Pregnancy weight gain.......some are gaining too much

Holy crap...ninerbuff. At this point in this conversation do I even dare admit I recognize you? :huh:

because i started out overweight when i got pregnant, im actually losing weight. im 12 weeks now and 7 lbs lighter than before i got preg. this is quite normal according to my dr. because your metabolism is in overdrive creating a new life;) especially good for a pcoser like me, who is used to a very sluggish metabolism.

I've always been curious to know why it's okay to fat bash obese women, expect them to be size 2s, yet if their spouses are obese slobs, nobody gives them a second look or even comments about THEIR obesity?

Because fat men are funny? Somehow more protective? Little "Santa Clauses" in disguise?

obese women = gross, horrible, icky, eww, avert the eyes!

obese men = charming, funny, lovable, fun to be with!

Thoughts?

I've asked him repeatedly if he thinks pregnant women are just undereducated and actually think they can eat 4k calories and gain "normal" amounts of weight or if maybe some women let loose for other reasons -- like having an excuse to not acquiesces to societal pressure to be thin/watch what they eat etc. I also find it odd that he didn't consider women who gain a lot of weight were experiencing an medical problem that caused it, especially since he claims his wife had a difficult pregnancy. I wonder how he would have felt if some person that didn't know her situation would have determined that she was just lazy.

Let's not over exaggerate......you asked once before this post, so now this is twice.
Could it be under education? If they are new mothers, that's possible. The US doesn't have free health care (it should but that's another thread) and I'm sure that there are lots of expectant mothers who may not be getting the information or attention they need for their personal pregnancy. I'm also sure that there are many that think that it's fine to gain a lot of weight. I'm also sure that emotionally, some may suffer from depression which may lead to over eating.
Do medical issues occur that will cause excess weight gain? Sure. Just found information that 2 out of 3 women of reproductive age (15-44) are overweight and 1 out of 4 are obese. Now this is based on BMI (which I'm not a big fan of). Kinda of alarming numbers if you think about it.

http://www.marchofdimes.com/pregnancy/complications_obesity.html


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Actually, it's more like 4, but ok!

While I would never advocate that the US's take on medical care is by any means adequate overall (because it's not), Medicaid actually covers most all pregnant women, regardless of income because they are deemed "medically needy" ; even if they surpass the financial limits for regular Medicaid -- it's called expanded eligibility, my friend. Check it out: http://americanpregnancy.org/planningandpreparing/medicaid.html

Sure some women might not know exactly how many more calories per day to when she's pregnant - but most are aware that it's not actually 2,000 additional calories. I would guess that some women are overeating because they feel free to for the first time in their lives to do so. If anyone questions it, they can just say "The baby wants it!". I would guess others over eat because they are VERY hungry. I highly doubt most think to themselves "Oh, I've only eaten 2,200 calories today -- I should eat 1,800 more of my baby won't get enough nutrition!" These two reasons are why you are getting jumped all over.

As a man, you do not face the same pressure to be thin and beautiful that women do. You do not know the relief that some women feel when they get pregnant. For some it translates into fear/anger -- you've seen that here, some women don't want to gain more than x number or pounds or want their hard work to be "undone" by a child. For others, the reaction is "thank god, society expects pregnant women to be fat, so I can let loose!". As somebody who has never been pregnant, you do not understand the how it feels, psychologically, to lose control of your body. Does this men can NEVER talk about pregnancy/give advise? No. But it does mean they need to carefully avoid using words like "should/shouldn't" and make sure they aren't confusing "ideal" pregnancy numbers with "healthy". They also need to make sure they aren't making really unfortunate, easily disputed assumptions -- like in a country where a significant portion of the population is overweight, that the majority of pregnant women started from a healthy weight.

You also might want to avoid taking about your pregnant wife nagging you when you go on to say she had a pregnancy filled with complications and medical procedures like cervical curettage. More than anything that makes you look foolish and betrays that you really have no empathy.

You also might want to avoid taking about your pregnant wife nagging you when you go on to say she had a pregnancy filled with complications and medical procedures like cervical curettage. More than anything that makes you look foolish and betrays that you really have no empathy.

Hmmm, I guess women look at sarcasm a lot harsher than men do. I'm fully aware of why my wife was speaking the way she was and how disappointed she was about having to stay in bed 20 out of 24 hours a day. She apologized to me later about being so *****y through the whole thing and I told her that no apology was necessary and really did wish that I could have burdened some of the issues she was going through. And if we had to do it all over again for another child and she's game, then so am I.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

How very big of you, OP.

As long as your doctor says that your pregnancy is healthy, why should it matter how much weight a woman gains? It's not like we treat overweight people poorly....

Oh ... I see.

I don't understand why everyone is so riled about someone making a post on this topic. Society has a vested interest in babies being born healthy, and in their mothers being healthy. Many here seem to be taking this really personally. Maybe it's not necessarily OP's business when it comes to individual pregnant women, sure, but really half the forum posts people start here are about things that aren't their business, like what other people are doing at the gym, etc.

Personally I always looked at pregnancy as a time to be extra careful to eat only the most healthy food because I wanted to give my kids the best, healthiest start in life. I didn't touch fast food or added sugar for the whole 9 months. I was able to be back working out 2 days after coming home from the hospital and ran a half marathon 2 months later. It's certainly not for everyone but it's the way I prefer to do it.

Because it didn't occur to him that the women in his doctor's office he was judging had difficult pregnancies/medical issues that cause them to gain more weight than ideal or that they were overweight to begin with? Maybe some saw it as a continuation of society pressure to live up to some arbitrary standard?

Not gaining too much weight isn't the sole factor for a healthy pregnancy. Should women be diligent in taking care of themselves? Yes. Should we judge how "good" of a job they did carrying their children by their weight? No.

It's lovely you chose to handle your pregnancies the way you did. I had severe morning sickness the entire duration of my pregnancy. I gained 13 pounds - most of that came from Arby's turkey sandwiches and ginger ale because that was literally the ONLY things that didn't make me vomit uncontrollably. My baby was a healthy weight. I had the shortest labor you can imagine and was back to normal entirely within a week.

LOTS of things factor into a pregnancy besides food consumption that contribute to weight gain. Lots of things besides weight factor into health.

While it would be nice to get back and run a marathon 2 months after having a baby, not all moms are like that. I have seen women on MFP being given the advice to try and lose weight regardless of their doctor's orders. Some women really are very uneducated on how they should be eating. I am sure the OP is very knowledgeable, but honestly, I face so much pressure every single day being pregnant that I don't really care to hear what he has to say. I am lucky enough that I have kept my weight down and been able to have a healthy pregnancy. But I still get jokes from people along the lines of "Oh you really are eating again?" or "You know eating for two is wrong." and these people don't have the slightest clue of how much I really eat. They see my size and think what they want. It seems like everyone and their mother wants to tell me how to eat, exercise and how often to do these things. Those women may have had gestational diabetes, could have been on bed rest the entire time. No one really knows.

And as supportive as men think they are, they have no freaking clue. If I had a dollar for every time my fiance said "How hard can it really be?" I could retire tomorrow. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park, and for some women, they don't receive the support they need. Maybe a little less judgement would be appreciated.

At the other end of the spectrum, being obese and pregnant can cause serious complications during pregnancy and at birth. I don't think it is ever appropriate to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat like crap 24/7.

While it would be nice to get back and run a marathon 2 months after having a baby, not all moms are like that. I have seen women on MFP being given the advice to try and lose weight regardless of their doctor's orders. Some women really are very uneducated on how they should be eating. I am sure the OP is very knowledgeable, but honestly, I face so much pressure every single day being pregnant that I don't really care to hear what he has to say. I am lucky enough that I have kept my weight down and been able to have a healthy pregnancy. But I still get jokes from people along the lines of "Oh you really are eating again?" or "You know eating for two is wrong." and these people don't have the slightest clue of how much I really eat. They see my size and think what they want. It seems like everyone and their mother wants to tell me how to eat, exercise and how often to do these things. Those women may have had gestational diabetes, could have been on bed rest the entire time. No one really knows.

And as supportive as men think they are, they have no freaking clue. If I had a dollar for every time my fiance said "How hard can it really be?" I could retire tomorrow. Pregnancy isn't a walk in the park, and for some women, they don't receive the support they need. Maybe a little less judgement would be appreciated.

At the other end of the spectrum, being obese and pregnant can cause serious complications during pregnancy and at birth. I don't think it is ever appropriate to use pregnancy as an excuse to eat like crap 24/7.

Agreed!

I don't understand why everyone is so riled about someone making a post on this topic. Society has a vested interest in babies being born healthy, and in their mothers being healthy. Many here seem to be taking this really personally. Maybe it's not necessarily OP's business when it comes to individual pregnant women, sure, but really half the forum posts people start here are about things that aren't their business, like what other people are doing at the gym, etc.

Personally I always looked at pregnancy as a time to be extra careful to eat only the most healthy food because I wanted to give my kids the best, healthiest start in life. I didn't touch fast food or added sugar for the whole 9 months. I was able to be back working out 2 days after coming home from the hospital and ran a half marathon 2 months later. It's certainly not for everyone but it's the way I prefer to do it.

Because even though a woman can do that, eat like that, she can still gain more weight. It really isn't anyone else's business. Oh, and btw, I could do that with my first 2 as well. Bully for you. Doesn't mean anything though. Not all pregnancies are the same.

For example. I haven't really eaten any different for any of my pregnancies. I've never been one to crave sweets so that was never a worry, in fact, my cravings have always been things like salads and orange juice and the like, throw in tacos for good measure. Now, first pregnancy, gain of 18lbs, loss of 20 when she was born. Second, gain of 22lbs, lost it all when she was born. Third, difficult pregnancy with a lot of pain issues which actually resulted in emergency c-section, gain of 40lbs (which I could never figure out how I was gaining that much), lost none when he was born. Fourth, also complications (started as twins, uterine tear, lost one, bedrest and so on) gain of about 25 to 30, again no loss when born. I just ballooned up. It wasn't that I wasn't trying to take care of myself or eat healthy, but the particular pregnancies were just hard on my body. Age also has a lot to do with it. I was much younger with my first two as well.

When someone comes along and makes judgments about how much women gain during pregnancy when they really have no clue the variety of issues each and every woman could be facing, it's just rude. To make this original claim based off a room of pregnant women the OP knows nothing about...I mean...come on.

I disagree that an extra fast recovery from delivery means nothing. I mean yes, recovery times can vary and there are plenty of other factors, but if you maintain a healthier lifestyle you are more likely to have a better recovery. Of course there are exceptions and special cases. All we can do is our best.

I agree that OP knew nothing about the women in that room but it didn't sound like he was judging them individually as much as he wanted to express concern about the growing trend of overweight moms to be in our country. Pregnancy weight gain has certainly risen over the years and it's not as good for the moms or the babies. Maybe he did mean it in a judgy way and I interpreted it wrong. But that's not how it came across to me. As I said I agree that it's no one's business on an individual level but it is a societal trend to be concerned about. And people have been saying things like "everyone knows you're not supposed to have a free for all with your diet while pregnant" but some people really don't know. I've met plenty.

I've always been curious to know why it's okay to fat bash obese women, expect them to be size 2s, yet if their spouses are obese slobs, nobody gives them a second look or even comments about THEIR obesity?

Because fat men are funny? Somehow more protective? Little "Santa Clauses" in disguise?

obese women = gross, horrible, icky, eww, avert the eyes!

obese men = charming, funny, lovable, fun to be with!

Thoughts?

I'm sure many obese men would chime in if they saw this. I can't think of any obese men who are happy with their weight. They may be funny and joke around to deflect how they feel and are then associated with being fun happy charming.
And obese men get as many "ewwwws" and "grosses" as females do. Possible that you don't hear it as much.
I will say though that if an obese male was rich, it would be much easier for him to draw women, than an obese woman trying to draw men.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
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Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

Hold up. Now women can't be overweight especially when carrying an unborn child, nag too much AND are gold diggers. Anything else you would like to add?

You want some qualifications?
Bachelor of psychology, honour in arts major feminist studies
Seven years working with a woman's health centre in domestic violence prevention
Three years in child protection

And as for child protection goes, there is so much more to be concerned about during pregnancy than a woman's weight. Do my job for a while and see babies drug withdrawing or babies with no place to go because mum is in jail. There is a woman currently 26 weeks pregnant and weighs 32kg (approx 75 pound). Give me an overweight, loving mum any day!

The only time ever in my role can I judge weight is when a child is obese. The protocol is you ask the story and then put in ways to help. See that, I ask and then help. Not judge and then get on my high horse and rant online. Fact of the matter is you saw those women at the doctors. Maybe they were concerned about their weight and wanted to discuss it or maybe they had health issues. They were there to see a medical professional not some judgemental trainer in the waiting room. You may work as a trainer attached to a hospital but that doesn't make you a doctor. I work in the same building as a police station and I am not an expert in law enforcement.

I just saw that you wrote this on another thread:
I forget sometimes how lucky I am that I can put my hands on other females bodies and not have them retract in fear. This is all for spotting, massage and stretching of course.

You need some serious help in how to respect women.

Hold up. Now women can't be overweight especially when carrying an unborn child, nag too much AND are gold diggers. Anything else you would like to add?

So I can't generalize, but it's fine if you do?

You want some qualifications?
Bachelor of psychology, honour in arts major feminist studies
Seven years working with a woman's health centre in domestic violence prevention
Three years in child protection

I gonna take a stab at the dark here and say that males are the main perps you're against here. Makes sense now.

A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
IDEA Fitness member
Kickboxing Certified Instructor
Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

When did I generalise?
I work with female perps too but yes the majority are male perps. I get my referrals from police reports, aka facts. So what exactly makes sense you now? That I perhaps am a strong woman who won't put up with sexism and stands up for women as a feminist? Or are you about to label me as a 'man basher'? Since this thread started I have discussed it with my (male) partner who also sees you as being judgemental and harsh towards pregnant women.