My Husband called me a fat @zz yesterday

and he's still breathing???? There is no excuse for abusive comments like that. Things said in anger are his true feelings, unmasked. Kick him to the f***ing curb, imho.

I did not read 15 pages so I don't know if this was addressed:

but I am 36 and he is only 28 so he can get any young girl he wants so this also puts more pressure on me

Has he ever said anything about finding someone younger, or is this your own insecurities talking? Really, age has not much to do with it.

I'm sorry... if my husband was that cruel and childish he wouldn't be around for long. Even in our worst argument my husband knows better and is a grown man and would never take such cheap shots.

A husband (or wife) should be there to support you and love you regardless. Calling you names is abuse. I would allow my husband to say something like that once, but only once and than he'd be out on the street.

Ultimately, do not lose weight for him. Lose weight for you and no one else.

You need to speak with him and see why he thought it was ok to say those things to you. If HE doesn't want to correct the situation than you need to figure out what you will do.

Don't not eat to fast and detox. You don't need to detox. Eat properly.

Regardless of how mad me and my husband may get at each other, we have never EVER called each other names. Not just names, but hurtful jabs at each other. That's just wrong.

And I'm sorry but if HE'S not sorry for what he said, his *kitten* needs to go.

Totally agree! I hope he has apologized by now or you have moved out!

LOVE yourself and love what you want to be.
No one's opinion is more important than yours.
If he was angry or not it does not matter cause he hurt you yet he motivated you.
Be beautiful inside and outside.
Talk with him about your relationship, your effort and your insecurities.
It works out better that way believe me^^

Maybe sit down and have a talk with him. Did you say any hurtful things back? Honestly just sitting him down and telling him how hurtful that was (when you are both calm) will help. Things said during fights cannot be taken back but they are also heat of the moment things and should be taken with a grain of salt.

I don't know anyone who has had success with 24 hour "detox" periods. I've always understood that to be broscience. To lose weight and gain fitness/energy you need to have a healthy diet with a controlled amount of calories every day.

I have experienced the same thing. Mine did this to me several years ago, and no - you never do forget those VERY hurtful words. But remember, they are just that - words. They are button pushers. He (and you) were in such a heated argument that he "went there". It's not right, it's not even justifiable, but it is forgiveable. The fourty punds (-/+) you have gained does not defy who you are today. You need to remind him of that- remind yourself of that. I have gained 80 pounds since I met my husband and in my situation he called me "disgusting" and I "made him sick". The humiliation is indescribable. You do feel sick, you don't want to eat and you do tend to let your mind wander into the "what-if's" and "what will happen when..." (he meets someone more attractive). Don't do that to yourself!
I imagine he already feels the remorse of saying those things to you and is sorry for hurting you so deeply. Explain to him how much this hurts, but do not make yourself a victim. Meaning, don't ask why me, etc... Simply let him know name calling will not be tolerated on either of your parts because people who love eachother do not hurt one another like this! Remember, don't live your life in the rear view mirror - most of us used to be thinner, so pick yourself up - and move forward. and yes, we are still married (18 years this Thurs.) and he tells me daily how beautiful I am, regardless of the extra weight.

That is exactly right. I would never put up with name calling and abuse in a marriage, and that's what this man did. I lived in my childhood seeing this acted out. My father was horrible to everyone and he used words and fists to show his power! I would not put up with it. That isn't love calling your mate names, especially weight names. Oh, this was so hard to hear.

"we all say things that hurt"
Ummm... no we don't. In 4 years, we have never said things that hurt to each other. Why do people think this is normal and okay? We have enough respect and love for each other that we would never want to sully our relationship with foul words or attitudes.

I hope things get better for you. This is sad.

time for a new husband.