Guys please explain..

...The Male Code of Conduct

When guys are with a group of guys (work, sports etc.), what is the ultimate goal and what do you do/not do to achieve that goal?

depends what the group is doing, you mean at a bar? just hanging out with the fellas and probably trying to have some type of sexual relation with one of the women at said bar

How do your brains work?

i cant speak for anyone else, everyone is different. mine has an automatic turn a serious answer into something sarcastic. i purge any pertinent information that can be used for later (phone numbers, important dates etc...) for vague 80s references and lyrics to crappy songs and it also has stored memories about various friends that are so trivial and non-essential that my friends think i make them up

Is is really all about "winning"? The competitive drive?

for me personally it is really hard to lose on purpose. whether its the basketball games we play each week or games with my friends kids.

And the real point of my post: how does this carry over into your relationship with your wife/girlfriend? Or does it?

it doesnt as my partner is currently rosie, but things not mentioned about my brain is i cant just lie to a woman to get something. im honest about what i want and what i think and that hasnt gotten me any lasting relationships but personally i find it better than being a guy who uses all the lines to get what he wants only to grow tired after he gets it and moves on

To say of what is that it is not, or of what is not that it is, is false, while to say of what is that it is, and of what is not that it is not, is true.

*****any bros caught violating rule 1 of the bro code will have their bro card revoked immediately - no access to brotein, broscientology, no broceptions***** \m/

^^This^^

you will be placed on immediate brobation until such time as your broformance can be signed off by your local brosician \m/

my brosician just looked at my broficency reports. no broblem, I'm good to bro.

You cannot reduce the male psyche to a set of stereotypical behaviors.

QFT. I'm not saying the OP is guilty of this particular behavior, but very often when I see questions like this, the underlying thought process is one of "My gender (or gender identity) is nuanced, complex, and too individualized to be boiled down to a pat answer. The other gender, on the other hand, is EASY to understand because they're just silly [insert term for male or female child]."

...The Male Code of Conduct

When guys are with a group of guys (work, sports etc.), what is the ultimate goal and what do you do/not do to achieve that goal?

How do your brains work?

Is is really all about "winning"? The competitive drive?

And the real point of my post: how does this carry over into your relationship with your wife/girlfriend? Or does it?

Might want to watch "The Guy Code" on MTV. lol

How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
What response might that evoke?

It's still hard to say. In many cases, it will depend on the group. In some scenarios, giving each other sh**t is a way of testing each other out. Sometimes, depending on the nature of the group, the response will be to fire back in kind and it becomes a kind of mental / verbal sparring.

For example, a nickname, which might be less than pleasant, can be a test of whether or not you can "hang tough". If you're not willing to endure some ribbing among the group, they don't expect you'll hang around when things become truly bad. Sometimes, it's a rite of passage because it means you've been around enough for them to have material to work with or to even bother thinking up a name. (In my case, I was christned "Peggy Sue" by a squadmate back in training in part due to my quite masculine, a 6'2", 220 lb bruiser physique. In response, I casually rested my elbow on top of his head to remind him who the "big dog" really was, kept the conversation going, and I let it roll off my back. Sure, the nickname stuck, but they knew I wasn't the type to go off and lose my cool, and it became an ironic nickname, not a derogatory one.)



Now... if "the limit" has been breached and the line has been crossed, my experience is that it's basically settled then and there. This can be in two ways. One can be breaking away from the group / situation and that is it. The other is they will verbally or physically fight. I have not seen too many cases where the insulted individual retreats to carry on an ongoing "guerilla" campaign.


I will admit, what follows is a bit of a biased view, but I think it shows some perspective: In High School, my male friends and I used to feel safe with our way of doing things. If we had a conflict, we settled it, verbally or physically everything was laid on the table. We'd have our fight, someone would win, someone would lose, or there'd be a stalemate, and that would be that. You won, lost, or tied almost as soon as the issue came up. But then we'd hear some of our female friends who *seemed* (remember, this is according to the view of a teenaged male) like they would stretch things out and scheme about how to get the offender back. We honestly didn't know how the girls managed to live through High School, not knowing if someone was carrying an active grudge with an intent for revenge.

What about the guy who loses?
No "guerilla" campaign from him, so how does he deal with it?

Deal with what? The issue is settled, it's in the past.

How about if a guy feels disrepsected, put down or insulted in front of other guys? (by a guy)
What response might that evoke?

It's still hard to say. In many cases, it will depend on the group. In some scenarios, giving each other sh**t is a way of testing each other out. Sometimes, depending on the nature of the group, the response will be to fire back in kind and it becomes a kind of mental / verbal sparring.

For example, a nickname, which might be less than pleasant, can be a test of whether or not you can "hang tough". If you're not willing to endure some ribbing among the group, they don't expect you'll hang around when things become truly bad. Sometimes, it's a rite of passage because it means you've been around enough for them to have material to work with or to even bother thinking up a name. (In my case, I was christned "Peggy Sue" by a squadmate back in training in part due to my quite masculine, a 6'2", 220 lb bruiser physique. In response, I casually rested my elbow on top of his head to remind him who the "big dog" really was, kept the conversation going, and I let it roll off my back. Sure, the nickname stuck, but they knew I wasn't the type to go off and lose my cool, and it became an ironic nickname, not a derogatory one.)



Now... if "the limit" has been breached and the line has been crossed, my experience is that it's basically settled then and there. This can be in two ways. One can be breaking away from the group / situation and that is it. The other is they will verbally or physically fight. I have not seen too many cases where the insulted individual retreats to carry on an ongoing "guerilla" campaign.


I will admit, what follows is a bit of a biased view, but I think it shows some perspective: In High School, my male friends and I used to feel safe with our way of doing things. If we had a conflict, we settled it, verbally or physically everything was laid on the table. We'd have our fight, someone would win, someone would lose, or there'd be a stalemate, and that would be that. You won, lost, or tied almost as soon as the issue came up. But then we'd hear some of our female friends who *seemed* (remember, this is according to the view of a teenaged male) like they would stretch things out and scheme about how to get the offender back. We honestly didn't know how the girls managed to live through High School, not knowing if someone was carrying an active grudge with an intent for revenge.

Guy code members would NEVER use this many words.

I really saw the bro-code when my son played High School football. Even after he graduated, with those guys it still exist. It was actually quite cool. I really respected them for it. Of course, I am sure it is different as men grow older. But, its a good thing. Men sometimes need to be with men without women and women need to be women with out men. At least it works for me.

Interesting question. I would say the "male code of conduct" runs different in different social gatherings, i.e. work friends, real life friends, long term friends, etc. and with in those gatherings, it depends on what you are doing. Example, a group of guys I work with act quite different when we are at work versus on the golf course when we can "cut loose". What ever the case may be, the oft mentioned "bro code" is alive and well for sure in what ever gathering you are in when you know each other. Kind of like the Vegas saying, what happens there stays there so to speak.

Is that really that much different that the female code of conduct?

Also, I can not say if this really has anything to do with what your real question was?? lol

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Guy code members would NEVER use this many words.
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Yeah... I'm the son of 2 lawyers, so I can get wordy. That led to my role as the squad's storyteller / explainer. "Well, Major, the whole issue with Jones standing on top of the dorm in his underwear, covered in flour and singing the theme to Captaini Planet at 0200 hours really has a very logical explanation...."