Spa owner yells at Mom of Autistic child-Facebook Firestorm

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  • wineplease
    wineplease Posts: 469 Member
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    its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior.

    I can't believe you just made that last statement after knowing the child has autism. Discipline does not cure autism. Surely as a PA, you'd know this.
  • joybedford
    joybedford Posts: 1,680 Member
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    I am the mother of 2 amazing boys with autism and both of them have had tantrums and behaved like that while having there hair cut. Sadly I am no stranger to this form of treatment. I once took my children to get my hair cut because I had no child care and was told my children were the worst behaved children she had ever met, when I explained they have autism she said I should keep them locked up at home if they cant behave in a civilised manner. I told her my boys were entitled to go out as much as she was and they had an excuse for their behaviour what was hers for being rude. My hairdresser backed me up 100% and said if she didn,t be quiet she could no longer cut her hair. I have learned to ignore it I take the boys wherever i please sometimes I can,t wait to get home but i won,t let it keep me in the house.
  • kimmie185
    kimmie185 Posts: 550 Member
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    upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

    She could have still acted like a professional at her own place of business regardless of the situation. Yelling at your customers is not professional.
  • KatLifter
    KatLifter Posts: 1,314 Member
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    i thought the spa was a place to send mom and dad to get away from screaming kids....

    Dude......So you hate kids, we get it! Enough already.

    I LOVE kids. We all need to get away from them. The spa is a place to do that. Don't hate on someone you don't know because of the accepted atmosphere of a spa.
  • AZKristi
    AZKristi Posts: 1,801 Member
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    A salon is a place for adults to relax, not a place to bring a child.
  • vdobbs28
    vdobbs28 Posts: 72 Member
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    And I'm glad that you were there. Being someone that has supposedly worked with autistic people, you should support the mother who it happened to. You should know from experience what it's like. I have 2 autistic cousin's and they have gone to nice places without any problems and with throwing fits and NOBODY ever said ANYTHING to them because they could see that they were autistic. It's call RESPECT and some people are just so low that they don't have any.

    its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior. you keep skipping over that fact that you dont even know which autism the kid has.

    title of story, Loud kid make spa owner upset.

    I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.
  • newdaydawning79
    newdaydawning79 Posts: 1,503 Member
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    We're hearing one side of the story.

    Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.

    Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?

    I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.

    If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years

    It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did

    The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
    This was more like the final straw

    Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year

    Actually if you look on TripAdvisor you'll see that all of the reviews prior to this incident (which has sparked a slew of false reviews based on this story) were positive.

    Try Yelp, they have a lot of the new ones that have come from this but they also have negative ones dating back to 2011. There's not a single positive review on there that I saw and I think I saw them all.
  • tlangenfeld
    tlangenfeld Posts: 2,330 Member
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    where is the like and dislike button on here some of these i really like
  • Pixi_Rex
    Pixi_Rex Posts: 1,676 Member
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    I looked up the website for M spa and there is no where on there that says the spa has children's pricing anywhere so I do not see why they would even book a child in for a hair cut. One can clearly see it is a Spa meant for adults and not something for children. I personally would have been choked if I was there for spa or hair treatment and had to listen to a small child freaking out because of a hair cut. Autism or not - you cannot see that a child is autistic and perhaps the owner had a complaint?

    The way she handled the situation lacks tact, it looks poorly on her, she very well could have come out and quietly dealt with the situation rather than making a spectacle of it. It is horrible that a woman was treated poorly but as a customer who would be paying good money at a place I would be pretty unhappy to have to hear that - even if the music was louder I generally go to the spa to relax and having a child crying is not relaxing in the least.

    I also have to question the mother - why would you take a child to a spa for their first hair cut - especially a child with special needs? There are places that are just for kids cuts they would be better equipped to help calm the child sometimes haircuts are scary for small children. Hell sometimes haircuts are scary for me and I am an adult woman with a hair dresser for a mother.
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    its you who wants to make it about autism... its about a parent not taking control of their kids behavior.

    I can't believe you just made that last statement after knowing the child has autism. Discipline does not cure autism. Surely as a PA, you'd know this.

    where did i say discipline? and you dont know what spectrum of autism the child has.. stop playing what if and stick to facts. owner didnt say **** about autism, only complained about behavior.
  • RGv2
    RGv2 Posts: 5,789 Member
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    upscale spa, her business, her rules. dont bring kids...

    I am wondering what kind of spa it was... at the spas I go to where I spend over $100 it's supposed to be a relaxing atmosphere and I don't know why anyone would bring kids. I would be mad if I spent $100 to have someone bring their kid, autistic or not, just so I can hear crying during my manicure.

    Although if it is a place that offers kids haircuts, then crying kids could be expected.

    Also don't see what being autistic has to do with it. Sounds like she didn't know he was autistic before she yelled, so she wasn't yelling at him for being autistic, and children without autism cry all the time during haircuts anyway.

    very good points.. and everyone here is being way too anally PC about a point that didnt matter. The owner didnt say get that special kid outta here. the owner was mad the kid was being too loud and the parent failed to control it.

    plain and simple. yet you "sick" people wanna make a mountain out of a mole hill.

    parent should take the kid to super cuts, not a upscale spa.

    1. There are no rules that children are not allowed

    2. The woman had been a client there for 2years and her son getting his hair cut there for the past year - the owner knew he was autistic

    3. The status was written by a bystander who said he wasn't even being that loud

    4. This owner has had made a reputation for herself over the past 5 years due to how poorly she treats clients. Her employees are what keeps her in business

    5. A friend of mine has worked there for 5years - she resigned today because that incident was the final straw

    1. silence is the golden rule of the spa

    2. there is a broad spectrum of autism, we dont know if the kid had Rett syndrome, PDD-NOS, Asperger's and childhood disintegrative disorder. so we dont know if she was able to tell he was autistic by looks, or if the owner knew outright the info,since this was stated as newly being diagnosed. Also, she never said anything about the kids condition, just his behavior in her place of business.

    3. its a spa, see golden rule number 1

    4. its her business. her money, her life. if she made it past 1 year, she is doing it right.

    5. in this economy, im sure the business owner had 40 applications to fill that one new paying seat

    Dude, you got boxed up and now you just come off looking like an idiot. Her business, her money, her life....apparently her business accepts appointments to cut kids hair.
  • Christizzzle
    Christizzzle Posts: 454 Member
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    I think the salon owner acted in a way that makes me embarrassed for her.

    That being said, I think the mother should have had her son in mind when chooing a place to get his hair cut. I have always taken my kids to a place that specialized in kids hair cuts like Mop Tops. They get to sit on a animal or airplane chair, get their hair washed with banana or chocolate shampoo, choose a movie to watch and walk away with a balloon. The people working there have experience with kids and know how to calm them in that situation. It is easier on everyone involved.

    I'm not saying the mom deserved the lashing but she could have avoided it had she thought about her son.
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    I have a 4 yr old who is not autistic and he SCREAMS during a haircut...it's not the parent's fault. You can soothe a child for only so long and sometimes they just don't care and keep going. You must not have kids...to say something so shallow.

    knowing your kid screams during haircuts... would you put yourself or your kid in an upscale spa for a haircut?
  • allaboutthecake
    allaboutthecake Posts: 1,531 Member
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    Ok...I'll give you my story on a similar incident.

    My son's first haircut, he was about 1 I guess, it was traumatic for him and he wasn't happy. He was crying loudly....the hairdresser who still does his cuts to this day (he's 16 now) was being as cordial as she could and trying to be as gentle as possible.

    A lady who was there said "Get him under control" in a snarky tone. My wife says to the woman, "it's his first haircut, he's scared".

    The woman says, "I don't care, I don't come here to listen to whiny brats". This is a family haircuttery...lots of kids...and most people understand that it can be a scary thing to a young kid. Anyhow, the owner of the place comes out and says to the woman, "Calm down, he's a baby." The woman says...."I just don't think I can come here again if this is how it is going to be". The owner says, sorry ma'am, your haircut is free, you can leave". The woman was about 1/4 way through her haircut with her hair pulled through some hood or something. They stopped her cut right there and she was escorted out.

    My wife started to tear up a little, and the owner said to her..."It's not your fault, some people think they are the only people in the world". We have never gotten a haircut anywhere else, ever.


    Where is the "LOVE IT" button on mfp?!?? Excellent. The owner "did the right thing" by not charging the hair cut and showing the woman to a quieter place....her vehicle. YAY
  • pspetralia
    pspetralia Posts: 963 Member
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    We're hearing one side of the story.

    Apparently, the owner didn't know the boy was autistic till after the tongue lashing. I hear people speak of children while waiting in line for whatever, about how bad other people's children behave without inquiring if the child is autistic or not.

    Just in defense of the owner, maybe she was having a bad day and it set her off. Somehow that doesn't happen to good people?

    I've handled things bad on occasion due to being miffed at something else. Nothing personal against the person it was directed toward, it was just anger that I vented wrong.

    If we as a society are just going to accept that one side of the story is completely right without objectively listening to the other side, then we're back to witch hunts again.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition

    Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years

    It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did

    The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
    This was more like the final straw

    Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year

    So basically you are surprised that this owner acted poorly even though she has had a history of bad behavior for the past FIVE years?? This really has nothing to do with the child being autistic. It has to do with the owner. Sounds like people reinforce her bad behavior by going there any way.
  • vdobbs28
    vdobbs28 Posts: 72 Member
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    A lot of people on here act like autistic children/people don't deserve to go where other people go...that is SOOO wrong!! If the mother is paying the money, and she has been a client there and they know how the child is, there should've been no issue!! I hope that woman's business sinks!!

    We know this because a random person on the internet told us? Let's hear some reliable facts before we start the Witch Hunts, as NinerBuff said. This post is full of righteous Indignation.

    It doesn't matter, autistic people have just as much of a right as anybody else!!

    More rights than the other people at the spa?
    Believe me, I'm all for equal rights and have worked with autistic kids, but the onus is on the caretaker to make sure that they take the child to appropriate places where their behavior won't cause as much of a disturbance.

    It seems like the only person it disturbed was the owner..

    Says one person from the other side of the spa?

    And I'm glad that you were there. Being someone that has supposedly worked with autistic people, you should support the mother who it happened to. You should know from experience what it's like. I have 2 autistic cousin's and they have gone to nice places without any problems and with throwing fits and NOBODY ever said ANYTHING to them because they could see that they were autistic. It's call RESPECT and some people are just so low that they don't have any.

    Just saying we can't judge the situation based on someone's Facebook status.
    See they're autistic? Really not that easy - I have 2 cousins and you can't 'see it'
    Sorry, it's on the caretaker to bring their child to a safe place during a potentially traumatic event.

    Yes, you can...you can see it in how they are acting and how they handle their selves. I would know because I was raised around them my whole life!
  • ninerbuff
    ninerbuff Posts: 48,583 Member
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    Bad reviews & complaints regarding this owner go back 5 years
    Lots of businesses get bad reviews and complaints. If were that bad, then the business should have closed 4 years ago. Not saying that the owner is right, just saying that reviews and complaints are subjective sometimes.
    It was not the mother who posted about this - a bystander did
    Bystanders can see things differently. Not all bystanders see things the same.
    The owner refuses to comment and so far I personally know one woman who has resigned.
    This was more like the final straw.
    Certainly within her right. People shouldn't stay if they aren't comfortable in their work environment.
    Also like I said before, this was NOT the boy's first time at this salon, he had gotten his hair cut there for the past year
    So did the owner tongue lash the mother every time he came? And if the mother accepted it each time, then why come back? Something doesn't sound right here.

    A.C.E. Certified Personal/Group FitnessTrainer
    IDEA Fitness member
    Kickboxing Certified Instructor
    Been in fitness for 30 years and have studied kinesiology and nutrition
  • totalsham
    totalsham Posts: 217 Member
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    Dude, you got boxed up and now you just come off looking like an idiot. Her business, her money, her life....apparently her business accepts appointments to cut kids hair.

    answer you with this....
    I looked up the website for M spa and there is no where on there that says the spa has children's pricing anywhere so I do not see why they would even book a child in for a hair cut. One can clearly see it is a Spa meant for adults and not something for children. I personally would have been choked if I was there for spa or hair treatment and had to listen to a small child freaking out because of a hair cut. Autism or not - you cannot see that a child is autistic and perhaps the owner had a complaint?
  • WannaDizzolve
    WannaDizzolve Posts: 270 Member
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    We've all been annoyed by crying children. In grocery stores, restaurants, and yes, even upscale salons. Unlike the first 2 types of businesses, you cannot walk out in the middle of getting a haircut.

    There's usually a quiet corner or a break room if a child (or out of control client--it happens) gets too feisty.

    The owner of the "spa" (salon is more like it) completely mishandled this. She should have discreetly offered her office (or break room) for the haircut. Completely humiliating the mother was out of bounds. And possibly actionable.

    And for those of you up in arms over a child's (i don't care if the kid's autistic or not.) crying. Is it annoying? Yes. Now get over it. Noise happens. Once you leave the house, all bets are off. The world does not exist solely for your convenience or comfort. Yes, it would be nice if all was quiet, but life doesn't always go that way.

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