Single at 33..why?

I am not single...and I have been anxiously waiting for my SO to ask the question. I also recently went through a terrible month of nothing but "baby fever" (which is when I learnt all the joys of vag tearing, 8-10 diaper changes a day, and breast feeding).

My SO had a good long discussion on kids, as I have always flipped back and forth between having them. (Im 24 btw) So of course, because everyone else around us is getting married and having babies - i started to lay down the pressure. It was definitely about keeping up with people around us. Anyway...during this discussion, he had made this amazing comment that changed my perspective on marriage and kids 100%.

He said "Do you ever notice that once people have kids...their lives almost "stop". They often do not get nicer vehicles, or a nicer house, with a better paying job." I thought for a moment about most of the people I know who have had kids/got married at a younger age...and had to agree. (Not to say this is the case for everyone...just my social circle). I want to be able to pay for my childs college funds, afford to put them into sports, and have a house/mortgage to ourselves (we currently rent). I thought to all of our friends who are married/having kids...none of them are able to do that, and yes their lives are essentially on "hold".

Along with another 2 hours or so of discussion, this pretty much cured up my baby fever and I was (easily) able to become patient in getting married and having kids. The longer I wait, the more secure our lives will be. The more satisfied I will be with my job and my living environment.

Then yeah I read about the vag tearing and pretty much turned me off from having kids all together...but anyway, perhaps some of this insight might help add patience to what your going through.

BTW - My SO is a musician (yup...a drummer!), and trust me...they are not all bad.

Now I dont feel so bad.

Im 30 and single. No kids or anything.

I dont really want to be married or anything like that right now, but having a relationship would be nice.

I have no suggestions because I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29, single, never been married, no kids. Strangely it isn't my mom that's worried about it. It's my grandfather. He was brought up very old school, very traditional. I'm a female so I should be married, in the kitchen, cooking, taking care of my however many children. And because I haven't found someone yet, something must be wrong with me. The only thing I can say that is "wrong with me," is that I find it very hard to get close to people. And...it probably doesn't help that I don't want kids... :-/

I do have those moments though where I think, "What is SO wrong with me?" So, I understand that. Maybe you could do speed dating? I've never done it, but I've definitely thought about it. That may sound ridiculous, but it may be worth a try.

I think it's society that doesn't really make it easier.

There's an expectation that you HAVE to have someone, that your worth is only determined by someone else. I don't think so.

And there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting kids or being single.

I have no suggestions because I'm in the same boat as you. I'm 29, single, never been married, no kids. Strangely it isn't my mom that's worried about it. It's my grandfather. He was brought up very old school, very traditional. I'm a female so I should be married, in the kitchen, cooking, taking care of my however many children. And because I haven't found someone yet, something must be wrong with me. The only thing I can say that is "wrong with me," is that I find it very hard to get close to people. And...it probably doesn't help that I don't want kids... :-/

I do have those moments though where I think, "What is SO wrong with me?" So, I understand that. Maybe you could do speed dating? I've never done it, but I've definitely thought about it. That may sound ridiculous, but it may be worth a try.

I think it's society that doesn't really make it easier.

There's an expectation that you HAVE to have someone, that your worth is only determined by someone else. I don't think so.

And there's nothing wrong with you for not wanting kids or being single.

Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

Took me until I was 35 to meet the right lady and now married with two kids. It'll happen, just enjoy life until it does.

The grass isn't always greener lol . I really wish I had stayed single when I was younger. I was in a way to long relationship with someone I knew I didn't want to spend the rest of my life with. Then met the one soon after. I adore my guy and know it is for life but would of liked to enjoy the single life for a couple years.

I never got the whole type thing...
Maybe you could try dating guys that aren't your type and see where that goes.

Good luck

Maybe you are delusional and aiming too high since you said u have a certain type you go for?

Do what you love and you will meet someone who loves what you do.

I just saw another post on how a girl is finally getting attention due to her losing weight. Yeah guys are shallow. So looks like I'm going to be single too.

Now that I have a bangin body and look like some kind of Viking Warrior chick... I get tons of attention just going to the store when I look like crap.... ZOMG I NEVER SAW THAT COMING AND I HAD NO IDEA THAT WHEN YOU HAD AN AMAZING BODY THAT GUYS NOTICED YOU HOLY CRAP! STOP LOOKING AT ME OR YOU WONT BE ABLE TO TELL IM A NICE PERSON ON THE INSIDE YOU SHALLOW PIECE OF SHT!!!

i somehow doubt that when you go out with friends looking to meet guys or whatever, that you deliberately avoid the ones who are good looking until you can be sure they have a personality to match. stop kidding yourself, guys want to talk to attractive women and VICE VERSA. who the hell would want to be married to or even date a person who they were not physically attracted to? Why not be complimented by the fact that all your hard work has paid off. you put in all the work to get the "bangin body" why? so you could show it off to the world and be proud of yourself just like everyone else who puts in effort to look better. people notice you now and you don't like it? whatever

I'm 40, single, no children and untroubled. My only whisper of anything approaching regret is for my parents who would be wonderful grandparents but they've always assured me that as long as I'm happy, they're happy. And that's great.

Other people's expectations are just that - theirs. Everyone's journey is different. Cherish your family and friends, be a good person and enjoy your life!! . That's what it's all about.

If you meet someone, great, but why not enjoy the day to day until you do?

I think the problem is, when we want love, we look for it, when we are content without it, it usually falls on our laps.

Enjoy it ladies! Grass is always greener! LOL - I barely have ANY moments to myself!!!!!!!!!

Don't rush! I married at 28 to the wrong guy because I thought I was supposed to...it was the next logical step after dating two years, right? Well, no...he really wasn't right for me, and we divorced a few years later.

I met Mr. Right when I was 39, and married him at 40. I have an awesome StepKid. I'm 43 now, and blissfully happy. Just because MOST people do things the traditional way does not mean it works for everyone. Consider that the divorce rate is 50%.

You do what is right for YOU.

im 26...starring down the barrel of 27 and never married, engaged or kids....ohh well

this describes my husband when I met him and started dating.I was 18. we married that summer (27/19)- been married almost 22 yrs.

it can still happen if you want .

I felt I am the last one in the world who has never been married and have no kids. I am 28. I kind of "give up" and focus on changing myself to better.