Husband's attitude
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Personally, I think it's rude and tacky to bring food you have purchased elsewhere into a restaurant. Maybe that's why he's upset. Maybe he thinks it is poor etiquette.
I agree.
HUH?..ok
I don't know if somebody said this. But had a friend that had the bypass surgery,when the weight started falling off her husband started getting rude. He was trying to get her to eat all the foods that she didn't need to eat.
Bottom line was he was getting jealous, other men started to notice her. He felt that she was going to get small and leave him. When she was larger he had not problem thinking nobody wanted her. He was also overweight (don't know about your husband) but he could feel that way.
So, you can confirm that you're not going nowhere, no matter how small you get you're not going anywhere.
OR
Tell that joker that he needs to MAN UP! Put his big boy pants an drop a few pounds himself.0 -
At the end of the day its YOUR CHOICE what u want to put into your body. I will go out for family meals and just drink diet coke. Not because i am trying to be a pain in the *kitten*. Its because my body now craves and likes different foods. Now if i went out and ate pizza it makes me feel like crap. Lies heavy on my stomach and gives me heartburn. I do however LOVE pizza but it was a habbit i had to break. Same as chocolate you crave it like mad for a week when u deprive yourself, then the cravings stop but as soon as you have it again you start the cravings all over again. Luckily in the UK pizza hut places have an immense salad bar and most of the chinese buffet places have sushi and salads and things i can eat that don't repulse me or make me feel ill. This is YOUR journey and if you want to lose 4lb this week then u will do it. Your husband should support you regardless. You will end up not wanting to go out to eat at all. If you want to lose 4lb more then you want a slice of pizza then what right does anyone have to say your wrong?
Fact is if we had all said no more then feeling brow beaten into eating junk in the first place no one would be here trying to loose the LB and extra fat.0 -
Personally, I think it's rude and tacky to bring food you have purchased elsewhere into a restaurant. Maybe that's why he's upset. Maybe he thinks it is poor etiquette.
I agree.
Ummm....it's pizza hut....who cares? We're not talking fine dining here. YOU are more important than what the folks at Pizza Hut think!
AND if even the case...your hubby should have said: "Baby, lets to to a restaurant where we can both enjoy our dinner" - plenty of freaking places that have both Pizza and Salad. My husband would have...matter of fact we went out yesterday and he asked me a couple of times if I was comfortable with that since he KNOWS this is IMPORTANT to me.
Most places would ask her to kindly not consume the food she brought, or leave. Besides, good manners can be used in other environments than fine dining establishments. I don't understand why people think that their fitness/weight loss goals are so much more important than societal norms.0 -
I'm not sure why he sounds so angry about it. Have you considered just getting a side salad from pizza hut and eating it with one slice of pizza. That will help you fill up better, and everyone can enjoy their meal.
I just looked at Pizza Hut's website. No salads mentioned. They have a Veggie-lovers Pizza.
However, some cannot enjoy just ONE slice of pizza (we have one of those in my family).0 -
Social norms? If you go to a pizza joint and you have a wheat/flour intolerance and they offer no alternative should the person with the allergy starve? Or eat whats on offer and make themselves ill? Or would it be ok for them to bring their own?0
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Social norms? If you go to a pizza joint and you have a wheat/flour intolerance and they offer no alternative should the person with the allergy starve? Or eat whats on offer and make themselves ill? Or would it be ok for them to bring their own?
You don't go to a pizza joint.
But we aren't talking about a food intolerance. We are talking about a preference.0 -
Social norms? If you go to a pizza joint and you have a wheat/flour intolerance and they offer no alternative should the person with the allergy starve? Or eat whats on offer and make themselves ill? Or would it be ok for them to bring their own?
You don't go to a pizza joint.
But we aren't talking about a food intolerance. We are talking about a preference.
So the family of the person with the intolerance would be sympathetic and select a place where the sufferer can go and eat? But because healthy eating is a personal preference and not essential in some peoples eyes then the healthy eater has to suck it up and eat shyte because they say so.0 -
Social norms? If you go to a pizza joint and you have a wheat/flour intolerance and they offer no alternative should the person with the allergy starve? Or eat whats on offer and make themselves ill? Or would it be ok for them to bring their own?
You don't go to a pizza joint.
But we aren't talking about a food intolerance. We are talking about a preference.
So the family of the person with the intolerance would be sympathetic and select a place where the sufferer can go and eat? But because healthy eating is a personal preference and not essential in some peoples eyes then the healthy eater has to suck it up and eat shyte because they say so.
My issue is bringing your own food into a restaurant. Of course her husband should have been willing to compromise, but that isn't what I'm talking about. Time and time again I read about people on this site who think it is okay to bring their own food to family gatherings or into restaurants. It isn't. It's incredibly rude.0 -
Social norms? If you go to a pizza joint and you have a wheat/flour intolerance and they offer no alternative should the person with the allergy starve? Or eat whats on offer and make themselves ill? Or would it be ok for them to bring their own?
You don't go to a pizza joint.
But we aren't talking about a food intolerance. We are talking about a preference.
So the family of the person with the intolerance would be sympathetic and select a place where the sufferer can go and eat? But because healthy eating is a personal preference and not essential in some peoples eyes then the healthy eater has to suck it up and eat shyte because they say so.
My issue is bringing your own food into a restaurant. Of course her husband should have been willing to compromise, but that isn't what I'm talking about. Time and time again I read about people on this site who think it is okay to bring their own food to family gatherings or into restaurants. It isn't. It's incredibly rude.
Well if they don't cater for your needs (whatever they are being allergy or personal preference) then I don't think its rude at all. Would any1 who invites a vegetarian to a bbq that only served meat be offended if they brought a veggie burger or would they rather feel embarrased that the person has to sit and watch everyone else eat?0 -
Sounds like my mom....you know pizzahut has a salad bar right?Husband wants to meet my daughter and her SO at Pizza Hut for dinner. The pizza he wants (the Crazy cheesy crust pepperoni pizza) is 390 cals/slice. To me--not worth the cals for the amount of food. Frankly, I will still be hungry. So I asked if we could stop at Subway on the way and I would get a chicken salad--150 cals for a filling meal. Pizza Hut will not care if I bring a salad--if they even noticed. I do not mind not eating pizza. He threw a fit. Said I don't need to diet all the time and can eat a pizza--it won't hurt me. No, it won't hurt me--but I will feel more deprived with 1 piece when I would want 2 or 3. I have lost a lot of weight--not as fast as I would like because we do eat out a lot but I try to pick a healthy calorie conscious meal when we do eat out. I still have 75 pounds to go but more important to me I want to lose 4 pounds to get out of the 200's. I absolutely cannot remember the last time I weighed under 200 pounds. This is so important to me. So now he says if I can't eat pizza he is going to cancel and we will just stay home. Laying on the guilt. And now being overall nasty. Also said "why don't you just do an hour exercise and burn some extra calories so you can enjoy pizza." If I am going to do that I want the extra calories burned to go toward the 4 pounds I want off. Pizza is just so not worth it to me. Am I being selfish?0 -
I'm not sure why he sounds so angry about it. Have you considered just getting a side salad from pizza hut and eating it with one slice of pizza. That will help you fill up better, and everyone can enjoy their meal.
I just looked at Pizza Hut's website. No salads mentioned. They have a Veggie-lovers Pizza.
However, some cannot enjoy just ONE slice of pizza (we have one of those in my family).
They have a garden salad and a chicken caesar salad. I know because I've ordered them.0 -
Not selfish at all!! Im in the same boat with you but I would suggest for you to ask your daughter to pick you up a salad. It seems pizza hut should have a salad or something!! Stick to the game plan...My fiance explained that he feels punished when I don't eat what he wants and in return I feel punished being the same weight so I would go and don't eat it!!! Only eat it if you want it0
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Not all of them.Sounds like my mom....you know pizzahut has a salad bar right?0 -
It's your daughter.
Meet her and her partner and let him sulk at home.
This is, of course, assuming that your pizza place doesn't offer salad itself. Most do. And then your husband could ask for a doggie bag to have the rest of the pizza himself.0 -
Back to OP
this sounds more like the emotional aspect of the food, and the socializing , thant the pizza, did you guys used to go out and eat more ? i know other times i have tried to lose weight , when everyone was not on board it was hard, this time i am so LUCKY everyone in the house is on board, and we all are eating smarter.
it may be he feels like youre drawing"attention" to his less than stellar eating habits, or that your need to eat"special" and he doesnt want it ..0 -
I just looked at your profile, and I notice that you say there that your husband refuses to travel with you if you need walking aids as a result of your original size (well done so far, by the way!).
And now he's refusing to go out with you even for a 12 - 20 mile trip if you don't eat what he says, which would be difficult for you as it's not great from your healthy eating perspective?
I dunno. Seems like he's throwing obstacles in your path.0 -
first off, *****ing about your husband and wanting people to back you up...doesn't make for a healthy relationship. i can't believe some women...sorry.
second. lighten up...there are a few different options here and he just wants to enjoy your company without you having to worry about what you eat 24/7...i know it's important to be healthy, but one meal...two pieces of pizza isn't going to undo all of your hard work. also...this side salad idea, it's a pretty great one!
so i guess i don't understand the problem...your both being semi-babyish0 -
No you are not being selfish at all. He is! My husband wanted the same pizza the other night. I ordered it and went to pick it up. I was going to find "something" to eat when I got home. Instead, when I got home my husband had a huge salad made for me. He used all of my salad stuff, threw in a cutie and some left over pork chop as well as a couple of buffalo chicken bites.0
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Most restaurants will not allow one to bring outside food in. I'm not actually aware of any that will allow a person to do that. In bringing in outside food you risk creating a scene, which I'm sure none of you want.
Sometimes, as adults, we need to do things that we may not want to. That's just the way it is. This dinner isn't about you. It is about your family. I'm sure this isn't the only thing that you've ever been expected to do for your family that you didn't want to do. Every time we take my schizophrenic, heavily medicated, and disabled father-in-law out for fish and chips I want to scream. I do it anyway. Hubby is making a big rib dinner tonight, and I'm out of calories. I'm going to eat it anyway: out of respect and love for him and his efforts (I'll just work my tush off tomorrow).
If there aren't any lower calorie choices, have your piece of pizza. Enjoy the company of your family.0 -
Gods, sounds a bit like my ex-husband. Including the "drinking lots of beer" bit.
Which are both reasons, among many others, why he's my EX-husband.
It sounds like there are bigger control issues here, OP. The pizza thing is a topic -- better figure out what the underlying issue is.0 -
Well until you lose enough weight you are going to face this again and again. Even if he is being supportive. Eat one piece of pizza and then a salad w-ff dressing. It is all about the choices.
He might be worried or just frustrated. Not that that is an excuse but it is your decision. If you know you are going to eat pizza and you want to eat it then plan ahead, workout. One day isn't going to completely undo you.0 -
I did look at the nutritional info and really, it's not bad. So, I got Pizza Hut tonight for the family. I had two slices of delicious thin crust, minus the crust (which I never eat) and it was heavenly and filled me up. I'm well within my allowance for the day.
I'm kinda glad I read this thread. I guess saying "I can never eat that again" is not going to be my response anymore. I feel a whole lot less constrained and a little proud of myself for breaking out of that diet mindset that has always defeated me : "if it tastes good, spit it out".
Jan0 -
He is the selfish one, not you! My husband brought me home carrots the other night. He tries to support me. He should be happy you are trying to lose weight and help you any way he can.
One thing I have learned thru my weight loss is take care of yourself. I use to take care of everyone else!0 -
bump to read later...0
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Leslie,
You are doing an amazing job ! Do this for YOU!! You are a much better person than you give yourself credit for! I am very strong willed , and I was exercising way before my hubby did ! I made a commitment to me , to do what was right for my body , my hubby years ago was a smoker and drinker when he saw how important it was for me to be healthy, he decided to start working out , he's run several marathons, I applaud you for this tremendous weight loss so far and more to come, don't worry about 5 pounds , you are dedicated, conscious , and you care about you ! I still say your hubby sees what you have done and weight you have lost and he's envious! Do it for YOU ! You are worth it ! I know all about the knee thing because I as well have osteoarthrites in my knee and now I think my shoulder!
If you need a shoulder to vent I'm here .0 -
It's not all about you and four piddly pounds. Go out to dinner with your family, drop the drama ( your hubby is being childish, but both of you are at fault here.) Eat a snack before you go, and if you don't have the willpower to stop at one slice,work it off later, or take a week or two longer for those last four pounds ....I'll bet your hubby is tired of all the obsessing about calories, portion size, all that. Don't make the rest of the family feel bad....because the message you are sending is that your diet is more important to you than they are.
To YOU it's 4 piddly pounds to her it's a goal. And her health is MORE important to her than listening to her husband act like an *kitten* because she wants to have a salad instead of pizza. Who gives two figs what he's tired of, this IS about her.0 -
Well..if he's gonna be a big damn baby about it....go to PH...order a salad.....take big forkfuls of it and ENJOY it. Just who does he think he is? Your father? He should be happy and proud of you. Sounds like he's a bit of a hater.0
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Now the correct response from your husband should have been "More pizza for me"0
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I did look at the nutritional info and really, it's not bad. So, I got Pizza Hut tonight for the family. I had two slices of delicious thin crust, minus the crust (which I never eat) and it was heavenly and filled me up. I'm well within my allowance for the day.
I'm kinda glad I read this thread. I guess saying "I can never eat that again" is not going to be my response anymore. I feel a whole lot less constrained and a little proud of myself for breaking out of that diet mindset that has always defeated me : "if it tastes good, spit it out".
Jan
I'm not being facetious when I say that I'm proud of you!
That was a horrible mindset to have locked yourself into and now you can move past that :flowerforyou:0 -
I think each of you is being unreasonable in different ways. He is being unreasonable by not being supportive, but you by asking him to go out of his way to get you a separate meal. Why not just have a snack / salad at home before you depart to fill up on? That won't inconvenience him whatsoever, and you get what you want out of the deal.0
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