Not pregnant... but thanks for asking?

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Replies

  • rekite2000
    rekite2000 Posts: 218 Member
    I taught my step son at like 8 y/o- you never ask a woman if her jewelry is real and never ask if she is pregnant.
  • caitharrison
    caitharrison Posts: 2
    what if someone was pregnant and just had a miscarriage...people do not THINK
  • ehdub
    ehdub Posts: 37 Member
    ugh. hate this. ran into an old friend who had been preggo at the same time as me near the beginning of my pregnancy (while my 9 month old was in the stroller). i told her her daughter was beautiful and she was getting so big. she says "speaking of big! when are you due to pop? again, while my 9 month old was sitting there. she felt bad and i felt bad BUT it did motivate me to start logging my food intake again.
  • tpittsley77
    tpittsley77 Posts: 607 Member
    OMG I hate that! Long before I ever had kids, I was in a restaurant. We were seated near the kitchen. I don't think I actually looked prego at the time. However, the booths were funny shaped, and I was kind of slouching in the booth. The waitress came up to me, RUBBED my belly and asked when I was due. I looked at her and very sharply said "I'm not pregnant and get your damn hand off me."

    Well, she went into the kitchen, clearly mortified by what she had done. But we were seated so close to the kitchen, that everyone was peeking out to see the chick that was so fat she looked prego. Needless to say, I was MAD. The manager came up and apologized. Apparently the waitress told him what she had done and refused to come back out of the kitchen. I told him we were leaving the restaurant, since I didn't feel like being on display for their staff. He graciously packed up our meals and allowed us to leave without paying.

    The moral of the story. Unless you see a head coming out, NEVER assume a woman is pregnant!
  • peopletalk
    peopletalk Posts: 519 Member
    this has happened to me over 3 times. i think cause a lot of my weight was in the stomach area.
    i was working retail and some lady looked at my stomach and asked "are you pregnant?"
    i looked at the other lady in line, and she raised her eyebrows and left the store. then i looked at the woman who asked and i replied "nope, just fat"
    the woman looked shocked and i looked at her with the dirtiest look ever and said "you shouldn't ask girls that question. ESPECIALLY if you don't know them"
    she just looked down and said "i'm so sorry" and walked out.
  • itsHealthy
    itsHealthy Posts: 119 Member
    Oh no! :frown:
    Next time someone says that- please say "I am not, are you?" And try that on guys too!
  • Austinjacqui
    Austinjacqui Posts: 1
    As I hate handbags, I wear a 'bumbag' all the time. In cold weather, it's nicely tucked away under jumpers and coats. When I was 32, and about 6 months into married life, the mother of one of my pupils met me on the street, and whooped with joy at my 'bump'. I had been trying to get pregnant for years with my partner/now husband. I duly peeled off enough layers for her to see that I was not pregnant. She was so upset, that I ended up consoling her for her mistake.
    Over 20 years later, I still remember this moment, but can now laugh at it. (I never did get pregnant)
    I agree that being so overweight that one is mistaken for being pregnant is no joke. (And yes, losing a baby and still looking pregnant is one of the universe's nastier little jokes.) I do understand why people do it, though. Pregnancy is a blessing and a joy for most people, and those around you like to share in the pleasure and pride that surrounds the mum-to-be. That's why people touch others' bellies when they are pregnant. It's totally instinctive. (Offensive for the touchee, perhaps, but a natural response nonetheless.
    You must have looked fabulous for someone to have thought you were expecting. Radiant, even. Perhaps your weight loss journey has reached a point where you are beginning to shine with some of that confidence that comes from knowing that you are succeeding.
    See if you can recapture that joie-de-vivre. Don't let these incidents get you down, or turn you away from your path. Looking at the photo attached to your message, I can see that people would think you had something special happening in your life. You do look so very happy.
  • charmainewinter
    charmainewinter Posts: 33
    Happened to me a few times:

    When I was in my early 20's a child asked me if I was having a boy or girl the baby. It made me upset but not at her cause she was only a child and didn't know better.

    About 6 months after I had my daughter a family member (totally unprovoked, we weren't talking about weight or anything) said to me "you are the about the weight now as you were when you were 9 months pregnant hey?" I was LIVID! My daughter is now 13 and I still get angry about that. How rude, crass, and tacky.

    OTOH, many years ago I saw someone at my OBGYN office that I knew. I asked her when she was due and she said the she had the baby already and was back for her check up. I nearly DIED of embarrasment and apologized!

    I never never never ask now.
  • KabbyGU
    KabbyGU Posts: 158 Member
    Happened to me twice this week! I've recently gained some weight back and of course I gain it mostly in the tummy. It sux and makes me feel horrible. Especially since my husband and I have been trying unsuccessfully for over a year to get pregnant.
  • befitbre
    befitbre Posts: 12 Member
    I had a coworker ask me that a few months back. She's typically on the other side of the building, but we crossed paths one day and she asked me how the baby was doing. I told her I don't have kids, but I have a cat, and he's doing fine thanks.
  • janeoconnell71
    janeoconnell71 Posts: 13 Member
    this has happened to me so many times, i find it so upsetting and to be honest rude!! the last time i was asked was by a supermarket checkout girl, i got so flustered that i ended up telling her that yes i was 4 months pregnant and now i have to avoid that till at all costs haha:laugh:
  • karenertl
    karenertl Posts: 271 Member
    One of my coworkers was starting rumors back in October that I was pregnant. I have never been fat enough to actually look pregnant, so I have absolutely no idea at all as to how he got that idea. In order to shut him up, I had to threaten to turn him in for harassment since he was also lying and saying that I was off having wild affairs, even though the rest of my coworkers know better than to believe that. He's the main reason I joined this website and I was only 130 pounds at the time. I'm probably one of the skinniest people who works where I do! :grumble: :cry: :sad: :huh:
  • mummyzena
    mummyzena Posts: 259 Member
    A woman who I see around (do not even know her name) did the pointing at the stomach and asking 'are you?' in the middle of a busy shop an hr before I was due to start the gym (I was actually wearing my gym clothes at the time)
    When I said no she starting calling me a silly girl, how and why did i do it? All the time i now have customers and shop assistants gawking at us. I told her I was overeating and being lazy so she recommended i try lipotrim, it got her down to 14stone.
    I wish i had no objection to extending my right arm into rude peoples faces.
    Think my nsv for that day was not to do what I would normally do and forget the gym and eat my feelings, I went to the gym that day and with every step on the treadmill it was her face underneath my foot.
  • Woolified
    Woolified Posts: 65 Member
    I've been here too.... As a nurse I often have to "boost" people back up in bed... One day the Physical Therapist and I were in a room, and she had mentioned she needed help lifting the patient, when I grabbed the other side of the sheet and started counting down, she yelped in surprise and said to me "NO! You don't want to hurt the baby" ... Yeah, that was awkward.
  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    Zena,

    I bet you she will go back to fish and chips and put on weight again. I wish I had the balls to have a go at people like that!
  • LittleMissRainey
    LittleMissRainey Posts: 440 Member
    You will make progress. :-) Simply stick to it. Take your inspiration from the postage stamp. It is successful by simply sticking to it until the job is done!

    Great analogy!

    OP - I've been there... I hope to never be there again! *hugs* we'll get there.
  • DulceDollie
    DulceDollie Posts: 115
    Hey, add me to the list of ladies that this has also happened to. The first time was when I was 16, the second time was earlier this year (age 26). It was especially disheartening because I thought to myself, "Sheesh, after another 10 years you STILL don't have it together?!" But really it truly is not your fault, it is the fault of the tactless person asking. I NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant unless she's 9 months along, and even then I am very, very careful. And in my experience, lots of skinny-ish women have also been asked. Remember you're not alone and don't feel bad!
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,345 Member
    i was out for a walk, wearing a hoodie and had my water bottle in the pocket. I was waiting for the lights to change and some woman in a car at the lights looked at me out her open window and said "you're too f'ing young to be having a kid"

    Ummmm I was 32 and wasn't pregnant. I pointed this out and she got so embarrassed she ran the red to turn left and get away.
  • soundasleepx
    soundasleepx Posts: 98
    I have come to the conclusion that the male equivalent of asking a woman if she's pregnant, is asking a man if he's post op.
  • khayashi80
    khayashi80 Posts: 45 Member
    Been there, done that. Little kid sees me on the light rail and says - look daddy, she has a baby in her tummy! Dad looks at me mortified as he realizes that I am not pregnant but severely overweight. I calmly and sweetly as possible said, nope, no baby, I just ate too much candy and junk food. I was so embarrassed. It hurts, it's humiliating, and it knocks you down. I have used it to get where I am now, 19lbs from my goal. You can do it! *hugs*
  • onwarddownward
    onwarddownward Posts: 1,683 Member
    I was recently poked in the belly by a four year old and asked about my baby. Being 48 and having had SIX babies and seven pregnancies, I was discouraged. But I did tell her about all of my other children and that I am out of the baby business and trying to lose the baby belly.

    She was cute. The feeling I got was low down, dirty and humiliating. But it's a starting point. It solidified my urge to work out and eat right.
  • arlenem1974
    arlenem1974 Posts: 437 Member
    this happened to me twice once in high school I was asked by my fellow class mate when I was do I said the same time he was. I was 5'1 and about 150. He was taller and bigger then me.

    The second time I was in the mall it was during the winter I think I was in my 20's I think I was about 175 I was wearing a fanny pack under my winter coat. Her reply was just OH.
  • cinrn68
    cinrn68 Posts: 215 Member
    This just happened to me a few weeks ago -- and the kicker is, it was from a former Labour & Delivery nurse co-worker!! I was floored that she was even asking me the question (as she pats my stomach and says "so I see you're expecting). I was so stunned, I couldn't get out more than a "no, just fat" reply!!

    Idiots. That's all I can say. Doesn't EVERYONE know that you NEVER ask a woman if she's pregnant???
  • reginadelmundo
    reginadelmundo Posts: 23
    This has happened to me maybe 2-3 times, always when I was at my heaviest. Since I didn't know the person asking, and would probably never see them again, I'd just smile and say, "I"m due in June." Haha! It was easier and less embarrassing for everyone involved. Once, in a grocery story, a girl came up to me and said, "You're the cutest pregnant lady I've ever seen!" I just said, "Thank you!" Then I went home and ran three miles.
  • Phoenix_Rising
    Phoenix_Rising Posts: 11,417 Member
    :smile:
  • MimiLovesHorror
    MimiLovesHorror Posts: 47 Member
    Last summer I had an older woman offering her bus seat to me, because she thought i was pregnant.... in front of my boyfriend :)
    I've had so many "When are you due?" jokes while i was in college from my MALE class mates. Women were never cruel like that and never asked, but men found it so funny and amusing to tease me with how huge my belly looked :noway:
  • WrenTheCoffeeAddict
    WrenTheCoffeeAddict Posts: 148 Member
    I was working in a bar, wearing a top that I thought looked really nice. Two old guys at the bar were talking, and one says to me "Doesn't she look so maternal and radiant.." - the other looked confused and said "Mate, she isn't pregnant" - I threw that top out that night.
  • cutie_patootie
    cutie_patootie Posts: 106
    This happened with me 2 days ago. I was feeling a bit better after a bad case of stomach flu and through the unpleasant symptom of feeling extremely gassy (I was too scared to eat anything), I went to the mall and the lady at the security paused before using the metal detector and asked me,"are you pregnant?" I was offended and gave a sharp "no" and before I could say anything further she added, "you mean to say that's what your stomach really looks like?" I was so angry!!!
    Just prior to going to the mall I was feeling happy that I was sticking to the diet and the weighing machine showed that I was 2 kgs lighter! :sad:
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    This happened with me 2 days ago. I was feeling a bit better after a bad case of stomach flu and through the unpleasant symptom of feeling extremely gassy (I was too scared to eat anything), I went to the mall and the lady at the security paused before using the metal detector and asked me,"are you pregnant?" I was offended and gave a sharp "no" and before I could say anything further she added, "you mean to say that's what your stomach really looks like?" I was so angry!!!
    Just prior to going to the mall I was feeling happy that I was sticking to the diet and the weighing machine showed that I was 2 kgs lighter! :sad:

    im not sure if a metal detector has any harmful side effects towards pregnant women so i am willing to give the benefit of the doubt in case they have to cover their *kitten* if they dont ask.

    the follow up question is where i would surely have a problem with. im not saying i have never dug myself a hole and kept on digging but jeesh...
  • raspberryk
    raspberryk Posts: 39 Member
    I went into debenhams when my baby was about oh I don't know 8 months old, I'd lost a little weigh so I was asking about new nursing bras and she said did I mean maternity bra's. Er no, my baby is here, I am not pregnant. She said oh I thought he looked too old to be still feeding and thought you needed ones for your current pregnancy. No No No I am not pregnant. My belly wasn't/isn't even that big I was wearing UK size 14 clothes and I am nearly 5ft8.

    I only ever ask women who have that definite hard round beach ball belly.
    x

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