pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

OP, you look great! I, too, was extremely fortunate that pregnancy didn't leave any permanent damage to my body. No stretch marks, loose skin, etc.. I think it has a lot to do with genetics. My Mom had 6 kids and not a stretch mark or bit of loose skin on her body. Unfortunately, not everyone has such a good experience. I've had women act very hateful towards me in the past because my body was not "ruined" by pregnancy....it's a very touchy subject.

I understand you were just trying not to worry women who haven't had children yet...but pregnancy treats all of our bodies differently. (nothing to do with "letting yourself go") If people want a vague idea of how they'll look afterwards, look at your mothers.

If people want a vague idea of how they'll look afterwards, look at your mothers.

My mom had six kids and zero stretch marks/loose skin. All four of her daughters have stretch marks (some from general weight gain, some from pregnancy). If I were to ever become pregnant, I know I'd look nothing like my mom afterward. Not. fair.

I am a Mommy, damnit! Therefore I have the right to sit upon my Judgy McJudgerson throne in my Ivory tower with the other Mommies!

The weather is FABULOUS up here. I see why you all hang out up here.


*to the OP - I am being totally sarcastic. I understand what you're saying, and you're right. Good on you for taking care of yourself during what can be a very difficult time. God knows I didn't, but I am now, so that's all that matters*

*to the other "Mommies" - ISN'T THE WEATHER UP HERE IN THIS IVORY TOWER FABBBUULLLOUUUUSS?!*

I have to say, I share Lea's thoughts :drinker: :smokin:

recently, i heard someone say they dont want kids because they dont want their body to be 'ruined'. i posted this to show people that having kids does not automatically ruin your body

And THIS is what I heard BEFORE the OP had to say it.....

Ladies, check the hormones & reel in some crazy

:laugh:

OP, you look great! I, too, was extremely fortunate that pregnancy didn't leave any permanent damage to my body. No stretch marks, loose skin, etc.. I think it has a lot to do with genetics. My Mom had 6 kids and not a stretch mark or bit of loose skin on her body. Unfortunately, not everyone has such a good experience. I've had women act very hateful towards me in the past because my body was not "ruined" by pregnancy....it's a very touchy subject.

I understand you were just trying not to worry women who haven't had children yet...but pregnancy treats all of our bodies differently. (nothing to do with "letting yourself go") If people want a vague idea of how they'll look afterwards, look at your mothers.

Or we just don't compare ourselves at all! No pregnancy is the same, and neither are any of us. I could have looked at my mom and had high expectations of literally not showing the entire pregnancy but SURPRISE I got pregnant with multiples. OP stated she searched the internet wanting to know what to expect. I find this so strange. I expected to look like ME pregnant. haha

Look in the mirror. Do 'YOUR' best!
Is it good to aspire to things? Yes!

However, I think the only person we should ever compare ourselves to is ourself. I can't measure myself with the measuring stick of someone else. It will always come back short or long.

Always measure yourself with your own ruler. :flowerforyou:

You just lucky with the strech marks.You have to see my belly 4 years post delivery of twins.I dare you! :P

i never intended to make strangers on the internet feel bad. i find it odd that strangers can be made to feel bad by other strangers on the internet. that's just something i'll never understand.

Yet you think you can make strangers feel good via the internet? :huh:

Just to throw out how my pregnancy ruined my body:
- eczema
- a permanent front butt (vertical Caesarian)
- exasperated depression

by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

But you DO realize, don't you, that we're all here because we ARE trying? And this might just be why so many have found your post to be, hmmm, how shall I say this nicely, "not very helpful or motivating."

This, exactly. Maybe the reason this thread is blowing up this way is because the audience you're posting to is NOT sitting around eating donuts and milkshakes, letting themselves go. Personally, I'm busting *kitten* every day, sweating, pushing myself to new limits. I haven't had pasta in months. I don't eat dessert. I eat as clean as I possibly can. I drink boat loads of water because I threw out all the Dr. Pepper. Good for you if your body bounced right back. Even six month PP, your tummy looked amazing. But that's not realistic. There are a ton of things that factor into it, and every body is individual in the way it changes. Some of us get stretch marks, lucky you, you didn't. Some of us have abnormal swelling, some of our abs separate. There are SO MANY conditions that obviously didn't affect you. Maybe your pregnancy wasn't perfect, but your body damn sure wasn't as "changed" as the rest of ours. So for you to throw up pics of your great body and say, "Hey look at me, kids don't mess up your body. Just eat right and exercise" well, that IS kind of offensive. And honestly, it sparks a little jealousy. It's also kind of like false advertising...

by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

But you DO realize, don't you, that we're all here because we ARE trying? And this might just be why so many have found your post to be, hmmm, how shall I say this nicely, "not very helpful or motivating."

This, exactly. Maybe the reason this thread is blowing up this way is because the audience you're posting to is NOT sitting around eating donuts and milkshakes, letting themselves go. Personally, I'm busting *kitten* every day, sweating, pushing myself to new limits. I haven't had pasta in months. I don't eat dessert. I eat as clean as I possibly can. I drink boat loads of water because I threw out all the Dr. Pepper. Good for you if your body bounced right back. Even six month PP, your tummy looked amazing. But that's not realistic. There are a ton of things that factor into it, and every body is individual in the way it changes. Some of us get stretch marks, lucky you, you didn't. Some of us have abnormal swelling, some of our abs separate. There are SO MANY conditions that obviously didn't affect you. Maybe your pregnancy wasn't perfect, but your body damn sure wasn't as "changed" as the rest of ours. So for you to throw up pics of your great body and say, "Hey look at me, kids don't mess up your body. Just eat right and exercise" well, that IS kind of offensive. And honestly, it sparks a little jealousy. It's also kind of like false advertising...

FYI, MFP forums come up on google searches too.

I agree that pregnancy should not be thought of as "ruining" your body, but it sure as heck will change it. I have four lovely children ranging in age from 7 years to 15 years (I was 26 with my first and 34 with my last one) and I will NEVER have my post baby body back. And it's not because I let myself go. It's because when you stretch something out that many times, for that long a time, it ain't going back. And after two babies that weighed 9.5 lbs each, I have stretch marks and a "pooch", and probably always will. I've been working out and I've lost 45 lbs of leftover fat over the year. Is the pooch smaller? Yes. Will it ever go away? Probably not. Do I give a d*mn? Not especially. I like my new body, stretch marks, pooch and all. Because it's a lot stronger and fitter than my pre-baby "skinny-fat" wimpy little body ever was.

I never once said that she didn't love or adore her child(ren)!

It will treat every body differently. I didn't gain any stretch marks from mine but my sister-in-law got some massive tiger striping. My breasts haven't sagged but her pancaked. I'm glad your pregnancy didn't change your body too much but it will vary greatly from person to person.

i'm sure another person given my same situation would think they didn't fare all that well. the hyperemesis during pregnancy, needing back surgery, the hair loss, the now deflated boobies... definitely didn't make for an ideal pregnancy and post baby body. HOWEVER, i dont focus on these things. yes, genetics made it so i dont have loose skin. genetics also helped me not get any stretch marks. but genetics didn't keep my ab muscles from being stretched apart. i had to work my butt off to get them back to where they used to be. genetics also didn't help me lose weight either (i'm now 17 lbs under where i was prepregnancy). In fact, all the women in my family are overweight. I dont dwell on the negative and instead i focus on the positive... most of which was given from me to me. not courtesy of genetics.

OP, I think, and correct me if I am wrong, your intent was to say we have to work to get our bodies back after pregnancy, but that it can be done. In that regard I totally agree. I have lost all but 2 lbs of my pregnancy weight, and I never used pregnancy as an excuse to keep the weight on. Good for you for taking control of your health.
Please understand, though, for me it initially felt like a judgement on me because I just don't look that good in the belly area any more. It's hard to feel comfortable at the beach, having to hide my loose skin, and I am finally at a place in my life where I am gaining some comfort with my imperfections, and part of where that comes from is feeeling like I am part of a "sisterhood" with other mothers...that we all have these little imperfections and scars to deal with, and so we forgive them in eachother and see eachother's beauty.
Your intitial post, and your subsequent comments about people in your family who are not as slim, teach me that there are people in this world who do still judge me based on my appearance, and cannot forgive my imperfections, because they may interpret them as character flaws. That is why it made me, and possibly others, defensive. I hope I have misinterpreted.
I don't think our bodies are "ruined" - even those of us who have belly flaps and shredded stomachs, and boobs worthy of nicknaming :flowerforyou: Sorry if you are getting a bit roasted, that's how we roll in the MFP. Peace.

I'm never going to say my baby "ruined" my body no matter what I look like.

So Congrats to those who achieved their goals and good luck to those working on them. And Congrats on your kids too.

This ^^^. Speaking as one who thought she'd never have children and was blessed with a beautiful daughter in my 40's, I'd like to say "Happy Mothers' Day" to you all, battle scars and all! :smooched:

Its nice that some people can go through pregnancy without a massive body change. I have the misfortune of crap skin. My tummy is a mass of stretch marks and i also had 1 section and still have my scar. I don't however see these as negative i see it as being a tigress who earned her stripes. Would i prefer not to have stretch marks and a scar?.. heck yeah but i am not hung up about it. So i have to buy a tankini instead of a bikini. Not the end of the world... However i cannot blame pregnancy for the fact i weighed almost 18.5 stones at my heaviest so yeah OP is correct, having kids is not an excuse to pile on the beef and use the infamous " ah well, i am eating for 2" excuse. Pregnancy comes with all manner of ailments and injuries, We all know about most of these when we decide to go forth and multiply. I bet there is not 1 mother here who is bitter towards their children because of the body changes carrying them caused.

OP A lot of people will understandably be a bit jel that you have no stretch marks and a flat tum as most are not that lucky.

Kudos to you tho, if i got through pregnancy with no marks/scars i am sure i would be showing off too. Not to say that you have also not had to put in a lot of hard work.

Morale of the story, for most having a hot body = effort and exercise. We all have that in common and we all deserve support in maintaining or reaching our goals.

You look amazing, you really do. And good job on getting back into shape.

I'm 5'6" and was 145lbs when I got pregnant with my daughter. I tried to eat healthy but I really had no idea what that meant and no concept of proper portion sizes. I gained 65lbs and by the time she was 2 I had lost 93lbs. I was in great sheep but the skin on my tummy wasn't as tight as it once was and I'm literally covered in stretch marks from belly button to bikini line and straight across (I scar very easily). I don't really care about the stretch marks anymore even though they are very noticeable due to the texture of the skin. I was in great shape but I would have looked a heck of a lot better if I hadn't had a baby. Obviously wouldn't change it for the world as I love my little girl but no everyone is so fortunate.