Older guys...

13

Replies

  • 73Freckles
    73Freckles Posts: 201 Member
    it's not about the numbers being compatible. it's about the maturity level, the experiences, the common interests and so on. age is just a number but the life experiences that go along with that number can make a difference. good luck!
  • LisaMarie8713
    LisaMarie8713 Posts: 310
    I was done after the first sentence. The age thing is completely immaterial. The work thing is what you really, really need to think about.

    So true!!! Love and work rarely go well together. Watch your back, and don't be naive!!

    That being said, I'm 32 and dating a 41 yo. I love him very much, and the age thing is never an issue. We laugh about it sometimes :)
  • Lulzaroonie
    Lulzaroonie Posts: 222 Member
    My personal feelings that I would probably date someone 9 years older than me (35 years old), but I wouldn't say no to someone older if it felt right on both sides.
    Last year I went out with a guy who is well known in America, in commercials, and supernatural tv dramas, who is in his 40s. He was attracted to me, but I wasn't sexually attracted to him, and so nothing really took off...
  • Tat2dDom0105
    Tat2dDom0105 Posts: 661
    I'm 43, and if a 28 year old hit on me, i would be flattered no doubt. But, there would be no need to take that any further since i'm married.
  • rockangel8907
    rockangel8907 Posts: 429 Member
    Make no mistake. Most young hot 20 somethings do NOT find 40+ men "attractive" physically. Most of them like his "secureity" aka $$$$. Don't get it twisted. If Mick Jaggar drove cab he'd be lucky if Roseanne Barr looked at him twice. Also, I am 42, and get hit on by 20 something men frequently. I am not into men young enough to be my offspring however. Why? Because I think it's wrong to mess with someone from the dating pool your child (or someone young enough to be your child), is in.
    $$$$ isn't a big factor for me, sure I want him to have his *kitten* together, no bill collectors calling ect....but I would be just as happy dating a man who pulled up in a '07 grand prix as someone who pulls up in a '13 Audi TT. But then again maybe I'm not one of the 'hot' 20 something's.
  • 73Freckles
    73Freckles Posts: 201 Member
    The trouble with older women is they often come with a lot of baggage.

    Guys want a woman who makes them feel good, young, like a stud. Typically women into their 40's have been married, divorced, had kids, can be jaded, lack energy etc. Guys want to feel they are the provider and it is sometimes very difficult to do that when the woman is 40 and established.

    I am not talking about ALL women over 40 before you all jump on me!!!

    I don't know about that. I get hit on by men of all ages including many who are 20 years younger than me, and most find it attractive that I'm experienced, fit, financially secure, sophisticated and make him feel like a stud despite being emotionally stable and very independent. So I think it depends on the woman (and the man who wants her) personally.

    being that i'll be 40 this year and i have been a young woman in the past....i would say with regards to the baggage....that both women, older and younger have baggage....it's just that the older women know how to carry it better. I would never ever want to revisit my 20s or even early 30s. I'm actually looking forward to 40!
  • av8artist
    av8artist Posts: 46
    Are you kidding? I would be floating in the air... Then, like @rockangel8907 said... someone my child's age would be someone who I would resent if it was MY child was dating a 'me'.
  • jamie610811
    jamie610811 Posts: 1,735 Member
    I dated a woman who was 28 when I was 43, and the thing that made me smile most was she use to say " all though I am 28 I love feeling 43 " :smile:
  • MeeshyBW
    MeeshyBW Posts: 382 Member
    Make no mistake. Most young hot 20 somethings do NOT find 40+ men "attractive" physically. Most of them like his "secureity" aka $$$$. Don't get it twisted. If Mick Jaggar drove cab he'd be lucky if Roseanne Barr looked at him twice. Also, I am 42, and get hit on by 20 something men frequently. I am not into men young enough to be my offspring however. Why? Because I think it's wrong to mess with someone from the dating pool your child (or someone young enough to be your child), is in.

    That's nonsense. When I was Younger (i'm 30 now) I frequently dated guys in their 40's because I find them more physically attractive than younger guys. Purely physical. Not every guy over 40 looks like crap! Most are in shape and I especially find grey hair attractive.
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  • literatelier
    literatelier Posts: 209 Member
    I like the variety of the comments! Thanks. :)

    I really just like him a lot.. he's got a great sense of humor and his laugh is fantastic. As I stated before the work thing isn't a big deal - he's a part-time recruiter, and I would probbaly be considered more senior than he is. It's a small company and lots of people in the office date. He does travel writing for AAA and personal training in his off time; he's not wealthy so it's not a money thing. I know he's recently divorced (within the last couple years), but I've been aquantainces with him for almost three years (we just recently started talking more) and he seems like a good person. I'll think on it some more...
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    I'm dating a guy thats 3 years older than me so age is just a number
  • krislyn84
    krislyn84 Posts: 337 Member
    I was done after the first sentence. The age thing is completely immaterial. The work thing is what you really, really need to think about.

    This.

    I am 28. The guy I am seeing is 42. It hasn't made any difference in our relationship. We like each other and we have common interests. Yes, he is hot. No, he doesn't have money. I make more than he does. What you need to be worried about is the fact that you work together. Is he your superior? That's a definite no-no. Even if he's not, how awkward is it going to be when things don't work out?
  • scs143
    scs143 Posts: 2,190 Member
    I barely think it should be a consideration. If you like each other, have at it!
  • csuhar
    csuhar Posts: 779 Member
    My rule has always been that, as long as they're 18, they're fair game as far as age is concerned.

    There are potentially concerns about where you are in life, such as how he may physically, psychologically, and professionally be in a place where it's time for him to retire while you've still got a good decade left in you. But that would be for you to work out if you got to that point.

    I knew one guy whose wife was ten years younger. All he had to say about it was "You know, back when I was a senior in High School, it never crossed my mind that I might walk past a second- or third-grade class and see my future wife. But a decade or so later, it's worked out fine."
  • Papalov100
    Papalov100 Posts: 1,593 Member
    I like older guys
  • Aross83
    Aross83 Posts: 936 Member
    I don't see any issue with that age difference. If he was getting touchy feely with you he's into you. Go get some!

    -This
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    I would hardly say "age doesn't matter" when you're talking about 10+ years difference. It absolutely matters. But it is not a dealbreaker, in and of itself. Three questions:

    1. Are you physically attracted to him? It's a simple question. If you aren't, nothing else matters. I think a lot of younger women (especially those who may not have had a solid father figure in their lives) are attracted to the feeling of security they get from being with an older guy, particularly if he has a well-established career and has achieved a certain level of financial stability. And that may translate to the woman as physical attraction, but it isn't, and you will realize that eventually. Does the thought of having sex with him gross you out, yes or no?

    2. Do you have a lot of common interests? It's just kind of a fact that as you get older, the way you spend your free time changes a bit. If the two of you can't find some common ground in terms of what you're going to do when you're together, then it's never going to work. I have a friend who, at 24, once dated a 53-year-old man. She knew he was rich, and he knew she was young and beautiful, and that was all that mattered ... until she realized he had never seen any of her favorite movies, hated the music she listened to, didn't eat the same kind of food she ate, didn't want to go out drinking every night, etc. They finally realized that money and looks are not everything.

    3. Do you have compatible values, lifestyles, and goals for the future? As a single woman in your late 20s, the thought of marriage and kids has probably crossed your mind. Has he been married before? Does he have kids? If the answer to either of these questions is yes, that may have a big impact on whether or not he wants to get married or have kids in the future, and if the answers are no, at his age, it COULD indicate that he intends to remain a childless bachelor forever. Those are things you need to consider. Also, are you on the same page when it comes to career-related things? He may be well-settled in his career and prefer not to be with a woman who could still be deciding what she wants to do with her life.

    All of these things are why age definitely matters. Moving beyond age, consider your working relationship. First of all, does your company forbid intra-office dating? I'm guessing no, if you're even considering it, but you might want to check if you're not sure. Secondly, if the relationship ends badly, how easy is it going to be to work in the same office with him? If your work performance or his suffers as a result of a bad break-up and having to see and work with each other every day, which one of you is going to get canned? If he's higher-ranking than you are (even if he's not your direct superior), I can pretty much guarantee it's not going to be him. Think long and hard about that before you date someone you work with.
  • BellaLunaFleur
    BellaLunaFleur Posts: 154 Member
    I love older men, always have. Just talk to him see what happens.
  • SmartWhatever
    SmartWhatever Posts: 718 Member
    Age doesnt matter. That being said, I only date younger guys. :tongue:

    If he likes you, go for it!!
  • Maribel_1986
    Maribel_1986 Posts: 457 Member
    Age shouldn't be too big of an issue.. could be later... What you should worry about is the work thing.... It could go so wrong, unless one of you is transferred to a different floor, or something like that... people start rumors, judging, etc. I would never date someone I work with again... Learned my lesson.
  • av8artist
    av8artist Posts: 46
    This thread has been quite entertaining to read. Thanks! :bigsmile:

    I'm here all week. Try the veal. :)


    <doing a wave>
  • Tercob
    Tercob Posts: 151 Member
    Age makes no difference

    That's what I kept telling the judge, now I have to register with the police every time I move to a new house. :noway:




    No you didn't lol
  • av8artist
    av8artist Posts: 46
    Let me try that again.I would be very unhappy if someone my age was dating my daughter! Whenever I meet her new boyfriends, I always pull them aside and warn them I would have no problem going back to prison for 10 years if the do something to hurt her.
  • Tercob
    Tercob Posts: 151 Member
    Let me try that again.I would be very unhappy if someone my age was dating my daughter! Whenever I meet her new boyfriends, I always pull them aside and warn them I would have no problem going back to prison for 10 years if the do something to hurt her.



    Thats love daddy!
  • Louisianababy93
    Louisianababy93 Posts: 1,709 Member
    im just sayin.

    the 30-40 crowd is looks way better these days then the 20-25 crowd..

    i mean hot damn those older guys are yummy.. Well the ones i know.
  • mississippi_queen
    mississippi_queen Posts: 474 Member
    So there's this guy at work that I'm really into. My roommate recently met him at a work function, and commented that she thinks it's reciprocal. I have no idea - I can never tell when a guy is flirting with me. I would normally just ask him if he wants to hang out, except in this case he is about fifteen years older than me, and I've no idea what's appropriate in this situation. Is that too big a gap? Will he just think I'm a stupid child? We were hanging out tonight at a function, and after a couple drinks he got a little touchy...but does that mean he likes me? I'm hopeless!

    I'm 28 and he is 42. So guys, what would you think if a 28 year old hit on you?

    I'd say just go for it. I mean even if he does have a problem with the age difference, i"m sure he'd be flattered. And what's the worst he can tell you? No? And if you don't then you'll never know. Just go for it!
  • FallingInLoveWithMe
    FallingInLoveWithMe Posts: 92 Member
    i luv old guys

    theyre never serious tho

    just have fun
  • 2credneck208
    2credneck208 Posts: 501 Member
    My husband is 12 years older than me and it works great for us. I think the gap is only a big deal if its someone with little life experience. And I'm sure he wouldn't have a problem with a 28 y/o hitting on him, what man would ....lol! Good luck!
  • Show_Stopper
    Show_Stopper Posts: 656 Member
    Heres the deal age matters if you want different things in life ( you want kids still he doesn't ect) However with that being said It can work my boyfriend is 42 and I'm 27 so I know where you are with this

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