the forums and have a good time with each other, and some of that horseplay may sound mean, but I don't think it's meant to be. You can usually tell by looking at their previous posts and seeing how they interact with others.
I've reported a couple of posts that were racist or otherwise ugly. Otherwise, I let the person be, and if I don't like reading their posts, I put them on ignore (I have a whole 3 people on THAT list).0 -
Again, I am not talking about ME. I am not basing this off of comments made to ME. I've been quoted a few times on here now from other forums. The assumption has been made a few times now that I made this thread bc of my other threads today. Nobody was even "mean" to me on those. You're trying to call me out as being wrong on my comments, even though I made sure to note that "everybody is different". I made this tread because of the people that are cursing at each other and calling each other names. It's uncalled for and quoting me from previous posts today proves nothing. I didn't make this thread about me or things that have happened to me.0
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I totally agree with you, but that is the nature of the beast.
Sometimes people just can't see beyond there own needs and (even trying to be constructive) the comments can get really mean.
I'm sure that all of us using this site, have at one time at least, felt insecure and stupid for having the questions we have regarding health and fitness, so if you are one of those lucky few that have reached your goal, dont make others feel stupid because they aren't there yet.
Let me quote one of Disney's best movies...Bambi "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."0 -
I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.
I never knew this existed!! Guess im going to be ignoring a sh**t load of users! ha!0 -
PS- A lot of people in this forum have lost tons of weight... pretty awesome! I'm amazed by some of these numbers!0
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Also. Most people who are unhappy with themselves, are mean. Aaaand this site has many of those.
i think this is it right here. quite simple. for that reason, i let it roll off my back. not my problem.
never knew there was an ignore button but that's good to know.0 -
Lindsay, I agree with you totally and I also agree that some responders are missing your point. I didn't think you we're asking people to not share their opinions or advice, but just present it in a polite, supportive way. But I also agree that unfortunately our society is basically going down the Manners Tubes!! But I've always felt that you can get what you want with kindness just as easily, if not easier than with rudeness. My philosophy is that I cannot change others but I can change myself and I try my best to treat others like I would like to be treated. Maybe someone, sometime will get the hint. If not, there is always the ignore button! Lol! Which I also did not know existed!! And maybe the people I end up ignoring are going to miss out on being treated kindly by me today!! Just a thought!!0
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Again, I am not talking about ME. I am not basing this off of comments made to ME. I've been quoted a few times on here now from other forums. The assumption has been made a few times now that I made this thread bc of my other threads today. Nobody was even "mean" to me on those. You're trying to call me out as being wrong on my comments, even though I made sure to note that "everybody is different". I made this tread because of the people that are cursing at each other and calling each other names. It's uncalled for and quoting me from previous posts today proves nothing. I didn't make this thread about me or things that have happened to me.
<<<<<<<<<<
If there is actual name-calling and cursing, I've not seen it very often, and I've made a couple posts here.. This is the tamest forum I've ever been in....0 -
Again, I am not talking about ME. I am not basing this off of comments made to ME. I've been quoted a few times on here now from other forums. The assumption has been made a few times now that I made this thread bc of my other threads today. Nobody was even "mean" to me on those. You're trying to call me out as being wrong on my comments, even though I made sure to note that "everybody is different". I made this tread because of the people that are cursing at each other and calling each other names. It's uncalled for and quoting me from previous posts today proves nothing. I didn't make this thread about me or things that have happened to me.
Then you should have reported those people for violating the forum rules. Starting a thread like this literally did nothing to help the problem.0 -
Thank you for the nightmare fuel.
*cowers*
On topic- People are mean because... people are all kinds of things. Sometimes they're having a bad day and dumb things set them off and they come across all jerkish. Best to just move on.0 -
I have known a few people, women in particular in this case, that call themselve "*****es". They always go on and on about how they always get what they want. I just laugh to realize all they ever really get is the minimum someone is willing to give to get the hell away from them.
And sometimes even LESS! I know someone like this who is super rude to waitstaff. Very superior in her tone when speaking to them and generally treating them like they are below her. Really?!? Piss off the people handling your food? That is a special kind of stupid.0 -
This week George Takei said something to this effect.
Let us not lose our good humor in the quest for political sensitivity....We mustn't descend to the lowest common denominator of butthurt
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Because in real life they would never have the guts. Lol, that or maybe some are just food deprived and grouchy
haha I kid. 0 -
[This is the tamest forum I've ever been in....
I'd have to agree with you!0 -
I agree, this should be a safe place to look for encouragement , I know for me there is enough negativity out there , we need to support one another with out the negativity, I hope you have a wonderful day0
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I just keep wondering why people don't take advantage of the ignore button. If you don't like the way someone responds to posts, just hit that little triangle next to their username, select "ignore" and POOF, no more posts by that person. Easy, and no need for whiny "everyone is so mean to me" posts.
Thank you for teaching me something new today. I had no idea that there was an ignore button. Someone attacked me recently on one of my posts; and I went to the tech area asking for the whole post to be removed, rather than let that person hurt anyone else with their rude remarks. I didn't want to delete the post, but I thought that was all I could do.
I started using that ignore feature on this post. What a relief it is to just 'click ignore' for those folks who insist on using crude language and thoughtless remarks to show off online. I feel better already.0 -
It's the internet. When we read what people type, it is just words and it is really in the eye of the beholder. We can't see the emotion that behind the message, it could be sarcasm coming from the other end, but read as being mean by others. That's the problem with the internet.0
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[This is the tamest forum I've ever been in....
I'd have to agree with you!
I also agree.0 -
People are mean because Americans have been brainwashed by the media for the last 50 years to believe that if you're mean, you're strong and will endure. Not true you silly Americans. Your patriotism lacks humanity.
Shut up you limey *kitten*! We kicked your *kitten* in dubya-dubya two, and we'll kick it again whenever we want!
'murica!
Errr....we were on the same side in that war. I think you mean the American Revolution...0 -
People are mean because Americans have been brainwashed by the media for the last 50 years to believe that if you're mean, you're strong and will endure. Not true you silly Americans. Your patriotism lacks humanity.
Shut up you limey *kitten*! We kicked your *kitten* in dubya-dubya two, and we'll kick it again whenever we want!
'murica!
Errr....we were on the same side in that war. I think you mean the American Revolution...
The limey started it....
Don't shoot me, I'm Switzerland.0 -
Time to hit the ol' dusty trail. No hurt feelings. No need to run off of MFP and never look back! No need to be sore about it. I just stated my opinion and got a lot of feed back, some positive and some negative. Some people understood where I was coming from and some people put words in my mouth and twisted around my statement. It is what it is and I'm sure that is how it will always be. I almost felt like I was watching the presidential election news feed on my FaceBook all over again! Whoa, that was a scary time back in Nov! Opinions were loud and clear back then (I100% stayed out of the FB debates!! No thank you!!) as they were today. Those of you that tried to blast me, it's ok! Those of you that supported me, thank you :flowerforyou: I just know that each person's journey is different. We all face different struggles. For now, I am on my way to battle mine at the gym 0
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Correcting bad advice is not the same as being mean.
Not validating someone's bad idea (e.g. eating 500 calories) is not being mean.
Someone who disagrees with you is not "mean".
The "mean" posters are the ones who've lost weight, know how to strength train properly, and give good, to-the-point answers to people. They correct misinformation and try to prevent people from screwing up, plateauing, and then quitting. That's called HELPING. Being supportive doesn't mean we have to support bad advice and bad ideas. Part of being supportive means correcting errors and guiding along the way.
I'd rather have the "mean" people answer one of my questions than some noob with three posts who's addicted to Dr. Oz and gets their weight loss tips from "Good Housekeeping" and internet ads.
QFT0 -
Some people are just mean. I take everything I read on here and other message boards with a grain of salt. Remember at the end of the day, even if somebody does say something mean, to you or anyone else, "it's just the internet!" They don't know you or anything about you, so really, does their opinion hold any weight at all? No, because they will probably never know you in real life.
Have a great day, and keep a positive attitude!0 -
[This is the tamest forum I've ever been in....
I'd have to agree with you!
I also agree.
Yep. If you can't handle the MFP forums, then please never hop on to a gaming forum. Seriously.0 -
[This is the tamest forum I've ever been in....
I'd have to agree with you!
I also agree.
Yep. If you can't handle the MFP forums, then please never hop on to a gaming forum. Seriously.
Or a parenting forum. *shudder*0
This discussion has been closed.
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