boyfriend trouble. help a girl out?

135

Replies

  • skinnyinnotime
    skinnyinnotime Posts: 4,078 Member
    Sounds like he's trying to provoke a reaction from you.

    Whatever.

    Really not worth the bother.
  • MSeel1984
    MSeel1984 Posts: 2,297 Member
    He sounds like kind of a douche.
  • EBFNP
    EBFNP Posts: 529 Member
    This guy is a 100% insecure somatic narcissist. Look up narcissistic personality disorder. He is mentioning other women to make YOU insecure . He is hoping you like him enough to try to chase him and maybe even participate in acting out his fantasies. Its a form of manipulation, and you need to walk away now because regardless he's going to cheat on you. As someone who recently dated a narcissist with pathological traits, I can say from experience they never change. It will only get worse if you let it! You can inbox me if you want to talk more.
  • jimmmer
    jimmmer Posts: 3,515 Member
    Stop looking for relationship advice on a fitness site?

    If you know it doesn't feel right, then it's not right, start learning to listen to yourself and make your own decisions. That's called being a mature grown-up. Random strangers opinions on the internet are irrelevant (yes I'm aware of the irony that I'm a random stranger on the internet.......).
  • myofibril
    myofibril Posts: 4,500 Member
    A loving partner will help raise your self esteem, support you in your goals and make you feel loved and cherished.

    A disrespectful partner will not.

    Choose which one you want.

    I really have no idea why some women put up with this "50 Shades of Grey" nonsense...
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.


    "douchecanoe" I love that!!! Might have to use that one.. :laugh:
  • K_Serz
    K_Serz Posts: 1,299 Member
    FYI

    If you dont like that about him. Its not going to change. If its a deal breaker for you, might as well move on now. Even if he pretends to change thats all it probably will be is some fake pretending just to stay with you. Sorry if thats not what you wanted to hear, but in most cases thats usually how it is. If he is truly going to change its usually due to some life changing event, such as you kicking him to the curb.
  • Kestrel45
    Kestrel45 Posts: 133
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    AHA! You said it, girl! I think you should dump his *kitten*, you deserve much better.
  • iecreamheadaches
    iecreamheadaches Posts: 441 Member
    My boyfriend makes stupid comments about girls every once in a while. He does it to intentionally see me get jealous, and never actually means anything by it surprisingly. He just thinks its cute that i get so jealous and overprotective.He does it less and less these days, but still every once in a blue moon. We'll be celebrating 2 years on the 23rd. <3


    This is not to say that you're doucher of boyfriend is the same, because my boyfriend would never stay over at some girls house or brag about it, or dream he cheated on me with 2 girls. Thats just wack, and sounds like its not worth the time. You can tell when its just them trying to make you jealous on purpose like my guy does.
  • AmberLee2012
    AmberLee2012 Posts: 540
    As long as you are with him, you will probably always have a little bit of that worry in the back of your mind about what he's going to say or do next. He doesn't respect you. If he did, he wouldn't be trying to make you jealous all the time. If you were doing what he is, I bet he would freak right out. I don't think there is anything you can do to change his behavior either. If you give him an ultimatum he might change for a week or two, maybe even a month, but eventually he will revert back. I think it's time to move on so you can open yourself up to meeting a guy who will respect you.
  • Kayla_292to165
    Kayla_292to165 Posts: 249 Member
    Castiel would never put up with such treatment. Nor would a Winchester Bro. He's either super insecure or he likes making you insecure, either way it's gross, annoying, and not a trait of someone you want to date.

    Can't go wrong when following the Winchesters..or Cas :)
  • Kat5343
    Kat5343 Posts: 451 Member
    This guy is a 100% insecure somatic narcissist. Look up narcissistic personality disorder. He is mentioning other women to make YOU insecure . He is hoping you like him enough to try to chase him and maybe even participate in acting out his fantasies. Its a form of manipulation, and you need to walk away now because regardless he's going to cheat on you. As someone who recently dated a narcissist with pathological traits, I can say from experience they never change. It will only get worse if you let it! You can inbox me if you want to talk more.


    This is great advice. I too was in a relationship with someone who was so insecure about himself that he constantly tried to bring me down and had me at my lowest self-esteem EVER. I finally made the decision to move on, and I was married to the guy. This was part of the reason I gained my weight. I searched for solace in food. I am sure you are aware that a unhealthy relationship like this will only hinder your weight loss success.
  • StrongerKelly
    StrongerKelly Posts: 13 Member
    Disrespectul. He should be telling other girls how hot his girlfriend is. Not the other way around.

    Next.
  • rob1976
    rob1976 Posts: 1,328 Member
    Some guys flirt as part of their personality. They'd never cheat, but being flirtatious with the other sex is just how they are. I am one of them.

    If you can't let it roll off your back, move on.
  • Yardtigress
    Yardtigress Posts: 367 Member
    When the guys tell you he's not worth it, listen. He seems to want to drag you down and build himself up. Find someone who wants you not some HOT girl who wouldn't look at him once let alone twice.
  • Candi_land
    Candi_land Posts: 1,311 Member
    Your boyfriend is an immature d1ck douche hoping to score a threesome. :flowerforyou:
  • liftingheavy
    liftingheavy Posts: 551 Member
    Stop looking for relationship advice on a fitness site?

    If you know it doesn't feel right, then it's not right, start learning to listen to yourself and make your own decisions. That's called being a mature grown-up. Random strangers opinions on the internet are irrelevant (yes I'm aware of the irony that I'm a random stranger on the internet.......).

    Okay? At least you are honest.
  • Cameron_1969
    Cameron_1969 Posts: 2,855 Member
    Stop looking for relationship advice on a fitness site?

    If you know it doesn't feel right, then it's not right, start learning to listen to yourself and make your own decisions. That's called being a mature grown-up. Random strangers opinions on the internet are irrelevant (yes I'm aware of the irony that I'm a random stranger on the internet.......).

    hahaha. .First you berate her for seeking advice from you. .then you proceed to offer her said advice, with the caveat that she should ignore you because you are irrelevant!. .. . good stuff.
  • ShreddedTweet
    ShreddedTweet Posts: 1,326 Member
    Aw here, if it were me I'd be gonzo. That guy's really immature. It's great to have friends of both sexes but it's just as great to have a bit of respect and consideration for the person you're dating.
  • AlbaAngel25
    AlbaAngel25 Posts: 484 Member
    ditch him! If you already are upset/worried/pissed off etc... 8 months, I don't think it'll get any more comfortable for you. And my guesstimation is he'll continue to get more "open" and say some really pissy things !
  • crista_b
    crista_b Posts: 1,192 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.
    I'm stealing your word. :laugh:
    My list of insults now includes (in addition to the expected ones): douchecanoe, twatwaffle, and c.untmuffin. Thank you, MFP. You've taught me so much.
  • maillemaker
    maillemaker Posts: 1,253 Member
    Man, so many people are ready to unleash the nuclear option based on such a tiny picture of the situation.

    Look, I agree with the other here that say that constantly mentioning the appearance of other women is disrespectful. We can't really tell if he's just mentioning this off-hand or if there is some subtle comparison going on where he is sending messages about what he thinks about other women compared to you.

    Does he ever comment on how he thinks you look?

    Anyway, the answer to this is simple:

    The next time he makes comments about the appearance of other women, just say this: "Hey, it really makes me uncomfortable when you talk about what other women look like." And see what he says. Either he starts giving you some respect and keeps his mouth shut or he doesn't.

    All men check out other women. I've been married 11 years, and I'm always checking out other women. But I'm sensitive to my wife's feelings so I keep my observations to myself. On rare occasion we'll watch a movie and I'll say, "I'm going to marry Jane Seymore" and she will say, "OK, I'm going to marry Sean Connery!", but it's all in good fun.

    That is, until Jane's divorce becomes final... ;)
  • missymoo2
    missymoo2 Posts: 10
    It sounds to melike your boyfriend is either very insecure in who he is, or he is just not ready to be a boyfriend at all. No can decide what you should do but you. If you can tolerate the ridiculous comments and still think he is a decent person to be with, that is your call, but I would question if he is ready for a serious relationship now, if ever.
  • conniemaxwell5
    conniemaxwell5 Posts: 943 Member
    He's playing mind games with you and it is not ok. If he was truly in love with you he wouldn't be mentioning other women or "dream cheating" on you. If he's dreaming about it, there's a good chance he'll do it. You deserve better. Stand up for yourself and demand it. If you don't get it, move on.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    Well, I see that you're 22, is he young as well? The other thing I am wondering about is are you the kind of girl who is "just one of the guys?" I was like this when I was younger (still sort of am) so guys feel like that stuff won't bother me. My husband doesn't do it, but I definitely had boyfriends who did. I didn't suspect any of them of cheating because of those comments. If you really like him maybe you could just casually talk about how it bugs you a bit and though you appreciate the good looks of someone else just as much as the next person he can keep those thoughts to himself when you're around.
  • MB_Positif
    MB_Positif Posts: 8,897 Member
    He's playing mind games with you and it is not ok. If he was truly in love with you he wouldn't be mentioning other women or "dream cheating" on you. If he's dreaming about it, there's a good chance he'll do it. You deserve better. Stand up for yourself and demand it. If you don't get it, move on.

    He might just be insecure and trying to get a rise out of her to see that she really is into him.
  • HappyNinjaStar
    HappyNinjaStar Posts: 353 Member
    Run away, now, and as fast as you can.

    Ex husband would make 'jokes' once in a while like that. I didn't think too much of it. It got worse and worse after we were married. At one point he told me that both of my best friends were 'wayyyyy hotter' than I was. One of the many reason's he is my 'ex'.

    Some years later he married one of those 'best friends'. That tells me that he really wanted something besides me and that was his not so subtle way of telling me that.

    I've been with my current husband for 6 years. Not once has he ever said anything about how hot another woman is in front of me. He constantly tells me I'm the most beautiful woman he's ever seen. That's what a relationship should be.
  • charovnitza
    charovnitza Posts: 689
    Is this boyfriend 12 years old? Or does he just act that way? Either way, he's definitely not mature, and not ready for a genuine relationship. Don't waste your time on manipulators, who coerce you to do things you don't want to. Look for a guy who wants the best for you, and is the best for you. The one you've got now is a loser.
  • MizTerry
    MizTerry Posts: 3,763 Member
    Honey, you are a friend..a buddy...you are his friend with benefits.

    Move on.
  • Julzanne72
    Julzanne72 Posts: 468 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    Love this!! Douchecanoe!! Never heard before, but must start using it!! And I agree, seriously, 8 months, get out now before you are so invested it's too hard. He sounds like a big doucher!

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