pregnancy doesn't "ruin" your body...

Anyway, I'd just like to thank the OP for putting out that not everyone's body gets horribly damaged by pregnancy, and that excess weight shouldn't be blamed on only pregnancy. I do think we are accountable for our own health.

Says someone who has never shared her body with another human being.

Sorry, I'm bitter, this I know. But, again, for those of us that DID do what they could to keep their bodies fit, it's terribly offensive for someone to blame sloth and overindulgence for the damage done.

THAT is my problem with the original and continuous statements I keep reading.

Apparently pregnancy ruins more women's minds and sense of well-being than bodies. That's an ever more important lesson to remember when looking to have children. If I don't want to become nasty and bitter, don't have kids.

Say what you like. But until you have kids and realize you weren't one of the ones blessed with a snap back body which someone else condescends you for (by implying that if you don't look fabulous and toned post-baby that you've "let yourself go") keep your mouth shut.

The OP wasn't implying anything about you. She was saying getting pregnant, having a baby, etc., shouldn't be USED as an EXCUSE to let yourself go. Your insecurity is astounding. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your body, but you can't really accuse someone of insulting you or insinuating things about you that just aren't there. It's ludicrous.

That is a rude statement though! You don't walk in other peoples shoes to know what they have lived through and why they may have those excess pounds or why they do not work on losing them. I have been through a lot since I was married, lived in poverty, had my child who was diagnosed as developmentally delayed, and was hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar. Not everyone is like you or the op who were and are fairly thin. My sister had two babies and bounced back well. She did get a few stretchmarks. She had always been thin though and has a model like body. I have always had problems with my weight. Just because I have those problems does not mean I deserve to be attacked and seen as less than because I am overweight and gained a lot of that weight since I gave birth to my child. I am the same me even if I carry extra pounds. People who do use pregnancy and children as an excuse to gain weight usually learn pretty quickly not to do that. My cousin decided to eat whatever she wanted when she was pregnant and was very unhappy with her body after. She was always a few lbs away from a healthy weight though and ended up losing 15 lbs and getting to a healthy weight. She looks great even if she will never wear a bikini again because of her stretchmarks on her belly.

Some people battle with their weight and people who are naturally thin or only a few lbs overweight cannot understand what a struggle it is to get thin when you are prone to overeating and not being active enough.

Bitter or not, the women dissenting the OP's viewpoint that you can look as good as you did pre-pregnancy is perfectly valid. Many are stating that her OP is simply NOT accurate. It isn't true for all women. It isn't true for a lot of women. And not because they let themselves go, or aren't working hard enough, but because pregnancy and birth changes a woman's body physically, in some ways that are completely out of the mother's control.

No one is saying you can't be proud of having your body return to pre-pregnancy glory. But women are allowed to stick up for themselves and not be made to feel bad about things they absolutely cannot change with diet and exercise. It is hardly fair to minimize the feelings of these women by labeling them Bitter Betties and sour women as if they have to sit there and be quiet when someone is telling them that all women can look like the OP does with simple perseverance. Women make themselves martyers for enough reasons as is--can't we all just agree that one size doesn't fit all and move on with our lives? All moms would be better served if we stop trying to shove them all into one common mold.

OP you look amazing!

Super incredible amazing!

Reading the first page of comments was a little surprising. I was expecting to read "Holy crap you look phenomenal!" but instead I saw people who just assume you're "lucky." Kind of discredits all the hard work that you've obviously put into your body. Anyways, I digress.

You're abs are rockin, and I'm going to get mine in the same shape as yours are. Pregnancy didn't ruin your body, and it sure as hell didn't ruin mine, either. :flowerforyou:

Nobody is saying she didn't work hard - I'm sure she did. But the implication was that everyone could do it if only they worked as hard as she did, and that somehow anyone who does have a less than perfect post-baby body only has themselves to blame because they didn't work hard enough. No amount of working hard will shift stretch marks on your belly and thighs or re-glue split muscles. I don't think my body is 'ruined' but it does affect what I can and can't wear and makes me supremely self concious when I go swimming. I certainly don't want to think that the fit women around me at the pool/ beach are thinking that I'm some kind of slob.

This thread should be locked.

but there are inches of deceased equine still unbeaten.

Hi, me too , stretch marks all over my belly after having 4 pregnancy's , loose skin come what ever I do , how slim i go there still there , I could crawl under a stone when we go on holiday and every one got there body's out, But Oh no not me all wrapped up boiling, trying to enjoy my self .

But do you know what the Hell , we should be proud that we have lovely kids and wouldn't be with out em ..............
So come on girls lets not be too hard on our self's .

Anyway, I'd just like to thank the OP for putting out that not everyone's body gets horribly damaged by pregnancy, and that excess weight shouldn't be blamed on only pregnancy. I do think we are accountable for our own health.

Says someone who has never shared her body with another human being.

Sorry, I'm bitter, this I know. But, again, for those of us that DID do what they could to keep their bodies fit, it's terribly offensive for someone to blame sloth and overindulgence for the damage done.

THAT is my problem with the original and continuous statements I keep reading.

Apparently pregnancy ruins more women's minds and sense of well-being than bodies. That's an ever more important lesson to remember when looking to have children. If I don't want to become nasty and bitter, don't have kids.

Say what you like. But until you have kids and realize you weren't one of the ones blessed with a snap back body which someone else condescends you for (by implying that if you don't look fabulous and toned post-baby that you've "let yourself go") keep your mouth shut.

The OP wasn't implying anything about you. She was saying getting pregnant, having a baby, etc., shouldn't be USED as an EXCUSE to let yourself go. Your insecurity is astounding. I'm sorry you are so unhappy with your body, but you can't really accuse someone of insulting you or insinuating things about you that just aren't there. It's ludicrous.

That is a rude statement though! You don't walk in other peoples shoes to know what they have lived through and why they may have those excess pounds or why they do not work on losing them. I have been through a lot since I was married, lived in poverty, had my child who was diagnosed as developmentally delayed, and was hospitalized and diagnosed as bipolar. Not everyone is like you or the op who were and are fairly thin. My sister had two babies and bounced back well. She did get a few stretchmarks. She had always been thin though and has a model like body. I have always had problems with my weight. Just because I have those problems does not mean I deserve to be attacked and seen as less than because I am overweight and gained a lot of that weight since I gave birth to my child. I am the same me even if I carry extra pounds. People who do use pregnancy and children as an excuse to gain weight usually learn pretty quickly not to do that. My cousin decided to eat whatever she wanted when she was pregnant and was very unhappy with her body after. She was always a few lbs away from a healthy weight though and ended up losing 15 lbs and getting to a healthy weight. She looks great even if she will never wear a bikini again because of her stretchmarks on her belly.

Some people battle with their weight and people who are naturally thin or only a few lbs overweight cannot understand what a struggle it is to get thin when you are prone to overeating and not being active enough.

I was almost 200lbs before I started losing weight. I wouldn't call that "fairly thin". Plus I gained almost 70lbs while I was pregnant with my son. It took a big toll on my body, and not just in the appearance. I lost sensation for over a year before it started coming back, so I do know what that is like too. I lost most of my pregnancy weight after I had my son, but gained it back gradually after I got married. Please don't assume I've always been this way, I worked my *kitten* off to lose the weight I lost, and even if it wasn't 100+ pounds it doesn't make my struggle any less than yours or the next person's. I battled with weight and eating disorders since I was a kid. Don't make assumptions about me, please. No one was or is attacking you, merely stating facts and experiences. The OP was just sharing her experience and hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Agreed. But, also, if people didn't focus so much on wording and took the gist of what she said instead. I know that's a lot to expect out of people in general, and I don't personally expect it. I think the OP expected too much out of people, though. Wording makes a big difference, for sure. It's just one of those things where something gets taken the wrong way and a mob of people runs with it. I think wars have probably been started on more than one occasion due to a misunderstanding... lol

hoping to give some people hope that they could work to get their bodies back - and no, not a perfect pre-pregnancy body necessarily, but stating that pregnancy doesn't HAVE to completely RUIN your body, because in MOST cases, it really doesn't have to. Too many women DO use it as an excuse, imo.

you're absolutely right. and if the OP had phrased things honestly and accurately, as you did, this whole drama would never have happened.

Agreed. But, also, if people didn't focus so much on wording and took the gist of what she said instead. I know that's a lot to expect out of people in general, and I don't personally expect it. I think the OP expected too much out of people, though. Wording makes a big difference, for sure. It's just one of those things where something gets taken the wrong way and a mob of people runs with it. I think wars have probably been started on more than one occasion due to a misunderstanding... lol

we communicate here entirely by words. i realise it's a lot to expect from people in general, but chosing your words carefully so that they express what you mean is a good idea. if you state that the sky is green then expecting everyone to agree with you that it's blue is foolish.

lol Yeah, I see your point. I guess I just figure it's similar to someone posting a success story and saying "If I Can Do It, So Can You!" I don't think in that scenario it would be appropriate, or called for, for people to get riled up as they have here. I know the situation is different, but in essence it is about the same. As much as I understand why women have gotten offended by the OP's post, I still think it's ridiculous for them to take it so personally - or to actually get offended. Most of what people are saying she has implied or "stated" even, just isn't there.

lol Yeah, I see your point. I guess I just figure it's similar to someone posting a success story and saying "If I Can Do It, So Can You!" I don't think in that scenario it would be appropriate, or called for, for people to get riled up as they have here. I know the situation is different, but in essence it is about the same. As much as I understand why women have gotten offended by the OP's post, I still think it's ridiculous for them to take it so personally - or to actually get offended. Most of what people are saying she has implied or "stated" even, just isn't there.

''I'm here to tell you that it doesn't ruin your body and you will bounce back quickly.''
the statement.
''...and it shouldn't be an excuse to let yourself go.''
the implication.

i dislike the statement for two reasons. 1, that it promises results in women who will not have her experience, and when women fail to measure up they may well feel like freaks and failures. i believe in telling people all the facts. it might go well, it might be a disaster, but i wish you luck either way. 2, that it completely ignores what can be devastating health and quality of life issues. is our measure of 'ruin' based entirely on weight? it plays into our vanity obsessed society and, as all too frequently happens, makes people with embarassing and upsetting problems feel even more like lone freaks.

I think it's a highly individual process. It's not good to be pessimistic and let oneself go, but it doesn't help to be overly optimistic either. You have to see what happens.

^^says it all.

You're right. Honestly, if everyone had the ability to phrase things the way you have and lay them out like that - maybe this thread wouldn't have gone so bad so fast. Based on only what the OP wrote, I guess it does sound kind of condescending and presumptuous. But, I personally tried to take from it what I thought she meant rather than the plain text. In a different frame of mind, I quite possibly could have been offended, too.

this will all be forgotten within a week.