It's extremely hard to eat healthy when your hubby doesn't.

You are in charge of what you eat, and pushing that onto others is handy, but won't get you anywhere.

That being said...Pancakes aren't that bad, and if you add a scoop a vanilla protien to the batter they are even better. Another handy thing is that they freeze easily. Cook a batch, let them cool, place wax or parchment paper between each one, throw them into a ziploc bag and into the freezer (~2-4weeks). Then he can pop one in the microwave (20sec) or toaster and have his pancake while you go about your day, or you can sit down and join him for one.

My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.

Why in the world are you fixing your husbands pancakes? Does he not know how to work the oven? If he wants a green smoothie....sure....make him one while your making yours. He wants pancakes.....he's on his own.

This. (and for the record, this is difficult for all of us, not just people whose spouses don't encourage their efforts)

Same, but it's my dad and my brother for me. I want to please them, so I cook what they want. And yet when they eat this stuff, they stay thin and I have to really work at it.

I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. .... especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.

First of all as what many others have said, you CAN eat a pancake - plan for it in your day
Second - Well, he could fix it himself - and its not that hard - I know this because right now my meals consist of meat and veggies but I always make a side of carbs - potatoes, noodles etc for my family and I dont touch BUT if I wanted to I could easily accommodate for this

I have a motto in my house - eat it or starve - so they eat the healthy options I give them OR they make their own meal

My husband eats like **** and I choose not to eat that way

Just hang in there over time you will have a much stronger will power over time especially as you begin to see more results. I had and frankly still have the same issue with my husband but it balances out overtime, some days I just pass and continue with my plan.

Being "that husband" at one time, I'll offer my unwanted $.02. At no point did I ever "make" my wife make breakfast, lunch or dinner. When she was cooking and asked me what I wanted, I would tell her. If she was on some sort of restrictive diet, then she would end up making two different things. My take on it is this, if you don't want to cook me something different, don't ask me what I want. If I don't want what she's cooking, I know where the kitchen is. I was not about to jump on the bandwagon of restrictive diets and selective foods.

Having said all that, I'll say this, I told my wife when she started eating regular food in moderation and exercising, I would be happy to join her and support her. Well...that's how I ended up here...and I have no regrets.

I don't want a black bean brownie, I don't want fake replacement food, I want real food. But...I'm also responsible for my calorie intake, not my wife, not my MFP friends, not my mom, not my son...nobody but me.

If you "have" to cook for your husband, then either figure out a way to add the pancakes into your goals, or have him cook for himself. If cooking for himself is not an option and the pancakes don't fit your goals, then you might want to have a serious discussion with him about your goals and what he can do to help you reach them. But, be able to discuss them without the "you're just trying to sabotage me" attitude. You may not have the same goals as your husband, and he may not have the same goals as you, but until you have a discussion with him and not people on the internet, you can't resolve what you feel is an issue. We can't help you.

I agree with the poster about making healthier versions of pancakes. I'm an "in moderation" person. I don't think you're ever going to get anywhere if you can't eat the things you love in moderation. One of the bonds my husband and I share is food. We cook new recipes together and drool over Food Network shows together, etc. We used to eat fast food all the time but now we try to make healthier versions of the same foods at home. But if I want a pancake, I'm eating one. I'm going to enjoy every single morsel and not feel guilty afterwards. You shouldn't either.

One other thing, when I devote myself hardcore to exercising and eating healthily, my husband generally comes around. It may take a month or so but then I notice he starts coming on runs with me sometimes or eating an apple instead of chips for a snack or doing push-ups/pull-ups at random times. I don't know how long you've been on your journey to health and fitness but it may be that in time your husband will join you on your quest.

I see both sides of this.

I am lucky that my husband is perfectly content to eat a PB sandwich if he doesn't like what I make. I try and compromise and make something I do think he will like but is also healthy and works for my wants and needs.

BUT, if willpower were THAT easy, few of us would be here, right? So there are things that I just have to avoid making or having in the house, else I would lose my mind and go face first into a bag of chips and dips. So I get the "can't eat a pancake" argument if it's one of those things you can't have self control with.

Work on finding things that he likes that also fits into your plan. A meat, a veggie, then maybe a starch for him that you can skip. Find a way to work those things into your diary that you like, like those pancakes.

it's NOT easy. If it were then questions like this would never be asked. Start with small changes and just keep at it. Good luck.

All of you people saying negative things like "take responsibility for your own intake" and "sounds like an excuse, just blame the husband" really need to get a life. I'm not even married, and sometimes it's hard for me not to cheat when my boyfriend always wants to. The forums aren't made for all this negativity--aren't they for SUPPORT?

I just wanted to say solidarity sister--good job on only having one pancake, and all you can do is keep making healthy decisions for you as much as possible and hope that the trickle down affects him or that he decides himself to follow suit.

BOO YOU HATERS. People are human! lol.

It's not negativity. It's tough love. Some people need to be told that they are looking at things wrong. Blaming the husband is the wrong outlook. She needs to look inward and find her will power and motivation, especially since she feels she has to cook her husband a separate meal for breakfast.

Eat 1 pancake without syrup...A little spray butter and sugar free jam makes the pancake around 90 cals....what's wrong with that? Screw the shake, have 2 of those and you are good til lunch for 200 cals!

All of you people saying negative things like "take responsibility for your own intake" and "sounds like an excuse, just blame the husband" really need to get a life. I'm not even married, and sometimes it's hard for me not to cheat when my boyfriend always wants to. The forums aren't made for all this negativity--aren't they for SUPPORT?

I just wanted to say solidarity sister--good job on only having one pancake, and all you can do is keep making healthy decisions for you as much as possible and hope that the trickle down affects him or that he decides himself to follow suit.

BOO YOU HATERS. People are human! lol.

You mad?

Being "that husband" at one time, I'll offer my unwanted $.02. At no point did I ever "make" my wife make breakfast, lunch or dinner. When she was cooking and asked me what I wanted, I would tell her. If she was on some sort of restrictive diet, then she would end up making two different things. My take on it is this, if you don't want to cook me something different, don't ask me what I want. If I don't want what she's cooking, I know where the kitchen is. I was not about to jump on the bandwagon of restrictive diets and selective foods.

Having said all that, I'll say this, I told my wife when she started eating regular food in moderation and exercising, I would be happy to join her and support her. Well...that's how I ended up here...and I have no regrets.

I don't want a black bean brownie, I don't want fake replacement food, I want real food. But...I'm also responsible for my calorie intake, not my wife, not my MFP friends, not my mom, not my son...nobody but me.

If you "have" to cook for your husband, then either figure out a way to add the pancakes into your goals, or have him cook for himself. If cooking for himself is not an option and the pancakes don't fit your goals, then you might want to have a serious discussion with him about your goals and what he can do to help you reach them. But, be able to discuss them without the "you're just trying to sabotage me" attitude. You may not have the same goals as your husband, and he may not have the same goals as you, but until you have a discussion with him and not people on the internet, you can't resolve what you feel is an issue. We can't help you.

This exactly!

I struggled when my husband and I started living together. While not overweight, because of his height, muscle mass, and activtity level, he could eat incredible quantities of food. His TDEE was over 4000. He pretty much ate all day long. It was hard for me to start saying no to meals with him. I still struggle with it. I frequently watch him eat and "enjoy" my water.

I don't have an easy solution. Just a change in mindset. You won't always eat what or when he eats. If it helps, put him in charge of his own food. Save pancakes (or the like) for a weekend breakfast followed by some exercise you can do together - even just a long walk. Give him some incentive by telling him that thinner, fitter people "get busy" more often.

Is he incapable of making his own breakfast? Just saying...

This isn't meant to be rude, but when I found out I had several food allergies, I wasn't going to just make my husband a grilled cheese sandwich while I make myself a bowl of quinoa, beans, and veggies. Now we've gotten to the point where he either loves what I make or I just make myself dinner and I don't worry about what he's doing. That's his responsibility. We both like it this way a lot more. He's responsible for his needs and I'm responsible for mine, and once in a while we both eat the same dinner. It's really less complicated than people think it is.

All of you people saying negative things like "take responsibility for your own intake" and "sounds like an excuse, just blame the husband" really need to get a life. I'm not even married, and sometimes it's hard for me not to cheat when my boyfriend always wants to. The forums aren't made for all this negativity--aren't they for SUPPORT?

I just wanted to say solidarity sister--good job on only having one pancake, and all you can do is keep making healthy decisions for you as much as possible and hope that the trickle down affects him or that he decides himself to follow suit.

BOO YOU HATERS. People are human! lol.

You're right.

The forums are here for support. Especially when you and your boyfriend are looking to cheat.

Next time that happens please drop me a line.