Advise me please
Options
So... my 3 year old son's fish died today after only a month... not sure why, but its definately dead. I'm taking a poll... which do you think I should do:
Option 1) Flush the fish now and not bring attention to the missing fish and bowl when he gets home
Option 2) Wait until he gets home and tell him and have him help lay it to rest
Option 3) Buy another similiar looking fish and replace it before he gets home
Note: I understand that Option 2 is the most mature way to approach it... but there may be meltdown consequenses.
Vote please!:flowerforyou:
Option 1) Flush the fish now and not bring attention to the missing fish and bowl when he gets home
Option 2) Wait until he gets home and tell him and have him help lay it to rest
Option 3) Buy another similiar looking fish and replace it before he gets home
Note: I understand that Option 2 is the most mature way to approach it... but there may be meltdown consequenses.
Vote please!:flowerforyou:
0
Replies
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Option 2. Kids deal with this pretty well. Then go get a new one with him. Tell him that he can still love the dead one, but he can also love a new one.
My kids would call BS on me if I didn't go with option 2.0 -
I vote 2, 1 doesn't offer closure at all, try 3 and he might realize something has changed. My cat got ran over when I was 6 and my mom lied to me, told me it ran away. I found out later she had lied and I was upset.0
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2.
It's sad that you even have to ask..0 -
Option four. Tell him he killed the fish and he can't have any pets until he is an adult.0
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2
Or 4 as previously mentioned is excellent!0 -
Been there. Done that. Option 2, definitely. The earlier to introduce your children to reality, the better.0
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Option 3. He's 3 year's old people save the life lesson's for the next fish.0
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Option 2.
My dad has killed several of my 4 year old brother's fish. He just wants a new one each time it happens. He still tells everyone that "crazy eyes" died like it's NBD.
Edit to add: one of the cats also was run over and killed recently. He handled it fine. He still talks about the cat and how he is in Heaven.0 -
Option 2.
I have 2 girls ages 7 & 4. We've unfortunately have had some animal deaths in our family recently between a horse colicking, our dog having cancer and a fish. They've definitely dealt much better with the deaths when they were able to say their goodbyes, they weren't able to with the horse but were fully prepared the night we put our dog down.0 -
2. My kids always take their fish dying pretty well, and are always excited to go pick out a new one. Get a sturdier fish this time though!0
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# 2, it's never too early to learn a valuable life lesson0
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Option 2 for sure. Honesty is always best. We must lead by example.0
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Oh my; I used to have a meltdown when anything died, including the baby birds that fell out of their nest that I put in a box in the garage and the lightning bugs I caught and put into a jar. Although I'd be tempted to go with #3 (he has plenty of time to get used to the harsh realities of living and dying), I think the right answer would be #2.0
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Option four. Tell him he killed the fish and he can't have any pets until he is an adult.
tsk tsk0 -
WOW obviously the option four people don't have kids!! (RUDE)
Anyway, DEF option 2. This happened to my son's fish. And we did it together. He literally forgot about it within a few hours. We never got a new one, though. But if you want to take him and get a replacement, certainly do so. The more upfront and honest you are with him in the early ages, the more of a mature adult he will become.
Good luck!0 -
My ex wasn't ready to deal with the fact that his sons hedgehog died. So he put him in a plastic container, taped it all up, marked it "Dad's please do not touch" and put it in the freezer.
I, being the respectful girlfriend, did not touch and moved that carton through two house moves. Finally after it being in the freezer for 3 years, I got nosy (shame on me) and opened it up.
I promptly screamed....which brought the kids running....
and then we had to deal with the whole
OMG THAT'S where Pixel went!!!! You said he ran away Dad!!!
and the crying...holy hell the crying....
so I would say option two.0 -
My mother did option #3 when my dad died.0
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Option 2 is the best -also good way to introduce a life lesson here. I have an almost 3 year old with her own fish tank. I understand where your coming from so if you don't want to deal with it a replacement fish acceptable also. But I think I would do number 2 then take her to pick out another fish.
PS. if you need advice on keeping fish let me know. I am kind of a fish nerd!0 -
So... my 3 year old son's fish died today after only a month... not sure why, but its definately dead. I'm taking a poll... which do you think I should do:
Option 1) Flush the fish now and not bring attention to the missing fish and bowl when he gets home
Option 2) Wait until he gets home and tell him and have him help lay it to rest
Option 3) Buy another similiar looking fish and replace it before he gets home
Note: I understand that Option 2 is the most mature way to approach it... but there may be meltdown consequenses.
Vote please!:flowerforyou:
If you already know what the most mature way of dealing with a situation is, why let the threat of a melt-down steer you from taking that action?
I can (sometimes) understand the fear of a melt-down when in public - restaurant, car, etc. - postponing until home. But you are home. Deal with the situation in the way you already know is right. Don't let your child's reaction (or your fear of his reaction) be an excuse.0 -
He wont understand death other than the fish is gone. Option #3.
Why my kids were around the age of 8 & 10 their animals died and one of them died while they were holding it. I had to leave work. It was traumatizing and I swear my daughter now has PTSD over the event now that she is 21.
I also let a fish die when they were young and its mouth was left open and my daughter hates fish now and thinks I starved the fish to death, which I did. Not on purpose. So be careful of what you decide.0
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