He called me fat..

Ouch.

Wasn't a public thing, but I was in a sexless marriage and my wife told me it was because of my weight. Imagine my surprise when I lost 100 pounds and nothing changed.

People can be mean, sometimes on purpose, other times without intent. I really wish I had some magic words for you but I don't. You've got some insight into what sort of character this person is and you can now make an informed decision about whether this is the type of person you want to surround yourself with.

First of all I'd like to say that this isn't a call out for attention, nor am I fishing for compliments. I thought I was a strong girl who could deal with negative comments until two nights ago when I went out to meet some friends, and well, I was wrong.

I'd just finished a ten hour shift at work and I was really tired and a little cranky however that evening I had promised to see some friends our local Wetherspoons as it was one of my friend's birthdays. There was my best friend, her partner, let's call him Dave (not his real name, I don't think I can even bring myself to say his real name) Somebody who Dave used to work with and his girlfriend, both of whom are overweight. Dave and I have a history of bickering, like brother and sister, but never ever anything personal. My boyfriend was working away that night and so couldnt make it, so it ended up two couples and me. I kind of felt like the spare part at first because my boyfriend is almost always there but after a couple of drinks I began to feel better about the situation. There were also lots of people in the beer garden.

Anyway let's get to the point.. as the drinks went down the conversation got loud and turned to sex. I was tuning in and out of the conversation at that point as I was texting my boyfriend. Something along the lines of "you should get a fatty, they love a bit of sex" was said to Dave to which he turned to me and said the exact words infront of about ten people "Yeah, fatty's love it, don't they (my name)?" ..everybody started laughing, including the overweight people.. hysterically actually. I just sat there holding the tears back for ten minutes wondering whether to just get up and walk away or.. well I don't know what else I would have done. After about 20 minutes Dave went up to get a drink. I turned to his girlfriend, my best friend and asked her how she could put up with him doing that sort of thing to her friends, told her that I wouldnt be coming to her flat ever again and that I just can't believe what just happened. Meanwhile overweight couple are still sat right next to me laughing their heads off. I still feel like crying. There's no way he would have spoken to me in that way if my boyfriend was there.

I was wondering if anyone else has been in a similar situation where you are with a large group of people you see as friends, and then being humiliated and just wanting the ground to swallow you up there and then?

Not sure if anyone will actually read all of this. Just needed to get it off my chest.

Thanks for your replies Ladies

And yes, my best friend and her boyfriend are exactly the same. He is an absolout a-hole to her aswell and has been for ages. She wont leave him though. Nor will she do much about him calling me fat either. He also told me to "go have a shave" once, because I have quite obvious blonde facial hair. I think you might be right about kicking them both to the curb..

Truthfully, I don't think his comment was so much a "I'm going to make fun of you and call you a fatty" thing as a "let's shock and surprise the girl who's distracted, ignoring us and texting her boyfriend."

I understand feeling hurt by the comment, but if the guy teases you like brother and sister, I think he would expect something along the lines of "Why don't we ask yo mama?" instead of putting you in tears. I don't think he meant to hurt you.