Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

mshafer1230
mshafer1230 Posts: 1
in Motivation and Support
So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
"Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?
«1345

Replies

  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,347 Member
    I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.
  • LuHox
    LuHox Posts: 136
    Great idea for a thread. I've often felt the need for some of those...

    Unfortunately I can't think of anything. I just want to come back and read others ideas :)
  • Therealobi1
    Therealobi1 Posts: 3,262 Member
    i do not think you need to bother. just smile and nod till they get tired. well done for eating your veggies.
  • wisdombabies
    wisdombabies Posts: 7
    I admit I have no witty responses to offer. However, I am fascinated that your relative said she could "see roots" on brussels sprouts. Clearly she has never seen them growing - they grow off of a stalk, "roots" are an impossibility. Take your relative to a farm for goodness sake, maybe she would appreciate her veggies more. :)
  • squatsandlipgloss
    squatsandlipgloss Posts: 595 Member
    I've just cultivated a deanpan, one eyebrow slightly raised stare that makes people extrodinarily uncomfortable. No comments needed, just gaze at them like they are a slightly fascinating but mostly repugnant amoeba until they go away.

    LOL I do this too. I find it to be a bit rude, but then again, it is my response to rude people.
  • Minerva624
    Minerva624 Posts: 577 Member
    I usually just give them a stupid look with an irrelevant remark in a derpy tone.
  • JessHealthKick
    JessHealthKick Posts: 800 Member
    I tend to respond with;

    "I just like to respect my body, and eating well and exercising regularly gives me more energy, better skin and in fact tastes a lot better than all the processed junk these days. Shall we compare our health when we're both in our 50s?"

    I also get crap from people all the time because I have pale skin and always stay out of the sun - again the "comparing at 50" seems to shut them up :)

    They will try to catch you out when you have a treat like chocolate or something, but you know what, they feel guilty about not respecting their bodies and it does the job in my opinion.
  • Hollander001
    Hollander001 Posts: 8 Member
    Just reply by saying, well those roots look better than your toenails you might want to consider eating these instead. You can always say I just eat veggies because I love myself it's time for you to look in the mirror and see what I see.
  • Railr0aderTony
    Railr0aderTony Posts: 6,803 Member
    Results speak for themselves, Nobody says nothing about what I eat, normally they are just curious.
  • Codename_Duchess
    Codename_Duchess Posts: 2,042 Member
    Something I read from Dave Zinczenko was that everybody "diets." It's not something you go on, it's what you eat, whatever you're eating, & if you look up the definition for diet, you'll find that he's right. So I always used to joke that I never diet because it has the word "die" in it, until my coworker said, "But at least when I die, I'd have a smaller coffin." She didn't mean it maliciously & I didn't take it that way, but it did get me wondering & it'd still be years before I started to change my, har har, diet.

    As far as witty responses go, haters gonna hate. I'm finding agreeing that it's not your usual greasy fare & asking if they'd like a bit is better for my mind & spirit. You still keep your positivity & they go away (usually) feeling like an *kitten*. ^_^
  • SteelySunshine
    SteelySunshine Posts: 1,092 Member
    My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

    It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.
  • JJordon
    JJordon Posts: 857 Member
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=C13KWHYcW2c

    That.
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,347 Member
    Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"
  • AnDiallo
    AnDiallo Posts: 131 Member
    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"
    I let out an audible 'ooooohh'.
    This right here is a good one lol
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)
  • thecakelocker
    thecakelocker Posts: 407 Member
    I used to be mocked for eating vegetables by someone that ate literally nothing but red hot cheetos and fruitopia. It was too hilarious to be irritating.
  • SenseiCole
    SenseiCole Posts: 429 Member
    "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)

    if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,347 Member
    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)

    if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

    I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
    Bump!!

    Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

    ideas..? haha
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    "If you are what you eat then you must be a clown" - (if they like McDonalds ;)

    if we were in a school yard id punch you right now.

    I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?

    hahaha

    I know you are, you said you are, but what am I?
  • lady_in_weighting
    lady_in_weighting Posts: 196 Member
    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

    LOVE IT :)
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
    Actually.. when I'm at my goal with rockinn abs, and am all lean and strong... THEN i'll be like.. "check out my bod. nuff said"

    hahaha :wink:
  • Shadowknight137
    Shadowknight137 Posts: 1,243 Member
    So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.

    I would just stare at them for a good few seconds, contemplating what exactly gave them the urge to say something so utterly random and stupid before shrugging and returning to my meal.

    Actually, I do that a lot. Happens when you eat organ meats, funnily enough.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    Bump!!

    Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

    ideas..? haha

    the stern approach

    tumblr_m3g9ye06uh1r05j4oo2_500.gif

    problem solved.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.

    I would just stare at them for a good few seconds, contemplating what exactly gave them the urge to say something so utterly random and stupid before shrugging and returning to my meal.

    Actually, I do that a lot. Happens when you eat organ meats, funnily enough.

    this is a good answer. its like nom nom nom "DA *kitten*" nom nom nom - well played good sir

    this works in all situations.


    ooor, if they have health problems, go for the low blow and bring it up

    'yeh.. haha... good one... so hows your cholesterol these days? awesome
  • RitaSantoss
    RitaSantoss Posts: 986 Member
    I'm losing weight. You're not.
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
    I'm losing weight. You're not.

    throw b!tch in there and you have a winner.
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    How's your See Food diet working out for you? Seriously, when you see food you need to stop...

Categories