Ladies, should a man be the only one to pursue?

245

Replies

  • christabel6
    christabel6 Posts: 173 Member
    As a feminist I believe that equality means women should do some of the uncomfortable stuff sometimes and not just leave it to the men, so I have asked men out or made the first move on a number of occasions.

    Have to say that a lot of men react very badly to this! They really don't like it at all, responses range from very rarely being positive to more often not knowing how the hell to respond politely, to occasionally behaving as if that gives them licence to treat you like dirt. So despite my ethics I stick to being friendly and encouraging but no more, if I really want to get to know a man for more than one night.
  • fly_butterfly
    fly_butterfly Posts: 35 Member
    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.
  • NicoleisQuantized
    NicoleisQuantized Posts: 344 Member
    Absolute nonsense. Men and women are equals, and are thus equally capable of pursuing the opposite sex.
  • CaliforniaSweetheart
    CaliforniaSweetheart Posts: 989
    No. If I see something I want, I will simply take it.
  • MrsVal03
    MrsVal03 Posts: 174 Member
    Hi, I am shy and I sit in the corner alone and people watch..... creepy, right???

    if I had the courage... I'd wear more red lipstick and take off in pursuit.... but, i'm a loser... so, I'll just continue sitting in the corner...
  • sizzle74
    sizzle74 Posts: 858 Member
    Personally I was never one to make the first move. But I know how to get a guy who is interested to do it. :)
  • Jenny775
    Jenny775 Posts: 108 Member
    Don't agree! If I see something I like, I'll go after it. Or at least let him know I'm interested.



    ^^^ This
  • sweetzoejane
    sweetzoejane Posts: 153 Member
    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.

    I've never "chased" men either. I've told them that I am interested in them, and if they aren't interested in me, then I decide if we would just make good friends or nothing at all. I don't continue to "chase" them. Then again, I've never had a shortage of men who have been interested in me, so it hasn't been a big deal. I'm freaking awesome, I have high standards, so I just can't understand the concept of continuing to go after someone who doesn't want you.

    I'm also really shy and definitely an introvert, but I'm also really honest and hate playing games.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    BUT, it's a much bigger turn on to be pursued. I think when a guy is really interested, he will go after what he wants.

    ^^This. Not that's it's a turn on... but a man will always go after what they want. I don't want to "chase" a man who "may" want me.

    Fine.
    I don't want to "chase" a woman who "may" want me.
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
    I pursued my man...hard. He married my crazy *kitten* too. :D
  • BrendaLee
    BrendaLee Posts: 4,463 Member
    If you want something to happen, you have to let him know you're interested. I don't think "pursue" is the right word.

    ___


    pur·sue
    /pərˈso͞o/
    Verb

    Follow (someone or something) to catch or attack them.
    Seek to form a sexual relationship with (someone) in a persistent way.

    Synonyms
    follow - chase - hunt - prosecute - track

    ___


    Kinda sounds like fun, though.
  • TylerJ76
    TylerJ76 Posts: 4,375 Member
    I pursued my man...hard. He married my crazy *kitten* too. :D

    Not real sure what he was thinking there...
    :huh: :huh:
  • BoomstickChick
    BoomstickChick Posts: 428 Member
    I think most women prefer to not make the first move. I know I don't like to, but we live in 2013. Why can't a woman make the move if she wants to?
  • RhonndaJ
    RhonndaJ Posts: 1,615 Member
    No. If you really want something go get it. How silly to sit there and wait for a man to pursue you.

    This.
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    I pursued my man...hard. He married my crazy *kitten* too. :D

    I'd be afraid.
  • DavPul
    DavPul Posts: 61,406 Member
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif
  • JessicaZen
    JessicaZen Posts: 149 Member
    we are in a modern day and back in the day I pursued whoever and whatever I wanted for what I wanted Spyder and I were different we became best friends before we started dating and that was even aftewr I moved in with him 3 weeks after I moved in we started dating so it works both ways I guess but women should pursue what they want.
  • amber0600
    amber0600 Posts: 13 Member
    In all the years I knew my husband I had never seen him chase a woman. He had set rules she needed to be his equal. So when I could stand up I pursued him. Been together 4 years now
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    Pursuit is not the same as First Move.

    First move? It is very sexy when a woman makes the first move even if it is to give the OK for the guy to pursue her.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    I think most women prefer to not make the first move. I know I don't like to, but we live in 2013. Why can't a woman make the move if she wants to?

    I think a woman can and should make the first move if she see something she wants! It's just a matter of preference, really. I've done both, but I prefer when the man steps up. It's the romantic in me I guess! :-)
  • mgmlap
    mgmlap Posts: 1,377 Member
    I pursued my husband for 7 months...till he finally gave in...there are times when male/female gender roles should be thrown out...and these are one of those times...Married 9 years..!
  • TheStephil
    TheStephil Posts: 858 Member
    I pursued my current boyfriend two years ago and he was extremely happy I did so. He was unsure if I was into him or not and was scared of being rejected.
  • PRMinx
    PRMinx Posts: 4,585 Member
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Thank you. :flowerforyou:

    P.S. I'm stealing the term "harshing my mellow" because I LOL'd.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
    "Why must I be like that? Why must I chase the cat? ...nothing but the DOG in me..."

    ^^^Not sure why that jam came to mind. But I've always liked being the CAT! I've never been the persuer.

    ETA: I was not into my husband when we first started hooking up. He was supposed to be a one nighter. I guess I impressed him and he went into full blown possesive mode. He won me over :love:
  • _DaniD_
    _DaniD_ Posts: 2,186 Member
    I would rather be pursued, but would pursue .
  • mrphil86
    mrphil86 Posts: 2,382 Member
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    Epic pwn.
  • Alex_is_Hawks
    Alex_is_Hawks Posts: 3,499 Member
    Yes women should persue men. Now if we could only get them to actually do it for reasons that aren't completely shallow and superficial. Good luck with that though!

    dude, for reals, is there ANY subject about interactions between men and women that you won't throw a wet blanket on? i don't know what that chick did to you, but you got your bitterness dialed to 11, and it's harshing my mellow.

    everybody gets hurt at some point, you just have to learn to

    vm68MUJ.gif

    This....you seriously walk around any more emo and you're gonna cut yourself on your computer screen...

    jeez dude.
  • toomuchbootyindapants
    toomuchbootyindapants Posts: 811 Member
    I pursued my man...hard. He married my crazy *kitten* too. :D

    Not real sure what he was thinking there...
    :huh: :huh:

    I didn't give him time to think...muahahaha....I said MINE! And I made him MINE! ALLL MINE! :P
  • NormInv
    NormInv Posts: 3,303 Member
    I pursued my man...hard. He married my crazy *kitten* too. :D

    Not real sure what he was thinking there...
    :huh: :huh:

    I didn't give him time to think...muahahaha....I said MINE! And I made him MINE! ALLL MINE! :P

    Call that crazy but its also hot.
  • Deadra78
    Deadra78 Posts: 33
    I dont think there is ANYTHING wrong with a woman going after what she wants - AS LONG as she knows the difference between pursuit and stalking! LOL Just sayin!

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