I give up.

I am a hamster on a wheel. Running and going nowhere. I feel like my body has been damaged beyond repair. I have tried all the suggestions on here and sought medical help. But I can't fight it. I have no fight left. My birth mother and sister are over 300 lbs and looks like I am heading that way. Bit I refuse to do it eating foods I hate. I've lost 6 lbs in one year but had lost a little more. It's all coming back on. I should just accept that I am fat. Thank you everyone who is tried to help. Appreciate it. This website is great for those who are successful. Unfortunately for me, it has just made me depressed. I wish everyone the best.

I am successful BECAUSE i joined MFP and i stuck to it!!!!

I've tried eating all my exercise calories, not eating all my exercise categories, weightlifting, reducing my calories, increasing my calories, heart rate monitor, adjusting my macros, increasing my exercise, decreasing and increasing my exercise, adjusting my tdee to find an optimal caloric rate (never found). I won't quit exercise. It's my lifestyle. But I have to give up the notion that ill ever be thinl.

It sounds like you bounce around too much. If you have a large amount of weight to lose, I would recommend following MFP's guidelines in terms of how many calories to eat, and i recommend doing cardio and eating back exercise calories. I suggest logging every walk you take as exercise. I did this and lost 50 lbs. I think weight lifting is amazing....but i also will admit that when I was obsese, the weight gain that weightlifting showed up on the scale made me feel SO FRICKEN FRUSTRATED that I QUIT. Then i spent another two years being fat before I joined MFP. I think weightlifting is great, even for bigger folks, but it looks to me like you can't handle emotionally the weight fluctuations it would cause any more than I could at the time. Either way- you need to pick one program AND STICK TO IT. Switching things up too much too often can make it hard to even know what is working.

I closed my diary because I knew there would be negative people just ready to kick someone when rhey are down. I have seen it too often on here. To sumit up, my diary looks like someone struggling to find the right macros and caloric rate for success and didn't have much luck. I exercise between 3 and 5 hours at med to high intensity,

Stop the boat!!!! If you are obese and have a lot of weight to lose, you are making things WAY TOO COMPLICATED!!! You need to slow yourself down and take baby steps.

Step #1: Make the decision to change (You did this! Fantastic! Well on your way!)

Step #2: Figure out how many calories you should be eating and begin logging your food intake. My suggestion is to keep it SIMPLE. Simple as in plug in your weight information into MFP and say you want to lose 1-2 lbs per week and then do what it says.

Step #3: Exercise! (You DO THIS! YES!! WELL on your WAY!!). Log your exercise!

Step #4: EAT your exercise calories!

Step #5: MANTAIN AN ATTITUDE OF GRATITUDE. This seems cheesey, but no one changed their life by beating themselves up. You get a positive feedback loop going in this whole thing- you eat healthy, you work out, you see the scale move! You have a stokefest! Do it all again!

Step #6: When you FRAK UP, just tell yourself "ok. I ate waaaay too much today (or didn't exercise, or whatever)" And then get back on that horse and get right back to it. In my "journey" from obese to athletic, I ate pizza and chocolate, i sometimes ate way too much. I had days that i didn't exercise. Moments when I felt like i wasn't going to get any better. I had someone ask me if I was pregnant after I had reached my frist goal weight. I didn't let those things ruin me. I cried like a baby and then I got back to it. That's what WINNERS do. They pick themselves up and they get back to it, no matter how many times they fall.

Step #7: As you lose weight, reevaluate your caloric goals, and your exercise, as needed. Inehrently, as you get to your maintenance level, you will find yourself learning about TDEE and macros and all that stuff. But right now, too much information is overwhelming you and derealiing you. I was on MFP for three years before I swithced to TDEE. Two years before I picked up the weights. It's ok to not be doing every possible thing all at once. Some things are more appropriate for people in maintenance than they are for someone who is obese.

And relax.

Life is a precious gift. Go out in the sunshine and enjoy it. You might find that something you did that made you happy as hell, like going for a long walk with a loved one, or going snowboarding listening to your favorite album, burns a ton of calories and gives you the joy you have been seeking all along.



oh, last step, step #8: NEVER EVER EVER EVER EVER GIVE UP!

I suspect I know the problem, but the OP's diary is closed. Oh well.

I think we are thinking the same thing.

When you've eaten too much and you can't write it down, And you feel like the biggest failure in town. When you want to give up just because you gave in, and forget all about being healthy and thin. So What! You went over your points a bit, It's your next move that counts...So don't you quit! It's a moment of truth, it's an attitude change. It's learning the skills to get back in your range. It's telling yourself, "You've done great up till now. You can take on this challenge and beat it somehow." It's part of your journey toward reaching your goal. You're still gonna make it, just stay in control. To stumble and fall is not a disgrace, If you summon the will to get back in the race. But, often the struggler's, when loosing their grip, Just throw in the towel and continue to slip. And learn too late when the damage is done, that the race wasn't over...they still could have won. Lifestyle change can be awkward and slow, but facing each challenge will help you grow. Success is failure turned inside out, the silver tint in a cloud of doubt. When you're pushing to the brink, just refuse to submit, If you bite it, you write it....But don't you quit!