Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

245

Replies

  • trixiemou
    trixiemou Posts: 554 Member
    You could just say once they have finished their rant '' And your point is? ' '

    I did once say to a co-worker who always had some comment to make....Look, I like this 'crap' and I would appreciate it if you could just give it a rest.

    Mind you, I do have a certain dislike of brussel sprouts haha.:smile:
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

    OOOOOH.

    tumblr_lp0hwt2Loc1qgn57l_zps6c00db57.gif
  • sammniamii
    sammniamii Posts: 669 Member
    Well, the last person who did this was a friend, so when they made a face at my brussel sprouts - I tackled them and pinched shut their nose. When they opened their mouth, I shoved a sprout in there then covered their mouth. They ate it and I got off them.... and now they ask when I am gonna make them again.

    BUT... this can only really work w/ friends & family, complete strangers MAY take OFFENCE at being tackled and force-fed sprouts, so I can't really recommend this to others. :bigsmile:
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    Awwww, you have a face like a flower - a cauliflower that is...

    Personally, I think a well timed insult goes a long way.
  • IronSmasher
    IronSmasher Posts: 3,908 Member
    I don't care about haters.

    I'm too busy being awesome.
  • rabies
    rabies Posts: 62
    Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.
  • Macbobbins
    Macbobbins Posts: 17 Member
    "I like food that gives me energy and good moods, not complete junk that's going to give me bad skin and a fat *kitten*!"
  • ilovedeadlifts
    ilovedeadlifts Posts: 2,923 Member
    Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

    this.
    I personally just do the following when someone says something stupid
    tumblr_m66el4ld8f1rxkh8vo1_400.jpg
  • kss1231
    kss1231 Posts: 167 Member
    "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

    Love this one!
  • kenj13
    kenj13 Posts: 39 Member
    So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
    "Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

    "What? Roots, you say!? Thank God you warned me, and stopped me from eating something that was nutritious. Who knows what would have happen if I ATE vegetables. Why, I might become healthy and possibly lose....*gasp* weight!!! Parish the thought!!!"

    THIS would be my response, but then again, I'm a smart-*kitten*! :wink:
  • pkw58
    pkw58 Posts: 2,038 Member
    My favorite is "yes, i have plenty of my share of healthy foods left---i already used up my share of ...(whatever people are wanting me to share ..cake, bread,fries, etc)
  • TorrizzleWillSizzle
    TorrizzleWillSizzle Posts: 119 Member
    My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

    It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.

    I'm sorry you have diabetes but holy crap this response literally made me LOL I might use it and I don't even have diabetes! Again Im not laughing at the diabetes itself at all but I would love to see this response in action because the other person would be dumbfounded ;)
  • mattschwartz01
    mattschwartz01 Posts: 566 Member
    I think the best response is none at all. Isn't the entire point of the directed hate to get a rise out of you? Give them neither the time of day nor the satisfaction and they go away.
  • sueclare38
    sueclare38 Posts: 125
    Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!
  • RllyGudTweetr
    RllyGudTweetr Posts: 2,019 Member
    "Yup. Want some?"

    *wait for response to the negative*

    "Then, why does it matter to you WHATSOEVER? Did brussel sprouts do mean things to you when you were a child, or is it just that you're STILL a child?"
  • WillowWindow
    WillowWindow Posts: 100 Member
    If you sing , you could try an over the top chorus of "Veggie Love" to the tune of "Baby Love", all the while dancing around and kissing your brussels sprouts. MIGHT make them laugh, definitely will drown them out and you can get some exercise at the same time.


    Veggie Love, Oh my Veggie Love
    How I need you, oh how I need you
    'Cause I been missing ya, and I miss kissin ya
    Instead of breaking up
    Let's do some kissing and making up
    Don't throw our love away
    In my arms why don't you stay
    Need ya, need ya
    veggie love, ooh, veggie love
  • Jerrypeoples
    Jerrypeoples Posts: 1,541 Member
    i think people tend to forget we have our own little built in ignore feature

    the worse thing you can ever do, in the real world or internet is to give someone the attention they crave
  • lcvaughn520
    lcvaughn520 Posts: 219 Member
    Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"

    Haha yes this is a good one!
  • ghhosstt
    ghhosstt Posts: 112
    Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

    it is true that they only really work on sitcoms and in battle-raps but I couldn't resist the chip joke. :) In real life I would most likely just give them a pitying look and then ignore them. If they are trying to belittle you for eating healthy they've already made themselves look dumb enough.
  • LokiOfAsgard
    LokiOfAsgard Posts: 378 Member
    I feel like this would be something I'd say.
    but with Brussel sprouts, not Broccoli

    maybe-broccoli-doesn-t-like-you-either-women-s-standard-weight-t-shirt-black-text_design.png

    ETA: OH and if they dye their hair would could say "Speaking of roots, I see yours"
  • billsica
    billsica Posts: 4,741 Member
    I would have responded with. "Oh I don't think your roots show that bad, oh wait that's just a grey hair on your head. "
  • mareeee1234
    mareeee1234 Posts: 674 Member
    Bump!!

    Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

    ideas..? haha

    the stern approach

    tumblr_m3g9ye06uh1r05j4oo2_500.gif

    problem solved.

    haaaha thaanks!
  • plantboy2
    plantboy2 Posts: 224 Member
    "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
  • Alatariel75
    Alatariel75 Posts: 18,237 Member
    "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

    I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.
  • SamanthaClarexo
    SamanthaClarexo Posts: 353 Member
    "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

    I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

    Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:
  • plantboy2
    plantboy2 Posts: 224 Member
    "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

    I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

    Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:

    I just had to look up pro-ana is. Wowsers.

    I was looking at this from a will-power perspective, not a don't eat perspective.
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
    I think comments like this say a lot about a person's ignorance. I don't know that I'd even be insulted. Knowing that I am doing what is best for my own body is good enough. I do not need approval from the peanut gallery.
  • NewLIFEstyle4ME
    NewLIFEstyle4ME Posts: 4,440 Member
    So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
    "Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

    She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

    I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?

    How's about...

    Girl/Dude I just love you...sounds like you need a hug and give him or her one. Then, with sincerity and finality ask him/her to/if they pray will for you about your food choices--if they don't like them or are concerned about your eating choices, then ask them how they are doing and feeling and if there is anything troubling them in their life...Trust me, that will shut up even the most smart alecky person and most always have them change the subject--it does for me anyway!
  • pamperedlinny
    pamperedlinny Posts: 1,679 Member
    "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

    I totally need to remember this one.
  • Codename_Duchess
    Codename_Duchess Posts: 2,042 Member
    Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!

    Good one! :laugh:

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