My Online BF Dumped Me Because I'm Fat :( :( :(
Replies
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Can't say I read all 17 pages of this fantasy relationship but what I did read gives me the creeps.
An internet psycho predator combined with an insecure gullible girl is a Hollywood script in the making.
Don't believe it.
The most important part that you probably missed is the lounge singer singing headbanging music
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWnLyTxSQiY 0 -
Seriously, don't mean to offend and I'm sorry this happened to you, but really falling in love with a guy of the Internet who you have never met before, treat this as a lucky escape and try not to be so gullible next time (harsh I know but bluntly true).
Live and learn and move on and don't do it again.0 -
Guys, seriously, I have been looking for answers that this guy cannot give me. I cannot tell the whole story to my family or friends cuz it's embarrassing. I am here to ask other people's opinion. There are people here who give advice that really make sense and actually make me feel better. But I noticed, the people here who actually say I made this up are the ones who have been "trolling", judging and accusing. And what's their basis? The vodka? The margarita? The wet wipes? I know it is so easy to talk to people like you're some bad*ss over the internet. But I hope if you got nothing good to say then please just keep your words to yourselves. Some people here are just so mean and obviously trying so hard to sound smart and tough. I hope at least these people feel better after they do this.
I just wanted to make sandwiches, not war.
Sorry =(
Make Waffles, Not War!
(I own a tshirt with this on it)
Where did you get it? I LOVE waffles.0 -
Your online boyfriend is a *kitten*. You have a right to be treated with dignity and respect simply for being a human being. This guy needs help, and as others on this thread noted, may have PTSD or some other kind of mental problem. This is not a YOU problem. I think you should smash his Iphone and leave it at the front desk along with some cards for some therapists. Leave a note telling him everything he did/said, and tell him he broke his own Iphone for good measure. I'm sorry you had to go through this bull.0
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Seriously, don't mean to offend and I'm sorry this happened to you, but really falling in love with a guy of the Internet who you have never met before, treat this as a lucky escape and try not to be so gullible next time (harsh I know but bluntly true).
Live and learn and move on and don't do it again.
It doesn't always turn out that way. Granted it does ALOT but there are rare occassions. I met my fiance online and we were both who we told each other we were.
Just let it go OP. I agree that it wasn't your weight or anything else about you. Sounds like dude has issues. And don't break his iphone, that's not going to make you feel better, be the bigger person. He is the one that will regret this when he mans up and gets his head outta his butt lol0 -
Im reading this to the bitter end... you guys are keeping me entertained on this boring work day. Thanks for the laughs.
:laugh: :devil:
I have about 12 pages to catch up on. I quit after 5, but this is too funny :P0 -
No wonder he was cryingAlso my main question is who makes margaritas with vodka? That should have been the sign to tell you something was askew.
You didn't request Nickelback, did you?
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^^ Thank you. Yes I have been trying to really stay away from him. Even if he still sends me messages everyday, I know it's just because of his phone. I agree with you and the other people here, he must have a psychological disorder or something. Because I had not really seen anyone do something like that in public.
Thanks again.
Why do you still have his phone? Shouldn't you have dropped that off by now at the front desk?
Why would I go back to that hotel after he embarrassed me? Why couldn't he make an effort to get his phone back? He knows where I live, he knows where I work.0 -
And your friend who vouched for the guy is still with the husband who slept with the guy's wife? Not someone whose judgement I would trust....
No, they have separated.0 -
It's not the fat! He has issues! He needs help! Because it sounds like you are a sweetheart and he just had no excuse for treating you the way he did! Sounds like he is not over the ex also!
-I suggest you delete everything that reminds you of him. (block his *kitten*)
-Start going to the gym and eat healthy.
-Concentrate on what makes you happy!
I dunno know but you are too nice...If a guy would've treated me like that hahaha I just wish! They'd get kicked in the
Good luck and don't let a man or anybody bring you down chica.
Thank you so much. ♥0 -
His email on April 23:
Im sorry for calling security but u should have really let me go and deal with this on my own. The fact u were chasing me scared me as any man. I never been chased like that before.
Stop saying u will not recover. There is only one choice in life and that is to go up and stop bringing yourself down. I don't want to date seriously for awhile. I will just wait for a sign thats its time. I will prob go to boracay r bohol to just do homework an hang out at the beach.
Good luck and get stronger. Stop looking for Mr. Perfect, cause u really asked alot of me. Just FYI. And keep going ot the gym. Im actually gonna try to lose weight myself cause now i have all these mirrors in the hotel and I dont like being this big. Hard to even find a pair of shorts my size.
We can keep in email contact and stuff.
That is definitely what we are reading in your story as well. Considering this story is true, you are extremely insecure and naive, to prioritize a man you've never met in real life... You're better off without him and you need to start working on yourself before you ever find someone else. Just like he said, too clingy. Love yourself first.0 -
I don't mean to insult at all, so if it comes across that way I am sorry. But I feel like you are being Catfish-ed by this dude. And if you don't know what that is, just consider it being trolled. Have you ever seen any proof that he is in the military still? My reasoning is as follows
1-- Because I agree with the others, my fiance was in the Army and he had to do a crap TON of working out to be cleared for deployment and he was 225 at 5'9 at the time.
2-- It doesn't matter where you got married, you can still get divorced in the US if you meet their residency requirements. Just because he got married in the Phillipines doesn't mean he can't get divorced in the US.
I hope you get answers or closures, but I truly believe he is playing you.
Yes, I am starting to feel that I was being lied to.0 -
Everything seems great until things get real. I know I probably sound harsh but that's the reality of online dating. People FEEL close to each other online as was felt between you two. And to some extent that is real but it's not full presence. And most of the time the online half presence actually allows people to get closer than they would otherwise. that's why I think it's dangerous. people's feelings clearly get hurt. I hate to say anything about online is a fantasy because its not. but as you experiences, the fantasy is in the hopes and plans you have with each other for the future that you formulate during your online relationship.
everything seems great until it gets real.
Now the reality is that you both got drunk and saw each other in real life. perhaps for him the reality of his situation came upon him. but your experience was a wish fulfillment, you had hopes and plans of meeting and it became real.
so what you need to do now is STAY in reality. what did you see out of him in terms of character? how did he make you feel saying those things about your weight? what about the rejection? While it is tempting to go back and remember how he made you feel online, the goal was full presence and you got it and what you saw was rather ugly. use this experience going forward, let it teach you about the dangers of emotional closeness in online dating. it's paradoxical that people think what they post online doesn't "stay" online for "everyone to see" and yet "if it's not on (facebook) it's not real". Try to stay in reality and your happiness in the PRESENT will predict your future, and you won't have to sit around waiting for it. good luck.
You have a strong point. Thank you.0 -
Your online boyfriend is a *kitten*. You have a right to be treated with dignity and respect simply for being a human being. This guy needs help, and as others on this thread noted, may have PTSD or some other kind of mental problem. This is not a YOU problem. I think you should smash his Iphone and leave it at the front desk along with some cards for some therapists. Leave a note telling him everything he did/said, and tell him he broke his own Iphone for good measure. I'm sorry you had to go through this bull.
Thanks so much. ♥0 -
Just because she met someone online doesnt mean it wasnt real, people saying get a real boyfriend. People met online and fall in love all the time. Just because she met him online doesnt mean he is a freak, He obviously does have issues ...big ones and i agree that you should just forget him. Its hard but rather you learn now that he has problems. I really really dont think it had anything to do with your weight.
You concentrate on you, losing weight for you, not for any man. You will find love and they will love you no matter what your weight is. I met my husband online and we have been together for 8 years.0 -
His email on April 23:
Im sorry for calling security but u should have really let me go and deal with this on my own. The fact u were chasing me scared me as any man. I never been chased like that before.
Stop saying u will not recover. There is only one choice in life and that is to go up and stop bringing yourself down. I don't want to date seriously for awhile. I will just wait for a sign thats its time. I will prob go to boracay r bohol to just do homework an hang out at the beach.
Good luck and get stronger. Stop looking for Mr. Perfect, cause u really asked alot of me. Just FYI. And keep going ot the gym. Im actually gonna try to lose weight myself cause now i have all these mirrors in the hotel and I dont like being this big. Hard to even find a pair of shorts my size.
We can keep in email contact and stuff.
That is definitely what we are reading in your story as well. Considering this story is true, you are extremely insecure and naive, to prioritize a man you've never met in real life... You're better off without him and you need to start working on yourself before you ever find someone else. Just like he said, too clingy. Love yourself first.
He was the one who was so clingy when we were still dating online. If he didn't hear from me for 30 mins, he would call nonstop. OK this is stupid, at first I thought it was sweet. If we had a fight that lasted more than a day, he would send flowers, would call nonstop, email, beg. I tried a lot of times to break up with him because he was still married. But he always promised me he was working on it and getting a divorce decree in the States, etc. He would always make promises that were too good to resist. And because I honestly cared about him and he really meant so much to me, I always ended up staying with him. I know this is stupid what I did. But I had so much faith in that guy. And this is exactly why I feel like cr*p right now. I never ever imagined he would do something like this to me or to anyone. I never saw signs of him capable of doing things like this. I trusted him too much. And yes I admit, it was my biggest mistake.0 -
---You have no idea if it's because of your weight. Even if it was, eff him girl.
--He's a nutcase.
--I've been to Iraq as an American soldier, twice, and I would NEVER treat ANYONE like that. It screws you up in the head quite a bit, but that doesn't mean you can't show common decency.
--He was right, though, that you should not have chased him. If he leaves without you, screw him. You are a lady, have some self respect.
--Give his phone to the front desk. Show a little class, and that you dont' have time for his bs. Yes it is immature of him not to make the effort to get it back, but you can only help your own actions not his.
--Once when I was in college (7 years ago), I fell in love with a soldier stationed in Germany and deployed to Iraq. We chatted online for over 3 years casually, then started talking more often when I broke up with my boyfriend. We talked online for hours every day for over a year, using webcams, and talked on the phone. He was from where I was originally and was coming home for Christmas. I met him twice, and he showed me an amazing, romantic time, candles, jacuzzi, steak dinner, just blew my mind. We made love and he told me how amazingly beautiful I was, and I was completely infatuated. He told me he'd come back for my birthday in February. I lost 20 lbs in 2 months and worked out every day. The night before my birthday he was onlien and said he needed sleep before he drove down. I asked if he'd seen the weather report. He said 'yeah looks bad, why are you thinking i shouldn't come?" and i said "of course i want to see you! But I'm going to let you use discretion, too." And he said "okay never mind then." and immediately logged off, and DIDN'T TALK TO ME AGAIN FOR OVER A MONTH. And it was casual, like nothing had happened. I spent my 22nd birthday alone, crying in the dark, with the computer on, willing him to pop up and say he was on the way. Seven years, he's still on my facebook, and my yahoo, and you know what? i've never gotten an explanation.
But you know what else? I'm stronger because of it, and, while I"m okay with MEETING someone from the internet to date, you definitely shouldn't "date" ON the internet. My current boyfriend, we met through a dating site, but it was him messaging me on there inviting me to a hockey game, and we met there the next day and never used the internet since.
Find a boyfriend near you you'll be so much happier, and more sane.
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Just because she met someone online doesnt mean it wasnt real, people saying get a real boyfriend. People met online and fall in love all the time. Just because she met him online doesnt mean he is a freak, He obviously does have issues ...big ones and i agree that you should just forget him. Its hard but rather you learn now that he has problems. I really really dont think it had anything to do with your weight.
You concentrate on you, losing weight for you, not for any man. You will find love and they will love you no matter what your weight is. I met my husband online and we have been together for 8 years.
Happy to know there are still success stories of couples who met online. Thank you for your reply.0 -
Seriously, don't mean to offend and I'm sorry this happened to you, but really falling in love with a guy of the Internet who you have never met before, treat this as a lucky escape and try not to be so gullible next time (harsh I know but bluntly true).
Live and learn and move on and don't do it again.
The above is what I previously wrote.
My response is not having a dig at online dating, I met my fiancé online, therefore speaking from experience you can meet someone online and love the idea of them, however you can't fall in love with that person until you have met and spent time together.0 -
This guy totally reminds me of my ex. First one way, seeming so sweet, but get some alcohol in them & they turn into a complete psychotic nutcase that doesn't make any sense about anything and pulls random stuff to say & yell out of thin air. And I'm sure our mutual friends would describe him as "sweet" too. People are nuts sometimes, truly nuts, whether online or in real life.
Be glad he's gone, be VERY GLAD.0 -
I"m okay with MEETING someone from the internet to date, you definitely shouldn't "date" ON the internet. My current boyfriend, we met through a dating site, but it was him messaging me on there inviting me to a hockey game, and we met there the next day and never used the internet since.
Find a boyfriend near you you'll be so much happier, and more sane.
THIS is the point of the advice to not date someone on the internet. You don't know someone from letters, phone calls, e-mails etc. Unless you're content to have a relationship in your head.
This thread is the proverbial train wreck. It's horrific but we can't stop looking. Mea culpa.0 -
I'm still a little scared at the OP stating she was scared he'd escape from her.
Really..... hand back his phone...otherwise your down for theft & leave him the hell alone or your down for stalking as well.
Escape?????? No wonder he looked like he wanted to leave & on his own.0 -
Guys the OP isn't looking for advice or support on the "fat" thing. She never mentions it when she comes back. Truth is, she put it on her title because this is a fitness site and a) she knew she'd get a ton of attention that way and b) um, this is a fitness site not a relationship problem site.
The OP, for all her desperation, is a tad manipulative.0 -
Honestly, meeting someone on line then going to meet them in person scares the crap out of me. It sounds like a dangerous situation all around.
I met my husband the old fashioned way-- in college. We will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary tomorrow. If something were to happen to us and we weren't together anymore, I would STILL not meet and date ANYONE I met online. It just creeps me out, and it's not for ME.0 -
Honestly, meeting someone on line then going to meet them in person scares the crap out of me. It sounds like a dangerous situation all around.
I met my husband the old fashioned way-- in college. We will be celebrating our 23rd wedding anniversary tomorrow. If something were to happen to us and we weren't together anymore, I would STILL not meet and date ANYONE I met online. It just creeps me out, and it's not for ME.
Wow. I met my husband on the phone. On a phone line that was meant as a pick up place. It was the 1st time I called, her was the 1st person I spoke to. I asked him to marry me the very next day...... we spoke only on the phone for 3 days..... met in person on the 4th day & got married a month later. 17 years this year.
Lucky for you meeting your one in college, you are lucky he was not a rapist/murderer/or worse ...cause you just never know.0 -
When dating someone online, there is a fine line between being obsessed and being in love. 9 times out of 10, you think you are in love but you really are just addicted to the attention and the way the other person makes you feel. That is why it is so easy for people to get "Catfished".0
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Can't say I read all 17 pages of this fantasy relationship but what I did read gives me the creeps.
An internet psycho predator combined with an insecure gullible girl is a Hollywood script in the making.
Don't believe it.
I totally agree, get outside, breathe some fresh air and meet "real" people
Minus the internet you already have Twilight.0 -
As somone in the military, a person cannot be that heavy without getting kicked out so he was lying about something. You are better off.0
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To me, it really sounds like he was in it when it wasn't "real" but bring with a flesh and blood woman scared the crap out of him. Move on!
Jan0 -
dude sounds crazy, i dont think it was you. But maybe you should find a dude in real life to date instead of on the internet. Bet it goes much better.
I also don't think hes in the military at all. You cant really be overweight there. My friend went to the marines last year and he had to get in shape before theyd even send him to boot camp.0
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