I just can't manage 1200 cats a day

135

Replies

  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    I was going to suggest juicing your cats, and drinking them, but someone already hit that one.

    Now, I don't know if you caught the thread this past weekend. There has been some very cutting edge science published exclusively on MFP. It showed that an egg is a potential chicken, so eating an egg would result in you consuming the calories you would get from eating an entire chicken. Eggs are gametes, and so are sperm. Therefore, faux logic would predict that the same would hold true to the sperm (another gamete).

    Apparently, you should eat only the male cats. Each male cat has thousands of sperm, each of which is a potential new cat. So, by eating one male cat, you also are eating all of his progeny, and can have your 1200 (if not more) all at once.

    UmpOi.gif

    Hm...but I don't think you're suppose to go over...

    Just go for a big burn at the end of the day.
  • SpeSHul_SnoflEHk
    SpeSHul_SnoflEHk Posts: 6,256 Member
    Siamese cats -- basically you only need 600 of those.

    MMRF!!! :heart:

    I've never been loved by a cyclops before.

    Look deeply into my eye.

    The last time I you told me to do that, it spit on me.


    LOL. I love you.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    Siamese cats -- basically you only need 600 of those.

    MMRF!!! :heart:

    I've never been loved by a cyclops before.

    Look deeply into my eye.

    The last time I you told me to do that, it spit on me.


    LOL. I love you.

    :blushing: :bigsmile:
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    I get so tired of this conversation. It's not about NUMBER of cats, it's about the QUALITY of your cats. Refined cats are not healthy - whole, unprocessed cats are best.

    Haven't you seen the posts about the guy who ate nothing but kitty puffs and is in really good shape? Obviously quality of cats is important but it is not as important as the number of cats.

    If you only eat processed cats but in the right quantities you can still lose weight. If you eat completely organic, unprocessed, grass fed cats but in the wrong quantities, you will still gain weight.

    Untrue. Monsanto's GMO cats make up the majority of processed cats in this country! They have been proven to simulate weight gain, no matter how few one eats.

    This is just ridiculous, as long as you hit your macros and micros Long hair/Short hair/Hairless, it doesn't matter what you eat. You aren't going to lose extra weight just because you eat unprocessed. Maybe some of them that haven't been groomed with chemical shampoos will have a few extra nutrients but even the mass-groomed cats that are only fed meow mix will still keep you healthy.

    Next you are going to tell me that cat milk is only for kittens. Ridiculous. Have you ever even tried cat milk ice cream?
  • tkotaka
    tkotaka Posts: 17
    re: furballs. Great source of fiber!
  • Otterluv
    Otterluv Posts: 9,083 Member
    You people are bullies. I've been eating at under 1000 gross cats for months, and I feel FINE! My hair is shiny and my belches smell like roses.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?
  • Carnivor0us
    Carnivor0us Posts: 1,752 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.
  • gc_tweety
    gc_tweety Posts: 205 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

    I never want it to end!!!
  • cindiva65
    cindiva65 Posts: 335 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

    I never want it to end!!!

    You let the cat outta the bag...ya mean we gotta stop tomorrow....dang it all!
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

    Sometimes I weep for humanity.
  • ZeroWoIf
    ZeroWoIf Posts: 588 Member
    I'll try to post a helpful and serious post. Not being able to manage 1200 calories is hard to believe. In my theory this is not due to the number but the anxiety people have when choosing foods. If you want to manage 1200 calories then buy the following foods.

    1. Brown Rice
    2. Sweet Potatoes
    3. Any Dark Green For fiber
    4. Oatmeal makes you full would recommend it but in your case you may want to avoid it if your stomach gets full easily or satisfied.
    5. Lean meat choices such as chicken breast, lean steak, eggs, and etc.
    6. All natural peanut butter.
    7. Water no Juices
    8. spices for your food, don't want your food tasting like cardboard box.

    Your grocery should be this simple and you should base your meal plans from them. Now if you are not feeling hungry and don't want to eat then there may be external factors affecting this. Try to get over what issues you have to allow you to continue a healthy life. I left out number 9 and that one is fried cat. Just kidding! Anything else is pretty much serious. 1200 is nothing, I bet you had mcdonalds meals that were almost that amount.
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on their feet what happens if you butter the back of a cat?

    Does it hover?

    The cat hovers only if the ratio of bread to butter is the same as the ratio of cat to butter. Otherwise the physical properties of the cat overpower the properties of the butter, so the cat lands on its feet. (Or, if you somehow have more butter than cat, the cat lands butter side down)

    For example, if your typical ratio of bread/butter is 28 grams of bread and 5 grams of butter, then if you have an 11 pound cat (4989 grams) you would have to butter that cat with almost 2 pounds of butter (891 grams) for it to hover.

    Didn't they teach you the cat/butter theory in high school physics? Geez, what kind of school did you go to?
  • subconscious_ink
    subconscious_ink Posts: 194 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Maybe you're just hangry? Try some cat with coconut oil.
  • kitkat4141
    kitkat4141 Posts: 379 Member
    ROTFLMAO

    I've got nothing, it's all been said.
  • devil_in_a_blue_dress
    devil_in_a_blue_dress Posts: 5,214 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Maybe you're just hangry? Try some cat with coconut oil.

    detector.gif
  • MayaSPapaya
    MayaSPapaya Posts: 735 Member
    I swear, if it was my first day here I would be so confused. :laugh:
  • busywaterbending
    busywaterbending Posts: 844 Member
    this helped me allot:

    486293_496053413775554_866456865_n.jpg
  • dbmata
    dbmata Posts: 12,950 Member
    I keep reading everywhere that you should eat more than 1200 cats a day. But I just can't eat that many. The most I've managed is 500 and that's because it's Easter weekend.

    Please tell me how you fit so many cats in?

    First, get a meat grinder. Then juice the ground cat.

    You'll get all 1200 in.
  • LovesStrays
    LovesStrays Posts: 41
    I'll try to post a helpful and serious post. Not being able to manage 1200 calories is hard to believe. In my theory this is not due to the number but the anxiety people have when choosing foods. If you want to manage 1200 calories then buy the following foods.

    1. Brown Rice
    2. Sweet Potatoes
    3. Any Dark Green For fiber
    4. Oatmeal makes you full would recommend it but in your case you may want to avoid it if your stomach gets full easily or satisfied.
    5. Lean meat choices such as chicken breast, lean steak, eggs, and etc.
    6. All natural peanut butter.
    7. Water no Juices
    8. spices for your food, don't want your food tasting like cardboard box.

    Your grocery should be this simple and you should base your meal plans from them. Now if you are not feeling hungry and don't want to eat then there may be external factors affecting this. Try to get over what issues you have to allow you to continue a healthy life. I left out number 9 and that one is fried cat. Just kidding! Anything else is pretty much serious. 1200 is nothing, I bet you had mcdonalds meals that were almost that amount.

    Hmm, all good suggestions, but have you thought about having a pop tart cat sandwich - as an occasional treat, going over your 1200 cats a day once in a while can help bump your metabolism and allow you to burn those cats more efficiently. :drinker:
  • Booksandbeaches
    Booksandbeaches Posts: 1,791 Member
    Are you sure you're honestly cat-a-logging everything you're eating? A good food diary will help you get all your cats in.
  • Natihilator
    Natihilator Posts: 1,778 Member
    This is bull****. It is beyond easy to eat over 1200 cats a day. Something is wrong with you if you truly madly deeply cannot eat more.
  • BaconMD
    BaconMD Posts: 1,165 Member
    You don't have to eat 1200 cats per day, as long as you're killing at least 1200 cats per day then you are contributing to making the world a better place.
  • ElliieMental
    ElliieMental Posts: 189
    #bestthreadever

    Thank you :bigsmile:
  • lilmissbamaqueen
    lilmissbamaqueen Posts: 184
    If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on their feet what happens if you butter the back of a cat?

    Does it hover?

    The cat hovers only if the ratio of bread to butter is the same as the ratio of cat to butter. Otherwise the physical properties of the cat overpower the properties of the butter, so the cat lands on its feet. (Or, if you somehow have more butter than cat, the cat lands butter side down)

    For example, if your typical ratio of bread/butter is 28 grams of bread and 5 grams of butter, then if you have an 11 pound cat (4989 grams) you would have to butter that cat with almost 2 pounds of butter (891 grams) for it to hover.

    Didn't they teach you the cat/butter theory in high school physics? Geez, what kind of school did you go to?

    But is it an African or European cat?
  • Carnivor0us
    Carnivor0us Posts: 1,752 Member
    I'm really angry about all these cat posts - why can't you all be more serious?

    Not sure if serious, but just in case you are, It's April Fool's day and we're all being silly. It will be over tomorrow.

    Sometimes I weep for humanity.

    Me too....
  • love4fitnesslove4food_wechange
    love4fitnesslove4food_wechange Posts: 6,897 Member
    April fools?
  • CristinaL1983
    CristinaL1983 Posts: 1,119 Member
    If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on their feet what happens if you butter the back of a cat?

    Does it hover?

    The cat hovers only if the ratio of bread to butter is the same as the ratio of cat to butter. Otherwise the physical properties of the cat overpower the properties of the butter, so the cat lands on its feet. (Or, if you somehow have more butter than cat, the cat lands butter side down)

    For example, if your typical ratio of bread/butter is 28 grams of bread and 5 grams of butter, then if you have an 11 pound cat (4989 grams) you would have to butter that cat with almost 2 pounds of butter (891 grams) for it to hover.

    Didn't they teach you the cat/butter theory in high school physics? Geez, what kind of school did you go to?

    But is it an African or European cat?

    So I was trying this, for science and unfortunately, I couldn't get my cat to stop licking the the butter off as I was slathering it on which makes it very difficult. Are you saying that the air speed is different for African and European cats?
  • So_Much_Fab
    So_Much_Fab Posts: 1,146 Member
    Siamese cats -- basically you only need 600 of those.

    Winner!
  • lilmissbamaqueen
    lilmissbamaqueen Posts: 184
    If bread always lands butter side down and a cat always lands on their feet what happens if you butter the back of a cat?

    Does it hover?

    The cat hovers only if the ratio of bread to butter is the same as the ratio of cat to butter. Otherwise the physical properties of the cat overpower the properties of the butter, so the cat lands on its feet. (Or, if you somehow have more butter than cat, the cat lands butter side down)

    For example, if your typical ratio of bread/butter is 28 grams of bread and 5 grams of butter, then if you have an 11 pound cat (4989 grams) you would have to butter that cat with almost 2 pounds of butter (891 grams) for it to hover.

    Didn't they teach you the cat/butter theory in high school physics? Geez, what kind of school did you go to?

    But is it an African or European cat?

    So I was trying this, for science and unfortunately, I couldn't get my cat to stop licking the the butter off as I was slathering it on which makes it very difficult. Are you saying that the air speed is different for African and European cats?

    Depending on whether it is a long-haired, short-haired, or hairless cat. The butter saturates at a higher rate for long-haired cats, which may result in higher drag, which would affect its air speed. However, due to the lesser density of hair, the saturation rate of the butter on the short-haired cat is much lower, and on a hairless cat, the butter would probably slide right off resulting in a very low saturation rate. Therefore, the chances of a hairless or short-haired cat landing on its feet is much higher than that of a long-haired cat, regardless of its region of origin.

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