This may sound evil, but....keeping it real.
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I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
You are obviously going to gain some...but my wife worked out for most of her pregnancy and she maintained a healthy pregnancy weight throughout. Being that she was in very good shape to begin with, it was pretty easy for her to shed the baby weight and get back to her old self. If you're out of shape to begin with, it's much harder.0 -
OP Is evil.0
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I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.
But nowhere did she say that she doesn't want kids because it will make her fat.
The people attacking her did NOT read her words correctly. OP was expressing concern about a lot of hard work being reversed. She didn't say she'd rather LGN than be a mother. Caring about your physical appearance does not make you a bad person (or else every last one of us here is going straight to hell), nor does it make you an unsuitable candidate for parenthood.
Nothing OP said warrants the level of rancor she's getting, here. Everybody needs to crack a cold one and CTFO.0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
I also can't fathom how women allow this to happen. I'm thoroughly grossed out by the thought of conception, carriage, and birth of a child. Then, after all of that sacrifice and pain, you have to be chained to it 24/7 and never truly be independent again. I can't imagine anything worse. But then... I Google before/after pics of women's stomachs and I become truly terrified. I know that a lot of women can "recover" from the damage, but many are not fortunate enough despite their best efforts. If vanity were my only issue, I'd probably be able to overcome it. I have much bigger issues (obviously) than that, though. No kids for me. If you don't want kids either, regardless of your reason(s), there's nothing wrong with that.
You're entitled to your own opinion, for certain. But, as I type, I'm looking at my ten week old. He's in my arms, looking up at me with his big beautiful eyes, smiling a smile that makes his whole face light up, and saying "ah-goo" over and over. Makes my heart melt.
Oh yeah. It's worth it. It may not be to you, but it is to the mothers who are posting.0 -
You can do a fake pregnancy like Beyonce.
Beyonce's pregnancy was fake? lol0 -
I'm working really hard to get fit. By the time I get married and start thinking about having kids I will have gotten my goal body. So after all that work, I can't help but think how bad it would suck to have a baby and gain it all back plus some.
This is the OP that you wrote. Am I missing the part about you being worried about your medical condition? Because all I'm seeing is *having kids vs having a goal body*. Don't be upset at people for correctly reading your own words.
But nowhere did she say that she doesn't want kids because it will make her fat.
The people attacking her did NOT read her words correctly. OP was expressing concern about a lot of hard work being reversed. She didn't say she'd rather LGN than be a mother. Caring about your physical appearance does not make you a bad person (or else every last one of us here is going straight to hell), nor does it make you an unsuitable candidate for parenthood.
Nothing OP said warrants the level of rancor she's getting, here. Everybody needs to crack a cold one and CTFO.
Agree. I lost my weight at about 20 yrs old and kept it off for years. When I became pregnant at 30, YES, I was concerned about how I would look after my son was born. We waited nearly 10 years into our marriage to have him. We planned for him, waited for him, and were absolutely delighted to know he was coming. STILL, with all that said, I was afraid of gaining weight & not being able to lose it. My middle and high school years were miserable, and I didn't want to go back there. So what did I do? I watched my diet and did what my doctor advised re: weight gain. After his birth, as soon as I got the all clear, I got to work on the extra lbs. It can be done. OP, when you are ready in life to have a child, know that you don't have to be overweight/out of shape afterwards.
I don't think it's evil to want to look your best & take care of yourself.0 -
yep, definitely time to start worrying about that stuff now. got to get a jump start on negative thinking
^^Love this!
Anyways, if this is your main concern don't have kids. My kids are worth every stretch mark, laugh line, grey hair and sleepless night.0 -
I cannot believe that this thread is still going. And I especially can't believe the amount of venom that is being thrown at the OP. There is not a woman in this thread who can honestly say that this thought never crossed their minds before having children. If the OP wants to be a mother without sacrificing her body, its entirely possible, and I'm really shocked that more people haven't advocated for adoption here. There are children growing up in the system that will never know the love of a mother. Instead of condemning someone for not wanting to go through the difficult process of childbirth for whatever reason, why not offer something more constructive and providing her information on other options.
There are 7 billion people on this planet already and around 200 million children without parents.
That sounds nice and all, but she isn't getting venom because she doesn't want to have kids. Nobody cares if someone chooses not to have kids. It's that the reason she's worried about having kids reeks of a vain sort of selfishness. A selfishness that may get in the way of raising a child properly, so recommending adoption is not something I'd do at the moment. Granted, she's young and will likely have many changes of mind over the last decade, but until those changes happen, "Don't Have Kids" is solid advice, IMO.
It's not your place to judge someone for having a thought that every woman has at some point. Parenthood is a much bigger sacrifice for a woman to make than the man, and she is pondering the intricacies of that sacrifice. I actually applaud her for taking the time to consider these things before starting a family. A lot of people do not "plan" families anymore. If her motivation is vanity, that isn't any reflection at all on the type of parent she could be.
Adoption is a very long process and, yes, she is young. She stated in her OP "when" she gets married, so obviously, she is a long way away from becoming a mother. And who cares if her reasons are vanity, its possible to love yourself and a child. As a matter of fact, more women could use a little practice in managing both.
This^^
What, exactly is so wrong about a little vanity? (without getting all religious on me, here) Taking pride in your personal appearance and caring about your looks is perfectly natural, and healthy.
To be honest, I am probably the vainest little piece of *kitten* I know. How I feel about myself has no bearing on my child or what kind of mom I am. I adore my little boy. I take excellent care of him and he knows he is loved. After he is changed, fed, dressed and cleaned up in the morning, then I take care of myself. He always comes first, then I come second.0 -
My last pregnancy I was having breathing issues and was on steriods for the last four months. I went from 130 to being 199 the day before she was born ( at 10 lbs 2 oz).I'm only 5'1 so that's a lot of weight on my frame.
It took a long time to get the weight off ( I was 37 when I had her,a "geriatric pregnancy") but I now weigh a little less than pre-pregnancy.
But she was worth all the weight and discomfort.0 -
yep, definitely time to start worrying about that stuff now. got to get a jump start on negative thinking
^^Love this!
Anyways, if this is your main concern don't have kids. My kids are worth every stretch mark, laugh line, grey hair and sleepless night.
Doesn't sound like it is her main concern. If you could have had your kids without the stretch marks and sleepless nights, would you have? Have you ever complained about one of those things to anyone?0 -
To the OP think of it the other way around ...would a child want you as a mother if you are going to be so selfish as to care about yourself before they even come into the world?
If you are so self consumed about yourself before you even get pregnant with me or give birth to me, then, I would prefer that you either
1. get that out of your system now
2. mature a little
3. do both
4. enjoy me
5. get your body back after you have carried me carefully / given birth to me?
6. I will love you no matter what you look like
7. be there forever mummy
8. you can see where this is going can`t you?
Yes, I can see where this is going. Nonexistent child is going to take advantage of mommy's humanity to expertly emotionally manipulate her for some secondary gains.
Don't tell me for a second that every person on this board hasn't wished for something to be easier while still finding it worth it. My career choice was worth it. I wish it paid more. I adore my pets. I wish they were tax deductible or had realistic health insurance.
OP isn't questioning whether or not your children were worth it to you. She's not even questioning whether it's worth it to her. She's just saying it sucks. That somehow makes her worse than not wanting to have morning sickness, hemorrhoids, swollen feet, or leaking breasts? She didn't put a single one of you down. She's feeling proud of her body and a twinge of regret that her body will change dramatically for something she really wants. That is actually sacrifice. If you truly *never* had a thought of your body and how it would change, that doesn't make you the better person. OP having these thoughts and be willing to do it makes her pretty awesome, actually. You can't be brave if you aren't afraid.
Mothers aren't allowed to care about their own bodies now? F that. I want children to know that part of being a human means taking good care of yourself without apology and guilt. Fitness and pride in yourself counts. Obviously, if the choice is between a baby eating and me eating, the kid wins. If there is more than enough to go around, then the kid gets to see what balanced looks like.0 -
I don't get why people are attacking this girl on a fitness website for expressing a fear.
She NEVER said she didn't want kids, actually the OP states what she fears "AFTER GIVING BIRTH" gaining all the weight back after just losing it.
Are you implying that she is the only female who thinks it would suck to gain back all the weight she has lost?
I'm sure she will deal with it, however this weight loss journey is not easy, so maybe she was just thinking out loud how much harder it will be to get it done with children/a child.
Why always find something in every post to go after someone about?0 -
NOT TO BE MEAN BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BABIES JUST BECAUSE YOU GET MARRIED. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN. AND IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS THEN DO THE HEALTH RESEARCH FIRST. IF YOU START OUT WITH HEALTHY HABITS AND KEEP IT UP THROUGH PREGNANCY THERE SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM0
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I had the same thoughts actually. I also think this- if you start now and continue during and after your pregnancy eating better and working out it will all be ok.0
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I haven't read the other responses but my baby is worth every single moment of struggle that I am having to lose the weight. This is coming from a woman who never wanted kids...totally worth it!0
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NOT TO BE MEAN BUT YOU DON'T HAVE TO HAVE BABIES JUST BECAUSE YOU GET MARRIED. MY HUSBAND AND I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO HAVE CHILDREN. AND IF YOU TWO DECIDE TO HAVE KIDS THEN DO THE HEALTH RESEARCH FIRST. IF YOU START OUT WITH HEALTHY HABITS AND KEEP IT UP THROUGH PREGNANCY THERE SHOULDN'T BE A PROBLEM
Lower your voice, Ron.0 -
worth every pound gained. It's hard as hell to get it off, but maybe one day you'll want to go down that road.0
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its worth it! my son just turned one... my profile pic is one year after giving birth, had i not been in good shape, been strong and had healthy habits before pregnancy i would be a fat mess now, and my pregnancy would not have been a pretty thing
just make sure through pregnancy to keep eating healthy and keep exercising! 0 -
I never understand these posts. You put a question to the public forums, you get what you get. I mean, maybe some of the responses are meaner than what you hoped, but surely you didn't expect everyone to pat you on the head and offer you lollipops, did you? Why put the statement out there if you don't want to hear the answers?
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OTT reactions on MFP....whatever next.0
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