Do your partners/family give you support or not?

My husband wasn't really supportive until he caught the fitness bug. Now he is the one throwing my stuff out of the cart and looking for even better calorie choices. I don't think he wanted to focus on what I was doing before he started, as it made him feel worse about himself, and he just wasn't at the point of being ready to make a change. I don't think you can ask someone to support you, but it's at least important to have them respect your decision and not make it harder for you.

As for my family, my older sister and younger brother lost weight first, so they're super happy for me. My twin sister on the other hand is worried she'll be the "fat sibling" now, so I don't talk to her about it much to spare her feelings. In my experience you just have to talk with other people who are interested in the same things to get support, whether it's on here, or it's your aunt you hardly talked to before. A lot of people in my family have been supportive, it's just not the people I normally talked to before.

Try expanding your support network.

My boyfriend gets so jealous and he says I am not spending time with him. Its annoying. Says I am going to leave him for someone else. Funny thing is that he is over weight also and if he wanted he could be out there with me losing weight to.

No, I don't get any encouragement at all. Totally alone.

I'm glad, though, that people around me rarely try to undermine me.

Well for the most part my wife does not give any real support.... i get more at work than at home....

My husband is along for the calorie-counting ride, and is supportive, though he does tend to encourage me to indulge in treats. I resist, so it's kind of a joke between us.

Me: I wonder how many calories were in those three fries I took off your plate.
Him: ZERO, because they weren't yours.
Me: . . . (logs an educated guess)

I tend to be extremely analytical so keep that in mind when reading further...

I wonder if he just doesn't know how to process what you're going through. He may feel a sense of jealousy that you are succeeding so well, or that he wants to follow your example but his pride may be getting in the way. He may want to change his eating and exercise habits and improve his own health but is so self-conscious about it that he criticizes to distance himself from the problem.

Typically when I get these kinds of comments and reactions it leaves the impression that the other person is conflicted. They are jealous of the success and want to despise you for it, but on the other hand they are proud of your accomplishment but don't know how to express it. As a result their comments seem underhanded. They may not even know that they are being offensive.

Aside from all the psychoanalytical mumbo jumbo above, if you are doing this for the right reasons and your motivations are not centered on the opinions of others than you should be able to pull through. I know it's hard when those around you aren't supportive. I feel it everyday. But this is YOUR health, and YOUR body, and YOUR life. Once you come to terms with your motivation, you may find yourself pitying those who belittle your success rather than being offended by them.

I get none. Wife thinks I look good now, at my lowest, I was "too skinny" *smh*. She says she wants to join me but never quite gets the motivation to do it. She has started to cook a lot better for the most part

My husband has never had a weight problem. When chips or chocolate is on sale at the store he buys a bunch of it and when I say that I don't want that stuff around he says just don't eat it. As if I got to the point I have by being able to say no to temptation! Argghh, he just doesn't get it.

Some tough love - unless he's putting the food into your mouth, this is your problem to deal with, not his. The world isn't going to stop eating lots of yummy things just to make us more comfortable. We *do* have to be able to say no. It's a mental game. Discipline and habit. Eventually, we will have to go outside to a restaurant or party or ball game where other people are eating like crap, and be able to say no.

Like I said, it sure would be nice to have some encouragement, but I don't need it. It's just a bonus.

There's no guarantee that family will support you, unfortunately. Your satisfaction with your choices, your happiness over your milestones, and how you see yourself is often a one-man victory party. And there's nothing wrong with that. My advice is to continue to ignore the slick comments, and smile smugly.

I am sorry to hear that your family is not supportive. They should be cheering you along the whole way! I am fortunate that my hubby is also trying to lose. He's doing a different plan than me, but also trying and losing. We have found that when we do it together that we are more successful. Does your other half need to lose too? Maybe he's afraid and doesn't want to get discouraged and doesn't want to discourage you at the same time?

I'm sorry you don't have good support from those around you.

I'm incredibly lucky to have support from my husband, and my sister, even though she's long distance, also from my friends and even those I work with.

Not really it's mostly...

Regarding my husband: When we first met (June 1997), I was 140lbs and wore a size 8. At my largest (June 2012), I was ~270lbs and wore a size 24. I think it bothered him that perhaps I wasn't as physically eye appealing as I had been but he never said anything about it. He is someone who prefers a little more meat on women, but I imagine that is up to a point. He has offered plenty of compliments verbalizing his notice of my weight loss, but he won't hold me to a nutrition or workout commitment, and isn't a good workout partner for me (he goes to the gym for strength training and I go for cardio exercises). If I asked him to run out and get me a milkshake, he would, and he wouldn't ask where I was on my calorie intake for the day before doing so. I think he is trying to act on the 'safe' side.

Regarding my family: My mom was a health and exercise fanatic long before it was trendy, so she is supportive. My cousin is convinced that this is all a phase and that I won't make the lifestyle changes for it to stick; that at some point I will get lax and relapse.

Still, I catch the most slack from my family for having my kids get on board with upping the physical activity and nutrition. Their mentality is "they're just kids, so they should regularly have a little bag of Cheetos or a Little Debbie snack cake before dinner..." I'm not a warden, but by no means are the kids exempt from our family's long history of heart disease. I think I am more strict about it at home because in elelmentary school there are so many birthday parties, classroom pizza parties, and unhealthy a la carte lunch options, so I am hoping to even things out.

I'm so thankful that my husband & family are supportive of my weight-loss. I'm not an emotional eater but my problem was lack of will-power. My hubby & Dad are both in the Army & very fit as was I before I got married. My Dad comes over every day at lunch & works out with me. My husband goes on walks with me in the evenings when it's nice out, he use to have to have coke in the house at all times but after having a heart to heart with him telling him that it's hard for me to want to eat healthy, workout when he's stuffing his face & downing coke all the time. He's stopped bringing it in the house instantly & if we go to a movie or dinner he'll get a soda every so often. I'm thankful for my family & husband & I'm sorry you don't have that support system. :flowerforyou: Stay strong & feel free to add me if you'd like.

This is the main reason My Fitness Pal becomes My Flirty Pal. All of us are here to make a change in our lives and become healthy. We seek support, guidance, love, acceptance and being desired from our partners and for some odd reason we do not get that. Its almost as if being in the mind set of healthy has made them standoffish towards us. We do not hear the compliments that we want and thus falling into the My Flirty Pal Dark hole of sexual want. We are seeing others transform their bodies right in front of our eyes and complimenting them. They see the changes we are making and complimenting on us as well. That feeling is intoxicating. We hear....errr read on a daily basis how great we look, that we are sexy, keep going, you are awesome and we can't help but want more. In turn we seek more attention and acceptance from our partners but become disheartened when we do not get it thus in turn pushing our partner further away.

Its a tough situation and an even tougher battle to overcome. Main thing is to tell them how they are making you feel. See if they make a change because if not you will end up regretting them for a long time. If they still do not change then what every happens is their fault. You can at least live with the fact that you did everything you can and know in your heart that you would have never treated them in that manner.