Sick of hearing it

2456

Replies

  • RunnerDude2013
    RunnerDude2013 Posts: 56 Member
    I would have laughed my head off if I'd been there. BTW, were you wearing those shorts?

    It's actually a kilt and no I wasn't ;p
  • TavistockToad
    TavistockToad Posts: 35,719 Member
    Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Today was a good day for me. Family gathered around that I haven't seen in a while complimenting me on the fact that I look thinner and trimmer which is always nice to hear.

    So everyone's sitting around eating desserts. You know, cake, pie, peach cobbler, ice cream, and I'm behaving and having a banana. And then it happens, the one thing that really just pisses me off, an overweight family member points a fork at me with chocolate dripping off the end and says "it's so easy for men to lose weight".

    I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."

    After that things were a bit awkward but I am so sick of hearing it.. It's hard for anyone to lose weight. Don't belittle my success by writing it off because I'm a guy.

    Stepping off my soapbox now.

    great response! dont feel bad for being honest!!!
  • RunnerDude2013
    RunnerDude2013 Posts: 56 Member
    I am having quite a different problem. I have been fighting to lose weight for awhile now and it is coming off, but very slowly. Every time I see a certain skinny family member of mine she harrasses me about it, telling me that losing weight is so easy and I must not be trying. I wish I had the guts that you do, I want to tell her off so badly.

    It's hard to ignore them sometimes.. But you are putting forth an effort and are making progress so congratulations! I have so much respect for people like you who are working hard and trying to make a difference in your life rather than trying to bring everyone around you down to make yourself feel better.

    Good job! I'm sending a friend request. ;p
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."

    I like you! :drinker:
  • MudRunLvr
    MudRunLvr Posts: 226 Member
    Good on you! Losing weight is hard, man or woman. Some people are small inside and try to take away from what you're doing to make themselves feel better. Don't let them. You keep at it and be successful.
  • Kayla_292to165
    Kayla_292to165 Posts: 249 Member
    I wish I could be that honest! I have someone close to me in my family who is jealous about all the weight I've lost so far and I swear she tries to make every excuse she can come up with why she can't do it. She's a mama....has a part time job....she's too busy....she just can't lose the weight....but then she always has to put me down and tries to make me feel like crap. For example, when I did the BL contest at the gym, she went on and on about how another woman in the contest looked so great and had lost sooooo much weight....and never said I word about me....I wish I could tell her what I really think and put her in her place!

    Thought I'd add that I'm a mama of 3, and until recently had a part time job too!
  • RoseTears143
    RoseTears143 Posts: 1,121 Member
    Good for you for sticking up for yourself. It is hard for anyone to lose weight. And it takes a lot of commitment to eat right every day and exercise. I can imagine how frustrating it was to have someone say that while shoving their face with sweets. -_-

    Keep up the good work!!!
  • GdeVries
    GdeVries Posts: 232 Member
    Anoah, I love it.

    So many excuses....a healthy lifestyle is a lot of hard work. Good for you!
  • Ladyinwaiting4
    Ladyinwaiting4 Posts: 202 Member
    I likewise wish I could say what I think when people belittle me about my weight or make rude remarks as well. kudos to you for sticking up to yourself. I deal with a family member who is in starving mode I jumped off that train to begin to eat properly. whenever I eat she acts like I commited the ultimate sin like how dare you eat breakfast, a snack etc. but yet she will eat 1/2 piece of bread then at dinners out she will pile 4-5 plates filled with sweets, but harp on me for eating 1 mini cupcake. any advice on putting her in her place next time she does this.
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  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    Dude, as so many have said that was awesome!

    I'd be well upset if I was that lady but maybe it is the wake-up call she needs. There are only so many excuses and so many people use them.

    P.S. Love your strength just having a banana. I would have been at the cake I'm sure.
  • Afura
    Afura Posts: 2,054 Member
    AHAHAHAHA that's hilarious. They stepped into that hidden mine, not probably the same words I would have used, but I don't see anything wrong with that (esp if true).
  • carolyn0613
    carolyn0613 Posts: 162 Member
    I have it from all angles, certain skinny people ask why I'm having a piece of cake or eating a snack. Others int he overweight category say I'm skinny and fading away (I'm so not there and never will be, that's not my plan) I just say to them all. I've lost nearly 3 stone (40lb), I've got a stone to go. A chubby friend said to me in a lovely spirit of honesty, while tucking into a strawberry and double cream flan: "this is why I can't lose weight!"

    Are we special snowflakes that have the will power to do this? I don't think I am different although this time it does feel different - I feel like I can do this and keep doing this. I'm not waiting to come off my 'diet'. It's more that this is a slow and patient way of losing weight.
  • SmallMimi
    SmallMimi Posts: 541 Member
    Cheers to you, not many of us have the moxie to tell people what we really think! :drinker:
  • pickledginger
    pickledginger Posts: 172
    I've been thinking about this topic lately... not just regarding men, though. Although, I'm confident you hear this more than me (a woman). I'm really surprised by how it is "so MUCH more difficult" for others to lose weight. Seriously??? Everyone seems to have an excuse, a story, or some lame reason for why it's so much more difficult for them to lose weight in comparison to everyone else. I find it annoying as well. But then I realize... they're just jealous! Ha!
    Fact: Some people can lose weight more easily than others. Some people even have difficulty keeping weight on.
    Fact: On average, men can lose weight more easily than women. (Not that I know many average men or women!) And that's before considering, say, thyroid problems, which are less common in the male of the species.
    Fact: What people say may often be tactless, but that doesn't mean it's motivated by either jealousy or ill will.
    Personally, even when people are rude, even if it's intentional, I prefer the smothering them with kindness approach. Smile - it'll drive 'em crazy.
  • ms_leanne
    ms_leanne Posts: 523 Member
    I likewise wish I could say what I think when people belittle me about my weight or make rude remarks as well. kudos to you for sticking up to yourself. I deal with a family member who is in starving mode I jumped off that train to begin to eat properly. whenever I eat she acts like I commited the ultimate sin like how dare you eat breakfast, a snack etc. but yet she will eat 1/2 piece of bread then at dinners out she will pile 4-5 plates filled with sweets, but harp on me for eating 1 mini cupcake. any advice on putting her in her place next time she does this.

    Tell her she's diabetes waiting to happen!
  • coachblt
    coachblt Posts: 1,090
    Losing weight can be a difficult process for many, but what's even more difficult...getting into shape. Your response was clearly not thought out, but a reaction, and I rather like the reaction. Well done!
  • jsd_135
    jsd_135 Posts: 291 Member
    Cheers to you, not many of us have the moxie to tell people what we really think! :drinker:

    Yep, the world is definitely a kinder, better place when everyone speaks their unedited mind.
  • Maxieboy123
    Maxieboy123 Posts: 25
    There's all kinds of negativity when you are trying to lose, this is your war so fight it any way you need to.

    There was a time in my life when I thought "thin people don't have to work at it, they're born that way". I know now that very few people fit into this catagory This makes me less frustrated with my struggles.
  • wibbley74
    wibbley74 Posts: 80 Member
    how bloody insulting

    rise above it
  • rosiereally2
    rosiereally2 Posts: 539 Member
    Wow! You really said that?
  • Lifting_Knitter
    Lifting_Knitter Posts: 1,025 Member

    She huffed up and didn't speak to me the rest of the evening which was actually quite pleasant. Rest of the family was like whatever.....

    Sounds like my family. We always have at least one blowout during family get togethers so everyone else is like meh, and just goes about their business!

    Good for you. Some people need to be put in their place! :drinker:
  • dgrant2009
    dgrant2009 Posts: 3
    Go for you!
  • anniecrisis
    anniecrisis Posts: 20
    I have a male friend who weighs about the same as me: his daily calorie "allowance" for weight maintenance is higher than mine, because he'll have a greater proportion of muscle to fat, so basal metabolic rate is higher.

    However - if we go for a 10k run, I use more calories doing it than he does. HIs more muscular body, with narrower hips, is more efficient as a running machine than mine is.

    So - I'm not really sure that it follows that a male will find it easier to lose weight: he's able to consume more calories for a given starting weight than a woman of that weight would, and still keep steady, but he has to exercise harder if he wants to burn them.

    The reply given in the OP? I think the original statement made was stupid, and can only have been meant as a put-down, and must admit I'd certainly be thinking along those lines for a reply, but not sure I'd dare give it in that form. The woman in question may well be feeling insecure herself, but it doesn't excuse putting down others in order to feel better oneself.
  • sarakfra
    sarakfra Posts: 16 Member
    She must really be in a bad place to be so thoughtless. I think I'd approach it from that POV instead -- the thought that, 'man, she sure is suffering.' Remembering that typically helps me return stupidity/thoughtlessness with kindness and compassion. Typically. Not always. :)
  • harrelleg
    harrelleg Posts: 2 Member
    Sometimes you just have to say what is on your mind. Your family member probably didn't realize she was belittling your accomplishment, but I bet she knows now.
  • iecreamheadaches
    iecreamheadaches Posts: 441 Member
    Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Today was a good day for me. Family gathered around that I haven't seen in a while complimenting me on the fact that I look thinner and trimmer which is always nice to hear.

    So everyone's sitting around eating desserts. You know, cake, pie, peach cobbler, ice cream, and I'm behaving and having a banana. And then it happens, the one thing that really just pisses me off, an overweight family member points a fork at me with chocolate dripping off the end and says "it's so easy for men to lose weight".

    I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."

    After that things were a bit awkward but I am so sick of hearing it.. It's hard for anyone to lose weight. Don't belittle my success by writing it off because I'm a guy.

    Stepping off my soapbox now.

    you sir, win at life. I hate when people realize you're losing weight and try to bring you down with snarky comments like this. I would have told her off too.
  • MJH2
    MJH2 Posts: 55 Member
    Oh ****, yeah we've all been there. My common reply when people "complain" about my watching what I eat is...."It's a good thing I'm watching so you don't have to" :) Stay strong and steady in your plan, the best is yet to come!
  • tryinghard71
    tryinghard71 Posts: 593
    Sounds like there is a history of you trying to help and her blowing it off. I do think her comment was meant to belittle all your hard work and success. Yes, a lot of people thought your comment was mean but I know what it is like with family and always keeping your mouth shut and then one day it just comes out. Maybe it will cause her to look in the mirror and stop making excuses. I know it took a doctor getting very blunt with me about my weight gain to shake me up. It was what actually kicked my butt in gear to change. A year later at my Doctor visit and down 30 pounds I thanked her for being blunt and waking me up. Sometimes, sometimes that is what it takes. Even if that does not end up to be the case you still have the right to defend your hard work and success and hopefully it won't happen again.
  • glovepuppet
    glovepuppet Posts: 1,710 Member
    Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
    excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.
    as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.

    sheesh!

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