pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

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  • dewsmom78
    dewsmom78 Posts: 498 Member
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    it definitely alters your body and your metabolism. i know that after having my daughter and being in my mid-30s, my metabolism has changed (slowed down). i've had to change the way i workout and be very disciplined with my food in order to see results. it's def not as easy to lose weight as it was when i was younger.


    Totally agree. I had my daughter 15 months ago at age 33. I gained 45lbs with her, lost 30 right away, then slowly lost 5 last year. This year I am still trying to lose the last 10bs. I can tell my metabolism has totally changed.
  • whierd
    whierd Posts: 14,025 Member
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    "Ruin" is a subjective term in this case. Change is a better term. Some women experience little change, while others get a lot of stretch marks or a belly pooch. It varies quite a bit. But it in no way makes you unattractive if you do have changes.

    A belly pooch will largely go away with proper nutrition and exercise. Stretch marks? They just aren't a big deal. Most people have stretch marka and I have personally never thought less of a woman for having them.
  • DawnieB1977
    DawnieB1977 Posts: 4,248 Member
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    Well done to you for looking good, you're lucky! I totally agree that pregnancy isn't an excuse to 'let yourself go' but not everyone's body reacts in the same way to pregnancy.

    I exercised until I was 34 weeks pregnant with my first. I was 31 and have never been naturally slim, I've always had to work at it. I had a short break from exercise when I had some bleeding as it scared me. I worked full time as a teacher up to 36 weeks. I still put on weight. The nausea in early pregnancy had me craving carbs which I usually limit and at the end I probably did eat too much sweet stuff, so that is entirely my own fault.

    I lost the weight I put in though but put it all on again and more in my 2nd pregnancy. I had early bleeding again, the nausea was worse, and I had my toddler son to look after and I was exhausted. Because I'd lost weight by living off salad, as soon as I ate normally in pregnancy I put weight on again.

    My daughter is 2 on Sun and I'm now smaller than I've been for 10 years, but I still have a mummy tummy, despite lots and lots of exercise!

    So not everyone can be lucky and not everyone is blessed with good genetics.

    It's like me saying, well, I gave birth just using gas and air and didn't even need stitches, hey, everyone, you can do that too! No, I was lucky with labour and and birth and can recognise that!
  • Slendertree
    Slendertree Posts: 12
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    I'm one of the "lucky" ones. I had 4 kids in 5 years and I have a flat stomach and very few stretch marks. I DO have good genes. Not every body is going to handle pregnancy the same. Our bodies are not all built the same.

    You look great.
  • kawickham85
    kawickham85 Posts: 62 Member
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    by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

    and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.
  • nytius
    nytius Posts: 173 Member
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    also very sweet to discuss your mother's boobs on the internet with strangers.

    I was back to take up for you. This disappoints.

    This :( I had a whole spiel planned on the positive intent of the OP and I think I'll just keep it.
  • _chiaroscuro
    _chiaroscuro Posts: 1,340 Member
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    All I'm gonna say is that it never ceases to amaze me what lengths folks on the Internet will go to just to avoid saying "My bad, I probably shouldn't have said that."

    You think you're gonna get that from someone who lists her main inspiration as herself?

    I list myself first under inspiration too. Not sure why that implies something negative?
  • kitka82
    kitka82 Posts: 350 Member
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    "Ruin" is a subjective term in this case. Change is a better term. Some women experience little change, while others get a lot of stretch marks or a belly pooch. It varies quite a bit. But it in no way makes you unattractive if you do have changes.

    A belly pooch will largely go away with proper nutrition and exercise. Stretch marks? They just aren't a big deal. Most people have stretch marka and I have personally never thought less of a woman for having them.

    Exactly.
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    and my body is definitely not perfect. i'm still breastfeeding my 1.5 year old and definitely have lost some volume in that area. i'm merely working with what i got.

    Still breastfeeding at a year and a half? Great job! My son was 14 months when he decided he was done with it. I was kind of glad to lose the nursing bras and huge (for me) boobs though.
  • Achrya
    Achrya Posts: 16,913 Member
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    The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.
    presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.

    you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.

    if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?

    the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.

    I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?

    I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.

    "You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
    "I don't want to get fat."
    "It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
    "...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
    "(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
    "I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
    "Well that's just SELFISH!"

    Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.

    And it's the OP that's Judgy McJudgerson eh? Way to generalize.

    I didn't say it was a deterrent, I said it scared the beejesus out of me. I'm 30 years old, I don't have the luxury to go around another 5 years to rock my new body around before I decide to have kids. I'm fully aware it's my own fault for not taking steps sooner. Might want to stop passing on your frustrations on random internet people.

    What are you talking about? I wasn't talking about you? Why in the world would you assume something that highlights my own selfishness was about you or passing on my frustrations (What frustrations did I demonstrate, btw?) to you or anyone else?

    I am not one to say someone who is offended is over-sensitive, as the things we take to heart vary wildly from person to person...but in this case you might be reading too much into a statement that literally had nothing to do with you.


    That aside, to the person who said it was nice of me to pitch in for my mom's surgery than you. I feel like, considering, we kind of owe her. And to the OP, my mother doesn't mind if I discuss her boobs on the internet; she's not ashamed of them and is certainly not ashamed of her plan to get work done, but I'll pass along your apparent concern to her.
  • badjuju775
    badjuju775 Posts: 47
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    My tummy, butt and thighs are ruined since I had my two 11 pound boys. With my first I went from 108lbs. to 197lbs. With my second I went from 157lbs. to 201lbs. After my second, I got back down to 118lbs. but never felt good about myself because of my flabby tummy pooch, jiggily thighs and butt with stretch marks so bad that it looks like a cat got ahold of it and used it as a scratching post. Right now I'm at 159 and working on getting back in the 120-125 range. My husband says that when I get back to a weight that I'm happy with he's going to let me get a tummy tuck / lipo to get rid of my stretched out tummy and thighs. I don't blame my kids or my husband for ruining my body. I blame it on genetics. My mom had terrible stretch marks and was flabby too.
  • alannamoody
    alannamoody Posts: 1 Member
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    I totally agree. I have five kids... and ruined my body during the first pregnancy. I was totally stupid and not health conscience and I thought, "I'm getting fat... I'll eat whatever I want." I REALLY wish I hadn't done that. The last four pregnancies didn't do much to change my body after that abuse. BUT, that being said I wouldn't DREAM of trading in one of my kids for my pre-pregnancy cute body. They are my everything. If I had it to do over again, I'd definitely be more careful, but I'll never debate if having kids was worth it. If you are debating, be warned that there's WAY more than your body that you'll have to sacrifice for your kids--but again... they're so worth it!
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
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    I turned out better than a lot of women who have multiple pregnancies. I had three kids, I still have stretch marks and such, but you know, I wouldn't have changed a thing. I love bearing the memory marks of being the only one who held my children closer than anyone else ever will.
  • Ashwee87
    Ashwee87 Posts: 695 Member
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    YOU look great; but you are one of the few and far between that look that great pregnant and post-partum. I looked like CRAP. Granite, I was also overweight already before getting pregnant, it did make things worse.

    So while I am glad you had such a great experience and are a special snowflake....most of us other women are not so lucky.
  • ChLoE1130
    ChLoE1130 Posts: 1,696 Member
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    The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.

    I am with you! I started reading this thread hoping it would give me some hope and positive energy for after I have my baby, but all it did was scare me to death.....no turning back now though!
  • Mamahana82
    Mamahana82 Posts: 64
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    by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

    and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

    You know a lot of women like this? Or are you making broad, sweeping generalizations....yet again based off ONE person you know who did something different than you did. :noway:
  • JenAndSome
    JenAndSome Posts: 1,893 Member
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    "Ruin" is a subjective term in this case. Change is a better term. Some women experience little change, while others get a lot of stretch marks or a belly pooch. It varies quite a bit. But it in no way makes you unattractive if you do have changes.

    A belly pooch will largely go away with proper nutrition and exercise. Stretch marks? They just aren't a big deal. Most people have stretch marka and I have personally never thought less of a woman for having them.

    Thank you for a man's perspective. :drinker: :flowerforyou:
  • sixthsense
    sixthsense Posts: 22
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    I'm going to keep my mouth closed so I don't get a strike. :grumble:

    me too

    Me three!!
  • kawickham85
    kawickham85 Posts: 62 Member
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    i based it off of many people in my family along with many friends. i hate it when i see people call themselves fat or talk bad about their bodies and not do anything about it. i hate it more when said person is a mother and there are children around who can hear them. i grew up with a mom who always called herself 'fat' and 'gross'. when i would try to help her (even as a teen) by making dinner that is low cal and showing her how good it was, she took the, 'i'll just stick with what i'm doing' approach. i see this A LOT. it is annoying.
  • Rhiana1188
    Rhiana1188 Posts: 67 Member
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    Doesn't happen that way for everyone. Maybe if you only have one baby when you are young...? But age plays a factor. So does genetics, skin elasticity and metabolism. Number of babies counts, too. In September I had my third kid in less than 4 years. 8 months later and 40 pounds gone since my last baby was born, I still have a belly pouch. I eat pretty dang clean and work out every day, and I would give anything for your tummy...
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