A Success Story Of A Different Nature

I am a little wary of posting this, because my success story is not a story of weight loss from obesity, but of making good headway in overcoming a decades long eating disorder, and gaining weight since joining mfp. I developed anorexia when I was 13 years old, and it continued on and off for ten years following, taking me down to just 70Ibs at 5'11 the age of 18. I almost died, basically, and again when in my early 20s. I will not go into the cause of my ED, other than to say that I was abused when younger as a child, and the ED was my way of feeling in control, and my way of maybe avoiding my emotions.

Last year, I joined mfp, having slipped back into a mindset where I wished to be lighter than I should have been for my height. At that point, my goal was not to gain weight, but rather to stay as I was, or lose even more. I had a dread of gaining, and the thought of doing weights, and possibly gaining muscle weight kept me far away from strength training. I did not starve myself, but I was not eating enough to cover my active lifestyle. I went down to 123Ibs(I am now only 5'10 - lost an inch from the anorexia) and although I could see I looked underweight, I did not want to change.

Come September last year, I hit an emotional crisis and binged my way up to 140 Ibs. It was a miserable time, but at some point while in the gym, I saw a barbell laying around, and decided I would try and lift it. From there, I started doing stronglifts, my thoughts being 'What the heck, I gained weight anyway so I might as well do something useful with it'. I still had the wish to lose weight and get back down to where I had been, but as time moved on, I seemed to stop aiming for that, and just carried on with the weights, switching to circuits, and eating enough to sustain it. I still weigh around 140, and although some might find muscle on a female unattractive, I quite like what I see when I am working it.

I no longer check my weight. I only know it because a trainer wanted to take my statistics. My bodyfat is sub 15%, and I would say, compared to this time last year, I have come on in leaps and bounds, in spite of still struggling on occasion with insecurity and the odd bad day. It is still a battle, obviously, but at 38, I am hoping I am finally starting to move forward and find a healthier outlet for my emotions. Here are a few photos of how I looked prior to September last year, and how I look today.

Please be kind or skip this post if you find anything in it offensive to the eye.





And now.