Sick of hearing it
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When we're losing weight, there are all kinds of negative, stupid, and thoughtless comments that go along with that. It is unfair for anyone to assume that it's easy for you to lose weight simply because of your gender. It's also not right for anyone to belittle your accomplishments. However, the person who said this to you has probably tried and failed to lose weight many times. Maybe she doesn't know the right way to go about it, maybe she hasn't stuck to it, maybe she got lazy. Who knows, but her comment likely came from a place of feeling like it is hopeless for her to achieve what you have achieved. You could have used the moment to be compassionate, educate her and give her the hope that it was possible for her lose the weight too. Instead, you were even more negative and even more belittling than she was.0
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You didn't?:embarassed:"I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."0 -
I found out people are just rude.& yes it's hard on anyone to lose weight if your men or women .like ya said put the fork down & workout ..lol0
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Maybe it will cause her to look in the mirror and stop making excuses. I know it took a doctor getting very blunt with me about my weight gain to shake me up. It was what actually kicked my butt in gear to change. A year later at my Doctor visit and down 30 pounds I thanked her for being blunt and waking me up. Sometimes, sometimes that is what it takes. Even if that does not end up to be the case you still have the right to defend your hard work and success and hopefully it won't happen again.
Did your doctor's bluntness include telling you to get off your "lazy fat *kitten*"?
And really, a grown man has to "defend himself," by name calling no less, against a few words that are, at worst, a bit thoughtless? I mean, honestly. The "men lose weight so easily" meme is such a cliche, I'm surprised he took it so personally. Talk about special snowflakes.0 -
Good for you. So sick of ridiculous, gendered stereotypes period.0
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excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.0 -
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?0 -
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
It's rude. One thing that a man should never do is comment on a WOMAN'S (happy?) weight. How would you like it if a family member of yours maliciously told you to get off your fat, lazy *kitten*? I guarantee you'd be over in the motivation and support section making a thread about it almost instantaneously.0 -
Hope everyone had a good Mother's Day. Today was a good day for me. Family gathered around that I haven't seen in a while complimenting me on the fact that I look thinner and trimmer which is always nice to hear.
So everyone's sitting around eating desserts. You know, cake, pie, peach cobbler, ice cream, and I'm behaving and having a banana. And then it happens, the one thing that really just pisses me off, an overweight family member points a fork at me with chocolate dripping off the end and says "it's so easy for men to lose weight".
I almost let it go, I was sooooo close! Rather than telling her it was not easy for me and that I work out everyday from 30 minutes to an hour plus and that I watch and log everything that I eat. But no I had to look at her and say something like "I guess you consider exercise getting up to get seconds on desert and using that fork to shove it in your face. If you'd get off your lazy fat *kitten*, quit *****ing about it, and put forth a little effort you might lose a little weight."
After that things were a bit awkward but I am so sick of hearing it.. It's hard for anyone to lose weight. Don't belittle my success by writing it off because I'm a guy.
Stepping off my soapbox now.
GOOD ON YA!
Although I believe in being kind, sometimes it's the harsh words that wake us up. Last time I lost weight I was told constantly how great I looked and all that positive stuff. then, as I started gaining back, do you think I heard even once "Geez, you've put on a few pounds. better be careful before you gain it all back!" well, here I am...right back at 170lbs where I was 5 years ago before I lost 40 lbs. would that shock to the psyche have helped. I don't know. Would my feelings have been hurt? hell ya! but....it MAY have been a wake up call.
That being said...well done for standing up for yourself. :happy: :glasses:0 -
she commented on his.
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
It's rude. One thing that a man should never do is comment on a WOMAN'S (happy?) weight. How would you like it if a family member of yours maliciously told you to get off your fat, lazy *kitten*? I guarantee you'd be over in the motivation and support section making a thread about it almost instantaneously.
my *kitten* is skinny, so it's pretty unlikely. but if one of them was making snippy comments about my diet & weight i would feel justified in pointing out their own faults. even, EVEN if that person happened to have breasts.
if i randomly pointed my fork & made a snotty comment about anyone else's efforts, i would absolutely deserve a response like that!0 -
Yes it is easier for men to lose weight they have more initial muscle mass. Does that mean that women can't no. Does that mean that anyone should belittle all the hard work absolutely not! Good for you just having a banana in the presence of sugar and fat laden desserts!!!!!
I don't care if your are a man or a woman this is a hard journey we are on. keep it up you are doing great!!!!0 -
i guess i'm one of the few people who think that was just a tad bit harsh. actually, harsh isn't the right word for it. i don't mind harsh and direct (or even better, harsh but subtle).
but i think i'd have come at it from the opposite angle.
"Yea, losing weight is pretty easy for men. I mean, all I had to do is completely alter my diet, cut out many of my favorite foods, start weighing absolutely everything I eat, stop eating out, learn to avoid most deserts, start lifting, and start exercising over an hour a day 5 days a week. See? Easy. And all because I'm male. How's that cake?"
But really, I don't dislike how you did it - at least she got the blunt end, because i do think people that say stuff like that deserve something to think about.0 -
You sir... ROCK! Can we be friends?0
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I spend most of my life avoiding confrontations, hurt feelings, or any sort of conflicts as I can. I bet most folks are like me. It's a lot harder sometimes to NOT say something then it is TO say something. It requires a great deal of self control to not lash out. However, with that being said, some people just have it coming to them. Some people out there are just so obnoxious that you just gotta. The woman may continue in her big mouth ways, but I bet she'll think twice about before doing so again with the OP.
P.S. The OP also said that the rest of the family, afterwards, acted like "whatever". I think that if the OP was completely out of line, that at least one person may have said something? I could be very wrong about that, but it leads me to believe that she had it coming to her.0 -
Wow. Quite frankly your response to this family member was purposely cruel and unnecessarily mean. And the people praising you for it.....this post just brought out the ugly in people. There was a nicer way to communicate to this person how hard you've worked to achieve your goals without belittling her. For shame!0
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she commented on his.
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
It's rude. One thing that a man should never do is comment on a WOMAN'S (happy?) weight. How would you like it if a family member of yours maliciously told you to get off your fat, lazy *kitten*? I guarantee you'd be over in the motivation and support section making a thread about it almost instantaneously.
my *kitten* is skinny, so it's pretty unlikely. but if one of them was making snippy comments about my diet & weight i would feel justified in pointing out their own faults. even, EVEN if that person happened to have breasts.
if i randomly pointed my fork & made a snotty comment about anyone else's efforts, i would absolutely deserve a response like that!
In what way was her comment snotty? The part about how it's easier for men to lose weight? Well, truthfully, it is (see: more muscle mass and testosterone). We cut back a little on portions, do a little exercise...bada boom, bada bing; quicker weight loss. I just don't see how pointing out the obvious warranted that type of response from the OP.0 -
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
Female / Male are scientific definitions not derogatory. His attempt at being respectful toward women was attacked. It's like the girl who yells at a man for opening the door for her "i can do it myself". Immediately thinking of a "dog" as female might reflect more on your own interpretation of the word female rather than the scientific one.
I agree- it was a bit harsh for a man to get in a woman's face about her weight. What she said was rude, but she wasn't saying it to belittle his work (even though it did, and that sucks) She was likely just finding a way to give an excuse to herself because she isn't ready to take responsibility for her own weight. She was mindless and rude, but we are all guilty of saying stupid **** at one point or another in our lives.0 -
making light of his hard woek, whist he's eating a banana at chocolate cake time? i can't imagine how that would offend.
she commented on his.
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
It's rude. One thing that a man should never do is comment on a WOMAN'S (happy?) weight. How would you like it if a family member of yours maliciously told you to get off your fat, lazy *kitten*? I guarantee you'd be over in the motivation and support section making a thread about it almost instantaneously.
my *kitten* is skinny, so it's pretty unlikely. but if one of them was making snippy comments about my diet & weight i would feel justified in pointing out their own faults. even, EVEN if that person happened to have breasts.
if i randomly pointed my fork & made a snotty comment about anyone else's efforts, i would absolutely deserve a response like that!
In what way was her comment snotty? The part about how it's easier for men to lose weight? Well, truthfully, it is (see: more muscle mass and testosterone). We cut back a little on portions, do a little exercise...bada boom, bada bing; quicker weight loss. I just don't see how pointing out the obvious warranted that type of response from the OP.
you seem to be avoiding the question. why does her gender make his response worse? would it be less rude if he's said it to a man?0 -
she commented on his.
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
It's rude. One thing that a man should never do is comment on a WOMAN'S (happy?) weight. How would you like it if a family member of yours maliciously told you to get off your fat, lazy *kitten*? I guarantee you'd be over in the motivation and support section making a thread about it almost instantaneously.
my *kitten* is skinny, so it's pretty unlikely. but if one of them was making snippy comments about my diet & weight i would feel justified in pointing out their own faults. even, EVEN if that person happened to have breasts.
if i randomly pointed my fork & made a snotty comment about anyone else's efforts, i would absolutely deserve a response like that!
In what way was her comment snotty? The part about how it's easier for men to lose weight? Well, truthfully, it is (see: more muscle mass and testosterone). We cut back a little on portions, do a little exercise...bada boom, bada bing; quicker weight loss. I just don't see how pointing out the obvious warranted that type of response from the OP.
Well, you don't know their history. You don't know the "tone" in which it was spoke. It's pretty unrealistic for you to "read" it in your mind and decide that it was/wasn't "snotty".
I wouldn't have gone to that extreme myself...I would have said something like "Keep eating that cake and I'm sure you'll make it easier on yourself". But he's within his right to say whatever he wants to someone he knows.0 -
they are derogatory in context. this new fad for refering to women as 'females' has nothing to do with respect. i've yet to see anyone refer to men as 'males'. in this manner.
a female could refer to a dog! we're women. or ladies, if you feel that way. girls if you want to patronise.
excuse me? last time i looked, having breasts didn't stop me being responsible for my own words.Wow, kind of harsh to rag on a female like that. I understand the frustration, but it could have been said in a more gentle yet effective way. If you speak to a Family member like this, I'd hate to see what kinds of things you say to your friends.
as a WOMAN (that's the polite & respectful word for 'females', which acknowledges that i'm human as well as ovary ridden) i would rather be spoken to the way he spoke to her than the way you spoke about her.
sheesh!
The way I spoke of her? You mean, referring to her as a female? You know...something that she is, biologically speaking....? Wow.
and what does her gender have to do with the way he spoke to her? you've yet to clarify that one. do we faint if we hear curse words?
Female / Male are scientific definitions not derogatory. His attempt at being respectful toward women was attacked. It's like the girl who yells at a man for opening the door for her "i can do it myself". Immediately thinking of a "dog" as female might reflect more on your own interpretation of the word female rather than the scientific one.
I agree- it was a bit harsh for a man to get in a woman's face about her weight. What she said was rude, but she wasn't saying it to belittle his work (even though it did, and that sucks) She was likely just finding a way to give an excuse to herself because she isn't ready to take responsibility for her own weight. She was mindless and rude, but we are all guilty of saying stupid **** at one point or another in our lives.
opening doors is something people should do regardless of gender. as should thanking people.
rude is rude, regardless of gender.0
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