Ideas for *witty* responses to healthy haters

124

Replies

  • cebreisch
    cebreisch Posts: 1,340 Member
    I'd be inclined to say something like:
    "Maybe so, but I'm sure this is still better than whatever crap you're eating..."

    "I choose to eat this way because it's healthy. I'm curious though as to why this is worse than whatever it is you're doing...which is what exactly?"

    I remember going to the hospital once to see my dad. My family met in the reception area before going to see him to bring everyone up to speed. I was glad that I resisted the Krispy Kreme donuts as we walked back to the room. Once in the room, I saw my sister had grabbed one of the donuts and sat next to me smaking the sugar off her fingers. I looked at her as if completely disgusted that she would choose to sit next to me eating that stupid thing - and said, "Would you mind going over there with that??" Everybody cracked up laughing.

    For what it's worth....
  • ggxx100
    ggxx100 Posts: 520 Member
    I'd just let your exceedingly good health and rocking body speak for themselves :wink:
  • XLMuffnTop
    XLMuffnTop Posts: 76 Member
    I say this to my 4 and 5 year old students in class.. and granted I think it sadly applies to adults.

    They comment on my food.. which normally consists of "Ewww... I HATE LETTUCE!" and without skipping a beat I smile brightly pick up my fork and say

    "Oh? Well good thing this is my lunch, I didn't offer any to you.."

    They normally look a little startled but they're learning not only to not comment on my food but their peers either.

    Like.

    My five year old takes salads for lunch several times a week and loves them. He got teased at the beginning of the year and I told told him to tell them it doesn't matter if they like it because he does. It's since subsided. Most of the teachers are jealous of his lunches. :laugh:
  • valeriebenjamin1
    valeriebenjamin1 Posts: 6
    Reply -- I'm like Popeye! Veggies give me strength!
  • LeeLynnP
    LeeLynnP Posts: 116 Member
    I don't care about haters.

    I'm too busy being awesome.

    LOVE THIS!
  • run_way
    run_way Posts: 220
    I don't care about haters.

    I'm too busy being awesome.

    LOVE THIS!

    rrMgGee
  • quirkytizzy
    quirkytizzy Posts: 4,052 Member
    Start mentioning in detail how much healthier eating has helped with your recent bowel malfunctions. They will eventually leave, especially if they're trying to eat, too.

    :laugh: I like this one.
  • Warchortle
    Warchortle Posts: 2,197 Member
    My friend was telling me about her experience at the sandwich shop. She overheard the guy keep asking a random girl about her sandwich trying to be flirtatious. Clearly, she didn't care, but he kept plugging along. He said something to the effect of "Oh, I see with your order... are you a vegetarian... Do you love animals?" She responded in almost a yell "No, I just hate ****ing hate vegetables and I want to kill them all." She left immediately after.
  • EmilyOfTheSun
    EmilyOfTheSun Posts: 1,548 Member
    I would just go with a good ol', "Fu(k you."
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    I'd go with "Why do you care so much about what I eat?" and "You know it's extremely rude to comment on someone's food, right?"

    The bonus is that they work for all situations, including both 'healthy food' criticized by fast food junkies, and 'unhealthy food' being criticized by people who think the only way to be healthy is to eschew a few centuries of progress.
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    Play off the "I can see" line with:

    Yeah..and I can see my ribs too; ask me if you'd like to know what that's like.
    Yeah...and I can see my toes...oh, sorry, sensitive subject?
    You see my roots, I see your stretch marks, big whoop.
    I can see your lips moving, but all I hear is the sound of my own awesome.
    Hey, I won't comment on the pink slime in your McNugget if you don't comment on the root in my mcHealthy.

    etc...
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    I would just go with a good ol', "Fu(k you."

    Or this. This works too.
  • AllonsYtotheTardis
    AllonsYtotheTardis Posts: 16,947 Member
    You need to give them this look, until they go away.

    tumblr_m8exrrNvhE1rd7c4jo1_500.gif
  • Mr_Excitement
    Mr_Excitement Posts: 833 Member
    I wouldn't *say* anything. Just sort of glance at their belly and return to your meal,
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    "broccoli gets stuck in your teeth, french fries get stuck on your *kitten*"
    Haha...yes! :)
  • HealthWoke0ish
    HealthWoke0ish Posts: 2,078 Member
    I wouldn't *say* anything. Just sort of glance at their belly and return to your meal,
    Haha...even better! :)
  • tekwriter
    tekwriter Posts: 923 Member
    My response. I have diabetes. If I ate like you it would kill me.

    It's true and I will get to look at their jaw drop.

    I'm sorry you have diabetes but holy crap this response literally made me LOL I might use it and I don't even have diabetes! Again Im not laughing at the diabetes itself at all but I would love to see this response in action because the other person would be dumbfounded ;)

    I am a diabetic and I can't wait to use this! I laughed too. I am very bad though if I have to wait at a Dr.'s office I will ask when I can get in and when they blow me off, I say no really I am a diabetic and I missed my snack, I need to know. Gets their hind end in gear.
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    Reading through some of the responses in this thread, it's amazing the sense of superiority eating vegetables seems to give some people.
  • yetieddie
    yetieddie Posts: 28 Member
    I'd just say, "It's easier then eating other vegetables, you have to lift them out of their chair."
  • Raclex
    Raclex Posts: 238
    I would 'do the up and down stare'....

    Start with the belly... slowly move up and once you get to they eyes, move back down. Stop at the belly once again. No need to say anything.

    And carry-on eating... *snap* ;-)
  • AprilLove125
    AprilLove125 Posts: 26
    Reading through some of the responses in this thread, it's amazing the sense of superiority eating vegetables seems to give some people.

    Haha!

    I'm more surprised that there are so many people who criticize veggie eaters, but I hear it too. When I'm devouring my salad and someone says something smart about it, I just throw my "I'm trying to be a trophy wife" line at them. Making fun of it a little myself seems to take the edge off of them.
  • faefaith
    faefaith Posts: 433 Member
    "naynaynahbooboo" works for me. Its childish so the only retort is a slow walk away or perhaps someone will stick out their tongue. In most cases, its the walk away.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    http://www.kitchencounterchronicle.com/2012/05/brussel-sprouts-flower-plant-and-garden.html

    I'm sorry, but brussel sprouts don't grow directly out of the ground. They grow on a stalk and have to be cut off. How did she see roots?
  • Bernadette60614
    Bernadette60614 Posts: 707 Member
    It may have been a conscious put down , it may have been that she was just curious.

    I think life is a lot more fun if we just assume that people just are curious. So, I'd say: Yes, it takes a while to get used to whole foods but they really taste good once you do.

    You may have set her on the path to trying some whole foods.
  • aNewYear123
    aNewYear123 Posts: 279 Member
    I don't ever really tell anyone I am changing how I am eating or that I don't want something because it isn't healthy. I just say something like - 'Yeah, they are really tasty this way.'
  • stumblinthrulife
    stumblinthrulife Posts: 2,558 Member
    http://www.kitchencounterchronicle.com/2012/05/brussel-sprouts-flower-plant-and-garden.html

    I'm sorry, but brussel sprouts don't grow directly out of the ground. They grow on a stalk and have to be cut off. How did she see roots?

    I wondered this myself, but gave OP the benefit of the doubt.
  • ZumbaWarriorQueen
    ZumbaWarriorQueen Posts: 4 Member
    Whenever someone expresses distaste at something I'm eating, I just fix them with my best stare, pop another bite in my mouth, and make a big show of savoring it. Their resulting obvious discomfort is my reward.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Reading through some of the responses in this thread, it's amazing the sense of superiority eating vegetables seems to give some people.

    Great attempt at trolling!
  • marsgirlly
    marsgirlly Posts: 71 Member
    Not witty in the slightest, but I tend to go with "*kitten* off and let me eat my dinner in peace"

    Beautiful and to the point.
  • likitisplit
    likitisplit Posts: 9,420 Member
    Bump!!

    Telling my cousin this is a lifestlye change when she insists I'm on a "diet" because I refuse junk food sometimes, just doesn't seem to work :explode:

    ideas..? haha

    Why argue semantics? Go for a run instead!

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