Single at 33..why?

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  • yksdoris
    yksdoris Posts: 327 Member
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    just a comment on the musician types: while there's truth in the cliché, not all of them are like that. I'm engaged to a professional musician and he's really the hardest working, the most loyal person I know. Maybe it "helps" that he's a keyboard player rather than the lead singer/guitarrist ;)

    I bet you get loads of advice from your friends and family already but for what it's worth, here's mine:

    be your own person. You are awesome all by yourself, and the moment you believe that deep down, men will get it too.

    regarding the online world, online relationships can work... But the thing is, on dating sites people tend to always put their best foot forward and you don't really get to meet the real person; until you actually physically meet them, that is, and sometimes even then people try to hide who they really are. At least, that's my experience... So, rather than joining dating sites, try for a site that really interests you (books, films, politics, sports, handicraft... there are so many!). That way, you're engaging with something you actually like, and any guy who's on that site will have a common interest with you. Which is always good. (I met my guy on a fantasy book series fan-forum. it's a relatively small forum, maybe 150 or so active users but off the top of my head, I know 6 couples that started there, some as long as 9 years ago)
  • Pacefit4God
    Pacefit4God Posts: 22
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    I believe that everything happens in God's season and anything out of his season and will is trouble. The word says that a man that finds a wife finds a good thing, so get into the ministry, stop looking, and start working!! When you least expect it or even thinking about it your soul mate will be right beside you.

    Seek God first and He shall supply all of your desires in His time.

    Stay encouraged!

    ^^this
  • xxthoroughbred
    xxthoroughbred Posts: 346 Member
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    I was single till 29yo. And if it wasn't for the fact that I met my husband through a dating service, I'd probably STILL be single.

    I'm guessing that's because you're not nice to people...?
  • playitagainsam
    playitagainsam Posts: 84 Member
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    Hey...I'm 33...never married, no kids (finding out now that I don't want any anyway!), and only 2 girlfriends my entire life. I'm not sweating it though. All things will happen when they are meant to happen. Right now, I'm happy with my life and I like it just like it is now. When it's time for a change and I feel differently, I'll know and I change my train of thought accordingly...regardless how many years the calendar says that I've been around. Like others have posted, I trust that God will send me through this life exactly where he intended for me to go. I'll gladly sit back and let Him drive!
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

    My husband was unmarried at 33 and then he met me online on a regular message board. We both weren't looking for a romantic partner but God brought us together. I told the Lord that if he wanted me to be married he would have to bring a guy to my doorstep because I had such social issues. Funny how God did that. He is 12 years older than me. People can get married older. He was a Ph.D. student at the time and also never married.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    i am 31, single, no kids, never engaged...have my BA, MA, and hope to be working on my PhD within the next year...I am trying to date...the man i want to spend the rest of my life with is out there...i just need to find him first...but for now..im having fun.

    this is what you should be doing if you are unmarried and older. Getting educated, getting a career, becoming a better person, exploring the world. I feel like I wasted my single years.

    Being single can be very good if you pursue it right. I never did. I kind of wasted my single years from 18-21. I never got educated, never really explored, never really became stronger as a person. I am married now but marriage is not perfect. You have to give up a lot of freedom to be married. You have children who need you 24/7. You have a spouse who has issues. You want to separate quite often to get the other persons butt in line but because you made a commitment and you love the person you don't.

    If I was single again today I would not focus on sex so much, I would reign that desire in, and just pursue my dreams. Get a ph.d., travel, do mission work, volunteer, learn things I would like, get established, all that. Pursue friendships with my family.
  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
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    I will be single at 33 because apparently I only go for jerks who aren't marriage material. Oh well, I'll have my FREEEDOMMM!!
  • ummlovelovesyou
    ummlovelovesyou Posts: 1,024 Member
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    My good friend is 30 and single.

    She is GORGEOUS but VERY picky....her guy needs to meet all of her standards...and one day she'll realize that you have to lose some to win some!
  • rachelmchll
    rachelmchll Posts: 53 Member
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    I can relate. I'm 28, not married, no kids. Generally happy in life but would love to meet someone. I just have no luck in this department....I used to, but the past 2-3 years have been very dry for me in the world of dating. Everyone around me is married and it's hard to be the pathetic, single person. Where are the guys at?
  • j4nash
    j4nash Posts: 1,719 Member
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    I'm single at 33. I've been married though and I hated it. Not in any rush.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    My brother-in-law is your age lives in Seattle and is singe.
  • triciab79
    triciab79 Posts: 1,713 Member
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    On a related note: I read a lot of these "woe is me, I am still single" threads and the girls in them won't give the time of day to a guy who doesn't have money, six pack abs, and a bad boy attitude. This is just a suggestion but, I think you would all do much better at finding love if you stopped focusing on the "attractive" boys. There are tons of wonderful, sweet, smart, responsible men out there who can't get a date because they don't look like Brad Pitt, don't have Bill Gate's money, and don't swagger like Jagger. Look at everyman as if you were looking for the person who would raise your children, not the guy you would like to bang. If we all stop sleeping with losers and the losers will be forced to straighten up to meet our standards.
  • Viva81Diva
    Viva81Diva Posts: 148
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    I've been married twice, and am in the process of my second divorce. Even marrying these men, they were the wrong men for me. I've always been a kind, loving, compassionate person, but haven't found anyone who truly appreciates me and treats me for what i am worth. I have a toddler from my 2nd marriage, and he is the best thing that ever came out of that marriage! Right now, I would rather be single and focused on just me and my son. I don't have to deal with jealousy or arguing, or feeling like my efforts are being stomped on and thrown away. I have way less drama in my life, and I am happy. Love yourself first and focus on getting everything you want done for yourself in your life, and you may just happen to run into someone who will love you for you and cherish your every being! There are good men out there, and they are looking for the right women, too! Don't worry. It WILL happen! What's meant to be will always find a way. :)

    Oh wow! My post is still up here from last year... Deactivated my other account and didn't think my posts would still show.. That's cool.
  • blondley
    blondley Posts: 38 Member
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    I'm 28, single... and just really focused on working on myself and making me happy! :) I do relate with a lot of people in this thread though. The most annoying thing is when people ask "why don't you have a bf"... haha, I just don't I guess. :)

    It'll happen someday!
  • jk262
    jk262 Posts: 1,598 Member
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    I'm 28, single... and just really focused on working on myself and making me happy! :) I do relate with a lot of people in this thread though. The most annoying thing is when people ask "why don't you have a bf"... haha, I just don't I guess. :)

    It'll happen someday!

    Same! I think that's one of the most annoying things! Or when you have a mom that says she hated it when people asked her the same question when she was younger and yet here we are today and she's the worst offender! lol
  • SoDamnHungry
    SoDamnHungry Posts: 6,998 Member
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    I'm in the process of divorce and you have me discouraged. Are there really no good ones left, darn!

    Don't worry, they're all getting divorced, too.
  • krazyforyou
    krazyforyou Posts: 1,428 Member
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    We forget somtimes that life in on Gods clock not ours. Remain patient, dont settle for less than you want and trust that he is put there waiting for you.
  • Lyadeia
    Lyadeia Posts: 4,603 Member
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    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

    I didn't get married until I was 32. I used to think that there was something wrong with me, too, for being single so long, but in the end, there's nothing wrong with me or you. Finding the right person to spend your life with is not something to jump into hastily. It takes time and effort to get to that point, and there's nothing at all wrong with passing up on the wrong guys to find the right one. I almost settled for one of those wrong ones because I was so desperate to find someone...but then someone from my church told me that I needed to stop even thinking about it. I just needed to basically work on doing things for myself and making myself happy. When I started concentrating on myself instead of a guy, that's actually when I started going out with the one that evenutally became my husband.

    Just focus on you! Don't focus on getting a guy. When you make yourself your biggest priority, this will attract the right guys for you. It's hard to explain, but that's the way it is. There's nothing wrong with anyone who doesn't get married by a certain age...nothing at all! I'd rather have waited until I was 42 than marry the wrong guy at 22! Way too many of my friends and family married the wrong guy and are miserable because of it. People tend to jump into marriage too soon...but marriage is just one of those things that you have to be 100% sure about...you BOTH have to know that you know that you know that this is the one and only...or else you'll divorce. And that takes more time for some of us than others. It also means that those of us that waited longer have more experiences that will help us to appreciate the goodness that finally came.
  • spitfire1962
    spitfire1962 Posts: 347 Member
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    I'm 50 and about to turn 51 tomorrow. I have been single for many years. I had just about given up hope when I met the wonderful man I'm with today. I had decided for better or worse, I'm not going to depend on another person to make me happy. I met him online after a series of bad dates. I had no expectations and had decided that if I felt a chemistry with him, we would just be friends. I was able to be myself. I didn't try to pretend to like everything he liked and it worked! He was very interested in me. We have been dating for 3 months now and I'm hopeful that it will be a lasting relationship. If it doesn't work out, I'm prepared to keep being me. Stop concentrating on wanting a man. Just be yourself and you will attract the right person into your life.
  • lizlkbg
    lizlkbg Posts: 566
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    On a related note: I read a lot of these "woe is me, I am still single" threads and the girls in them won't give the time of day to a guy who doesn't have money, six pack abs, and a bad boy attitude. This is just a suggestion but, I think you would all do much better at finding love if you stopped focusing on the "attractive" boys. There are tons of wonderful, sweet, smart, responsible men out there who can't get a date because they don't look like Brad Pitt, don't have Bill Gate's money, and don't swagger like Jagger. Look at everyman as if you were looking for the person who would raise your children, not the guy you would like to bang. If we all stop sleeping with losers and the losers will be forced to straighten up to meet our standards.

    This is some very sound advice.

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