Spousal Cheaters?

WVmom24 · March 2013

I don't think so, really. Maybe under EXTREME circumstances that usually never happen...like if you thought your spouse was dead for years, or if you were date rape drugged or something, lol. But usually, nah. Move on. Of course I'm the type that I believe in open relationships...I acknowledge that just because I love someone and they love me doesn't mean we aren't attracted to others. I think it's hot, in fact. So maybe I'm a bit biased. Deception is the key term....and no I don't think it's forgivable. How many people REALLY only cheat ONCE? .01% of them? It's just not worth the risk to see if you have a diamond in the rough on your hands.

matchbox_girl · March 2013

He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.

I don't know though....

usernameMAMA · March 2013

Not a chance in this world. For me personally, even if it was a one time deal (which it rarely ever is) I wouldn't be able to get pass the suspicion any time he was late or with his friends or alone with another woman. It wouldn't be worth the stress. Better to move on and start with a clean slate.

etoiles_argentees · March 2013

No.

weightedfootsteps · March 2013

I'd say neither are worth your time. If a friend did that to me, they wouldn't be my friend any longer..no matter what you've been through together..Obviously she doesn't feel as much about you as you do her. For the future husband..kick his sorry butt out of your life. The way I see it once a cheater always a cheater.

I will say..I have stayed single for a very long time. The father of my two girls cheated and lied to me so much that I didn't trust any man for a long time. I'm still single. Not because I can't trust anyone, its because I haven't found anyone worth my time. Hopefully one day that will change.

matchbox_girl · March 2013

You can forgive him, but I wouldn't recommend marrying him.

Yeah, think twice about that. What does he give as an excuse? Was he drunk? In love? He proposed in december and 3-4 months later he cheats!? What happened in between?

He was very drunk. And this "friend" of mine was a woman he'd had feelings for before we started dating. Within the last few months this girl would get drunk with us and then ask my fiance why it had never worked out between them. The last time she did that she thought I was asleep and he said, "I would really prefer to not talk about this. I'm with Amber now and I love her." After he cheated a few months later, he admitted that when she started asking those stupid questions, "conflicting feelings" arose. But once it was done he made the choice to work it out with me....I have no idea what to think about all of it.

sleepygirl38 · March 2013

I think it depends on when it happens in your relationship. If he just proposed in December and then cheated, I would hold off on marrying him. I believe it is up to what you want and if you feel he is worth waiting for him to grow up a tad bit. I would put the wedding on hold and try to work though your feelings first and then see where you want to go from there. But if he is not willing to put the effort in then its not worth it. Also you and him both need to immediately ditch the friend cause she always going to be drama from here on out.

My hubby never cheated but there was a girl who moved in with his parents because she was interested in him. After a year she got the hint and grew up and moved out. However, I made it clear just cause she was a family friend, I could not deal with her at our wedding because I would be focused on her and not my husband. She is always a sour sport when I see her and this is why I suggest you both ditch your friend asap and make it clear to her what she did was wrong and can no longer be apart of your life

iulia_maddie · March 2013

He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.

I don't know though....

So she gets cut out of your life, but he doesn't? They are both equally guilty. Maybe him even more so, since he was the one who was engaged.
Also, he's frisky when he's drunk and ends up sleeping with other people. Did he give up drinking too? It's very likely that there will be other girls around next time he gets drunk.

JJordon · March 2013

Always been a true believer in the notion that alcohol doesn't make us into a different person, just shows our base nature, our true colors, if you will.

No wonder I don't drink...

poedunk65 · March 2013

I raelly don;t think this is the place for something like this.

CherokeeBabe · March 2013

Nope. Drop him ASAP. "He was drunk" is an excuse. Even when drunk, a person should face the consequences of their actions, it doesn't make them exempt from responsibility after the fact. Is he going to never drink again for the rest of his life? I kind of doubt it. You can't trust him anymore, so what's the point?

SummerNights32 · March 2013

I believe that cheating can be forgiven...one time. I have never cheated, but I have been cheated on, and the anger I kept inside was so much worse than finally forgiving him. I will say this...once a person has cheated and knows they can get away with it, they have a very high chance of doing it again. I was with my boyfriend for a year when he cheated, and I didn't talk to him for an entire year. When I finally gave him another chance, things seemed perfect for the next three years, until I found out he was up to his old tricks...he just hid it better.

You are so young, so please don't fall in to the trap of feeling like you have to marry this guy because of your weight. You can find better, and you will if you allow yourself. Just imagine saying "I do" while thinking in the back of your head that he cheated on you. Certainly do not get married yet, if you choose to still marry him. And in all honesty. just because he called your ex friend in front of you, that doesn't mean he is sorry. They are both to blame, so dont let him off the hook that easy.

AlbaAngel25 · March 2013

No... it would always be in the back of my head, and no one should live a life like that!

matchbox_girl · March 2013

He was drunk, she was drunk, now he has cut her from his life, as have I. He called her on the phone while I was there and said that he wanted nothing more than to work it out with me, but that he would not be able to associate with her anymore. Then he hung up, blocked her on Facebook, and deleted her number.

I don't know though....

So she gets cut out of your life, but he doesn't? They are both equally guilty. Maybe him even more so, since he was the one who was engaged.
Also, he's frisky when he's drunk and ends up sleeping with other people. Did he give up drinking too? It's very likely that there will be other girls around next time he gets drunk.

Yes, he gave up drinking, too. Happily.