My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

That sounds like abuse to me. My husband (and I sure hope most husbands) would never say anything like that. I definitely agree with others that you should seek counseling.

Don't want to call it abuse straight away geez my husband calls me ghetto booty and fat *kitten* all the time and ill just start shaking it in front of him singing your baby got back hahaha its how you deal with it!!!

:flowerforyou: :flowerforyou:

Sounds to me like you need to lose the weight to prove to him that you can always lose weight but he can never take back such hurtful words. I know you said you don't want to husband bash so you can look at it this way....when we are angry we tend to speak the truth before we can stop ourselves, so if you look at it that way, then you know he thinks you need to lose weight. But what do you think? While you can use other's views of you as a catalyst to lose weight, you should realize you won't ever achieve it unless you are doing it for you. I say just use his words as ammunition to become a hotter woman than he deserves.

Oh and starving yourself will do nothing but hurt your weight loss goals, it kills your metabolism! If it is an emotional response then try to steer your emotional response to choosing healthier foods instead of no food at all.

Love this response! It really does sum things up. 1. you have to do this for you 2. fasting is not the most healthy way to go about things and can def KILL your metabolism 3. people tend to say things they truly are feeling when they are mad.

I will add that, yeah maybe he thinks you need to loose weight but there is no reason for him to have been so mean. He could have brought this up to you at another time and in another way. Destryoing yourself esteem is not just wrong but it is def NOT something someone does if they love you so maybe you have some thinking to do..

Best wishes! :flowerforyou:

You've only been married 4 months?? You need to nip this in the bud NOW. Do this for yourself and your daughters! Your husband should never ever ever speak to you that way, and he needs to know that. And don't make him out to be better than he is - if thats him in your pics he certainly can NOT get any girl he wants, I don't care how old he is. YOU are beautiful!

Did you tell him he was an @zzhole? Seriously, what's wrong with a person who would say that? Anyway, don't fast. Just eat less and work out, and you'll start losing weight. Make sure you're losing the weight for you, thought. Not because you think that'll change his attitude or opinion of you.

Is that Shred at Walmart perhaps? My daughter is 11 and wants to work out with me. Motivation right there!

Yup...it's around $8

My 2 cents: You need to address this directly with him, tell him how it's made you feel, and explain to him that you are hoping for support in this journey. Be honest, be raw, and open and talk to him. That's the only way to make these things better. Communication is key. Stifling feelings leads to all kinds of bad things, so deal with it right away.

Good luck with your journey!

28 or 8?

Calling someone names isn't acceptable, ever. Even in anger.

Your husband sounds like he has some issues of his own. What he is doing is abusive & manipulative-and its working.

The only advice I can suggest is to see a counselor/therapist-even if its on your own. You do not deserve that treatment.

And if you'll notice, I haven't mentioned anything about weightloss. There's a reason for that. His comments have NOTHING to do with your weight, and everything to do with controlling you.

I agree with this! There should never be a time that it is ok for ugly names. You don't deserve this.

I concur. Proving to him that you lose the weight or whatever has nothing to do with it. Fat or thin, he should be your biggest supporter and uplifter, not the opposite.

success and happiness is the best revenge

Id say take time to cool off...consider the role you played in the argument,what you could have done differently and talk to him. Tell how you feel about the comments he made. Also love yourself at the stage your in...your body may not be the way you want it to be but if you cant accept yourself how can you expect anyone to accept you. Its easy to tear down...rebuilding is the hard part. Marriage is not easy and you two will def have arguments but you have to get to a place in which you can have arguments that don't turn into personal attacks. One day at a time.

My mom used to have a saying...

"An old man's princess and a young man's slave"

Maybe you should find a gentleman who is older than you to treat you like you deserve to be treated...just sayin'

I know just how you feel, and its not nice..... you have to get angry, I mean REALLY angry - and then channel it into a positive force to work for you. I managed to lose all my weight before the anger ran out - and I now don't care what anyone says or thinks about me... I am stronger for going through the torments that I have. Please don't forget that YOU are the important one, men come and go (I wish mine would) so get focussed and get moving.

The very best of luck in your journey - I hope our paths cross again :flowerforyou:

no one deserves to be talked to that way! love should be about the person inside not the exterior! we are all going to be old someday and wrinkled and the person you are with should love you for your beautiful soul. what he said was a very disgusting and a very shallow thing to say! i wish i could reach through and give u a hug! hang in there only you know whats best for you

24hr fast because you're hurt!? No way :noway:

Fasting is not a bad thing. However, I don't think a 24hr fast makes any sense considering why you're doing it. It's NOT the solution.

Try and squash the hurt. Do some research. Look into IPOARM3.0 and Stronglifts. Work hard. Be patient. Eat right. And you will start losing weight the healthy way.

As for working out the body shame issues, well, that's up to you. Be proud of who you are and set your goals. And I agree with others, kick him hard in the ballz.

I love my woman. If I said something like this, I would fear her too. Hell, I'd be afraid to come back home.

I have enough respect for my loved ones that I wouldn't throw that around nonchalantly. Was he saying this out of anger in the heat of an argument? Or just to be spiteful in his everyday interaction? I know we're only getting half the picture... but I figure if you married him, you would know better than me. It's just that I've never had my wife push my buttons to a point where I would say anything remotely that cruel. I've said wrong things in the middle of an argument and felt sorry for them immediately afterwards.

Anyways, I think marriage counseling might do some good. There's some tools that I've learned to help cope with life together.

Getting fit and healthy is a gift you give yourself. Don't do it for him. Eat a sandwich. Log your calories. Do it for yourself.