Beautiful Best Friend

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  • SlickFootAnna
    SlickFootAnna Posts: 611 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    WTF??? I gave you good advice.

    Pshhhhhhhhhhhhhh whatevs.

    I'm offended. That's what I get for being nice. I get called a "troll"


    OFFENNNDDEEEDDDDDDD
  • _noob_
    _noob_ Posts: 3,306 Member
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    I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.

    meh, I'd go after you just make her jealous and thus more vulnerable to my charms.
  • markymarrkk
    markymarrkk Posts: 495 Member
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    If it makes you feel any better, I would totally smash you. and your friend. at the same time.

    not that I'm your type or anything, just sayin.
  • pawnstarNate
    pawnstarNate Posts: 1,728 Member
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    Just ask her on a date and be done with the insecurities :happy:
  • Laurayinz
    Laurayinz Posts: 909 Member
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    Here's a cliche: beauty is only skin deep. yeah most of us are here to improve our skin and what's under it, but true friendship needs to go beyond that. She doesn't see you as beneath her looks, or at least it doesn't matter to her as much as it apparently does you.

    So while many of us are still a physical work in progress, here's something to keep in mind:
    You're so mean when you talk about yourself, you were wrong. Change the voices in your head. Make them like you instead. --Pink
    :flowerforyou:
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

    Totally not trolling, I think you need to work on your self confidence. I looked at your profile pics and you are not an ugly person - you are quite pretty actually. The people may be drawn to her because she is radiant with confidence and self worth, along with being pretty and smart etc.


    I know from experience you draw in people with confidence - males and females like confident people, they do not want to tell anyone that they are worthy, once and a while is good but if you have a low self esteem or are less confident (not saying you are but this post really reads that you may be) they may feel you will need constant reassurance and that gets very tiring.

    I say work on self love, and beign confident and you will be ahead of the game - honest!

    Don't let the forums get to you, some times the "bad things" are just people who are trying to be funny/or give advice but they are not eloquent with words and the haha or advice comes across as not so nice.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    My best friend from age 15 - when she moved down here she was this tall girl who dressed like a dude (it was the 90s, we all wore baggy pants and oversized shirts...real sexy) and then the next year, she's modeling.

    MODELING

    She's tall, exotic looking, especially standing next to my white bread with mayo lookin' self, speaks 2 languages, had to teach me how to wear heels, apply makeup, and hold chopsticks. Everywhere we went, it was all about her. I'm like 5'2, she's 5'7 and she'd wear HEELS so I looked like a small child following a celebrity. We ate for free, got into clubs, hung out with people ...I don't even know why they were important, but they were wealthy. She dated a famous baseball player (who -it turns out- was married oops!) An artist did a painting of her and then we went to the gallery when they were showing his work. I had just had a baby (I was 19 then) so I never felt homlier in my life. I remember thinking, "holy *kitten*, why is she hanging out with me?"

    Just telling you all of this because of that last thought. She never looked at me the way I looked at myself. She always saw me as her equal, and she treated me that way. None of my friends love me the way she does. She left the set of a movie to come be with me while I delivered my 1st son. She's such a wonderful person. She's still my best friend 20 years later. She thinks I'm the smartest person, and knows she can talk to me when she needs encouragement. I'm happy for all that she achieved when we were young. She went to school, she traveled. She won Miss Peru back in the 90s. She was also in an awful car accident that pretty much changed everything. She is thankful to have had those experiences, because life is way different now.

    So, I'm saying - be good to your best friend. She will probably stick around forever. Learn to play up what you have. Let her help you if she's inclined to. Be happy that you're her friend, and don't ever think of dropping her over how you think she has more. One day you'll both be old ladies laughing about how she got you into everything for free. ....or about how you both ripped off a psychic (really, he should've seen it coming).
  • oregonzoo
    oregonzoo Posts: 4,251 Member
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    Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
    If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.
    I'm sorry you feel that way, but it's highly inaccurate. You got a lot of very good and honest advice in this thread.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
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    FireEngineRed:

    It's hard to live in the shadow of others. If it bothers you so much, maybe you need to do some hanging out with another set of friends that you do not feel so inferior to. It will help boost your confidence. I would not discard your old friend, but maybe you need some space to come out of your shell on your own.

    All I can say from your pictures is that you are prettier than most women. Any guy would be proud to have a girl that looked as good as you do.

    As I age, I realize two things: We aren't all super models, and we all succumb to old age anyway.

    Revel in your youth. You are beautiful.
  • infamousmk
    infamousmk Posts: 6,033 Member
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    Hey, OP, I'm sorry you feel bad. Please seek out counseling so you can feel good.
  • yo_andi
    yo_andi Posts: 2,178 Member
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    You're gorgeous. Get over yourself. I can guarantee you she has insecurities about herself around you too. It's human nature.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
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    My ex, now on of my best friends, looks like an underwear model and has a fun, out going personality. I developed a serious complex when I was with him and broke up with him because I couldn't hang. Then he contracted meningitis and nearly died -- and suddenly I was helping him go to the bathroom. In those moments I realized how incredibly stupid I'd been.

    You lack nothing. Your best friend is a person with flaws and faults just like you -- you just don't see them because you're not her. Just know that she could be gone tomorrow, so don't waste time coming up with ways you don't measure up.
  • Tatiyanya
    Tatiyanya Posts: 255 Member
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    My best friend is male..and I do find him beautiful but it never sort of became a problem. Our target demographic is different.
    He does make me feel beautifull and confortable with my body. I like to think I make him feel the same way.

    Don't let your insecurities affect your relation with other people, treat your friends rather than beautifull souls than competition :3

    Friends are a gift, true friends are true gift, and best friend is like..it's like everyday christmass gift
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    See I dont mind being the fat fugly friend. I've gotten used to it over the years. I actually befriend the more attractive people at work provided they have a great and funny personality. I guess I dont mind being on the sidelines and invisible. If you love your friend you will accept her beauty and just appreciate that such a gorgeous creature is willing to be your friend and the fun times it usually brings. Think left overs. Otherwise, stop talking to her and be a catty woman like so many other women are to her.
  • micheabr
    micheabr Posts: 72
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    Why do people keep saying if you feel threatened she isn't really your best friend? I pretty sure its normal as a female to be a bit insecure. I think being on this site and starting to look the way you want will do TONS for your confidence. Once you feel better about yourself, you won't really notice the attention she gets, and you'll probably notice that you get it too. Chin up! :)
  • foreverjade
    foreverjade Posts: 213 Member
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    Listen, I have been (or still am) in the same shoes as you. My BFF is absolutely beautiful, with or without makeup, boys love her and she is an absolute sweetheart. She is charming and charismatic and people gravitate towards her. In our years of friendship have there been many times where I have been like "dude, look at ME!" of course. Can I count the number of times I wanted attention from a guy and she got it instead? not even close. I can't even describe the shock and disbelief of being noticed or chosen over her.

    All this being said, would I ever stop being friends with her? Not for anything in the world. She's my best friend. I hang out with her because she's awesome, not to pick up boys or get attention. Our friendship is about each other, not about random strangers. Who cares? If you want to go out and pick up, and you know you will be unsuccessful with her, then go with someone else (although there is something to be said about having more hot guys around bc they want to be near her)! That doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with her!!!! Hang out with her because you love her not because other people do.

    Moral of the story: Just 'cause you're the "prettier one" doesn't mean you are or will be the happy, content one.

    Wow. Yup!
    Best words of wisdom I have seen on this thread. I love my BFF, she is beautiful and amazing. Would I trade lives with her? Not for an instant.
  • Harmoman
    Harmoman Posts: 42 Member
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    I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

    *Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.

    I think you SHOULD hang out with her... You should be around people that you want to be like. (on all levels... and not just physical) hope it helps!
  • HeelsAndBoxingGloves
    HeelsAndBoxingGloves Posts: 916 Member
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    I used to feel that way when I was hanging out with my friends until I grew my own self-esteem and learned that we were all gorgeous in our own ways. Turned out once I gained that confidence one of the so called best friends turned and shut me out of her life because "I had changed" be grateful you have a best friend and keep working on you so you won't continue to feel jealous of her.

    Also - you are gorgeous and the guys that want you will choose you over her.
  • BigDaddyRonnie
    BigDaddyRonnie Posts: 506 Member
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    I was/am the male version of you. I have some friends that always, ALWAYS attracted the women. The guys were built, had the "look," always getting the comments and the approach and I was left there awkward. My one buddy was chiseled, a power lifter, a football player, a stunt man, had the physique that I wished I had. He was natural, and I was working on it. The good news is I never got his "seconds" because I learned to stand on my own. I had standards.

    When it came down to it, and as I look back at those times, I never had a problem meeting people. They didn't cramp my style because I was confident. I wasn't a "ladies man" but I never had a problem getting a date. I had my heart broken, and I broke a few hearts too. And as days passed, I learned from a few people (mostly women) that they approached him because he was "easier." There was one that wanted to speak to me, but chose him in hopes of me speaking up. But man-code prevailed, and I didn't. I never allowed myself to feel like the fat ugly guy. Some days it was tough, but it worked.

    Think positive and confident. You many not know the impact you are having on her, or them.
  • _Pseudonymous_
    _Pseudonymous_ Posts: 1,671 Member
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    Don't tear her down with your insecurity, build yourself up to equal her beauty or outshine her beauty. Even if she is amazing you are amazing too! Why else would she be friends with you?

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