Beautiful Best Friend

My ex, now on of my best friends, looks like an underwear model and has a fun, out going personality. I developed a serious complex when I was with him and broke up with him because I couldn't hang. Then he contracted meningitis and nearly died -- and suddenly I was helping him go to the bathroom. In those moments I realized how incredibly stupid I'd been.

You lack nothing. Your best friend is a person with flaws and faults just like you -- you just don't see them because you're not her. Just know that she could be gone tomorrow, so don't waste time coming up with ways you don't measure up.

See I dont mind being the fat fugly friend. I've gotten used to it over the years. I actually befriend the more attractive people at work provided they have a great and funny personality. I guess I dont mind being on the sidelines and invisible. If you love your friend you will accept her beauty and just appreciate that such a gorgeous creature is willing to be your friend and the fun times it usually brings. Think left overs. Otherwise, stop talking to her and be a catty woman like so many other women are to her.

Listen, I have been (or still am) in the same shoes as you. My BFF is absolutely beautiful, with or without makeup, boys love her and she is an absolute sweetheart. She is charming and charismatic and people gravitate towards her. In our years of friendship have there been many times where I have been like "dude, look at ME!" of course. Can I count the number of times I wanted attention from a guy and she got it instead? not even close. I can't even describe the shock and disbelief of being noticed or chosen over her.

All this being said, would I ever stop being friends with her? Not for anything in the world. She's my best friend. I hang out with her because she's awesome, not to pick up boys or get attention. Our friendship is about each other, not about random strangers. Who cares? If you want to go out and pick up, and you know you will be unsuccessful with her, then go with someone else (although there is something to be said about having more hot guys around bc they want to be near her)! That doesn't mean you have to stop being friends with her!!!! Hang out with her because you love her not because other people do.

Moral of the story: Just 'cause you're the "prettier one" doesn't mean you are or will be the happy, content one.

Wow. Yup!
Best words of wisdom I have seen on this thread. I love my BFF, she is beautiful and amazing. Would I trade lives with her? Not for an instant.

I used to feel that way when I was hanging out with my friends until I grew my own self-esteem and learned that we were all gorgeous in our own ways. Turned out once I gained that confidence one of the so called best friends turned and shut me out of her life because "I had changed" be grateful you have a best friend and keep working on you so you won't continue to feel jealous of her.

Also - you are gorgeous and the guys that want you will choose you over her.

Don't tear her down with your insecurity, build yourself up to equal her beauty or outshine her beauty. Even if she is amazing you are amazing too! Why else would she be friends with you?

Everything I post on this site leads to bad things, so I'm going to stop.
If anyone gives really good advice and doesn't troll about crap, I'd love to be friends.

Wow. You have gotten SOOOOO much support on this thread, and THAT'S how you respond?

WOW.

I was really feeling for you until I read that.

Like so many others here, I too have a best friend who looked awesome. She made every man think about sex and children with her hands down. And she wasn´t a skinny one, she had curves, personality, intelligence and a great sence of homour. She had it all, like you said. And I was the one stopped on the street by strangers, telling me how ugly I was. No kidding! But she desperatly needed me as a friend. I was "the wind beneath her wings"... (I can´t believe I just said that.)

I was the one always getting her out of trouble for her beatuy, because all kinds of creeps wouldn´t leave her alone. A guy in her block started stalking her- seriously stalking her! Once he cutted himself to write letters to her with his blood, "to show her how much he loved her". He was a sick sick person and she was scared to death. She was without doubt the beautiful one, the sexy one, the smart one, the funny one, the popular one- but I was the strong one!! I was the one standing in the middle of the night for hours and talking him down, when he wanted to brake down her door. I was the one who physically went between them to protect her. And finally I was the one taking her hand and taking her to the police and report him. She says that I was the one keeping her sane. That I have saved her life.

Being beautiful isn´t necerssarily fun. Maybe it makes her feel very insecure. Maybe the attention she gets is unwanted. Maybe she feels it like a pressure, never being able to just be herself without being judged by the girls and drooled over by the guys. She needs you!! You´re probably the one person that she trust. Maybe she´s lonely, people not looking past her look and liking her for her personality. If your problem makes her cry, then she really loves you and probably feels awfull that you feel like this. But she can´t change her look.

And my best friend? She broke down and is very sick today because of two years of terror caused by her beauty. I´m not making this up! Please don´t let your friend down. Yes, she sees something in you, that she needs. You have something that she don´t. And I could kill for a body like yours...! There´s always something other have, that you can desire.

Take care of yourself.

If you are dead serious about pictures message me. I'm not going to post them here on fear she'll see it (not like she needs to lose weight) >.<
But i'd appreciate you not messaging me back like "OH NOW I GET IT! YOU LOOK HIDEOUS NEXT TO HER!"


I have talked to her about this, in long deep crying best friend conversation. She cried, because she doesn't want me to feel that way. Neither of us can help it, I guess. I AM insecure, that doesn't mean that if I had all the confidence in the world that this situation still wouldn't be hurtful.

I feel really sorry for you. You clearly see her as a threat. I bet if the roles were reversed, you wouldn't be feeling sorry for your 'friend'...must be bad for you that your friend , who hasn't wronged you in any way is resented by you.

If it makes you feel any better she probably isn't as attractive as you think, it's probably your own projection.

actually, she probably is.
I have a close friend like that.
part of her attraction is that she isn't all stuck up and vain about it.

I love her. she doesn't threaten me at all, and she has the worst taste in men!!!!
:laugh:

If you are dead serious about pictures message me. I'm not going to post them here on fear she'll see it (not like she needs to lose weight) >.<
But i'd appreciate you not messaging me back like "OH NOW I GET IT! YOU LOOK HIDEOUS NEXT TO HER!"


I have talked to her about this, in long deep crying best friend conversation. She cried, because she doesn't want me to feel that way. Neither of us can help it, I guess. I AM insecure, that doesn't mean that if I had all the confidence in the world that this situation still wouldn't be hurtful.

Uhm . . yeah. I'd like some pictures of your fine friend to evaluate as well.

Are you actually considering handing out pictures of your "best friend"?

I'm not sure why everyone is comforting. reassuring, and complimenting the OP, she sounds like a really ***** friend to me.

Sounds like SHE needs a new best friends.

I have plenty of friends who are absolutely gorgeous, and sweet, and kind, and totally awesome which is why I'm friends with them. Sure sometimes I feel inadequate next to them but I'm not jealous of how they look and would never not want to be friends with them just because they are prettier than me.

I have had one best friend my whole life. She is it. And she is GORGEOUS. Like jaw-droppingly gorgeous. And of course, I'm jealous. We go out together, I take hours to get ready, she pops out of the shower, wet hair, not makeup, sweatpants, and STILL everyone looks at her and wants her. Don't get me wrong, I DO NOT BLAME THEM. My problem is, should I hang around her even though I feel like crap about myself when I do?

*Let me add in real quick, she is super smart, and really really talented, so I'm screwed on all levels.

She pops out of the shower with sweatpants? :noway: Rest assured, she's not as smart as you think she is.

i had a beautiful best friend, she was my bestie since grade 5. so about 13 years.
she was skinny, but she could eat 8 pieces of pizza or 3 big macs in one sitting. but she wasn't very beautiful inside. she constantly made fun of fat people, constantly mentioned my weight, always made me feel bad, always had sex with guys i liked. at bars she would show me up by taking any guy i showed interest in, and she would rub it in my face.

last year i decided i didn't need her in my life, and completely stopped texting her, or replying to her texts/phone calls.

best decision in my life.
but when i think about her, i have a bunch of pent up rage. i'm slowly trying to get over how much she took advantage of me.

you should have found the worst, dirtiest, slimiest ***hole on the planet and pretended to fall in love with him!

but on a more serious note, you might want to consider therapy. Holding onto that much bitterness so much later is not healthy.

i had a beautiful best friend, she was my bestie since grade 5. so about 13 years.
she was skinny, but she could eat 8 pieces of pizza or 3 big macs in one sitting. but she wasn't very beautiful inside. she constantly made fun of fat people, constantly mentioned my weight, always made me feel bad, always had sex with guys i liked. at bars she would show me up by taking any guy i showed interest in, and she would rub it in my face.

last year i decided i didn't need her in my life, and completely stopped texting her, or replying to her texts/phone calls.

best decision in my life.
but when i think about her, i have a bunch of pent up rage. i'm slowly trying to get over how much she took advantage of me.

you should have found the worst, dirtiest, slimiest ***hole on the planet and pretended to fall in love with him!

but on a more serious note, you might want to consider therapy. Holding onto that much bitterness so much later is not healthy.

it's only been about a year, the rage is subsiding a little each time i think of her lol. i think it's all the things i've been dying to say to her but never could. and there's no point of saying them anyway, it would only bring up old stuff. and she would just play victim or try to turn it around on me.

maybe you should at least write her a letter saying all those things and burn it?
a year is a long time to hold a grudge, and you need to get it out and be done with it.

i had a beautiful best friend, she was my bestie since grade 5. so about 13 years.
she was skinny, but she could eat 8 pieces of pizza or 3 big macs in one sitting. but she wasn't very beautiful inside. she constantly made fun of fat people, constantly mentioned my weight, always made me feel bad, always had sex with guys i liked. at bars she would show me up by taking any guy i showed interest in, and she would rub it in my face.

last year i decided i didn't need her in my life, and completely stopped texting her, or replying to her texts/phone calls.

best decision in my life.
but when i think about her, i have a bunch of pent up rage. i'm slowly trying to get over how much she took advantage of me.

you should have found the worst, dirtiest, slimiest ***hole on the planet and pretended to fall in love with him!

but on a more serious note, you might want to consider therapy. Holding onto that much bitterness so much later is not healthy.

it's only been about a year, the rage is subsiding a little each time i think of her lol. i think it's all the things i've been dying to say to her but never could. and there's no point of saying them anyway, it would only bring up old stuff. and she would just play victim or try to turn it around on me.

maybe you should at least write her a letter saying all those things and burn it?
a year is a long time to hold a grudge, and you need to get it out and be done with it.

you could be right. 13 years of abuse would upset anyone for awhile i think. even her mom would say really mean things to me.
i hate to say it, but the only time i wanna see her is when i lose my weight so i can see her face. she loved the fact that i was the fat best friend. it's shallow and petty but whatever, it'll make me happy lol

it's like the person who bullies you in highschool. you wanna see their face when they see how far you've come.