Morbidly Obese mother files complaint

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Replies

  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member
    My first thought is how can these women be so fertile being150-200lbs overweight?

    My first thought was "who is feeding it to these big girls? How do they even find the hole?"

    Oh boy ... I don't see this ending well.
  • odusgolp
    odusgolp Posts: 10,477 Member
    My first thought is how can these women be so fertile being150-200lbs overweight?

    My first thought was "who is feeding it to these big girls? How do they even find the hole?"

    *zips mouth*

    Oh Tubbs *LOL*
  • lawandfitness
    lawandfitness Posts: 1,257 Member
    What I don't get is everyone saying that it was OK for the doctor to lie because maybe he didn't want to embarrass her..... THIS IS JUST WRONG!

    I can understand in an office setting with a co-worker lying about something not to offend them, but under NO circumstances should a doctor, who you trust with medical issues that could be life altering, lie to you. Once a doctor lies to me, their credibility is thrown out the window. I rather have a doctor be up front and honest with me than lie.... after all how am I supposed to trust you with my life if you are too much of a coward to say "I'm sorry but due to your weight I will be unable to deliver your baby at this hospital, it will put you and your baby at risk and I want to ensure you have a safe delivery and if anything does go wrong, at least you can find comfort in knowing you are in one of the top hospitals in the region with the best NICU."

    To me, this doctor was a COWARD!!! And as far the lady goes, I think I would also be offended if a doctor made up a lie to cover up the fact I have weight issues, just say it as it is, that is your profession. If I wanted Dr. Phil, I would go talk to Dr. Phil, just saying.
  • fbmandy55
    fbmandy55 Posts: 5,263 Member
    Not in all cases. If someone chooses to smoke pot who are they hurting? If two people consent to have sex in exchange for money, which one is the victim?
    My replies here would totally derail this thread. I've already got a warning for that! :wink:
    Afterall, prositution is legal when a woman marries a man for his money....
    Meh. Not the same, but I'm guessing you were just being snarky.

    You know me too well.
  • bsix3
    bsix3 Posts: 291
    If a doctor or hospital was not equipped to treat me the last thing I would do is complain. I would find a hospital that could give me and my baby the best care. Her weight has created a complication. Doctors take an oath to do no harm. What more can you ask for than a doctor that is honest enough to assess your situation and say 'I am not qualified. But here are people that are.'?

    Well said. People want no accountability these days. It's always another person's fault.
  • That women is just very ignorant of her extremely large weight.
  • kennethmgreen
    kennethmgreen Posts: 1,759 Member
    I have to agree with this, though I am a devout Libertarian and feel that no one should be told how to live..... Unless it is effecting the welfare or liberties of others.

    If I want to do drugs or hire a prostutute or commit a victimeless crime, I should be free to do so. But once I make a *decision* for myself that effects others, I'm fair game for criticism.

    EDIT* In this case, it would be a financial result.
    But that's the problem with this line of argument. It's not too difficult to make a case that nearly every choice you make can affect others. It's not a clear line, and the only hope we can have for some semblance of normalcy is agreed-upon community standards. How those standards are enacted, respected and enforced are additional issues.

    You can make a valid case that doing drugs or hiring a prostitute or being morbidly obese are victimless crimes. But others can make an equally valid case to the contrary. In each of the examples, the actor (assuming a legal adult of sound mind) is making choices that *primarily* affect him/herself.

    What about the families of the drug users? What if they are affected? And which drugs? Your follow up post mentions smoking pot. Who decides that's where the line is drawn? What about the hospitalization and treatment costs of drug users? What about the violence associated with drugs and prostitution? Sure, those are separate choices being made by different people - and you can make a good argument that the criminalization of these activities contributes to the problem. But if the original choice wasn't made (drug use and prostitution didn't exist), the problems associated with the behaviors wouldn't exist. How far away is that reasoning from someone else's obesity affecting their family or community?

    You are splitting hairs by saying that your choice to do drugs and hire a prostitute only affects *you* while obesity affects others. That's cherry-picking to support a biased argument. Are advocating for the rights to personal freedom, or advocating for the rights to your own selected personal freedoms that you deem OK?
  • k8blujay2
    k8blujay2 Posts: 4,941 Member
    What I don't get is everyone saying that it was OK for the doctor to lie because maybe he didn't want to embarrass her..... THIS IS JUST WRONG!

    I can understand in an office setting with a co-worker lying about something not to offend them, but under NO circumstances should a doctor, who you trust with medical issues that could be life altering, lie to you. Once a doctor lies to me, their credibility is thrown out the window. I rather have a doctor be up front and honest with me than lie.... after all how am I supposed to trust you with my life if you are too much of a coward to say "I'm sorry but due to your weight I will be unable to deliver your baby at this hospital, it will put you and your baby at risk and I want to ensure you have a safe delivery and if anything does go wrong, at least you can find comfort in knowing you are in one of the top hospitals in the region with the best NICU."

    To me, this doctor was a COWARD!!! And as far the lady goes, I think I would also be offended if a doctor made up a lie to cover up the fact I have weight issues, just say it as it is, that is your profession. If I wanted Dr. Phil, I would go talk to Dr. Phil, just saying.

    But it doesn't warrant being sued however... a complaint filed against him, sure... but not a lawsuit.
  • SkimFlatWhite68
    SkimFlatWhite68 Posts: 1,254 Member
    Morbidly obese drama queen.

    She needs to go and look in the mirror and ask herself who's fault it really is.
  • Obese people like this are the ones that make us look bad.
  • knittingwitch
    knittingwitch Posts: 231 Member
    If it wasn't the hospitals police then he shouldn't have lied and said it was, if he wasn't comfortable see her as a patient because of her weight then he should have just stated so. For instants if he told her of the health risks, offered solutions, and she still didn't change to be healthier for her self and the baby. I would say that is a good reason to send a patient some where else.
    I think she is over reacting.
  • MochaMixAZ
    MochaMixAZ Posts: 844 Member
    If it wasn't the hospitals police then he shouldn't have lied and said it was, if he wasn't comfortable see her as a patient because of her weight then he should have just stated so. For instants if he told her of the health risks, offered solutions, and she still didn't change to be healthier for her self and the baby. I would say that is a good reason to send a patient some where else.
    I think she is over reacting.

    He would be sued for sure. Just because a patient doesn't follow the suggestions, physicians typically don't drop them... or if they do, they HAVE to be careful in how the document what happened. If it were the case that docs dropped patients simply because they didn't follow advice -- no one would ever go to their doctor or be honest about their health habits.

    I'm an RN, not that that matters in this discussion. He just handled it poorly. If I could wave my magic wand and give him a redo, I'd suggest he outline her safest options. If she refused to go to the hospital, he COULD document that he felt she was too high risk to safely deliver within the facility-at-hand and he could refuse her as a patient. He needs to make it MORE about him, not less. I would have outlined her medical case, the risks and concerns, my advice, her response - and then signed her off my service as being beyond a safe and prudent course.

    We've collectively put ourselves in a no-win situation. You can't look at someone without fear of being sued. And that's OUTSIDE of a medical arena. WITHIN medicine, it's even worse. Everything becomes suspect. Providing patient care is a gamble nowadays. Heck, speaking to someone is a gamble. Sexual harassment, discrimination, race issues. We've almost paralyzed ourselves with our intention to make everything FAIR. Maybe some things shouldn't be fair.

    I read earlier some responses about flights. Having been 500+ pounds - I DID buy two seats on a plane. And I think I should have - as someone (indelicately) pointed out, I was taking up twice as much space, so why SHOULDN'T I pay more? I don't think my weight should have affected other passenger's ticket cost. It DID take more space and more fuel to carry a heavier load. That was mine to own.

    You don't like how you're being treated or think your doctor is a douche? CHANGE DOCTORS. I grow weary of entitlement issues. I think for the most part, you make your bed, you SHOULD lie in it. But don't make the rest of the world bed down with you.
  • Manda86
    Manda86 Posts: 1,859 Member

    He would be sued for sure. Just because a patient doesn't follow the suggestions, physicians typically don't drop them... or if they do, they HAVE to be careful in how the document what happened. If it were the case that docs dropped patients simply because they didn't follow advice -- no one would ever go to their doctor or be honest about their health habits.

    I'm an RN, not that that matters in this discussion. He just handled it poorly. If I could wave my magic wand and give him a redo, I'd suggest he outline her safest options. If she refused to go to the hospital, he COULD document that he felt she was too high risk to safely deliver within the facility-at-hand and he could refuse her as a patient. He needs to make it MORE about him, not less. I would have outlined her medical case, the risks and concerns, my advice, her response - and then signed her off my service as being beyond a safe and prudent course.

    We've collectively put ourselves in a no-win situation. You can't look at someone without fear of being sued. And that's OUTSIDE of a medical arena. WITHIN medicine, it's even worse. Everything becomes suspect. Providing patient care is a gamble nowadays. Heck, speaking to someone is a gamble. Sexual harassment, discrimination, race issues. We've almost paralyzed ourselves with our intention to make everything FAIR. Maybe some things shouldn't be fair.

    I read earlier some responses about flights. Having been 500+ pounds - I DID buy two seats on a plane. And I think I should have - as someone (indelicately) pointed out, I was taking up twice as much space, so why SHOULDN'T I pay more? I don't think my weight should have affected other passenger's ticket cost. It DID take more space and more fuel to carry a heavier load. That was mine to own.

    You don't like how you're being treated or think your doctor is a douche? CHANGE DOCTORS. I grow weary of entitlement issues. I think for the most part, you make your bed, you SHOULD lie in it. But don't make the rest of the world bed down with you.

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  • OSUloulou
    OSUloulou Posts: 74 Member
    I can't get past the part that she called the media and brought attention to her weight. Sure, I would be embarrassed that the doctor wanted me to go elsewhere, but like others have said, I would not want to be treated at a hospital that did not feel equipped to treat me. However, I would be mortified that my weight was plastered all over the media.
  • christina0089
    christina0089 Posts: 709 Member
    The doctor should have been honest and told her that he was not able to give her and her child the care that they would need in her specific situation rather than stating it is hospital policy.. In my opinion that is the only mistake the Dr. made. Mostly because he put himself in the situation where he can now be sued.

    when I was pregnant with my daughter I was considered morbidly obese and I had some complications. Lucily my Dr. was able to handle it but it was touch and go for a while I lost alot of blood and could have easily died. I am glad that I had the proper care so that I can be here for my kids. If at anytime my Dr. had felt he could not handle my situation I would have been greatful that he turned my care over to someone who was capable of doing so.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    I think this is totally crazy! It's not like she was 600 lbs! I was VERY heavy during both of my deliveries and had no problems whatsoever...she had no other issues other than weight? I would feel the same way! :noway:

    I think it is totally crazy as well. 353lbs isn't that bad. I delivered a baby 2 years ago when I was 310lbs, naturally with zero complications and was out of the hospital less than 8 hours later. No gestational diabetes, no thought of a c-section. Had a great doctor who was never worried.
  • Sapporo
    Sapporo Posts: 693 Member
    I don't see what she is suing for. If I were her I would be really upset about the doctor waiting so long to say something but then be glad I knew so I could find a better doctor.
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
    I'm a neonatal nurse and I think that the doctor was making the educated decision to recommend her to a hospital that was better able to care for her and her child. It isn't a surprise that obese women are more likely to have complicated deliveries, and if he didn't recommend her to a site that was best suited to provide her with appropriate care, than he would be negligent in his practice.
  • fadedflower79
    fadedflower79 Posts: 80 Member
    Based on this weight, everything changes including how the mother will metabolize medications, position, etc. I applaud this doctor for thinking about the welfare of the infant and sending the mother to a facility that will be better equipped to handle a patient with definite and obvious risk factors.

    Everybody suing over every. little. thing. is getting ridiculous! Are people ever going to look at the big picture and make better choices or in many cases... just press on. Our level of entitlement is out of control in my opinion
  • Mrs_Bones
    Mrs_Bones Posts: 195 Member
    I think this is totally crazy! It's not like she was 600 lbs! I was VERY heavy during both of my deliveries and had no problems whatsoever...she had no other issues other than weight? I would feel the same way! :noway:

    I think it is totally crazy as well. 353lbs isn't that bad. I delivered a baby 2 years ago when I was 310lbs, naturally with zero complications and was out of the hospital less than 8 hours later. No gestational diabetes, no thought of a c-section. Had a great doctor who was never worried.

    First of all, congradulations on your little one. It's always very excited to have a healthy delivery. What you must understand though is that you are the exception to the rule. There are always going to be individual cases of people who have perfectly fine deliveries despite the odds/risks. I've seen crack-addicts give birth to perfectly healthy babies. Believe me when I say I'm not comparing a crack-addict to someone with a weight issue (as they're not even remotely similar issues and I feel that overweight individuals often make brilliant parents), but I am trying to give a seperate example of how sometimes someone with a risk factor can be perfectly fine but how it isn't the norm. It wouldn't be fair to say to other people trying to conceive that weight isn't an issue in conception and safe delivery just because you didn't have a problem.
  • sissiluv
    sissiluv Posts: 2,205 Member
    The real question is... how was penetration even possible in the 1st place??
    I'm going to guess, with a penis.
  • rjt1000
    rjt1000 Posts: 700 Member
    The real question is... how was penetration even possible in the 1st place??
    I'm going to guess, with a penis.

    2nd guess would be a turkey baster.
  • 1) The doctor was in the wrong for telling her it was hospital policy, if in fact it is not.
    2) Her sister (SIL?) was told the same thing a couple years ago by another doctor and delivered at the Downtown Indy hospital. I think that's odd that if this is the case, her sister didn't bring it up to anyone other than family. *shrugs*
    3) I'd be embarrassed to air my weight in the media.

    I was obese when I was pregnant with and delivered my son. Do I wish I had gotten healthy and lost weight before becoming pregnant, yeah. But, DH and I weren't very careful one time and I ended up pregnant. I do have a healthy, happy kid though, so I think my weight at the time of pregnancy/delivery play very little role in his health.
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    removed to fix
  • leantool
    leantool Posts: 365 Member
    Please explain how MY obesity affects YOU, a total stranger. Because I am among a statistic? What happened to love the sinner and hate the sin. In my opinion, YOU are the one who is being selfish and self-centered. My rights and freedoms are only acceptable as long as they don't impact YOU. But your bigotry has an impact too.


    [/quote]

    [/quote]in form of taxpayer's money spent into facilities to cater for special set-ups...
    and
    people pushing for fat acceptance and benefits for morbid obesity as physical impairment, please read up physiological effects of morbid obesity before you try to make people stop bettering them!
    imo, fatshaming is not a doctor asking the patient to lose weight when their BMI is 30, 35,40 , but i consider it fatshaming when ladies get looked down upon by shop assistants in clothing stores(it's no buisness of this people to direct how much anyone should weigh):glasses:
    (looking for tin hat and armor before bashing starts) :ohwell:
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    .
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member
    Also, promiscuous sex is a poor lifestyle choice now? What?

    So teenage/unwanted pregnancy, HIV, gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes, chlamydia, chancroids, hepatitis, crabs and trichomoniasis are all GOOD choices? What is WRONG with you???

    This, this, this and more THIS!

    I am astonished...
  • SwimFan1981
    SwimFan1981 Posts: 1,430 Member

    I think it is totally crazy as well. 353lbs isn't that bad.


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  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member
    Body shaming? Fat acceptance? These terms are indicative of everything that is wrong with our society today. There is zero rationale in accepting obesity period end of story. If you are obese you should love yourself enough to work toward resolving it. Will you succeed? I do not know. Should obese people be ostricized or discriminated against, of course not. There is a huge difference though between not discriminating or hating obesity and loving yourself obese. The middle ground should be that obesity is a disease, a deadly one. To be obese and refuse to work toward change is selfish period. You are depriving yourself and more importantly your loved ones of years of life. Losing weight is absurdly difficult. I was fortunate to have LapBand which put me on the road. I am not saying that failing to lose weight is failing, but failing to recognize obesity as a disease and making the mental and physical changes required is an absolute fail!


    Being fat isn't a disease.

    But in your last remark you sad not all people get fat by making bad choices... So which is it? A choice or a disease?

    A body type.

    How is eating at a calorie surplus a "bad' choice? Is it somehow immoral to eat at a calorie surplus?


    So which is it? A body type or someone eating a calorie surplus?
    You can't even make two posts without contradicting yourself.
  • smantha32
    smantha32 Posts: 6,990 Member


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    I love him. :heart: