WOMEN and cooking.

Do you cook for your man? whats your views on it? im not against women, honestly couldnt live without them but ill face the facts and admit im a SHOCKING cook and can barely stomach my own food . Not like i have a Choice

And with comments like that you will never have a choice.

I don't really like it when a women cooking and being a homemaker is reffered to as traditional. It makes it sound old fashioned. I am not saying that anyone on here said anything like this but it just makes me think of a feminist type perspective. It just bugs me.
There is nothing wrong with a women that decides to take the reins of the most important job there is and ever could be, being a mom. I get so annoyed when women act like a housewife is something to frown at. The honest truth is that a housewife in most cases deserves to be paid better then just about any other job.

But it is 'traditional' - nothing to do with being old-fashioned or feminist, just that there is a very long history of women being regarded as the domestic half of a marriage/partnership, while the male partner works outside the home.

Of course there's nothing wrong with choosing to be a stay-at-home mother/homemaker. There is, however, something wrong, when someone assumes that that is what a woman should do, simply because she is female, or that a woman who has a professional life and consequently contributes financially to the shared lifestyle of a couple should also be fully responsible for all the domestic activities and chores, just because that has traditionally been the woman's role in the Western world of the last few centuries.

Whereas your description of the word may be accurate. The term traditional is generally used differently be those pushing a feminist agenda. I don't like the term because it reminds me of that. And in addition, the truth is that it would be better if families actually strived to live a lifestyle that allowed for one parent to be home. Many couples do not put in the effort and sacrifice necessary to do so. I believe that both women and men need to be accepting of their roles within their relationship and not believe that both parents should work just to sustain a lifestyle that is not what is best for the family as a whole. This does not mean that it should be the women that is the homemaker but it does mean that families should actually strive to live on one income instead of two. Putting your children in daycare just so you can keep your car, boat or (to big) house is not good parenting.

Maybe just worry about your own parenting and don't worry about other people.

I stay home and I plan to keep doing that when we have kids (in a few years when my husband makes more), but if we had kids now I'd have to work. We're military, my husband is enlisted so he doesn't make a high salary. We have military housing but we're just barely scraping by. One used car, limited food budget, no "luxuries." We're ok with just the two of us, but if we had children it would not be enough.

It's naive to think that if both parents work they have enough money for luxuries. The way the economy is right now many people are just barely making it. And it's judgmental to think that those people can't be good parents or aren't making sacrifices for their children because they're working hard to provide their kids with food and a safe place to live.

You can't know what other people's motivations are or what their struggles are, and there are too many people who are legit bad parents (I was a teacher, I could tell you stories) to go around judging all the two income households.

Edited to fix quotes.

You did not read the whole thing did you? I am speaking of those that CHOOSE to work instead of being good parents. Not those that are in circumstances that make things a necessity. Try to understand what you are reading before you accuse someone of being judgmental.

I did read it. Twice. I'm saying you can't know what people are going through so you should not assume that you know that they are not willing to sacrifice. They may not be able to do what you're suggesting. Or they may not agree that that's what is best for their family. It's not your place to say.

I don't mean to sound rude but you are really sounding ludicrous. Let me say this again for you.............My point was directed toword those that CHOOSE not to do what is neccesary to be in a situation where one parent can stay home. My point was not directed toword thost that HAVE to make these decisions.
Also, if a couple believes that they should CHOOSE to work and put thier children in alternete care, then they should choose, if possible, not to become parents in the first place. This is not me saying this it is more of a DUHH kind of a moment, if a couple is not going to raise thier own children (on purpose) then they should not have had them.

Your point of view is exceedingly subjective and judgemental. It is not a choice between being a "good parent" and both parents working . . . my house hold has 2 great parents and both my husband and I work outside the home. Home management is a very rewarding job, I wish I could do it, but I'm the primary bread winner in my home. My husband and I discussed if he wanted to do it and he doesn't. We choose to pay about $1000 per month for our son to have half day child care because my husband is not a early development educator and doesn't want to be. We manage to have a son who is exceedingly happy, well socialized, well mannered, smart, loving, adventurous, respectful, and just the right mixture of independent while still relying on us . . . if the goal is something different I'd be surprised. So you can keep your judgy mcjudgerson attitude and stick it where the sun don't shine.

In the situation you mentioned i would have to say to things.
1.) your husband is choosing to work. At least i think that it what you said.
2.) I guess i was thinking more along the lines of full time caretakers, not those that utilize a half day kind of a system. A few hours is not the same thing as having someone else raise your kids for you. I guess i could have made that point more clear.

Cooking is a learned skill; it is not some gender-specific inborn ability. When two people work,they need to divide the home tasks equally. However they do it is irrelevant.

Turtlefitness, you are being judgemental to question other families' choices of how to raise their own children. Just because both parents choose to work doesn't make them bad parents. Just because YOU think it's wrong doesn't make it so.

this is not about choosing to work, it is about choosing to have others raise your kids when you don't have to. It is wrong for a person to intentionally have a kid fully intending on having others raise them.......period.

I seem to remember that it was a sign of status that children weren't raised by their parents. Royalty would be an example. Maybe I've read too much history, though.

Yea, quite a few of my ivy educated friends do this. It's funny that someone is complaining about it.

Just because someone is well educated does not make them a good parent.

Neither does having strong and rudely expressed opinions make someone correct

Or incorrect

In the situation you mentioned i would have to say to things.
1.) your husband is choosing to work. At least i think that it what you said.
2.) I guess i was thinking more along the lines of full time caretakers, not those that utilize a half day kind of a system. A few hours is not the same thing as having someone else raise your kids for you. I guess i could have made that point more clear.

I'm not certain what it is about you that makes you feel entitled to judging others for their parenting decisions, but I hazard you against this frame of mind. If there is one thing that I learned by having parents, being a parent, and debating with other parents it's this:
Parenting is a series of choices, what we're discussing here is just one decision in the way you run your household and just one parenting decision. You can go ahead and judge someone for their decision, but you make parenting decisions as well and not everyone is going to agree with the decisions you make. When you judge others you open yourself for judgment, I'd rather accept the non-detrimental decisions of others and have them accept mine because we all do things right and we all make mistakes. At the end of the day, no matter how the child is raised, they will become an adult and make their own decisions as to the person they are at the end of the day. You want to just make sure that they are given enough tools to have a positive impact on the society around them, as long as you do this then you're doing it right.

As far as my husband, he made a choice to be a great dad (which he finds rewarding) and continue to work with teenagers (which he finds rewarding). We are not exclusively parents, we are also adults who need to have our independent personalities and reward systems. He finds his job rewarding, I offered him the opportunity to do something different, but he finds this too rewarding. Last year when his brother died I was glad that he had made this decision because he would have just isolated himself, but having obligations outside of the home helped to keep him going. Someday our kids grow up and move out of our homes and at that time the two people left behind have to have enough of themselves to still be whole.

I'm single right now, but when I am with a man I do all the cooking and cleaning. I enjoy catering to and caring for them. Old fashioned I know, but it is what it is and how I was raised.

i want to know the 2013 mentality, do women still do this for their men?

Absolutely not! I am single, this might be why.............

Do you cook for your man? whats your views on it? im not against women, honestly couldnt live without them but ill face the facts and admit im a SHOCKING cook and can barely stomach my own food . Not like i have a Choice

You do have a choice.
Be a man and learn how to cook!
Seriously, its fun, its not rocket science and your wife/girlfriend/partner will love you for it.

I think I love you!!
Wait, did I say that out loud?

There is nothing sexier than a man in the kitchen. My husband can't cook. We'd live off of chicken nuggets and Sonic if he was in charge of cooking, but he loves my cooking. He doesn't take it for granted, or expect a gourmet meal every night. He always thanks me for every meal, and he is not opposed to washing some dishing afterwards. I love to take care of him, but love it when he takes care of me as well.

I cook ... always. If I didn't I think we'd starve or live off frozen meals - lol. Actually it works because I like to cook and he doesn't. He takes his share of other household stuff though and does all the ironing so I'm not complaining

I am the chef in my relationship, but he is expected to be an equal when it comes to household chores if we both work full time. If one is working less, that person will do more around the house.

The 2013 mentality as someone else said is whatever works for your family.

My husband would starve if he waited for me to cook for him, I work later than he does. He and I have very different diets, and I doubt he'd want to eat the way I do on any kind of regular basis. He's also a better cook than I am. Many women in this thread have said their husbands are better cooks. Does this mean cooking is not an innate skill formed in the womb for women?

We each cook for ourselves. That works for us. I don't view it as us not caring for one another but as respecting each other as independent adults who can care for ourselves. We do cook for one another on occasion. It's not something we mind doing. It's just not something we see as obligatory to prove our good spouse status. We have a pretty random mix on other household chores, and they aren't gender defined. We contribute pretty equally overall. I don't expect him to spoil me, and he doesn't expect to be spoiled.