Texting is NOT ENOUGH, Pick Up the Damned Phone!!
Replies
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Texting is just more private..and more convenient. With the hours people work these days..and all the people they may be surrounded by throughout the day...texting is a way to keep your chats out of everyone's business. As far as dating goes..dates are , to me...just ok. I mean, I would rather be somewhere with my boyfriend..just chillin..relaxing..and not always out somewhere spending money. The traditional dates, I think..are a thing of the past. When you connect with someone..really connecting..it doesn't matter where you spend your time together..or how you spend that time...you just wanna be together. Everything doesn't have to be so public all the time. Men use to go broke..constantly taking women on dates...dates that went no where. Times change...you dont have to abide by so many "rules" now. Men and women know who they want and what they want. Phonecalls are forgotten....I would rather get a text saying "you're on my mind..I miss you"..because I can read it anytime I think about him. Dont get me wrong...a call is nice sometimes too...but there are only certain times they are acceptable..a text is good 24/70
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Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Agreed.0 -
Texting is just more private..and more convenient. With the hours people work these days..and all the people they may be surrounded by throughout the day...texting is a way to keep your chats out of everyone's business. As far as dating goes..dates are , to me...just ok. I mean, I would rather be somewhere with my boyfriend..just chillin..relaxing..and not always out somewhere spending money. The traditional dates, I think..are a thing of the past. When you connect with someone..really connecting..it doesn't matter where you spend your time together..or how you spend that time...you just wanna be together. Everything doesn't have to be so public all the time. Men use to go broke..constantly taking women on dates...dates that went no where. Times change...you dont have to abide by so many "rules" now. Men and women know who they want and what they want. Phonecalls are forgotten....I would rather get a text saying "you're on my mind..I miss you"..because I can read it anytime I think about him. Dont get me wrong...a call is nice sometimes too...but there are only certain times they are acceptable..a text is good 24/7
I feel like this a very New-Depression area mindset that "dates are thing of the past." A date does not need to involve lavish amounts of money because it very much is about the time spent together. A walk in town or the park, a museum or even coffee are all a "date". I think of it as creating a sacred space around the relationship and making it special, set aside from just chilling with your friends. It increases the value of dating over just hooking up or casual time spent together. There is a time for that, as that's what the bulk of a relationship consists of.0 -
maybe they don't wanna go through a lot of effort after being let down by other girls.0
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The best thing you should do is look for someone who feels the same way you do. Chances are, that may be difficult.0
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I have a Zack Morris phone so I can't even text. Calling is the only way to go when I want to give Kelly piece of the old Kapowski
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I have had this same conversation numerous times recently. We are becoming a society that cannot communicate appropriately. I watch my twenty year old sisters texting their boyfriends while sitting in the same room! I have married friends who talk to each other through facebook more than they talk in person.
Most people have no concept of good grammar these days, as everything is abbreviated to the point that people cannot even spell properly any longer. Don't get me wrong, I like texting for things that can be said quickly, and for things that don't necessarily need a reply. I don't like having a conversation through text messages. I have lost friends over this, as well as possible romantic interests. Believe me when I say that it does not bother me in the least. If I am not worth two minutes of someone's time to pick up a telephone, then I don't need them in my life.0 -
You are definitely old-fashioned. Times change....technology changes....people change. Women are fierce beings. We have evolved. We dont have to wait to see if a guy will ask us out. If you are interested..ASK HIM OUT. Why expect HIM to do everything....we are no longer June and Ward Cleaver. And I'm not trying to be rude..I just find it funny that in 2013..we still expect things to be like they were 50 years ago. If you want something..go for it. Hey, most guys appreciate a "take charge" kinda woman. It balances out a relationship beautifully. Guys are strong..most men appreciate a take charge kinda woman..but will still be the man..and rock that you need. Try it..dont wait...just do it.
And about texts....sometimes you can say things via text....that you just cant say on the phone..because of lack of privacy...and sometimes you wanna blow his mind....and not everyone els's...no pun intended.
And another thing I know for a fact....men don't waste their time with women who have a bunch of rules and expectations...they pick up on these things quickly...and will drop you like a hot rock. Women either, for that matter.0 -
No, I will not.
what if I ask nice?
Depends if you're on knees whilst you ask...
Of course, it's the only way to ask for things, isn't it?
This is a formal date in the making..0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Poetry0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.0 -
You can't call pictures of your junk to a girl though
![:\](https://community.myfitnesspal.com/en/resources/emoji/confused.png ":\")
Texting is the only way. 0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
I would avoid the word 'normal' at all costs.
Example: My boyfriend grew up in rural Appalachia. His grandpa castrated the barn cats by putting their heads into boots and tying rubber bands around their testicles. They did not take animals to the vet. He had to shoot a couple rabid dogs when he was younger.
I grew up in the suburbs of Michigan and was not aware until very recently that this was a method of kitty castration.
Now obviously we have very different ideas about the use of veterinary care. There is no universal normal. 0 -
You can't call pictures of your junk to a girl though Texting is the only way.
Some things are better left to the imagination!0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
Good point. Communication is huge. Month after next I celebrate my 15th anniversary. I know the value of communication.
But a phone call, really. You need to be prepared for the dissapointment of not getting a phone call? A phone call used to be a matter of courtesy. Besides the dude with the Zach Morris phone everybody has an Android or an iPhone, which means two taps of a touch screen. If your man isn't willing to do THAT, then the relationship may need to be re-evaluated.0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
Good point. Communication is huge. Month after next I celebrate my 15th anniversary. I know the value of communication.
But a phone call, really. You need to be prepared for the dissapointment of not getting a phone call? A phone call used to be a matter of courtesy. Besides the dude with the Zach Morris phone everybody has an Android or an iPhone, which means two taps of a touch screen. If your man isn't willing to do THAT, then the relationship may need to be re-evaluated.
LOL really??
I want to live on your planet where everyone has money for an Android or an iPhone...0 -
Texting is just more private..and more convenient. With the hours people work these days..and all the people they may be surrounded by throughout the day...texting is a way to keep your chats out of everyone's business. As far as dating goes..dates are , to me...just ok. I mean, I would rather be somewhere with my boyfriend..just chillin..relaxing..and not always out somewhere spending money. The traditional dates, I think..are a thing of the past. When you connect with someone..really connecting..it doesn't matter where you spend your time together..or how you spend that time...you just wanna be together. Everything doesn't have to be so public all the time. Men use to go broke..constantly taking women on dates...dates that went no where. Times change...you dont have to abide by so many "rules" now. Men and women know who they want and what they want. Phonecalls are forgotten....I would rather get a text saying "you're on my mind..I miss you"..because I can read it anytime I think about him. Dont get me wrong...a call is nice sometimes too...but there are only certain times they are acceptable..a text is good 24/7
I feel like this a very New-Depression area mindset that "dates are thing of the past." A date does not need to involve lavish amounts of money because it very much is about the time spent together. A walk in town or the park, a museum or even coffee are all a "date". I think of it as creating a sacred space around the relationship and making it special, set aside from just chilling with your friends. It increases the value of dating over just hooking up or casual time spent together. There is a time for that, as that's what the bulk of a relationship consists of.
You and me and five bucks!
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Texting is just more private..and more convenient. With the hours people work these days..and all the people they may be surrounded by throughout the day...texting is a way to keep your chats out of everyone's business. As far as dating goes..dates are , to me...just ok. I mean, I would rather be somewhere with my boyfriend..just chillin..relaxing..and not always out somewhere spending money. The traditional dates, I think..are a thing of the past. When you connect with someone..really connecting..it doesn't matter where you spend your time together..or how you spend that time...you just wanna be together. Everything doesn't have to be so public all the time. Men use to go broke..constantly taking women on dates...dates that went no where. Times change...you dont have to abide by so many "rules" now. Men and women know who they want and what they want. Phonecalls are forgotten....I would rather get a text saying "you're on my mind..I miss you"..because I can read it anytime I think about him. Dont get me wrong...a call is nice sometimes too...but there are only certain times they are acceptable..a text is good 24/7
Yes!0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
Good point. Communication is huge. Month after next I celebrate my 15th anniversary. I know the value of communication.
But a phone call, really. You need to be prepared for the dissapointment of not getting a phone call? A phone call used to be a matter of courtesy. Besides the dude with the Zach Morris phone everybody has an Android or an iPhone, which means two taps of a touch screen. If your man isn't willing to do THAT, then the relationship may need to be re-evaluated.
LOL really??
I want to live on your planet where everyone has money for an Android or an iPhone...
I didn't say anything about money...I know a lot of shady people.
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Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
You get backlash b/c you want to impose your worldview, whiney.0 -
Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
Good point. Communication is huge. Month after next I celebrate my 15th anniversary. I know the value of communication.
But a phone call, really. You need to be prepared for the dissapointment of not getting a phone call? A phone call used to be a matter of courtesy. Besides the dude with the Zach Morris phone everybody has an Android or an iPhone, which means two taps of a touch screen. If your man isn't willing to do THAT, then the relationship may need to be re-evaluated.
LOL really??
I want to live on your planet where everyone has money for an Android or an iPhone...
I didn't say anything about money...I know a lot of shady people.
Haha! Now I don't know if I want a phone call on a black-market phone haha 0 -
I actually HATE talking to people on the phone --- especially in the preliminary stages of dating.0
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Wow. When did it become a bad thing to expect a certain standard of behavior? I don't think there's anything wrong with hook-ups, texting, hanging out, or whatever. But so many women in this thread seem more resigned to the "fact" that they may not get more than a text, than they are ok with just getting a text. The common thread throughout this thread, see what I did there, seems to be that women, or the OP, anyway, is dissatisfied with so many men's attitude of minimum effort for maximum results. But the women in this thread seem to have really low expectations of men.
I have a little girl, and I'm trying to raise her not to buy into that nonsense. It's not needy to expect a phone call. Old fashioned isn't a cuss word. I'm teaching my little girl that if a guy's really interested he can make a phone call, open a door, pull out a chair.
^^ I'm all about not setting oneself up with false expectations, but I think there should be AT LEAST SOME standards, don't you? The reason that this stuff is changing is because society is allowing it to happen. It's not that women need "protecting". We can take care of ourselves, but I come from the school of thought that we take care of EACH OTHER. I
Standards and expectations aren't the same thing. Keeping an open mind doesn't mean settling. It means having the ability to think critically and creatively and accept new dynamics. Or you can just get frustrated that things aren't how they used to be. Whatever makes you happier.
The most common issue is that people *expect* things without communicating them, and then they are disappointed when those things don't happen. No, it's not needy to expect a phone call, but it's not reasonable to expect a phone call without telling the guy 'I think phone calls are very important and I would love to get a phone call from you rather than a text.' Otherwise, you're not just expecting a phone call, you're expecting him to read your mind *and* give you a phone call. That would be like me getting irritated at a guy for calling me without ever saying 'Hey, I don't like talking on the phone, so I would appreciate it if we could either email or talk in person.'
Can't be disappointed that things aren't happening if you aren't setting them in motion.
Well stated and I agree with this philosophy of creating awareness for your needs. Excuse my ignorance -- apparently I've been time-warped in a world where phone calls are normal? I didn't expect there to be such a passionate backlash against making a simple call, but the obviously there are a diverse set of issues here. This thread has opened my eyes that it's not the standard for everybody.
You get backlash b/c you want to impose your worldview, whiney.
Oh, the sad, lonely life of a troll. You're so cool because you're such a rebel. Teach me to be like you.0 -
I agree! I HATE texting. Its kind of unusual for an 18 year old to hate texting, but I prefer face-to-face conversations and phone conversations. Even FaceTiming (its basically webcamming, for those who don't know). Texting is just so impersonal.0
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1) texting gives you insight into grammar or lack thereof. Bad grammar = no actual date.
2) if you must hear a voice before a meet-up, then there's skype or some other video chat thingie.
3) sex before romance also gets the whole compatibility thing out of the way. Who wants to waste weeks with a guy, think he's great, and then discover that he can't perform when it counts?
4) when it's over, because the sex wasn't so good, it's easier to ignore a text than deal with the "it's not you, it's me" awkwardness in a phone call.
I've not actually dated during the texting age, but even I know this.
edited because, well, I can't make comments about good grammar and use poor grammar.
I love this^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^ All of it and I feel the same way0 -
I have had this same conversation numerous times recently. We are becoming a society that cannot communicate appropriately. I watch my twenty year old sisters texting their boyfriends while sitting in the same room! I have married friends who talk to each other through facebook more than they talk in person.
Most people have no concept of good grammar these days, as everything is abbreviated to the point that people cannot even spell properly any longer. Don't get me wrong, I like texting for things that can be said quickly, and for things that don't necessarily need a reply. I don't like having a conversation through text messages. I have lost friends over this, as well as possible romantic interests. Believe me when I say that it does not bother me in the least. If I am not worth two minutes of someone's time to pick up a telephone, then I don't need them in my life.
So, so true. This says it all!0 -
I think it's probably more that 30 year old guys are, in general, morons. I've been with my husband for a very long time, but I look around and thank my lucky stars that I don't have to choose from the common lot of 30-something guys out there.
Go to the internet, seriously. At least that way you know you're talking to people who are serious about dating someone and finding a partner. The average guy at the coffee shop or bar isn't looking beyond the next week. I met my husband online quite by accident in 1995, I was looking up some information and he had a web page with a broken link, I sent him a message that said, "your link is broken" and he replied that it wasn't, then helped me download the file on my computer and then we just kept talking. A couple months later we met, 6 months after that we moved in together. 18 years later we're happily married.
Cute story! (Also, 1995 was 18 years ago?? What the hell.)
I miss using the phone more often in general, it's way easier to agree on plans in a 60 second conversation vs trading dozens of texts & having to wait in between. Re dating, prefer texting for sure, much easier to be selective about how/when you talk to someone.
OP I think you're just setting yourself up for disappointment, your expectations around the kind of attention you want are unreasonable by 2013 standards. (2013 is 18 years after 1995 happened, what the hell!!) Adapt or die.0
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