Single at 33..why?

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Replies

  • dfonte
    dfonte Posts: 263 Member
    I'm 30, and I'm just not motivated to go out and meet people / date. I don't have expectations that hold me back, just a lack of motivation.

    You should have standards though. If you have ever cheated on anyone, I will not date you. If your religion is something that would be more important than your family, we probably wouldn't work out. If I ever get married, I would want the 'immediate..and extended if you like them' family to be our priority. I'm all about people believing in things that make them better people, not trying to dismiss anyones' faith, just my viewpoint.
  • GracefulDancer4Christ
    GracefulDancer4Christ Posts: 419 Member
    I am almost 38 years old single mom of 1 child. at church in my sunday school class I am the only one who is single with a bunch of married folks so I don't feel at times I fit in with them. it is tough but I want God's best for me not 2nd rate like I settled for last time.
  • ItsCasey
    ItsCasey Posts: 4,021 Member
    Well, I have no personal experience in this department because I've never been married and don't have kids either, but I think it's a really bad idea to get married because you're a certain age or because your parents/grandparents/siblings/friends won't quit bugging you about it. You're not married because you haven't met the right person yet. That's it.

    Don't be defeatist with this "all the good men are taken" stuff. And don't talk like it's not possible for you to be happy as a single woman. Being single wouldn't be my first choice, but you know what? I can do single. I like myself. And I respect myself too much to marry someone I don't love and who doesn't really love me, just to satisfy the expectations of other people. That has to be way lonelier than being single.
  • wendybird5
    wendybird5 Posts: 577 Member
    I'm 40, never been married and no kids and I live in LA where dating really sucks. But then I remember that the guy I could have married turned out to be a drug addict and I'm definitely much better off. Don't assume something is wrong with you. So much of relationships is just being in the right place at the right time. I keep hoping I'll meet my future husband soon, but other than getting out of the house and going to events where I can meet people, making myself available and looking good, there is nothing else I can really do to make it happen. So I focus on what I do control which is me, my attitude, how i react to setbacks and disappointment, what I do with my life, how I live it and how I make myself happy. Life is too short to wait for someone else to come along and make it better when I can just do it for myself.
  • haiitsstef
    haiitsstef Posts: 12
    I'm 22 and getting a divorce. Being married sucks. I am looking forward to regaining my freedom! Being married isn't all it's cracked up to be.
  • piggiez
    piggiez Posts: 8
    haha~~ 26 single, never engaged, never married and no kids. I don't see anything wrong with that. Maybe that's because I love myself too much; selfish in a sense :D .
  • mrdexter1
    mrdexter1 Posts: 356 Member
    you re depressed and unhappy being single and obviously not coping....

    As a man i d see that and avoid like the plague not wishing to be soley responsible for your happiness if you cant even be bothered to make the effort to enjoy single life for yourself. Its called bagage and until its gone you ll only attract no hopers with similar problems and able to accept anything !

    As for accepting anything in you re 40 s what rubbish... hold out for the best as i did !
  • geekyjock76
    geekyjock76 Posts: 2,720 Member
    You know why you avoid people who are 33 yrs old? Because if you add another 3 and multiply it by 2 you get 666. Yeah.
  • Sublimely_Self_Righteous
    Sublimely_Self_Righteous Posts: 429
    Have you tried the craiglist personals section?
  • norcal_yogi
    norcal_yogi Posts: 675 Member
    33 is not old.... don't be in any rush and don't compare your life/self to others. some days i'd LOVE to be single! ;-)
  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

    Your time will come, I just called off my wedding three weeks ago I'm in my 30's and no kids. It wasn't easy but I'm not going to settle just to 'fit in'.
  • theedge56
    theedge56 Posts: 64 Member
    I wouldn't worry about it enjoy life.

    However I would recommend Match I found the most wonderful person ever on there. Well actually she found me. You can have your pick just be careful.
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
    Do you want to be married? Or are you just worried about it because you're 33? I'm sure you know, that's a bad reason to get married. Try not to wander around reeking of desperation. That isn't exactly attractive. (PS - I didn't mean you ARE desperate, just meant to avoid that.)

    Ah, what do I know. I'm 38 and have never been married. *gasp* If only I could afford to, I could do all kinds of stuff that my married, child-ed friends can't do. :D
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
    Focus on you and loving you and someone will come along and love you too.

    A watched pot never boils.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
    No way I am reading 19 pages of comments...and I can bet this has already been said. But have you tried online dating? I'm 28, reasonably attractive, and I have good qualities, but I'm still single and have never been in a serious relationship. EVER. I wonder about it all the time. I'm hoping its the area I live in, thus the reason I turned to online dating. I've met some cool people...also, meetup.com is a good way to get out and "meet" people as well. You kinda have to put yourself out there. Isn't there a christian online dating thing? Oh christianmingle.com I've heard good things about it. By the way, 30's are the new 20's. Haven't you ever seen Thirteen Going On Thirty? One of my favorite movies lol. Good luck!
  • weinbagel
    weinbagel Posts: 337 Member
    I think I'll be single at 33, too haha...
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    So you only date men you don't think are marriage material. Well, there's your problem. Either date different men or change your definition of marriage. Maybe if you're willing to be the breadwinner and have a stay at home musician/dad husband. A friend of mine did that. She is happy.
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
    Have you tried the craiglist personals section?

    Actually... 4 years in and we still have yet to have an argument but we are definitely not the norm for CL.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,228 Member
    I can't believe you all are about to roll a 9-month old zombie thread.

    Kudos to the thread-resurrector!!
  • SophieA9083
    SophieA9083 Posts: 63
    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?
    Musicians aren't crappy as everyone keeps saying we are! T.T My bf of 6 years is a musician too! All the musicians I know are all pretty good guys who look after their women!
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
    I'm in the process of divorce and you have me discouraged. Are there really no good ones left, darn!

    Same here - not to mention a mother of two. Enjoy it - prince charming will come along when you're ready. Sometimes people just can't make it work together, no matter how 'right' it seemed in when you got married. Live your life for you, enjoy the freedom to just be yourself and when you stop thinking so hard about wanting someone new, he'll show up right in front of you - out of nowhere.

    Hang in there girls - don't put so much stress on finding someone by "x" age- it''s just a number and a pointless milestone in the game of finding your true love.
  • Altruista75
    Altruista75 Posts: 409 Member
    Embrace being single b/c when you finally think you've found the "one" he ends up being married w/ 3 kids and romancing about a half a dozen other people that you're not aware of! Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything!
  • xprplstardust
    xprplstardust Posts: 105 Member
    Nothing is wrong with you. I am single and going to be 28 on the May 8th. Do you feel like you have to have a boyfriend/be married or do you actually want to be married/have a bf? I chose to be alone for a long time & now I am dating but I just keep finding *kitten*. I'm not worried about it though & you shouldn't be either, the right one will come along when you least expect it. :)
  • Ezwoldo
    Ezwoldo Posts: 369 Member
    I too am not reading 19 pages of comments so this may have been said, but why is it so important to get married and have kids, don't get me wrong I love my kids to bits and would never change them but if I didn't have them I think I would be equally as happy with me and not be looking to have them. Is this because I am a man and don't have maternal feeling when I see kids?
  • Querian
    Querian Posts: 419 Member
    I got married for the 1st time at age 38, I didn't meet my husband until I was 36 (he was 30 when we met). Don't worry too much about it. It'll happen when the time is right. :flowerforyou:
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
    holy cow the overwhelming responses from women here! I would say the best advice is from members of the opposite sex. If a man posted this, I would seek counsel from a woman.Since it is a woman posting, I would take advice from a man. Talk to one of your male friends that knows you and ask him.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
    I didn't get married until I was almost 30, so I feel ya. Really though, you won't find someone who is 'right' until you are really ready. Until then, you will always find faults and never find that perfect person. Fact is, love is sooooo not about perfection. it is about accepting someone as they are - someone who compliments your life.

    Good luck.
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
    Sometimes the Best Loves come into your life Unexpectedly :heart:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,010 Member
    It's one of several options possibilities:

    1) Your standards are higher than what you deliver (you are trying to date > 2 numbers above your own ranking)
    2) What you really want and what you say/think you want are two different things....you are drawn to rockers and want a nice guy (stereotyping here not making specific claims)
    3) You are really clingy and/or crazy
    4) You are oblivious to advances/flirtation from men
    5) You haven't met the right guy yet.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
    I guess the less you care about the subject, the less it's a problem. I'm 35, have 2 children, never married, and never want to be married. I've been proposed to twice, and gave back the rings both times. It's just not for me. So I think that takes a lot of the pressure off when I date people. I only date men who will be good role models to my sons. What makes someone a good role model for them is also what makes them good people in general. I don't know you well enough to offer any substantial advice. I do wish you luck.

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