My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

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  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
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    Is that Shred at Walmart perhaps? My daughter is 11 and wants to work out with me. Motivation right there!

    Yup...it's around $8
  • 9jenn9
    9jenn9 Posts: 309 Member
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    I haven't read all the replies, so someone may have already made this point. You and your husband need to get a handle on this now. There are ways to "fight" and disagree without low blows and verbal abuse. Get into counseling NOW before the relationship patterns are set. These comments can chip away at your sense of self and your marriage.

    Also, if you have kids in the house, you are modeling relationships for them. Your kids will learn what to accept from other people and how to treat others based on what they live every day. You need to work this out now.
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
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    My 2 cents: You need to address this directly with him, tell him how it's made you feel, and explain to him that you are hoping for support in this journey. Be honest, be raw, and open and talk to him. That's the only way to make these things better. Communication is key. Stifling feelings leads to all kinds of bad things, so deal with it right away.

    Good luck with your journey!
  • dovetail22uk
    dovetail22uk Posts: 339 Member
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    I haven't read all the replies, so someone may have already made this point. You and your husband need to get a handle on this now. There are ways to "fight" and disagree without low blows and verbal abuse. Get into counseling NOW before the relationship patterns are set. These comments can chip away at your sense of self and your marriage.

    Also, if you have kids in the house, you are modeling relationships for them. Your kids will learn what to accept from other people and how to treat others based on what they live every day. You need to work this out now.

    This exactly. I'm actually hoping that, as the OP's first post was in January, she's kicked him out. He sounds like an immature, controlling little runt.

    If momma aint happy, nobody happy.
  • bsuew
    bsuew Posts: 628 Member
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    28 or 8?

    Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

    Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

    The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

    And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.

    I agree with this! There should never be a time that it is ok for ugly names. You don't deserve this.

    I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.
  • xMonroeMisfit
    xMonroeMisfit Posts: 411 Member
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    I'm guessing things haven't really improved since the OP revived this thread 4 months later saying she should have "kicked him in the ovaries"..

    ^ that's what I was thinking. Emotional abuse is still abuse OP. Looks to me you still are taking it.
  • ldrosophila
    ldrosophila Posts: 7,512 Member
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    success and happiness is the best revenge
  • jagh09
    jagh09 Posts: 555 Member
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    that is awful.....and I'd guess that makes your profile pic somewhat inaccurate unless you're documenting the last time you were happy \m/

    jack hole
  • araromi2
    araromi2 Posts: 111 Member
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    Id say take time to cool off...consider the role you played in the argument,what you could have done differently and talk to him. Tell how you feel about the comments he made. Also love yourself at the stage your in...your body may not be the way you want it to be but if you cant accept yourself how can you expect anyone to accept you. Its easy to tear down...rebuilding is the hard part. Marriage is not easy and you two will def have arguments but you have to get to a place in which you can have arguments that don't turn into personal attacks. One day at a time.
  • JScar1964
    JScar1964 Posts: 28 Member
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    OH HELL NO!!!
  • MrsGriffin67
    MrsGriffin67 Posts: 485 Member
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    My mom used to have a saying...

    "An old man's princess and a young man's slave"

    Maybe you should find a gentleman who is older than you to treat you like you deserve to be treated...just sayin'
  • scarrletti_girl
    scarrletti_girl Posts: 479 Member
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    I am trying really hard to bit my lip and not say a bad word about ur husband.

    so all i will say is that YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL and YOU ARE NOT FAT!!!!! I looked at ur pics and you are a stunning young gorgeous girl and to me u are skinny. I think you could get anyone you wanted girl.

    Just saying you shouldnt listen to angry words. I hope you better urself for you! good luck on ur journey.
  • BarbaraC47
    BarbaraC47 Posts: 175 Member
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    I know just how you feel, and its not nice..... you have to get angry, I mean REALLY angry - and then channel it into a positive force to work for you. I managed to lose all my weight before the anger ran out - and I now don't care what anyone says or thinks about me... I am stronger for going through the torments that I have. Please don't forget that YOU are the important one, men come and go (I wish mine would) so get focussed and get moving.

    The very best of luck in your journey - I hope our paths cross again :flowerforyou:
  • Getyourshineon
    Getyourshineon Posts: 114
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    Lose the weight for YOU.. for your health and well being.. Then kick him to the curb!! A wonderful friend once told me that "any man in my life should treat me like precious treasure and with respect". It changed my life.. I put those words where I could see them every day and now I am married to a man that would never in a million years speak to me the way your man spoke to you. Remember, YOU are worthy and deserving of only the best and it will only hurt you in the long run to "settle"! Pick yourself up, dust yourself off and hold your head high. Detox, if you must, and start a program.. increase your exercise and come here for support. But please, please don't starve yourself or let his negativity push you into depression mode or to bet yourself up. You are WOMAN, so ROAR!!!

    Hugs.. friend me if you please :)
  • amandaanderson2786
    amandaanderson2786 Posts: 95 Member
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    no one deserves to be talked to that way! love should be about the person inside not the exterior! we are all going to be old someday and wrinkled and the person you are with should love you for your beautiful soul. what he said was a very disgusting and a very shallow thing to say! i wish i could reach through and give u a hug! hang in there only you know whats best for you
  • Derpes
    Derpes Posts: 2,033 Member
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    People often say things in the heat of battle that they do not mean - communicate how you feel......if he continues to say those types of things then it is a problem.

    People make mistakes - it is how they handle the aftermath that matters.

    Good luck.
  • MercenaryNoetic26
    MercenaryNoetic26 Posts: 2,747 Member
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    24hr fast because you're hurt!? No way :noway:

    Fasting is not a bad thing. However, I don't think a 24hr fast makes any sense considering why you're doing it. It's NOT the solution.

    Try and squash the hurt. Do some research. Look into IPOARM3.0 and Stronglifts. Work hard. Be patient. Eat right. And you will start losing weight the healthy way.

    As for working out the body shame issues, well, that's up to you. Be proud of who you are and set your goals. And I agree with others, kick him hard in the ballz.
  • summery79
    summery79 Posts: 116 Member
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    Tell him that his d*ck is small. The *kitten*.

    Sorry, that wasn't nice. Reflex reaction. But seriously, I gained even more weight than you did after I married, and my husband never spoke to me so disrespectfully. Even now when we look back at my before pictures, he says that I really wasn't that bad (even though I looked like an overstuffed arm chair).
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
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    I love my woman. If I said something like this, I would fear her too. Hell, I'd be afraid to come back home.

    I have enough respect for my loved ones that I wouldn't throw that around nonchalantly. Was he saying this out of anger in the heat of an argument? Or just to be spiteful in his everyday interaction? I know we're only getting half the picture... but I figure if you married him, you would know better than me. It's just that I've never had my wife push my buttons to a point where I would say anything remotely that cruel. I've said wrong things in the middle of an argument and felt sorry for them immediately afterwards.

    Anyways, I think marriage counseling might do some good. There's some tools that I've learned to help cope with life together.

    Getting fit and healthy is a gift you give yourself. Don't do it for him. Eat a sandwich. Log your calories. Do it for yourself.
  • LavenderBouquet
    LavenderBouquet Posts: 736 Member
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    28 or 8?

    Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

    I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.

    ^^ This, big time!

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