Why do men sabotage wife or girlfriends weight loss?

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nsagley
nsagley Posts: 84 Member
in Motivation and Support
I just don't understand it. My boyfriend is constantly snacking in front of me and offering me food that he knows isn't good for me and he acts like his feelings are hurt when I tell him I don't want any. He sometimes even holds it in front of my face and says "Are you sure you don't want some?". It's just sooo frustrating.
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Replies

  • WendyTerry420
    WendyTerry420 Posts: 13,274 Member
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    Enjoying a snack =/= sabotaging anyone.
  • rachel4304
    rachel4304 Posts: 115 Member
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    I really think guys can't win. If he didn't offer to share he'd be selfish and uncaring about your needs. Just cause your on a diet doesn't mean he is. Have self-control, say no thanks and move on with your day.
  • carbar90
    carbar90 Posts: 60 Member
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    I don't think he's intentionally trying to sabotage you.. My boyfriend is very skinny and can consume anything he wants. He doesn't understand it's a lot harder for me to eat something junky and lose weight. Maybe try explaining it to him your reasons for wanting to lose weight and ask him to support you by not offering you any? Just because you're eating healthy doesn't mean everyone else is going to follow suit :P
  • happyheathen927
    happyheathen927 Posts: 167 Member
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    Politely offering to share something is one thing; holding it in someone's face after they've already said no is an entirely different thing. :(
  • miracole
    miracole Posts: 492 Member
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    because there is less guilt when you know the other person is having the junk food too. It's only sabotaging if you choose to let it affect you. Just say "no thanks" and go back to whatever you're doing, he'll take the hint eventually, and possibly eat less of it when he starts subconsciously following your example.
  • pastryari
    pastryari Posts: 8,646 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel.

    I have a friend (he's even on MFP!!!) that sabotages me daily. Tells me to eat more, acts disappointed when I don't get a burrito AND 20 tacos (true story), and he is constantly trying to get me to eat high calorie foods. He also is always showing pictures of all these high calorie looking gigantic portion sized meals that he eats. WHY IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT?! :sad:
  • MidwestAngel
    MidwestAngel Posts: 1,897 Member
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    It's so hard not to have self control and be in charge of what goes into my mouth.
  • AngelsInThighHighs
    AngelsInThighHighs Posts: 247 Member
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    First off, he is allowed to eat what he wants and where ever he wants YOUR dieting NOT him. Second, if you have enough self control to say no even when he is waving it i front of your face you shouldnt be worried about sabotage.
  • AngelsInThighHighs
    AngelsInThighHighs Posts: 247 Member
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    It's so hard not to have self control and be in charge of what goes into my mouth.

    Winner winner chicken dinner! Wait...thats sabotage muahahahahahahahah
  • diodelcibo
    diodelcibo Posts: 2,564 Member
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    I don't even know anymore , wow... this planet what has it become...
  • OkieinMinny
    OkieinMinny Posts: 834 Member
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    saying no thank you is hard
  • khall86790
    khall86790 Posts: 1,100 Member
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    because there is less guilt when you know the other person is having the junk food too.

    Agreed!
    What I dislike is the "oh, will you feel guilty if you eat it?" or "go on, it'll be alright" comments that I get from some people.
    I am not on a diet, I am changing my lifestyle and eating habits. Meaning that when I want a snack or something bad for me, I will have it. But I make conscious choices 9 times out of 10 to not randomly eat crap because I'd rather plan to go out and have a meal with friends at the weekend or drink a few glasses of wine at the weekend which I won't feel guilty about if I am not binging on crappy foods in the mean time!

    I understand your frustrations, but sometimes I don't think people realise what they are doing. And like the above poster said, if you aren't eating it because it's bad for you then they will feel guilty for eating it too. It's pretty basic stuff... just try putting yourself in their shoes over it.

    In future, I'd get your own healthy snack and eat that in front of him so you can just say no thanks, I am happy with what I've got! OR, say no and mean it because really you don't want any!
    Your body is your temple ;)
  • KANGOOJUMPS
    KANGOOJUMPS Posts: 6,472 Member
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    its time we do some *****slapping back.
  • Midnight_Sunshine
    Midnight_Sunshine Posts: 369 Member
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    I know!! Like when you are so good all day and then when you are sleeping they inject chicken fat into your veins!!
  • _Witsy_
    _Witsy_ Posts: 609 Member
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    Him enjoying his junk food is not sabotage. You're on a diet, not him.

    However, if he is waving food in your face knowing you dont' want it and making you uncomfortable, make it very clear that is unacceptable. That's just rude.
  • Summer_Lunatic
    Summer_Lunatic Posts: 543 Member
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    It's so hard not to have self control and be in charge of what goes into my mouth.



    FR sent. :bigsmile: :laugh:
  • _SABOTEUR_
    _SABOTEUR_ Posts: 6,833 Member
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    I know exactly how you feel.

    I have a friend (he's even on MFP!!!) that sabotages me daily. Tells me to eat more, acts disappointed when I don't get a burrito AND 20 tacos (true story), and he is constantly trying to get me to eat high calorie foods. He also is always showing pictures of all these high calorie looking gigantic portion sized meals that he eats. WHY IS HE TRYING TO MAKE ME FAT?! :sad:

    I know that guy. I heard his ab muscles are actually silicone.
  • Infauna
    Infauna Posts: 89
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    He's probably trying to make a kind gesture. Some people use offering food as a kind gesture, others give gifts. But really, it's not that hard to say "I appreciate the offer but no thank you." I'm also sure he's not purposely trying to sabotage you, it's ridiculous to think that people are trying to sabotage you by offering you food. You have control over what you do or do not eat.
  • now_or_never13
    now_or_never13 Posts: 1,575 Member
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    I just don't understand it. My boyfriend is constantly snacking in front of me and offering me food that he knows isn't good for me and he acts like his feelings are hurt when I tell him I don't want any. He sometimes even holds it in front of my face and says "Are you sure you don't want some?". It's just sooo frustrating.

    Is your boyfriend trying to change his eating habits or lose weight? If the answer is no, than he can snack all he wants.

    Offering a snack isn't sabotage. He isn't forcing you to eat the food. Tell him no thank you if you don't want a snack.

    Why isn't whatever he is snacking on good for you? There is nothing stopping you from having a bite or two ... fit it into your calories. Nothing should be off limits besides something that you medically have to stay away from.

    Holding it in front of your face is not all that nice of him. Tell him not to do that. If he does, get up and leave.

    My husband regularly snacks while sitting beside me... chips, cookies, whatever. Do I think he's trying to sabotage me when he asks if I want some? No.

    No one can sabotage your efforts without YOU letting them.

    Just because you are trying to lose weight doesn't mean someone else can't snack in front of you and you shouldn't expect him not to.
  • ScratchAndSniff
    ScratchAndSniff Posts: 48
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    He's cheating on you too. Bank on it.

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