Dumped because I am fat...what do you think?

It's one thing to not be attracted to overweight people at all -- but this isn't that. Obviously, he likes you enough to date you, but it's really crappy to put a condition on marriage like that.

What a tool!

You should have him read this entire thread. Then dump his *kitten*. Maybe one day he'll get a freakin clue.

I'd talk to your boyfriend about making this a lifestyle change TOGETHER.

HOWEVER, if he is superficial enough to make comments to you about wishing you were "hot" and you believe his family is not supporting his decision to be with you, then you need to run. Run away. Because when you marry the boy, you marry his family too. No one needs that kind of judgment and feeling inferior or disliked. It'll never go away. If he's not willing to "get hot" himself, then he's not worth your time.

I agree with those who said lose weight for yourself - not for anyone else. Nothing ever sticks if you are only doing it because you have to or someone else wants you to.

Oh - and I'd be willing to be if you did get to a point where you felt healthier and more confident in yourself, he'd be the one getting kicked to the curb - not the other way around. You're taking scraps because that's what you think you deserve. He's the one who is going to end up with a sad reality check in the end.

I'd dump him for sure! If you aren't good enough to marry as you are (in his mind,I think you're gorgeous) then he isn't worth it. You don't want to have to feel under pressure for the rest of your life to stay thin fir him. I honestly think that he will end up finding something else he doesn't like or cheating on you with the 'hotter' secretary eventually. I'm so sorry this guy is such a shallow person and has wasted 2 1/2 years of your life!!

Move on AND be grateful that he told you now and not five years later after marriage and kids.
Now as for the dieting; you have to do it for yourself period.

^^^EXACTLY^^^

Run.

Run far away.

That is NOT love.

Run.

My sentiments completely. Shallow Hal.
Have enough self-esteem to know you deserve and can have better.

I have two feelings about this and they are completely contradictory.

1) It's impossible to judge him and what he said and how he said it since none of us were there and we don't know him. I love my husband and I know he loves me but sometimes he approaches difficult conversations in the dumbest possible ways because he's pretty straight forward/blunt about things. Only you know how he said what he said and if he was coming from a shallow place or if he was trying to say something motivational to get you to act. Like, I'll pay for you to have a boob reduction if that'll help get you going. That would be a dumb thing to say, but was he saying it to help himself or to help you? Again, only you know the answer to that. I urge you to be honest with yourself though.

2) Based on what information you did provide, my gut reaction is to end the relationship and move on. Love isn't conditional. As you guys get older you'll both gain weight and lose weight, lose hair, gravity will make everything sink a little, you'll get sick, you'll get better, your interests will change...change is the only thing you can count on in the future. If he thinks you have to be thinner for HIM, he's completely delusional. You're not an accessory. If he wants you to lose weight because he wants you to be healthy so you can have a long life together, you need to talk to him about how he approaches you about this subject. It's ok to be honest that being overweight might scare him, but it's not ok if he just wants you to look the way he thinks you should look. The comment about the surgery freaks me out because that's crazy - surgically altering yourself for him is all kinds of wrong. Surgery is difficult and painful and brings unnecessary risk to your overall health. IF he really cares about your health, he should be open to both of you working out and eating better TOGETHER as a support system. If his whole thing is that you just look better but not actually be healthy, than he's the absolute worst and you should run without looking back.

Honestly, you should talk to him. You should tell him how this made you feel and you should really do some soul searching. We don't know him and you're the one who has to live with the consequences of staying or leaving. Good luck.

In my opinion...even if you do this for him he will find some other fault he dislikes about you.

Take the time now to concentrate on you and get healthy then worry about relationships...they say that relationships tend to happen when you least expect it.

lose weight for yourself. Use this as an eye opening experience. However there are many men that love heavy women, just as there are women that love heavy men. You have to do things for you, not anyone else at this moment.