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    Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

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    • Posts: 554 Member
      You could just say once they have finished their rant '' And your point is? ' '

      I did once say to a co-worker who always had some comment to make....Look, I like this 'crap' and I would appreciate it if you could just give it a rest.

      Mind you, I do have a certain dislike of brussel sprouts haha.:smile:
    • Posts: 353 Member
      hmm, maybe something like, "I prefer healthy vegetables to things like chips, especially the one on your shoulder"

      OOOOOH.

      tumblr_lp0hwt2Loc1qgn57l_zps6c00db57.gif
    • Posts: 669 Member
      Well, the last person who did this was a friend, so when they made a face at my brussel sprouts - I tackled them and pinched shut their nose. When they opened their mouth, I shoved a sprout in there then covered their mouth. They ate it and I got off them.... and now they ask when I am gonna make them again.

      BUT... this can only really work w/ friends & family, complete strangers MAY take OFFENCE at being tackled and force-fed sprouts, so I can't really recommend this to others. :bigsmile:
    • Posts: 4,500 Member
      Awwww, you have a face like a flower - a cauliflower that is...

      Personally, I think a well timed insult goes a long way.
    • Posts: 3,908 Member
      I don't care about haters.

      I'm too busy being awesome.
    • Posts: 62
      Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.
    • Posts: 17 Member
      "I like food that gives me energy and good moods, not complete junk that's going to give me bad skin and a fat *kitten*!"
    • Posts: 2,923 Member
      Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

      this.
      I personally just do the following when someone says something stupid
      tumblr_m66el4ld8f1rxkh8vo1_400.jpg
    • Posts: 167 Member
      "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

      Love this one!
    • Posts: 39 Member
      So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
      "Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

      "What? Roots, you say!? Thank God you warned me, and stopped me from eating something that was nutritious. Who knows what would have happen if I ATE vegetables. Why, I might become healthy and possibly lose....*gasp* weight!!! Parish the thought!!!"

      THIS would be my response, but then again, I'm a smart-*kitten*! :wink:
    • Posts: 2,038 Member
      My favorite is "yes, i have plenty of my share of healthy foods left---i already used up my share of ...(whatever people are wanting me to share ..cake, bread,fries, etc)
    • Posts: 119 Member
      My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

      It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.

      I'm sorry you have diabetes but holy crap this response literally made me LOL I might use it and I don't even have diabetes! Again Im not laughing at the diabetes itself at all but I would love to see this response in action because the other person would be dumbfounded ;)
    • Posts: 566 Member
      I think the best response is none at all. Isn't the entire point of the directed hate to get a rise out of you? Give them neither the time of day nor the satisfaction and they go away.
    • Posts: 125
      Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!
    • Posts: 2,019 Member
      "Yup. Want some?"

      *wait for response to the negative*

      "Then, why does it matter to you WHATSOEVER? Did brussel sprouts do mean things to you when you were a child, or is it just that you're STILL a child?"
    • Posts: 100 Member
      If you sing , you could try an over the top chorus of "Veggie Love" to the tune of "Baby Love", all the while dancing around and kissing your brussels sprouts. MIGHT make them laugh, definitely will drown them out and you can get some exercise at the same time.


      Veggie Love, Oh my Veggie Love
      How I need you, oh how I need you
      'Cause I been missing ya, and I miss kissin ya
      Instead of breaking up
      Let's do some kissing and making up
      Don't throw our love away
      In my arms why don't you stay
      Need ya, need ya
      veggie love, ooh, veggie love
    • Posts: 1,541 Member
      i think people tend to forget we have our own little built in ignore feature

      the worse thing you can ever do, in the real world or internet is to give someone the attention they crave
    • Posts: 219 Member
      Aside from the deadpan stare, I'd employ a healthy dose of scorn. "seriously? you're mocking me for eating vegetables? that's a thing now?"

      Haha yes this is a good one!
    • Posts: 112
      Canned witty responses makes you look lame. Just tune them out and go "uh-huh" every now and then.

      it is true that they only really work on sitcoms and in battle-raps but I couldn't resist the chip joke. :) In real life I would most likely just give them a pitying look and then ignore them. If they are trying to belittle you for eating healthy they've already made themselves look dumb enough.
    • Posts: 378 Member
      I feel like this would be something I'd say.
      but with Brussel sprouts, not Broccoli

      maybe-broccoli-doesn-t-like-you-either-women-s-standard-weight-t-shirt-black-text_design.png

      ETA: OH and if they dye their hair would could say "Speaking of roots, I see yours"
    • Posts: 4,741 Member
      I would have responded with. "Oh I don't think your roots show that bad, oh wait that's just a grey hair on your head. "
    • Posts: 674 Member
      show previous quotes

      the stern approach

      tumblr_m3g9ye06uh1r05j4oo2_500.gif

      problem solved.

      haaaha thaanks!
    • Posts: 224 Member
      "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"
    • Posts: 18,995 Member
      "Nothing tastes as good as thin feels"

      I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.
    • Posts: 353 Member
      show previous quotes

      I've seen that 'mantra' of far too many pro-ana sites for it to do anything but make me uncomfortable.

      Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:
    • Posts: 224 Member
      show previous quotes

      Yeah... "Nothing tastes as good as healthy feels." Is better :flowerforyou:

      I just had to look up pro-ana is. Wowsers.

      I was looking at this from a will-power perspective, not a don't eat perspective.
    • Posts: 148
      I think comments like this say a lot about a person's ignorance. I don't know that I'd even be insulted. Knowing that I am doing what is best for my own body is good enough. I do not need approval from the peanut gallery.
    • Posts: 4,429 Member
      So a close relative remarked, " You can still see the roots on those," as I was happily eating lightly broiled brussels sprouts.
      "Yeah, you know where they came from," I responded.

      She continued her rant about eating vegetables. My quip did not make her laugh or shut up.

      I need better, smart-*kitten*, but funny quips/comebacks that will shut people up. I haven't found anything online. Come on, there had to be funny healthy people, right?

      How's about...

      Girl/Dude I just love you...sounds like you need a hug and give him or her one. Then, with sincerity and finality ask him/her to/if they pray will for you about your food choices--if they don't like them or are concerned about your eating choices, then ask them how they are doing and feeling and if there is anything troubling them in their life...Trust me, that will shut up even the most smart alecky person and most always have them change the subject--it does for me anyway!
    • Posts: 1,800 Member
      "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"

      I totally need to remember this one.
    • Posts: 2,042 Member
      Well I was gonna have a mcdonalds but the burger was still going neighhhhhh!!!!!!!

      Good one! :laugh:
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