It's extremely hard to eat healthy when your hubby doesn't.
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I know EXACTLY how this feels! My boyfriend and I live together and he's got a crazy fast metabolism and I have slowly been battling his bad eating habits over the last year. He'll easily drink 3 (yes, THREE!) liters of soda A DAY. Mountain Dew no less. For someone who hasn't drank soda in over two years, it's a little disturbing. He's got a 32" waistline (for now) and is heavily muscled through his upper body. Just got blessed by the genetic fairy I guess.
However, I cook for the both of us a lot and have definitely adopted the "you want it, you make it" mentality. One- it helps my boyfriend become more familiar with his cookware- he's gone from kitchen disaster to decent fry cook. Two- when I cook something, he appreciates it more. Three- I get to choose what we eat. I'll make a few suggestions in the healthier realm and we come to a mutual consensus on dinner.
Also, as far as your willpower- there's no better time to start than on one tiny pancake! Look at that pancake and say "Is this worth the 20 minutes on the treadmill it'll cost me?" or "It's a pancake. A PANCAKE! I will NOT be defeated by bisquick!"
Keep your eyes on the prize. That pancake will NEVER be as satisfying as that bikini body or the 10+ years you're adding to your lifespan or even just not being winded going up a flight of stairs. It's all about the little victories!
If all else fails, just factor it into your daily calories and don't beat yourself up. It's not about winning every battle, it's about winning the war.0 -
Every Saturday morning I make a dozen pancakes & freeze most of them to last the week, my treat is 2 blueberry pancakes every Saturday after a run. During the week daughter has fresh blueberry pancakes, 20 seconds in a Microwave just slightly warm & yummy .
Mumofzoe0 -
i dont think some of u understand that when youre just starting out trying to lose weight and eat right it is not easy. if i cook pancakes for my man, im an addict so i must have pancakes as well. until i slowly find my way to eating healthy then its too hard to not have one. when youre an addict u must have that drug. so dont say shes blaming the husband. its an addiction and we're supposed to be here to help her not put her down. some of u are so damn rude!0
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I like cooking things for my family that they lie, evennifnit's not the best food for me. I don't think one should have to choose between 'food that fits into their calorie/macros" and "cooking to please loved ones"
Maybe you can make a big batch on pancakes on a day you have already eaten, feel full, won't be as tempted to eat them... And freeze them in individuals portions, your husband can pop a couple pancakes in the toaster oven for the rest of the week while you drink your green smoothie.
Or plan a yummy homemade breakfast once a week as a something special together. It"s once a week and planned for-so easy to make it fit.0 -
One thing that works amazingly well in my house:
When I'm planning the meals for the next few days (so I can plan my grocery list), I simply ask hubby if he has any requests. Same for the kids, actually. Then I decide how I can best fit some (or even all) of these requests into the family meals and still make it fit my own goals. I cook one meal at a time instead of 2 (I never made multiple meals before, I'm not starting now), I still get to fit my food and fitness goals, family feels like they still get to eat some of their favorites. It's all win.0 -
Every Saturday morning I make a dozen pancakes & freeze most of them to last the week, my treat is 2 blueberry pancakes every Saturday after a run. During the week daughter has fresh blueberry pancakes, 20 seconds in a Microwave just slightly warm & yummy .
Mumofzoe
I just posted something similar.... I Should have read ahead, I guess..0 -
I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
I do the same thing to my husband, I love chips and he wants to buy chips he has to buy Doritos, it's the only kind I don't like lol0 -
It is hard when Hubby is not eating well. I have slowly trained mine. I cook dinner so everyone eats the same as I do. If they want more food the family might make themselves some toast to add to dinner. For breakfast everyone is on their own. (My kids are teens so they can make their own food)
I figure if I need to eat healthy so does my family. Ocasionally they eat the junk but they are all changing their tastes gradually to healthy food.
It took a while for my hubby to "get it" However he will cook his own food and not ask me to make something I am not eating.
One Pancake won't kill you either. Just adjust the rest of your day
If you can get him to eat healthy with you it would be better for the family. He can get healthy and live longer.
Good Luck0 -
I agree with other posters who say a pancake isn't such a bad breakfast. You can top the pancake ith fresh fruits to bulk it up, add more nutrients and feel more satisfied. I had a craving for french toast this morning, so made it using whole wheat bread and egg substitute. Its all about finding a balance in eating better but not feeling as if you are giving up things you really like. If you aren't enjoying what you eat, it will be harder to stick to your new, healthier lifestyle.0
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I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard.
Stop making excuses. Find the will power.
OR
Tell him to make his own pancakes so you can better yourself.0 -
Do you want the keep the weight off for good?
This is one of the toughest, but it's the very first problem you'll have to deal with.
Yes, we do control our environment at home, but at some point, we're going to have go out and eat with relatives, coworkers, and lots of other people who don't really know or care if you are trying to lose weight. You might walk around a city block with lots of people eating lots of horrible stuff, and so on. You might walk into a bakery or grocery store. Will you fall apart then?
Might I suggest a bit of a perspective change? Consider this the very first "head game" you need to overcome. Consider your husband's own eating habits as a friendly opponent, sort of like a soccer scrimmage game, rather than someone trying to sabotage you. Because it's only going to get harder.
These are the mental habits that will decide if you have long-term success or not. Sometimes the folks here can be a bit blunt when pointing it out, but mostly because they've been there themselves and realize that this is what people usually need to hear.
Like some of the others, I lost the weight totally independent of how others eat, including those in my family. Yes, it stinks turning down that 1,500-calorie Blizzard that everyone else is having, but with a bit of a mental shift, I learned to allow myself that small 300-cal ice-cream dish, enjoy it, and fit it all in.
I like this! There are always going to be temptations but it's figuring out how to get through them long term that is important. Make an active decision to not give in to the pancakes (at least sometimes) and you might just suprise yourself finding willpower you said you didn't have!
GREAT ADVICE!!0 -
I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard.
Stop making excuses. Find the will power.
OR
Tell him to make his own pancakes so you can better yourself.
Precisely!0 -
You can too! Don't sell yourself short and say you can't do it. It really isn't that hard! Just work on willpower if you really don't want the pancake then don't eat it. Also there is nothing wrong with making your hubby breakfast as long as you are happily doing so. I cook for my hubby everyday whatever he wants (within reason). I don't eat grains but hubby and son do and I make some good French toast that I haven't eaten in 18 months!
Get real either you want them or you don't. Eat one or don't. Don't blame what someone else is eating for the reason you choose to eat it.0 -
My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.
Unless you're in a relationship with some of the same eating habits as you, it's really challenging. I gained weight in my last two relationships: one was naturally slim and could eat whatever he wanted and never gained and ounce and the other was overweight and didn't care about what he ate. It is really difficult to be in these situations especially when food can become such a central focus and bonding experience in a relationship.0 -
My husband would not respond well if I told him what he is and isn't allowed to do. I'm not his mom or boss. And I'd hate for him to tell me what I am allowed to do.
I feel for you though, my super skinny husband eats cookies every night after dinner. I don't want to cut him off from cookies since he can afford the calories so we comprimise - he's only allowed to buy cookies that that I don't like and therefore aren't tempted to eat!
I do the same thing to my husband, I love chips and he wants to buy chips he has to buy Doritos, it's the only kind I don't like lol0 -
My little rant. Take this morning for instance. I usually have a green smoothie for breakfast, but hubby wants buttermilk pancakes, so I'm cooking pancakes. I can't fix pancakes and not eat one, it's just too hard. I don't have that kind of will power, at least not yet. So oh well, all I know is I'll just have to try to eat good the rest of the day. I'll have my smoothie & hard boiled egg for lunch and fix chicken breast for dinner. Food is the toughest thing for me to deal with, especially when hubby is always eating bad stuff in front of me or having me fix it.
I deal with this all the time. My husband eats crap foods. And what I mean by that is frozen pizza, pizza rolls, frozen chicken nuggets, french fries.. anything frozen. So, I made him a deal. He can have the freezer and I will take the fridge. I have my fresh fruits/veggies in my section and he has his "crap" in the other.
Encourage your husband to fix his own dang breakfast/snacks/horrible foods- he isn't broken I'm sure so he can do it. I get that you want to be an awesome wife and do this for him, but if it tempts you that much then have him do it.
Another thing you can do is have your husband NOT ask if you want a bite or anything. He should be able to eat it in front of you because that's just real life, but I know for the longest time my husband would stick the spoon in my face asking if I wanted a bite. He learned to just not ask me.
You have to talk with your spouse about it, he should be supportive in your goals.0 -
i dont think some of u understand that when youre just starting out trying to lose weight and eat right it is not easy. if i cook pancakes for my man, im an addict so i must have pancakes as well. until i slowly find my way to eating healthy then its too hard to not have one. when youre an addict u must have that drug. so dont say shes blaming the husband. its an addiction and we're supposed to be here to help her not put her down. some of u are so damn rude!
I think it's a bit early to be diagnosing OP with a pancake addiction isn't it?
I haven't seen one person put the OP down. They're just giving her their advice based on the information they've been given.0 -
My husband eats like crap 75% of the time as well. I will make him treats like pancakes on occasion, but he is certainly getting used to making the unhealthy things for himself now. It was really hard for me in the beginning when he would expect me to bake for him. We have come to the agreement now that he either bakes for himself or buys something premade.
Changing my habits have rubbed off on him though. On occasion now I can get him to eat whole wheat bread instead of white & have convinced him to take a vegetable of some sort with his lunch. And of course what I cook for supper is usually pretty healthy & that is what he eats. If it were not for his love of beer & cake, he might actually loose along with me. One small change at a time though, you can't force a person to do this.0 -
Being "that husband" at one time, I'll offer my unwanted $.02. At no point did I ever "make" my wife make breakfast, lunch or dinner. When she was cooking and asked me what I wanted, I would tell her. If she was on some sort of restrictive diet, then she would end up making two different things. My take on it is this, if you don't want to cook me something different, don't ask me what I want. If I don't want what she's cooking, I know where the kitchen is. I was not about to jump on the bandwagon of restrictive diets and selective foods.
Having said all that, I'll say this, I told my wife when she started eating regular food in moderation and exercising, I would be happy to join her and support her. Well...that's how I ended up here...and I have no regrets.
I don't want a black bean brownie, I don't want fake replacement food, I want real food. But...I'm also responsible for my calorie intake, not my wife, not my MFP friends, not my mom, not my son...nobody but me.
If you "have" to cook for your husband, then either figure out a way to add the pancakes into your goals, or have him cook for himself. If cooking for himself is not an option and the pancakes don't fit your goals, then you might want to have a serious discussion with him about your goals and what he can do to help you reach them. But, be able to discuss them without the "you're just trying to sabotage me" attitude. You may not have the same goals as your husband, and he may not have the same goals as you, but until you have a discussion with him and not people on the internet, you can't resolve what you feel is an issue. We can't help you.
Well said and congratulations on the weight loss. My husband and I don't talk much about what I'm doing here, but he is very supportive. He does most of the cooking and if it doesn't fit into my day, I just eat a little. He has changed his views on what's healthy and what's not and tries hard to cook what he knows I will like. He could lose a few pounds, but he quit smoking a year ago and to me that was the most important thing he could do to improve his health.0 -
Yep, I used to have the same problem but then I just decided to cook healthy meals and told him if he didn't want what I made, then he could make something else....and surprise, he eats what I make every time lol!!!0
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Hope Mills pancakes 150 per serving, get about 3 pancakes for 1/3 cup of dry mix, add water it expands of course, then top with Walden farms pancake syrup, no cals, no carbs, nothing, so just 150 cals for pancakes, their pancake syrup taste almost like sugar free syrup, you can go that way too, sugar free is about 1/4 cup 25 cals, so think outside the box0
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I know what you mean. My partner isn't a terrible eater, but just not as good as I'd like her to be. Sometimes the diet goes totally out of the window, which I don't mind, because it usually means we're having a good time together.
Try talking to him, I'm sure he'll understand. Tell him your diet/weight loss is really important to you and something you want to concentrate on for you, and if he cares about the things you care about, he'll understand. He'll have to cook for himself, or join you for a healthy dinner. Try meeting in the middle - see what he wants to eat and cook a healthier version of that food.
Good luck to you!0 -
I feel bad for some of the husbands after reading this thread. My husband works very hard to put food on our table and to give us a good life so damn right I will gladly fix him pancakes. I am responsible for what food goes in my mouth. If I want a pancake I have a pancake and i take full responsibility for it.
Stop blaming your husband for your lack of self control!0 -
Try to give him choices. If he doesn't like the choices I would put him out on his own. If it is a problem for you, you need to take care of you. Try to sit down with him and explain this to him. If he is on his own he may start coming back to you or find another alternative.0
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I see how this would be difficult. I don't live with my bf yet, but when we eat out, it's not always easy to order the grilled lean protein while he has a burger and fries. But, I made a committment to myself that I would change my habits, and feeling confident and healthy is better than any 1000 calorie burger. You just need to remind yourself of why you're doing this. It does feel unfair sometimes that he can eat whatever he wants and I can't, but such is life.0
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This may have already been said....but,
Talk to your husband about being more supportive. Even if he doesn't need to lose weight, there's nothing wrong with having a healthy meal instead of pancakes. Or, have him make his own pancakes. My willpower sucks and there is no way I'd be able to pass those up. I make pancakes for the kids sometimes and you can beleive a consume a couple (with some sugar free jelly...).
I'm super fortunate to have a very support fiance. We don't even keep bad food in the house, despite him liking it. He is not overweight in any way, but has committed himself to eating healthy with me, mainly for support. I cook often, but it's things that we both eat.
We both work equally hard to support our family, so I dont' feel any obligation to serve him whatever his heart desires. However, I of course surprise him with some special treats ocassionally
he's not deprived. 0 -
There are a ton of healthy homemade pancake recipes out there. If he wants things you think are bad, then start making better versions of them. I like to eat healthy but I know my husband likes indulgent meals too. There's no reason why you can't eat better versions of the same foods. He may even like them better.0
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For things like that have you tried just making the whole batch then freeze them in freezer bags in the amounts he eats. I do this with pancakes and waffles. That way when he wants those I have them already made and just pop in the microwave for pancakes or pop the waffles into the toaster. That way he still gets homemade ones and you can make them healthier. Use half the sugar (I tend to just use the 1-2 tbsp it calls for but in things that call for large amounts i half) and use whole wheat flour for at least half the flour.0
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As someone else said... we really can't help you. What it comes down to is willpower. I understand it's hard. Trust me. My willpower comes in waves and I can't always so no. I'm not married so I'm not gonna pretend I completely undersand what you are feeling but this feels similar to my life at home where my family, although they eat MUCH better then they used to, still buys cakes, chocolates, chips sugary cereals etc. Would I rather not have it in the house? Of course. But, I have to have the willpower to say no. And what helps is if I have my own, seperate food in the house that I love and can eat insted of all the junk food. If you want to cook for your husband but you dont like his food choices, either:
1. Have it make it himself
2. Get some willpower and say no to yourself when you are making them. You are only gonna have willpower if you try. It doesnt sound like your trying.
3. Have a "bad" pancake and know that it's ok
4. Make his pankcakes and also make your own breakfast
No matter what, the real issue here is that you need to learn how to tell yourself no, or learn how to eat in moderation. If you can't do those things, in the end you won't be successful in your weight loss journey. it sounds harsh but it's true.0 -
Fortunately, as long as he doesn't have to cook, my husband will eat what I make. I know you want to do things for your spouse, but right now, he needs to "get with the plan". If you make something for him, figure out a lower calorie version for you. In this case, just have one pancake, but put a little fresh fruit on it with a small amount of sugar free syrup. It will satisfy that desire, but will keep the calorie count lower for you. If the temptation is too strong, just do as another person suggested....let him get the pancakes at a diner or restaurant. Right now, until you feel "stronger", you need to concentrate on what you're doing for yourself. No one else will do this for you. I've been doing this for seven weeks and I am so pleased with how this works for me. I just want everyone that tries this method of weight loss to feel the same way. Keep up the good work, take care of yourself....I wish you the very best.0
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