Not pregnant... but thanks for asking?

It is not rude to ask a women if she is pregnent. If she looks prenent then it is not the askers fault. If you look pregnent and you are offended then you are the one being rude if you decide to take offense. (assuming someone is honestly asking of course and not just being mean)

Your intent might not be rude, but the result is. And it can also be devastating, so please reconsider your thought process on this. Unless the subject is brought up, you should not mention it. The daughter of a man I work with is going through a miscarriage of twins at 19 weeks right now. She still looks pregnant, and once the ordeal is over she will still look pregnant for a while. A person who takes your attitude puts her in the position of either having to tell you the truth (which is absolutely none of your business) or quietly harboring the pain of your question (which you never should have asked). The status of a woman's uterus is not up for discussion, unless she says it is.

i disagree. using that logic, never ask if someone is ok because maybe they just lost a family member to cancer

I wasn't offended when I was mistaken for being pregnant at all. I was more sad and disapointed at myself. I do however think that the response back from somone who has mistaken somneone for being pregnant can cause the situation to be offensive. A simple apology for the mistake and assumption that you thought she was preganant can lighten the blow. I was with a friend once and an lady asked when she was due. My friend wasn't pregnant and responded that she wasn't in a nice way. The lady just said "Oh" and walked off. NOW THAT IS RUDE! A simple apology would have made up for the mistake. I personally wanted to smack her.

Oh, and really? You're comparison to cancer is irrelevant and insensitive.

wrong and wrong

people ask questions out of curiosity. personally i would never ask a woman if she is pregnant nor would i compliment a lady on a hair cut (did that once to a good friend who busted out in tears for a half hour cause apparently the lady cut it too short and my friend hated it). but in the grand scheme of things having a baby is generally considered a good thing and such a happy time in someones life and people want to compliment others on it.

i would say 99.9999999999% of the time there is absolutely no malice involved in asking said question but while some of the responses are amusing they also can be considered rude and only serve to put the person on the offensive/defensive causing the situation to get even worse.

I had a friend say you and your mother crack me up and asked me how she was. I got to tell her that my mom recently passed away. want to talk awkward?

we as people cannot go around wearing signs on our necks saying dont ask this dont say this. there are actually some good people out there who generally try to be nice and ask strangers questions, its not a bad thing.

Someone once asked me how many children i had. None was my answer and she said "don't lie to me, you look like you've had at least 3"

Real confidence boost...

:noway:

Been there.

I'm sorry but as far as I am concerned you NEVER EVER ask a woman if she's pregnant, end of story no matter what.

i agree!

Lost 30 lbs once and someone asked me when I was due....made that 30 lbs loss seem like nothing, but oh well people are stupid in so many way you just have to keep going!

10 or 12 years ago, I was generally thinner, but that just made my belly more noticeable, and I would get asked if I was pregnant ALL THE TIME. After a while it stopped bothering me - it was actually pretty funny to see them react when I told them that no, this was just a pie baby...

It is not rude to ask a women if she is pregnent. If she looks prenent then it is not the askers fault. If you look pregnent and you are offended then you are the one being rude if you decide to take offense. (assuming someone is honestly asking of course and not just being mean)

Your intent might not be rude, but the result is. And it can also be devastating, so please reconsider your thought process on this. Unless the subject is brought up, you should not mention it. The daughter of a man I work with is going through a miscarriage of twins at 19 weeks right now. She still looks pregnant, and once the ordeal is over she will still look pregnant for a while. A person who takes your attitude puts her in the position of either having to tell you the truth (which is absolutely none of your business) or quietly harboring the pain of your question (which you never should have asked). The status of a woman's uterus is not up for discussion, unless she says it is.

i disagree. using that logic, never ask if someone is ok because maybe they just lost a family member to cancer

I think if you're asking "are you ok" it is likely because someone appears distressed, in which case a compassionate person would ask. If you mean asking "how are you" well, that's a pretty standard question and typically requires no more response than "I'm fine" among acquaintances (and strangers), and therefore doesn't put the recipient of the question in an awkward or traumatizing position.

My point about the pregnancy is, if you are close enough to the person for it to be your business, you will know (and then, when they decide you should - superstitions and family politics and all). If you're not, it's not YOUR conversation to start. Sure, chat it up if they talk, but there are SO many reasons not to open that door. Along with my example and the OPs, a person could be having a problem pregnancy, they could have an unwanted pregnancy and be planning to give the baby up, they could just simply be tired of being treated like they no longer rate conversation on their own merit but merely only on the contents of their uterus. There are so many reasons why the question is a bad idea. The best course of action with strangers is not not introduce intrusive topics that aren't your business to begin with.

This happened to me too a few years ago. I was about 23-24. I don't have any kids and I felt so low when the lady asked me. She was soo rude about it though, like she thought I was lying when I said "no". Sigh.

I've had a few students ask me this over the years. The first time it went like this:
Student: "Are you pregnant" (from across the room and I called him up to the front)
Me: " Are you completely unaware that it's inappropriate to ask a woman that?! No! I am not pregnant! Why would you ask me that?!"
Student: "You seem moody today. That's all"... I felt awful about myself and then worse that I wore my feelings on my sleeve that day!

Second time-
I was walking across campus and was wearing my new dress. A student came up to me:
Student: "Are you pregnant?"
Me: "Ugh, no"
Student: "Don't lie"
... Don't lie?! I never wore the dress again!

It doesn't feel good!! I am SO self-consciousness about it now!! I'm more wide hipped than belly flab, but golly do I worry! Maybe I need to not care so much what others think! I'm getting healthy and my husand is proud of me and loves me either way

But, I teach 8th grade... Sometimes they have no censor or sense!!

Ugh I had this happen to me last time I started putting weight on, a customer at the bank walked in and asked (almost upset) why I didn't tell him I was pregnant and he was happy for me. When I said I wasn't pregnant his response was "oh well you must have put a lot of weight on because you look like you are!" The same afternoon a customer said I was "glowing" and pregnancy must agree with me. I went home and threw away all junk food ate a salad and went to bed depressed.

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time someone awkwardly asks me if I'm pregnant... I'd have enough money for liposuction.

Seriously though...

And then there's the awkward "oh, I'm not..." and like, what do you say then? "Sorry I have so much belly fat that it confused you and made you think i was actually growing another human being in there? Nope, I'm just fat."

Sigh...

For Pete's sake. YOU are not the one who should feel embarrassed here. It is FAR worse to be rude than be overweight.

So turn the tables, look them straight in the eye and answer the question with a question of your own.

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

Who feels awkward now?

I swear, if I had a dollar for every time someone awkwardly asks me if I'm pregnant... I'd have enough money for liposuction.

Seriously though...

And then there's the awkward "oh, I'm not..." and like, what do you say then? "Sorry I have so much belly fat that it confused you and made you think i was actually growing another human being in there? Nope, I'm just fat."

Sigh...

For Pete's sake. YOU are not the one who should feel embarrassed here. It is FAR worse to be rude than be overweight.

So turn the tables, look them straight in the eye and answer the question with a question of your own.

"What makes you think I'm pregnant?"

Who feels awkward now?

ha! you're so right

Some times I wonder how STUPID/ignorant can someone be? I've had this happen to me not once, not twice but THREE times over the course of being age 19-27...so mortifying...In college I worked at gymboree (at 19 i looked about 16) and some lady asked me when I was due... I simply replied "I'm not"... one time when I was out I heard a guy make a comment "look that girl is drinking with a bun in the oven"...and the most recent I was at the hair Salon and the girl washing my hair asked if I was pregnant, and I was just so mortified that I went along with it. Mind you I am 5'3" and 130lbs with chicken legs, chicken arms, but my weight just rests where my "baby bump" would apparently... I would never ask someone this question who I didn't personally know, not only bc if its unclear if they are actually pregnant it's rude to ask someone such a question so early on....but unless they are 9 months and buying baby registry items then why would you ask someone this??????! Actually come to think of it four times... a past student of mine said to me "my mommy told me you were having a baby" REALLY?!

I had this happen to me at a chinese restaurant. The waiter informed me that they had non-caffeinated soda "for the baby" as he touched his stomach (he didn't speak English well). I thought it was kind of funny actually and I joke about it all the time now.