Single at 33..why?

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  • IamBlackMamba
    IamBlackMamba Posts: 229
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    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?

    Your time will come, I just called off my wedding three weeks ago I'm in my 30's and no kids. It wasn't easy but I'm not going to settle just to 'fit in'.
  • theedge56
    theedge56 Posts: 64 Member
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    I wouldn't worry about it enjoy life.

    However I would recommend Match I found the most wonderful person ever on there. Well actually she found me. You can have your pick just be careful.
  • yourenotmine
    yourenotmine Posts: 645 Member
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    Do you want to be married? Or are you just worried about it because you're 33? I'm sure you know, that's a bad reason to get married. Try not to wander around reeking of desperation. That isn't exactly attractive. (PS - I didn't mean you ARE desperate, just meant to avoid that.)

    Ah, what do I know. I'm 38 and have never been married. *gasp* If only I could afford to, I could do all kinds of stuff that my married, child-ed friends can't do. :D
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    Focus on you and loving you and someone will come along and love you too.

    A watched pot never boils.
  • legnarevocrednu
    legnarevocrednu Posts: 467 Member
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    No way I am reading 19 pages of comments...and I can bet this has already been said. But have you tried online dating? I'm 28, reasonably attractive, and I have good qualities, but I'm still single and have never been in a serious relationship. EVER. I wonder about it all the time. I'm hoping its the area I live in, thus the reason I turned to online dating. I've met some cool people...also, meetup.com is a good way to get out and "meet" people as well. You kinda have to put yourself out there. Isn't there a christian online dating thing? Oh christianmingle.com I've heard good things about it. By the way, 30's are the new 20's. Haven't you ever seen Thirteen Going On Thirty? One of my favorite movies lol. Good luck!
  • weinbagel
    weinbagel Posts: 337 Member
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    I think I'll be single at 33, too haha...
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
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    So you only date men you don't think are marriage material. Well, there's your problem. Either date different men or change your definition of marriage. Maybe if you're willing to be the breadwinner and have a stay at home musician/dad husband. A friend of mine did that. She is happy.
  • Heaven71
    Heaven71 Posts: 706 Member
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    Have you tried the craiglist personals section?

    Actually... 4 years in and we still have yet to have an argument but we are definitely not the norm for CL.
  • UsedToBeHusky
    UsedToBeHusky Posts: 15,229 Member
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    I can't believe you all are about to roll a 9-month old zombie thread.

    Kudos to the thread-resurrector!!
  • SophieA9083
    SophieA9083 Posts: 63
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    Sometimes you wonder how you could be single and unmarried at 33. It's really depressing, bec I know I am a good perosn, but I can't seem to find a good man. I date the musican types, and they have proven to not make good boyfriends. And my man wants me to meet a good Christian/BA Degree/smart/good job etc. and I told her most of them are married by my age. And all the good men are taken.

    Sucks becuase everyone my age in the church are all married with kids. I feel like there's something majorly wrong with me. Any thoughts/comments/suggestions?
    Musicians aren't crappy as everyone keeps saying we are! T.T My bf of 6 years is a musician too! All the musicians I know are all pretty good guys who look after their women!
  • MissyBenj
    MissyBenj Posts: 186 Member
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    I'm in the process of divorce and you have me discouraged. Are there really no good ones left, darn!

    Same here - not to mention a mother of two. Enjoy it - prince charming will come along when you're ready. Sometimes people just can't make it work together, no matter how 'right' it seemed in when you got married. Live your life for you, enjoy the freedom to just be yourself and when you stop thinking so hard about wanting someone new, he'll show up right in front of you - out of nowhere.

    Hang in there girls - don't put so much stress on finding someone by "x" age- it''s just a number and a pointless milestone in the game of finding your true love.
  • Altruista75
    Altruista75 Posts: 409 Member
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    Embrace being single b/c when you finally think you've found the "one" he ends up being married w/ 3 kids and romancing about a half a dozen other people that you're not aware of! Not that I'm speaking from personal experience or anything!
  • xprplstardust
    xprplstardust Posts: 105 Member
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    Nothing is wrong with you. I am single and going to be 28 on the May 8th. Do you feel like you have to have a boyfriend/be married or do you actually want to be married/have a bf? I chose to be alone for a long time & now I am dating but I just keep finding *kitten*. I'm not worried about it though & you shouldn't be either, the right one will come along when you least expect it. :)
  • Ezwoldo
    Ezwoldo Posts: 369 Member
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    I too am not reading 19 pages of comments so this may have been said, but why is it so important to get married and have kids, don't get me wrong I love my kids to bits and would never change them but if I didn't have them I think I would be equally as happy with me and not be looking to have them. Is this because I am a man and don't have maternal feeling when I see kids?
  • Querian
    Querian Posts: 419 Member
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    I got married for the 1st time at age 38, I didn't meet my husband until I was 36 (he was 30 when we met). Don't worry too much about it. It'll happen when the time is right. :flowerforyou:
  • TwinkieDong
    TwinkieDong Posts: 1,564 Member
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    holy cow the overwhelming responses from women here! I would say the best advice is from members of the opposite sex. If a man posted this, I would seek counsel from a woman.Since it is a woman posting, I would take advice from a man. Talk to one of your male friends that knows you and ask him.
  • Timshel_
    Timshel_ Posts: 22,834 Member
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    I didn't get married until I was almost 30, so I feel ya. Really though, you won't find someone who is 'right' until you are really ready. Until then, you will always find faults and never find that perfect person. Fact is, love is sooooo not about perfection. it is about accepting someone as they are - someone who compliments your life.

    Good luck.
  • Luvmesumkenny
    Luvmesumkenny Posts: 779 Member
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    Sometimes the Best Loves come into your life Unexpectedly :heart:
  • Jacwhite22
    Jacwhite22 Posts: 7,012 Member
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    It's one of several options possibilities:

    1) Your standards are higher than what you deliver (you are trying to date > 2 numbers above your own ranking)
    2) What you really want and what you say/think you want are two different things....you are drawn to rockers and want a nice guy (stereotyping here not making specific claims)
    3) You are really clingy and/or crazy
    4) You are oblivious to advances/flirtation from men
    5) You haven't met the right guy yet.
  • theCarlton
    theCarlton Posts: 1,344 Member
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    I guess the less you care about the subject, the less it's a problem. I'm 35, have 2 children, never married, and never want to be married. I've been proposed to twice, and gave back the rings both times. It's just not for me. So I think that takes a lot of the pressure off when I date people. I only date men who will be good role models to my sons. What makes someone a good role model for them is also what makes them good people in general. I don't know you well enough to offer any substantial advice. I do wish you luck.

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