boyfriend trouble. help a girl out?

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  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
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    No he does not have to tell you when he thinks another woman is "hot". It is disrespectful, and in my opinion, a way to slowly diminish your self esteem. If you love him and he loves you, ask him why he feels the need to tell you these things.

    If the answer seems genuine to you, stick with it. If the answer is "what is your problem, are your jealous, insecure, etc?" that tells you what he is about. At that point it's your choice to stay with him.

    Remember though, you cannot complain about what you permit. Respect each other and be happy or decide not to block your blessings and move him aside for a man who will talk about how hot you are.
  • GormanGhaste
    GormanGhaste Posts: 430 Member
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    you can do better
  • Twisted_sista
    Twisted_sista Posts: 127 Member
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    If it is making you uncomfortable (I would be uncomfortable too!) then I think it is ok to say something, tell him how it is making you uncomfortable.

    Good luck :-)
  • thesupremeforce
    thesupremeforce Posts: 1,206 Member
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    I side with the torch-wielding majority on this issue. The douchecanoe/asshat is either trying to make you jealous in order to see how you respond in order to inflate his ego, or he's conditioning you to go along with his behavior. Regardless, he isn't showing any respect, and there's no reason for you to stand for it.
  • basillowe66
    basillowe66 Posts: 432 Member
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    For a girl as hot as you seem to be, dump him ! you only have 8 months invested but you learned a valuable lesson. If they are interested in someone else as he seems to be, let him know you don't need him. And you DON'T need him!! You have your self respect and pride !!


    Basil

    Hopefully you will befriend me
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
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    Can't help you out much.

    My boyfriend and I tell each other when we think a girl is hot.
  • vmclach
    vmclach Posts: 670 Member
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    so I'm confused... Why are you with him? I saw nothing positive on this post at all. You didn't even say you love him. Move on hunny. It is SO not worth your time.
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    :drinker:
  • Lisa1971
    Lisa1971 Posts: 3,069 Member
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    Can't help you out much.

    My boyfriend and I tell each other when we think a girl is hot.

    What if it's a hot guy?
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    So I've been going out with this guy for nearly 8 months now and I really, really like him and he apparently loves me back which is great but in conversation he'll constantly bring up other women.
    I know that sounds lame but hear me out.
    Now I'm not a particularly jealous girlfriend, but he really pushes it. When he mentions a friend, it has to be "my really hot friend" or "this girl who I can't believe doesn't think she's pretty" or "she's pretty much the fittest girl here". He's already admitted to flirting with other girls but justifies it as being ok because "it's only a joke". He also told me about how he dream cheated on me "once with two girls at once lol".
    Because it's little things I can never call him out on it. Like two weeks ago I get a text from him saying that he'd stayed round his (girl) mate's house with her best friend (also a girl) overnight, and bragged to me about it!

    I know I sound insecure, but it's really ****ing getting me down. I know I can't police his opinions but does he really have to tell me every time when he thinks a girl is hot? Or that she has great tits? Jesus.


    PM'd
  • nikilis
    nikilis Posts: 2,305 Member
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    Now I'm not a particularly jealous girlfriend, but he really pushes it. When he mentions a friend, it has to be "my really hot friend" or "this girl who I can't believe doesn't think she's pretty" or "she's pretty much the fittest girl here". He's already admitted to flirting with other girls but justifies it as being ok because "it's only a joke". He also told me about how he dream cheated on me "once with two girls at once lol".

    It's called grooming behavior. He is trying to get you in bed with other women. He is trying to both set the stage and illicit a response from you to open that door.

    Move on.

    ohh *kitten* he did bring it up twice.
  • LetsTryThisAgain54
    LetsTryThisAgain54 Posts: 381 Member
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    Drop the douche fast, very fast! He is purposely trying to get you jealous. Sorry, but he sounds like a big A-HOLE!
  • viser_haut
    viser_haut Posts: 97 Member
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    what an asshat. you can do better. :)
  • knightreader
    knightreader Posts: 813 Member
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    Now I'm not a particularly jealous girlfriend, but he really pushes it. When he mentions a friend, it has to be "my really hot friend" or "this girl who I can't believe doesn't think she's pretty" or "she's pretty much the fittest girl here". He's already admitted to flirting with other girls but justifies it as being ok because "it's only a joke". He also told me about how he dream cheated on me "once with two girls at once lol".

    It's called grooming behavior. He is trying to get you in bed with other women. He is trying to both set the stage and illicit a response from you to open that door.

    Move on.

    my thoughts exactly. he's seeing how willing you are to play around and make it more of a team sport!
  • mockchoc
    mockchoc Posts: 6,573 Member
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    My guy would never do that and never has in the 30+ years we've been together but then he thinks I am the hottest woman and tells me so.
  • RCottonRPh
    RCottonRPh Posts: 148
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    He sounds like a narcissist. Does he ever tell you how pretty YOU are? That's where his focus should be!
  • MaryJane_8810002
    MaryJane_8810002 Posts: 2,082 Member
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    He is just looking for a third teammate and wants to see if you are game.

    Honestly this guy just a disrespectful loser. And as hot as you are you you should chalk the 8 months as a loss and find a dude that would drink your bathwater. ( Not literally that is gross...unless you are into that :ohwell: )
  • gonnamakeanewaccount
    gonnamakeanewaccount Posts: 642 Member
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    Can't help you out much.

    My boyfriend and I tell each other when we think a girl is hot.

    What if it's a hot guy?

    Then I'll say so. We're very open with each other.
  • LonLB
    LonLB Posts: 1,126 Member
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    Maybe he is testing you and trying to bait you to say something. He might WANT you to care.

    ****ing games people play. SIGH
  • Amy0305
    Amy0305 Posts: 26
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    In my personal opinion.. I would leave him.
    He obviously doesn't see what a catch you are...
    I don't know you personally or him.. but judging by your profile pics
    and the fact that you have ask for other peoples opinions.. You seem
    like a very pretty and intelligent lady.. I think you could do much better than him.
    If he can't see that it bothers you or that you are fond of him saying things like that..
    then maybe he needs a reality check.

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