Sick of hearing it

Wow. Quite frankly your response to this family member was purposely cruel and unnecessarily mean. And the people praising you for it.....this post just brought out the ugly in people. There was a nicer way to communicate to this person how hard you've worked to achieve your goals without belittling her. For shame!

Agreed. The OP could have just said something like "hey, it's really upsetting to me when you say something like that because it makes me feel like you're disregarding all of the hard work I've done to lose this weight." Instead he lashed out at her. It's not a surprising reaction since we all get to that frustrated place sometimes, but it is surprising to see so many people commending him for it.

Agree!! There isnt an excuse for being hurtful back....all thats doing is putting you on the same level as they are...so you were just as bad as she was with your response...theres always a more civil way to do things that does not require you belittling yourself to belittle others!

I'm with you guys.

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Am I the only person who thinks losing weight is a different process for men and women?

Obviously losing weight is hard for everyone. Of that, there is no doubt. But men have more muscle mass, which burns more calories. And women trying to lose weight after menpause really struggle. Just as we have finally learned that things like heart attacks show up differently in men's and women's bodies, it is possible we will learn that men and women need to address weight loss differently.

The woman in question may well have been using this as an excuse rather than taking it as notice to really buckle down and work even harder. But still, it's different, imo.

whoah.... angry dude should have had some chocolate :devil:

Right, there is no harm in having a small piece of cake on a Holiday, might help release some of that tension.

And I am definitely sensing some tension here :huh:

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?

When did you get to be the moral authority on telling people how they should react or feel to different situations, despite your chastising other people for doing the exact same thing? How's the view in that glass house?

:drinker: good for you! some people really need to be put in their place.

Just saw this quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

Many here seem to have a lot of love and compassion for their own feelings and sensibilities. Not so much others', though.

^ Kettle calling the cauldron black.

whoah.... angry dude should have had some chocolate :devil:

Right, there is no harm in having a small piece of cake on a Holiday, might help release some of that tension.

I had two yesterday....the humanity.

:drinker: good for you! some people really need to be put in their place.

Just saw this quote from the Dalai Lama:

“Love and compassion are necessities, not luxuries. Without them, humanity cannot survive.”

Many here seem to have a lot of love and compassion for their own feelings and sensibilities. Not so much others', though.

^ Kettle calling the cauldron black.

You know what. You're right. My comments to the woman above (regarding post baby weight loss) were neither loving nor compassionate. My apologies to her and thanks to you for pointing this out.

I stand by the Dalai Lama's sentiment, and I do hope that people are actually kinder in real life than they sometimes appear online (I include myself here).

While everyone seems to be focusing on what this dude said, I think it is commendable to point out the fact that he resisted dessert, which is, usually, many of our own weaknesses. To even describe the chocolate cake without scarfing down a bite after his overweight relative's comment is proof of this guy's success.

Now, I think she was trying, as many have said, to assuage her own guilt for being unable to control her eating. Perhaps she has dieted unsuccessfully, and when seeing her relative get accolades for HIS success, she probably felt jealous. That SHE should be getting that kind of success, but she can't because she is a woman ("it is so easy for MEN to lose weight"). This is just a poor excuse for lack of effort. It's not all genes, and it's not all environment. But your action WITHIN the environment brings out the success your genes were meant to display.

There is also a lot of talk about what should have been said. Suppose the original poster read this. What would he do with this newfound script of opinions? I'm pretty sure he knew he shouldn't have said that, and I think many of us have found ourselves in a situation where our own restraint loses to impulsive distractions (when was the last time you accidentally had desert or an extra beer/glass of wine/shot? Or skipped an exercise because you just didn't feel like it?). There is a better way to handle everything, plain and simple. So while it's nice to talk about what someone else should have done better, I wonder what your mouth lets fly in reality, even if you're not aware?

Pretty much! Thanks for your input.

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?

Wait a second... Were you not the one giving the OP such a hard time for being rude to a female? Now you are being rude to a female? Kettle, meet pot...

I keep getting told that I'm "Lucky to have just bounced back after having a kid" when infact I haven't just bounced back... I've work very hard and it upsets me too when people think I'm just lucky.... I understand sometimes letting loose on people who belittle your hard work, good job sticking up for yourself though!

Really? You get "upset"? Because people have a different take on things or make routine (and not very interesting) observations about weigh loss? So if someone doesn't say the approved words about your accomplishment, you have the moral standing to "let loose" on them? Cheez, when did we all become such umbrage-taking delicate flowers?

Wait a second... Were you not the one giving the OP such a hard time for being rude to a female? Now you are being rude to a female? Kettle, meet pot...

I think you have me mixed up with someone else. I haven't said anything about male/female in this thread. The person I responded to happened to be woman, but her status as a "female" was immaterial. My comments apply to anyone (including the OP) who feels justified in letting loose on another person for (what I think are) fairly innocuous comments. And anyway, I apologized up thread for the tone of the post you've quoted.

ETA: I also happen to be a woman myself.

Okay, yes men work to lose weight just like woman, but lets really talk about the facts. Every body is different. My husband and I started this journey together January 6th 2013. I started at 305.8 and my husband started at 220. I overhauled my diet completely. I cut out all soda, junk food, processed food and so on. I started walking for an hour a day minimum,taking Zumba, and doing as much of Insanity as I could with my husband. He did Insanity, and cut back on soda. He still eats Big Macs, donuts, and so on. I do not. He lost 40 pounds and I lost 47... all in the same time frame. I work out at least 6 days a week, for at least an hour if not longer. He did Insanity 6 days a week. ( roughly an hour) I lose a week every month when that special time comes to be a woman. My husband has no weeks where his body refuses to lose weight and he gains water weight like a beast.

So yes,some woman have it rougher than men. Some men have it rougher than women. In my case, my husband has it easier than I do. He eats 1000 calories more than I do a day, works out less, and looses weight every week. I work out more, eat significantly less, (but within what my doctor wants) and do not lose every week.

It is incredibly frustrating to watch him drop weight every week, and me not. It is frustrating to see him sitting on the couch eating a donut and still lose weight. That is his body and not mine though. I know I will work harder to reach my goal than my husband has had to. I just count myself lucky that my husband supports my efforts. He walks with me, takes the kids swimming so I can take Zumba, and now eats junk food out of the house or where I cannot see him.

There are always going to be people, especially those who are overweight themselves, who are going to downplay your hard work. At the end of the day, who cares? In fact, the more that happens, the more successful you should feel. Obviously they have issues themselves, and that's where it's coming from. Hopefully, you are doing this for you, for your own health and self-image. So, if someone doesn't give you any credit, just tell yourself, I don't care about them anyways and then smile because you know how hard you have worked to get there.

In the office I work in there are several women who have been making better choices and are showing great progress, but there is one woman who keeps asking what their secret is and then shaking her head like "no, I couldn't possibly walk a little more each day." Then this woman will bring in a bunch of cupcakes and stuff knowing that no one really wants them. We finally sat down and told her that if she wants to eat cupcakes that's fine, but most of the rest of us are not going to eat them, so it's kind of wasteful.

She keeps asking? Or she asked once, or each person maybe once? If she 'keeps asking', then when I would hope that you would recommend to her to get a cat scan or something since she seems to have memory problems.

She has asked nearly every person who is making the changes and showing results what they are doing. One girl has lost over 60 lbs and she has asked about her diet, does she eat the same thing everyday, does she exercise, what kind of exercise, does her husband exercise with her and on and on. Then she makes a comment about why that wouldn't work for her. It's strange and annoying.