boyfriend trouble. help a girl out?

124

Replies

  • ahviendha
    ahviendha Posts: 1,291 Member
    i couldn't deal with that sort of behavior. however my really good friend, her BF is like that. he regularly uses pics of him with other girls in his profile pictures. but she's okay with it. i think because she likes to flirt too.
  • tomomatic
    tomomatic Posts: 1,794 Member
    images?q=tbn:ANd9GcQvABlvia5HL2F_m7RhgOos7zxlfhEaCr6HggIVXKxgyR6T-I498w

    Run away. Find someone that treats you with respect and gives a damn about how you feel.
  • Espressocycle
    Espressocycle Posts: 2,245 Member
    I used to be like that... with a girl I shouldn't have been with because in reality, I wasn't as into her as I thought I was.
  • TheKeithEllis
    TheKeithEllis Posts: 155 Member
    To OP: Sounds like a numpty, move on. :(
  • gogojodee
    gogojodee Posts: 1,243 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.
    I'm stealing your word. :laugh:
    My list of insults now includes (in addition to the expected ones): douchecanoe, twatwaffle, and c.untmuffin. Thank you, MFP. You've taught me so much.

    I know, right!! :laugh: Stealing 'em!
  • smiley245
    smiley245 Posts: 420 Member
    Now I'm not a particularly jealous girlfriend, but he really pushes it. When he mentions a friend, it has to be "my really hot friend" or "this girl who I can't believe doesn't think she's pretty" or "she's pretty much the fittest girl here". He's already admitted to flirting with other girls but justifies it as being ok because "it's only a joke". He also told me about how he dream cheated on me "once with two girls at once lol".

    It's called grooming behavior. He is trying to get you in bed with other women. He is trying to both set the stage and illicit a response from you to open that door.

    Move on.

    This was my first thought too!
    but as others have said, maybe he is really immature and insecure, might be doing this to provoke a reaction from you.
    Some people think making you jealous is cute...:noway:

    In any case, have you brought this up with him and told him it bothers you? (ah just read, update to come)
  • bannedword
    bannedword Posts: 299 Member
    While I want to be clear that if this behavior bothers you, you should act accordingly, I don't think you can really get mad at anyone for what they dream about.

    I had a dream that my husband got mad at me because he believed I was cheating on him with someone named Ryan. I don't know anyone named Ryan.

    I dreamed that I got arrested for being a terrorist because I dropped a cigarette in a trash can and that started a fire. I don't even smoke!

    I have, from time to time, dreamt of other men.
  • doin_it
    doin_it Posts: 414 Member
    You are a beautiful, young lady..you deserve somebody who will love and respect you!!
  • MrsSausage58
    MrsSausage58 Posts: 143 Member
    Bin him.
  • larsmac83
    larsmac83 Posts: 24
    OP, if he makes you feel this bad about yourself, find someone who fills you with confidence about all your good qualities instead. Don't waste more of your time thinking there's anything you can do about this guy. Forget him and find someone that calls YOU hot all the time instead of his girl friends.
  • KAbena
    KAbena Posts: 50 Member
    Your guy is meant to make you feel like no other woman exists, not compare you to everyone else. Truth is you deserve better. Onwards!
  • crowlg94
    crowlg94 Posts: 41
    Drop him like a hot potato. He has no respect for you and will cheat on you.
  • DonttrythatwithME
    DonttrythatwithME Posts: 214 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    how about a Douchcano?

    Description: A Volcanic Douche prone to erupting douche comments all over the place

    Alternative: Bell End [UK Version]
  • cgirlygirl
    cgirlygirl Posts: 49
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    This!

    And I am glad that I am not the only one that says douchecanoe!!
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    For the win
  • Ashshell
    Ashshell Posts: 185
    You do not sound insecure and I can't think of anyone that I know who would tolerate that behavior. You absolutely CAN call him out and you should. I'm not one who thinks you can change a person so I would move on, but you can always talk to him about how you feel if you want to give him a shot to make some changes.
  • craigmandu
    craigmandu Posts: 976 Member
    Next time...just say "Yea...I'm not really into other girls"....unless you are.
  • jamesrmgibson
    jamesrmgibson Posts: 17 Member
    I think you should find someone who is a man instead of a douchecanoe.

    :drinker:

    Brilliant, no more need be said.
  • jesgaa
    jesgaa Posts: 17
    I think he has no respect for you and you deserve better. People only treat you the way you allow them to treat you. Stand up for yourself and move on!
  • BeckyAnne4
    BeckyAnne4 Posts: 143 Member
    No he does not have to tell you when he thinks another woman is "hot". It is disrespectful, and in my opinion, a way to slowly diminish your self esteem. If you love him and he loves you, ask him why he feels the need to tell you these things.

    If the answer seems genuine to you, stick with it. If the answer is "what is your problem, are your jealous, insecure, etc?" that tells you what he is about. At that point it's your choice to stay with him.

    Remember though, you cannot complain about what you permit. Respect each other and be happy or decide not to block your blessings and move him aside for a man who will talk about how hot you are.



    ^^^ THIS! all of this! exactly this!
  • nonstopper
    nonstopper Posts: 1,108 Member
    Well the only thing i can think of is leave him and come with me........:drinker:
  • MrsDanner78
    MrsDanner78 Posts: 107
    I agree with some of the posters who suggested that we really may need more context about your guy. My husband and I are ridiculously happy together, and neither one of us are the jealous type. We are constantly talking about the hot woman he saw, or the hot guy I saw... we'll point them out to each other and see what we think. Now, unlike what it sounds like in your situation, it's something that we are both comfortable with, and sometimes we even use what we've learned about each others' likes and dislikes and men and women we've found hot to fuel fantasies or dirty talk to keep our sex life exciting. But the key is that it has to be something that you talk about together - unless you tell him how you feel about it, he won't necessarily know that it bothers you. Maybe he really thinks that you are hotter that the woman he's looking at, but doesn't realize that he needs to reinforce that idea with you. Maybe he's actually insecure and is trying to get a rise out of you to reinforce the fact that you are still attracted to him...

    Anyway, the best course of action is to talk to him. If he really seems insensitive to the fact that it bothers you, or can't understand your point of view, or if he's not willing to change his behavior, then it's time to move on. But if he's responsive to your request for him to stop his behavior, then he's a keeper!

    I look forward to hearing your update!
  • sounds like a douche.... he should be making other girls jealous of you, not the other way around
  • Capt_Inzane
    Capt_Inzane Posts: 733 Member
    With guys like this out there how the hell am I single?

    I was actually thinking he was trying to lower your self-esteem so that if he were to cheat on you could be like "there's tons of other girls that are better than you and your lucky to be with me" or some stupid crap like that.


    Either way hope that you find happiness, your significant other should never make you feel anything less than amazingly special.
  • Beastmode454
    Beastmode454 Posts: 340 Member
    Sounds like he is testing you. Trying to see what he can get away with. Eventually he will think its okay to do whatever he wants and you will be okay with it. SO if it bothers you and makes you uncomfortable you should express that to him.
  • UrbanLotus
    UrbanLotus Posts: 1,163 Member
    You don't sound insecure, he sounds like a disrespectful douchenozzle, move on!
  • donald149
    donald149 Posts: 211 Member
    I think you already know the answer!
  • IHTSM
    IHTSM Posts: 51 Member
    trust your gut
  • Liatush
    Liatush Posts: 627 Member
    You should move on. This is not healthy at all and no one should deal with this. It's completely inconsiderate and not to mention that every woman should be treated like a queen by her SO, not told about how hot all these other women are. Ditch him and find someone who will appreciate you and say those things about you and not to you regarding someone else. Good luck

    This. Every word of this.
  • PlayerHatinDogooder
    PlayerHatinDogooder Posts: 1,018 Member
    Drop him like a hot potato. He has no respect for you and will cheat on you.

    I knew a hot potato once. He was cocky, arrogant, and completely full of himself.
    hot-potato-gif-o_zpsec1a0b1c.gif

    Then he realized no one could touch him. Not more than a second at least.
    hot-potato_zps422ce355.gif

    When that realization hit he grew desperate and lonely. He tried to find comfort in the arms of other people rather than looking inward at himself. He turned to drugs, alcohol, food, you name it. Nothing could fill the void.

    This is how his story ended . . . .
    HOT_zpsc74c386b.gif