pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

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  • jenstanley13
    jenstanley13 Posts: 194 Member
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    The ability to "bounce back" after pregnancy has too many factors to name and it is not possible for all of us to bounce back to the body we had before. I am fortunate that only my boobs suffered with stretch marks and my ob did an awesome job on my c/s so i barely have a scar but the fact still remains that i still weigh 20 pounds over my pre-pregnancy weight (mostly due to lack of effort) and even when i get that weight off my tummy may look pretty again but my perky unstretch marked B cups are not going to come back. Some people go back to their prepregnancy size with no problem and feel confident with their body, it is not the case for everyone though and to say that women have let themselves go is not true in the majority of cases. congrats to the OP for your success but I totally get where the resentment is coming from on the other side too...while it is nice to give future moms hope i also think it is wrong to give false hope because the majority of moms i know dont have this much success even with tons of effort.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,713 Member
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    you're bodies aren't ruined!
    the assumption that all our issues are about looks?
    again, some of our issues are health & quality of life issues.
    i'm quoting myself, as so many people really don't get it.
  • dakotababy
    dakotababy Posts: 2,406 Member
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    Anyway, I'd just like to thank the OP for putting out that not everyone's body gets horribly damaged by pregnancy, and that excess weight shouldn't be blamed on only pregnancy. I do think we are accountable for our own health.

    Says someone who has never shared her body with another human being.

    Sorry, I'm bitter, this I know. But, again, for those of us that DID do what they could to keep their bodies fit, it's terribly offensive for someone to blame sloth and overindulgence for the damage done.

    THAT is my problem with the original and continuous statements I keep reading.

    Apparently pregnancy ruins more women's minds and sense of well-being than bodies. That's an ever more important lesson to remember when looking to have children. If I don't want to become nasty and bitter, don't have kids.

    Done and Done! :D Childfree for life!
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
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    Thank you for saying this. I've been trying to find a nice way to say this to people but without photos I didn't feel qualified to do so. In my case pregnancy did certainly change how my skin in my belly area was, but NOT my entire body. I did not blimp out, I bounced back to form quickly and so did a fair amount of my friends. Health conscious one's of course who followed Dr.s recommendations for cal intake etc. And who maintained a healthy lifestyle in general.

    I wish girls and women didn't see it as some kind of a death sentence to their body, or the other polar opposite, a free license to eat all willy nilly out of control. It's not. If anything it's the time in your life when you should be the MOST diligent and mindful of your intake to get to deliver at a healthy weight and strong figure to have the best chance for a healthy delivery. It's always puzzled me when people let themselves go too much, or on the other side of the spectrum, get so angsty about the whole process and try to limit how much they gain. It's a process that's been working for women for countless years. Trust it. It's truly a miracle. Believe in it.

    Happy Mother's Day!:flowerforyou:
  • BinaryPulsar
    BinaryPulsar Posts: 8,927 Member
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    I agree.
  • DandelionCupcakes
    DandelionCupcakes Posts: 234 Member
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    Happy mother's day.

    Everyone is different.
    Congrats on being sexy, OP.
  • servilia
    servilia Posts: 3,453 Member
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    I don't recall the OP say that no one will get stretch marks or scars/pouches from cssctions. She was stating the fact that it's very possible to not stay overweight, big or whatever, and she's perfectly right in that.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    lol. perfect pregnancy. if you call having hyperemesis and vomitting several times a day, every single day for 4 months straight perfect. I realize that not everyone bounces back as quickly as i did. recently, i heard someone say they dont want kids because they dont want their body to be 'ruined'. i posted this to show people that having kids does not automatically ruin your body. hell, i look better than almost all my childless friends. am i bragging about it? hell ya i am because i'm proud of it.

    I vomited several times a day through my whole pregnancy. In the first four months of pregnancy I vomited up to 7 times in one day. I had polyhydramnios pretty badly which caused me to get tons of stretchmarks all over my belly and hips. I lost 45-55 lbs after I gave birth. Of course, I gained weight after my pregnancy which was my fault, but my stomach will always have stretchmarks.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    The OP pics are hope and all the other comments are scaring the he** out of me. I'm terrified of doing all this work. Losing over 100 lbs, finally have a decent body for once in my life and then ... mangle it with a pregnancy. this is seriously unfair.
    presonally, i always wished i knew that sometimes it did screw you up. just so that when it happened to me i was mentally prepared and knew it was within normal.

    you can't make an educated choice, you can't have informed consent, until you know all of the facts.

    if a person's only reason for not having kids is fear of not looking so pretty after, are they really ready to have kids yet? is it really the best option to lie to them?

    the reality is that pregnancy is a serious business. it can ruin your body and it can endanger your health, or even your life. there are things you can do to minimise the risks but there are no guarantees. yet, if you ask most mums, your kids are more than worth it.

    I've always wondered about the logic of trying to convince women who say things like "I don't want to get fat" that they should have children. Like...why does that sound like a good idea? Does she strike you as a woman with priorities geared towards child rearing?

    I've had this actual conversation with my sister, bless her silly soul.

    "You would be a great mom Chelle, you should do it before you get too old." (I'm 25, btw.)
    "I don't want to get fat."
    "It's not FAT, it's a baby!"
    "...K. I don't want to screw up my body."
    "(insert five minute explanation of how it doesn't screw up your body and even if it does it's so so worth it.)"
    "I spend 3 to 5 hours a day playing video games and I'm not prepared to have a kid interrupting my raid time with their need for food and love and crap."
    "Well that's just SELFISH!"

    Oh. That's the point where I seemed selfish? Not the other stuff? It isn't glaring obvious that I shouldn't be having kids? No? Alright then.

    I did not even like children before I had my own. Now, after having my son, I think he is such an amazing person. My life would be much worse without him. It is so great to be able to know such a wonderful little boy. He is a big reason why I want to get healthy in the first place. He needs a mommy who can take care of him the way he needs it. I actually like children now and want to have more. I do think having a child is worth what happens to your body. I think most women look great aftere pregnancy even with the stretchmarks and other issues.
  • TeresaB1979
    TeresaB1979 Posts: 158 Member
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    Babies can do a lot of damage. Have no doubt about that, folks. :wink:

    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ECJm5bETN-c
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    by "let yourself go", believe it or not i didn't mean 'end up looking like anything other than me'. hahaha. you guys are too funny. I am referring to the women who dont even try. the women who are self described as being "fat", who complain about being overweight/out of shape, the women who HATE their body and yet eat donuts, drink milkshakes, and sit on their *kitten* because they're moms and that what moms do. i have a relative who was pregnant at the same time as i was. we started off the same. same height, same weight. she gained three times as much weight as i did during pregnancy. she said how she was going to 'enjoy' her pregnancy and eat whatever she wanted. i didn't do this. after delivery, she took it easy and still does. i didn't do this. she says things like, "i'd rather have my child and hate my body than love my body and not have my child". i say you can have both: a body you can be proud of AND children. it's not one or the other.

    and yes, i realize that individual results may vary. as long as you do the best you can, that's all that matters.

    You really should not judge people because many people do not believe they really can have a body they can be proud of. I never believed it and still find some difficulty in believing it. I like food. I am not good at portion control. I like to exercise but I am bad at sticking to it. I never really worked on losing weight before because I did not believe I could stick with a diet program and make a real lifestyle change. I have struggled with weight my whole life. I have always had issues with my body and not liked it. It is hard not to believe i am destined to be fat. I know I need to change now though for my husband and son. I just hope I have what it takes to do it.
  • MrsBobaFett
    MrsBobaFett Posts: 802 Member
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    I had gestational diabetes that was left undiagnosed until I was 37 weeks pregnant, my bump was enormous! They let me go until 40 weeks before they induced me as they thought my son would be around 7lbs. He ended up at 9lbs 9oz and I have a stomach that resembles a deflated balloon. I'm working on it now though, I know it will never look the same again but saying that, I don't mind, I will get it to look the best I can. My son was totally worth it!
  • flynnfinn
    flynnfinn Posts: 209 Member
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    first off, happy mothers day to all the mommies out there!

    now back to the topic. my mom had 3 girls, was fairly petite pre-pregnancy, gained 45+ lbs with each of her pregnancies and all my life, i just remember her always having "fluff" around her belly. my mom also never exercised a day in her life. lots of excess skin and stretch marks. she's also a victim of old school c-sections where the incision is vertical instead of horizontal.

    my oldest sister had 4 kids. gained 50+ (one was 60lbs i think) with each pregnancy. also fairly petite pre-pregnancy. she started with her first at 20 so a fairly young mom. she never exercised a day in her life either. she was a big advocate for the "eat for two" pregnancy campaign. all normal childbirths. she has lots of stretch marks and lots of loose excesss skin that only surgery can fix. she is now thinner than pre-pregnancy but the excess skin is still there.

    now on to me. i've been active and an avid exercise fanatic since i was 16 (got my first gym membership at that age!). first and only pregnancy at age of 32. worked out (running which turned into jogging then brisk walking) all throughout my pregnancy even up until had an emergency c-section at 35 weeks and gave birth to a healthy 7lb boy. watched my diet like a hawk, drank a bazillion gallons of water, ate only whole foods and gained at max a mere 20lbs. post-partum was a breeze despite c-section. i was back into my pre-pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of giving birth, in a bikini 7 days after giving birth and now (4 years later), i actually weigh less. i also have no excess skin and no stretch marks.

    genetics? maybe. but they say you are your mother's daughter and my mom ended up with lose skin and stretch marks. i don't really know but all i can say is i busted my bootie before pregnancy, while pregnant and after. i always ate healthily. i was very conscious of everything i put into my body and everything i did to my body. perhaps it's also luck. who knows?
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    Oh and I just wanted to say, my stretch marks don't bother me at all. It is just the fat on my body I am currently losing that has bothered me. Stretch marks, meh, I could carless. No one is going to see it other than me and my hubby. :P

    I agree, though it would be nice to think that someday I could rock a bikini. My stomach has so many issues from my pregnancy that that probably is not going to happen. I don't even have a normal belly button anymore. I am okay with my body. I just want ot lose the fat.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    If people want a vague idea of how they'll look afterwards, look at your mothers.

    My mom had six kids and zero stretch marks/loose skin. All four of her daughters have stretch marks (some from general weight gain, some from pregnancy). If I were to ever become pregnant, I know I'd look nothing like my mom afterward. Not. fair.

    Yes, my mom looked great after her 3 pregnancies. She did not have any stretchmarks and was still a healthy weight. Her boobs aren't messed up either. She did have some other issues (TMI) but she did great. My cousin was like me in that she got ton of stretchmarks all across her belly. She was still very attractive after though and has gotten to a healthy weight. She exercised and lost 15 lbs so she would not be oveweight.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    sorry to hear you are so caught up in the way that you look that you can't see past your body to what it actually produced. I have 2 beautiful children and 2 equally beautiful angels up in heaven. my body has changed no end as a result of having children but i wouldn't go back in time to have my pre pregnancy body and be without any of my children .... every stretch mark, the saggy boobs, the 2 huge scars from emergancy c sections (... that are hidden by the overhang of my belly ... that is numb from the operations) even the bags under my eyes from sitting by bedsides worrying when they are poorly, are all reminders that i am a woman who has done the most amazing thing in the world and how proud i am of my beautiful intelligent fiesty fun-loving little terrors. I certainly don't see it that i have ruined my body and i am far more hung up about spending time watching them grow and develop and nurturing them, loving them and spending every possible minute having fun with them to spend my precious time in a gym trying to get back what i never had in the first place as i'm not perfect .... is anyone???

    Whoa. Just because she looks amazing doesn't mean that she doesn't adore her daughter. She also posted that she's still breastfeeding 18 months later...that takes amazing determination and love to look into a mouthful of teeth and say "OK, I will stick my nipple in that." (****NOT STARTING A BF vs FF DEBATE****)

    That is quite impressive. I only breastfed for 9 months.
  • furrina
    furrina Posts: 148 Member
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    isn't diet and exercise all about generalizations and anecdotal evidence?

    Not if you want to do it correctly.
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    It's partly good genetics. I agree wholeheartedly. I bounced back pretty well after I had DS at age 31 but I was riding a bicycle 10 miles every night (including the night before he was born) and my mother had 5 kids and never wore maternity clothes home from the hospital. DH has taken over converting all the slides Dad took over 4 decades into digital and Dad really liked taking pictures of Mom in her bathing suit over the years!

    If you have a difficult pregnancy and end up needing steroids, months of bed rest, or have other complications, you need to do what you have to do and focus on keeping you and your baby healthy. Having said that, though, I work with 2 wonderful young women blessed with healthy pregnancies who ate up a storm and just piled on the weight. One had her baby in February and is back at Weight Watchers and taking it seriously. The other is due next month and she's going to have a lot to lose after she has her baby. I didn't/don't nag them- I'm their boss, not their mother- but I don't know why they weren't more careful during their pregnancy. While I would never go back to the 1950s (my Ex's Aunt said that one doc would yell at you if you gained more than 2 lbs./month while pregnant), I do think doctors should emphasize keeping the weight gain to a reasonable level.

    You are so out of wack when you are pregnant. I was hungry all the time and if I did not eat I threw up. If I went to long without eating I felt extremely nauseous. I actually did pretty well weight wise during pregnancy but I had a lot of problems eating too much after the pregnancy. Pregnancy changed my eating habits. I used to eat like 2 meals a day before I got pregnant but after I started eating every few hours so I piled on the lbs. I have always had weight problems though.
  • stacelee133
    stacelee133 Posts: 6 Member
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    I am shocked at the amount of women claiming their pregnancies 'ruined' their bodies. I have several friends who would do anything to be blessed with a child and have not been so lucky as of yet.
    Count your blessings ladies!
  • JDBLY11
    JDBLY11 Posts: 577 Member
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    People have children for selfish reasons, why shouldn't people be allowed to NOT have children for selfish reasons? I don't judge anyone for not wanting children. Period.

    this.

    Not sure why people are so offended by her reason not to have kids. Her reason sounds perfectly fine to me. She really doesn't need a good reason NOT to have them as others have stated. Way too many people have kids and then make crappy parents. Having sex and then pushing a baby out of a vagina isn't some big accomplishment that needs to be praised.

    I thought that the o.p.'s post was just rude and condescending towards mothers who haven't had as easy a time in losing the weight as she did.

    I disagree. I think it is a big accomplishment. Conceiving a baby and carrying a baby for 9 months and then caring for a child until adulthood is a great accomplishment. Even if you give up your child for adoption, carrying a baby is an accommplishment. I felt prouder of myself after going through 60 hours of labor and having an emergency cesarean than I have ever felt. The day my son was born was the best day of my life, better than the day I was married. I was so happy and I was one of those people who did not want kids at all. I just decided to give having children a chance because I do not always know what I want and do not want or what is good for me and what is not.
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