Texting is NOT ENOUGH, Pick Up the Damned Phone!!
Replies
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1) texting gives you insight into grammar or lack thereof. Bad grammar = no actual date.
2) if you must hear a voice before a meet-up, then there's skype or some other video chat thingie.
3) sex before romance also gets the whole compatibility thing out of the way. Who wants to waste weeks with a guy, think he's great, and then discover that he can't perform when it counts?
4) when it's over, because the sex wasn't so good, it's easier to ignore a text than deal with the "it's not you, it's me" awkwardness in a phone call.
I've not actually dated during the texting age, but even I know this.
edited because, well, I can't make comments about good grammar and use poor grammar.0 -
i like talking on the phone to a certain extent....if i like a guy, i want to hear from him. we don't have to talk for hours on end but i'd love to hear his voice. texting is fine but NOT as the only means of communication (for me). as for the rest of my friends, texting is fine...i rarely talk on the phone unless making plans is easier over the phone rather than text
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I much prefer texting, but in a relationship you should definitely have some nice little chats on the phone too
Agreed on the rest of the stuff you said about romance being dead its quite depressing when did this happen lol?! Dudes be all wantin a 'relationship' but only if that relationship consists of just sex and no effort on their part! (sorry guys who aren't like this) lol 0 -
Much prefer to text. If I think it's going anywhere or we have planned to meet, then yes I would like to call you on the phone but not for very long.0
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No, I will not.0
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1) texting gives you insight into grammar or lack thereof. Bad grammar = no actual date.
2) if you must hear a voice before a meet-up, then there's skype or some other video chat thingie.
3) sex before romance also gets the whole compatibility thing out of the way. Who wants to waste weeks with a guy, think he's great, and then discover that he can't perform when it counts?
4) when it's over, because the sex wasn't so good, it's easier to ignore a text than deal with the "it's not you, it's me" awkwardness in a phone call.
I've not actually dated during the texting age, but even I know this.
edited because, well, I can't make comments about good grammar and use poor grammar.
so you're that person that types text messages in complete sentences with correct punctuation and everything. the darn messages are so long they have to come in segments.0 -
I'm old fashioned too and I felt the same way as you when I was dating but I stood my ground and didn't go out with the men that couldn't call me for a date and then I met my husband. He always called to ask me out and was a perfect gentleman on our dates. The only reason men behave that way is because women haven't let them know it's not okay to behave that way.
oh! once a man asked me if I wanted to "hang out" sometime. My response was "sure I'd like to go on a date with you". he replied "well, I don't really like labels". Needless to say I didn't go out with him... even after he said we could call it a date.
Absolutely perfect and I agree! It's become this way because it's been allowed to be this way. Thank you for understanding. Those that can't understand this can keep it moving because I'm certain there are no shortage of girls interested in taking the lead and jumping into bed immediately. More power to them.0 -
Get a house phone?
What are we, in the 70's??
Rotary dial is where it's at! Try to text with that!
:laugh:0 -
Complaining about technology is good sign you are getting old, mentally. Remember when we all thought it was rude and obnoxious to walk around in public while talking on a cell phone? Thanks to texting I stay some contact with dozens of people I wouldn't normally call on a regular basis.0
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I much prefer texting, but in a relationship you should definitely have some nice little chats on the phone too Agreed on the rest of the stuff you said about romance being dead its quite depressing when did this happen lol?! Dudes be all wantin a 'relationship' but only if that relationship consists of just sex and no effort on their part! (sorry guys who aren't like this) lol
^^THIS0 -
You know I prefer picture texts, baby.I actually get ticked when people call me that aren't in my immediate family.
Is that why you don't answer?
I'll stop.0 -
Complaining about technology is good sign you are getting old, mentally. Remember when we all thought it was rude and obnoxious to walk around in public while talking on a cell phone? lol
It's amazing how my words are being misinterpreted. I think texting is awesome. I do it, frequently. And that's not the point of my rant, so please reread it.0 -
I actually get ticked when people call me that aren't in my immediate family.
this. ugh.
if you're privileged to have me on the other end of your phone, i will let you know when i will grace you with my voice.0 -
How is this god awful thread still going?
Last time I checked, no one is tying you down and forcing you to read it. Run along now.
Last time I checked, no one asked you to post crap. Since you did, you need to be mocked.
dude get your panties out a bunch... go find the thread with her booty in it and check that out.0 -
No, I will not.
what if I ask nice?0 -
Complaining about technology is good sign you are getting old, mentally. Remember when we all thought it was rude and obnoxious to walk around in public while talking on a cell phone? Thanks to texting I stay some contact with dozens of people I wouldn't normally call on a regular basis.
i still think it is rude and obnoxious to do it. If it is not a matter of life or death you have no reason to slow my life down by walking and talking shopping and talking working out and talking or do anything else with your cell phone that interferes with me.0 -
I like the text exchange in the beginning, then some phone time every so often. a couple times a week if you can't see each other.
Talking in person is my preference but sometimes a phone call is nice especially with a busy schedule. It is much easier to respond to a text. I just dont' like when men flip out if you can't/don't reply within 5 seconds. I get home from work and leave my phone down. I will check it now and again but it is NOT in my hand at all times.
So I guess I partly agree with OP. If a guy has enough interest in you, he will call, make plans for a nice date and then text you more.
I am 35 and sometimes I miss the days before cell phones. Oh....to come home to messages on an answering machine and not have to feel 'tracked' every moment of your life. LOL Just saying.
Good luck!0 -
No, I will not.
what if I ask nice?
Depends if you're on knees whilst you ask...0 -
I like texting... I have kids, and I don't want to talk on the phone when I'm with them (hello, try and have a convo when a 5 and 7 year old are present). Texting means I can stay in light contact.
I do like the occasional phone call. I like the instant back and forth in voice, hearing a laugh, feeling the humor that way too. That said, I do voice notes and mini vids if I can (not dirty... ok not usually.. ok not always), so that I can hear and see.
But phone calls, when unexpected are tough - it may mean me missing a call from my kids (the only other people who call), or it means I'm tied to having my phone to my head (or headset in) for way too long.
So - texting / sexting / skype all that can be a fantastic enhancement to a dating relationship... but it isn't sufficient for a complete one.0 -
I hate talking on the phone and I've dated TWO guys in the past who wanted nothing more than spend all afternoon on the phone (and one was before I had a cell phone so I'd be tied to a phone cord and when I did have the cell phone it either didn't have speaker phone or I didn't know how to use it) - like these guys could talk for HOURS (and I'm talking one conversation with one of the guys lasted FIVE hours) and I'm like "I have things to do" I loved our conversations but they needed to be way shorter (we did have computer messaging, which I liked a lot better). So yeah, I'm a fan of texting because if it's not something urgent or serious I can respond when I have a chance. Of course for serious conversations, I'd pick up the phone, or better yet, talk face-to-face.0
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I'm old fashioned too and I felt the same way as you when I was dating but I stood my ground and didn't go out with the men that couldn't call me for a date and then I met my husband. He always called to ask me out and was a perfect gentleman on our dates. The only reason men behave that way is because women haven't let them know it's not okay to behave that way.
oh! once a man asked me if I wanted to "hang out" sometime. My response was "sure I'd like to go on a date with you". he replied "well, I don't really like labels". Needless to say I didn't go out with him... even after he said we could call it a date.
this. just set up the boundries for yourself. different things work for different people.0 -
No, I will not.
what if I ask nice?
Depends if you're on knees whilst you ask...
Of course, it's the only way to ask for things, isn't it?0 -
I think it's better to get the sex out of the way. Then you can focus on the relationship rather than applying mathmatical formula to when is the appropriate time to have sex with them.
This is what I (used to) do and apparently, that makes me slutty.
I always thought the purpose of a date was to see whether enough chemistry existed between two people for sex to be possible in the future. I mean, if you dig down underneath it all and ignore the hope for a broader emotional connection, that's a major element.. I'd venture to say *the* major element. So what's the idea behind a hookup, "meet someone, find them generally agreeable, find a quiet place to screw, then figure out if you want to see them again"? This feel like a really subversive misogynistic agenda that women are actually BUYING INTO, especially considering the fact that once you have sex with a person, you start CHEMICALLY BONDING to them by way of oxytocin, and woman in much, much greater amounts than men.
I'm just exploring the meaning of social rituals. I'm NOT against technology. I'm NOT against sex. I happen to love both in the proper context.0 -
I like to text more than I like to talk on the phone. However, I also think that a phone conversation is necessary if it is someone I'm going to meet especially if I do not know them well. I also like to be taken out on dates and it does seem like that is becoming more obsolete. I'm sure there are still good ones out there but if they were easy to find then it wouldn't be worth the search in the first place. Good luck out there its a jungle :bigsmile:0
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I think it's better to get the sex out of the way. Then you can focus on the relationship rather than applying mathmatical formula to when is the appropriate time to have sex with them.
This is what I (used to) do and apparently, that makes me slutty.
I always thought the purpose of a date was to see whether enough chemistry existed between two people for sex to be possible in the future. I mean, if you dig down underneath it all and ignore the hope for a broader emotional connection, that's a major element.. I'd venture to say *the* major element. So what's the idea behind a hookup, "meet someone, find them generally agreeable, find a quiet place to screw, then figure out if you want to see them again"? This feel like a really subversive misogynistic agenda that women are actually BUYING INTO, especially considering the fact that once you have sex with a person, you start CHEMICALLY BONDING to them by way of oxytocin, and woman in much, much greater amounts than men.
I'm just exploring the meaning of social rituals. I'm NOT against technology. I'm NOT against sex. I happen to love both in the proper context.
Hey missy! Don't go spreading that around! Guys won't get enough cheap, meaningless sex if that catches on.0 -
technology changes things....
i mean if you REALLY wanted to go back to the way things were, then he can either ask your parents if it's ok if he takes you out on a date ....or even further back...he can write your dad a letter asking for permission to take you out...
i mean really....times change....
it is what it is.
what about texting cancels out their sincerity and desire to spend time with you? what about a phone call makes it more real or more verifiable for you?
jus curious.
I prefer texting personally but that's me
This.0 -
I'm 31, been off the market for many years and now just recently back on and the degraded state of dating is really disappointing, to the point I really don't even want to do it at all. Since when is solely texting an acceptable means of communication? Whatever happened to the good old days when a man actually picked up a phone and asked a girl on a date? Now it just seems like a never ending cycle of texting. And what happened to dating? It seems like men don't ask women on legit dates anymore. And why does the conversation turn to sexual innuendo so quickly? Is this what we've become reduced to as a society? I feel like finding an attractive, responsible, respectful man, interested in getting to know my mind and willing to take me out on a real date is like trying to find a purple unicorn.
I understand that women are expected to do things like call the guy first and ask him out but I really don't like the tone that sets for the relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess? Yeah, I guess I'm jaded with the new man-child I see around me. Are all the good ones snatched up by their 30s?
EDIT: Let me clarify: I LIKE texting! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But if that's the ONLY way we communicate, I have a problem with this. And when I said, Pick up the phone, it could be for 5 minutes, just to say "Hi, how was your day? Want to grab a drink?". I mean, is this absurd?
In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" the author states that if a guy is really interested in you, he will call.
I read that after a few failed dating attempts. It rings very true.0 -
I talk on the phone all day at work. When I'm out of work, I hate answering or calling people. I'd much rather text0
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technology changes things....
i mean if you REALLY wanted to go back to the way things were, then he can either ask your parents if it's ok if he takes you out on a date ....or even further back...he can write your dad a letter asking for permission to take you out...
i mean really....times change....
it is what it is.
what about texting cancels out their sincerity and desire to spend time with you? what about a phone call makes it more real or more verifiable for you?
jus curious.
I prefer texting personally but that's me
This.
Nothing, nothing at all. But if the texts lead nowhere... then it's just a cycle of texting until somebody texts a naked picture? I mean is that the game?0 -
I'm 31, been off the market for many years and now just recently back on and the degraded state of dating is really disappointing, to the point I really don't even want to do it at all. Since when is solely texting an acceptable means of communication? Whatever happened to the good old days when a man actually picked up a phone and asked a girl on a date? Now it just seems like a never ending cycle of texting. And what happened to dating? It seems like men don't ask women on legit dates anymore. And why does the conversation turn to sexual innuendo so quickly? Is this what we've become reduced to as a society? I feel like finding an attractive, responsible, respectful man, interested in getting to know my mind and willing to take me out on a real date is like trying to find a purple unicorn.
I understand that women are expected to do things like call the guy first and ask him out but I really don't like the tone that sets for the relationship. Call me old fashioned, but I appreciate traditional gender roles in which the man COURTS the woman. Courtship seems dead. Now it's, meet, text, hook up. WTF is that mess? Yeah, I guess I'm jaded with the new man-child I see around me. Are all the good ones snatched up by their 30s?
EDIT: Let me clarify: I LIKE texting! I don't think there's anything wrong with it. But if that's the ONLY way we communicate, I have a problem with this. And when I said, Pick up the phone, it could be for 5 minutes, just to say "Hi, how was your day? Want to grab a drink?". I mean, is this absurd?
In the book "He's Just Not That Into You" the author states that if a guy is really interested in you, he will call.
I read that after a few failed dating attempts. It rings very true.
I did. Saw the movie and I'm a believer. I believe that is a guy is really into a girl, he will get over whatever issues he has with picking up the phone, anxiety, etc, get his balls together and CALLS HER. So. Then they're not into me would be the next assumed answer. I can handle that... if I were the initiator. Since all the men I meet initiate contact (I'm old fashioned -- I don't make the first move), then I can only assume that they are, in fact, into me.0
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