So you got called fat.

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  • glin23
    glin23 Posts: 460 Member
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    Words don't have to hurt you unless you LET THEM. Stop letting the word "fat" hurt you. Yes, you are fat. Okay. Big whoop. You're also smart, or pretty, or fast, or artistic, or a million other awesome things. If you ask your husband and if you're fat and he says yes, let's not start a thread on the internet and have page after page of women bashing him for being such a scumbag. You asked a question, you got an answer. If a friend jokingly calls you fat, say "yeah, I am, but I'm working on changing that." Be proud of the fact that you're taking control of your body!

    To me this is the key. It's really hard but it's like you say, it's very easy to forget that we give worrds power, whatever they are. FWIW, I am a minority and I do have other medical issues that I've been bullied over. Even though it's hard I realize in the end, how I feel about myself is key. There will always be people who don't like me or think good things about me for whatever reason, valid or not. It's a hard pill to swallow, but still true.
  • bdtyson77302
    bdtyson77302 Posts: 86 Member
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    I actually commented on the most recent post about this topic. I felt sorry for the girl. I haven't ever had to deal with being called "fat" because I carry myself well even with a little weight on but I think I remember being called some of the other names you mentioned in your post! lol, that slut comment hit home and yes, that really was a fun night!!
    I think people with different personalities handle things differently. Some people carry their feelings on their shoulder and would cry if you cut in line in front of them. It really depends on the type of person you whether you have the ability to "let things go". I'm laid back but I have a friend who cries when the weather changes....if I told her she was being a ***** she would take it to heart whereas she calls me that like it's my name.
    It would be a perfect world if everyone would stop using all the names and a tolerable one if everyone could just let it go and move on with a smile.
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    Thank you for all the more recent comments. Some of you seem to understand what I was trying to say and I appreciate that. It's a really hard thing to put into words without offending people, and obviously I failed in some aspects. To those I have offended, I do apologize. That was never my intention.

    I am going to say this one more time: This thread is not about it being "okay" to call people fat because they should "suck it up." I never said anything like that and you people are really twisting my words around. I'm also not talking about mocking people, degrading them, or just being generally nasty. I'm SIMPLY talking about using the word "fat." As in, "I asked my husband if I had gotten fat and he said yes" Or "my friend made a statement about fat people and then asked me if it was true." (AKA, the hundreds of posts we see on the forums each day). While I certainly understand WHY those situations can be hurtful, I was trying to shed a different light on the topic. A few people who have commented here have done a really good job of summing up what I was saying, so if you didn't like my original post, maybe check out some of the comments for a better explanation.

    The fact is, I know a lot of overweight people (both in real life and on the internet) who take a "yes, I'm fat, what's you point?" type attitude about it, and I think it's awesome. I wanted to share that with more people on here, but apparently since it's not actually coming from a fat person, it's invalid. I'll have one of my overweight friends make the post for me next time :flowerforyou:
  • Delicate
    Delicate Posts: 625 Member
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    'You're fat'

    'atleast i can lose fat, you will still be ugly'

    mwahahaha =]

    and to this day, they are still ugly inside and out!
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
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    A friend tagged me on a picture of a cow on a famous social network.
    My comment: "wow, look at how I just love life on this pic!"

    Problem solved! :)

    Good on ya!
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
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    I am going to say this one more time: This thread is not about it being "okay" to call people fat because they should "suck it up." I never said anything like that and you people are really twisting my words around. I'm also not talking about mocking people, degrading them, or just being generally nasty. I'm SIMPLY talking about using the word "fat." As in, "I asked my husband if I had gotten fat and he said yes" Or "my friend made a statement about fat people and then asked me if it was true." (AKA, the hundreds of posts we see on the forums each day). While I certainly understand WHY those situations can be hurtful, I was trying to shed a different light on the topic. A few people who have commented here have done a really good job of summing up what I was saying, so if you didn't like my original post, maybe check out some of the comments for a better explanation.

    If it makes any difference, just wanted to say that I totally got what you were trying to say from your first post, and I completely agree. It's about how you take the comment. With any comment I get, e.g. "you're fat", I think about whether that's true (I acknowledge and move on) or not (ignore, make funny comment).

    I think some people misunderstood your point of view due to their past and sort of jumped on saying that you are trying to say calling ppl fat is ok, which is not what you were saying.
  • FixIngMe13
    FixIngMe13 Posts: 405 Member
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    Actually... It DOES hurt BUT.... that was the motivation I needed to get my FAT butt up and get busy changing it. For me personally, those things FUEL me to do something about it. If I don't like something... I change it. I can't change how people view me, but I can absolutely change how I view myself. Now... if I didn't THINK I was fat, I'd have no reason to change and well.. people can say what they want.. right? But if it HURTS, then it is time to take a stand (in your mind) and do something about it. Be the fuel that ignites that fire and do something productive about it.

    Good post... good points. Thank you. :flowerforyou:
  • FixIngMe13
    FixIngMe13 Posts: 405 Member
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    Thank you for all the more recent comments. Some of you seem to understand what I was trying to say and I appreciate that. It's a really hard thing to put into words without offending people, and obviously I failed in some aspects. To those I have offended, I do apologize. That was never my intention.

    I am going to say this one more time: This thread is not about it being "okay" to call people fat because they should "suck it up." I never said anything like that and you people are really twisting my words around. I'm also not talking about mocking people, degrading them, or just being generally nasty. I'm SIMPLY talking about using the word "fat." As in, "I asked my husband if I had gotten fat and he said yes" Or "my friend made a statement about fat people and then asked me if it was true." (AKA, the hundreds of posts we see on the forums each day). While I certainly understand WHY those situations can be hurtful, I was trying to shed a different light on the topic. A few people who have commented here have done a really good job of summing up what I was saying, so if you didn't like my original post, maybe check out some of the comments for a better explanation.

    The fact is, I know a lot of overweight people (both in real life and on the internet) who take a "yes, I'm fat, what's you point?" type attitude about it, and I think it's awesome. I wanted to share that with more people on here, but apparently since it's not actually coming from a fat person, it's invalid. I'll have one of my overweight friends make the post for me next time :flowerforyou:

    And I did btw get what you were trying to say... :) I didn't think you were trying to be hateful at all.
  • jen_zz
    jen_zz Posts: 1,011 Member
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    Actually... It DOES hurt BUT.... that was the motivation I needed to get my FAT butt up and get busy changing it. For me personally, those things FUEL me to do something about it. If I don't like something... I change it. I can't change how people view me, but I can absolutely change how I view myself. Now... if I didn't THINK I was fat, I'd have no reason to change and well.. people can say what they want.. right? But if it HURTS, then it is time to take a stand (in your mind) and do something about it. Be the fuel that ignites that fire and do something productive about it.

    Good post... good points. Thank you. :flowerforyou:

    Same! One of my good frd called me fat.. and I was quite humiliated and annoyed. But that's because it's true and I'm not mad at her, I'm mad at myself! That motivated me to workout!
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I understand where you are coming from OP, but your post shows a lack of empathy and you should consider evolving your position a bit. I understand you didn't mean to say its ok to call someone fat, but your words do imply that when taken to their logical conclusion.

    The reality is that humans are social animals, and one of the most powerful tools we have for influencing each other is our words. Sticks and stones will break my bones, but bones can be set and healed stronger than they started. Words can cripple your heart for life. Words are a tool for building or a weapon of destruction, not because we let them but because of our nature.

    Your post DOES make a good point, but raises an even bigger one in the process and unfortunately on that bigger point you could show a little more humanity.
  • djshari
    djshari Posts: 513 Member
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    I am fat and I've been called fat. Yes sometimes it hurt my feelings but I still get the point of the OP. I'm not sure what her being thin has to do with it. There are plenty of words people use to hurt others and it's the same with any of them.

    I feel sorry for all of you who are getting upset because I know you will waste so much time in your life being sad and butthurt and allowing other people to beat you down with words instead of fighting back or moving on. Many of you also seem to have a problem with reading comprehension.
  • obrientp
    obrientp Posts: 546 Member
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    I get what you are saying. I really do. But, as a fat child I was teased and called "fatty four eyes" and it hurt a lot and I internalized it. I was only 7 years old and unable to process comments like that to be anything other than hurtful. Yes, I was fat, and yes, I wore glasses, but to me, these words were not just nouns and adjectives, these were very painful arrows that went straight to my inner core. It took lots of years and hard work to get rid of those feelings caused by those words. Lots of people on MFP have lived through variations of this, and are still sensitive to being called fat. It's not just a word to them, it's a flashback to when they were a kid and being relentlessly teased. It's a reminder of years and years of pain, and feeling less than adequate.
  • lisa77marie
    lisa77marie Posts: 46 Member
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    If you don't like being called fat, do something about it. Yes, I was FAT. I lost the weight and I'm not called that anymore. Yes, it hurts to be called fat, but you have a choice to be so. Reality bites.

    Being fat as a child is a different story though, kids are cruel.
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I'm not sure what her being thin has to do with it.

    You don't see the relevance of an individual with a lot of sexual capital telling people with less sexual capital that they shouldn't feel bad if someone reminds them of it? When we live in a shared social setting where that has dramatic consequences in terms of financial, professional, and social success? You haven't noticed how hard it is to truly understand another's suffering until you've actually experienced it?

    If you've been called fat, and it hurt like hell and made you feel like you are less than a person, it's not your fault. It's a result of someone using your inalienable human nature to wound you. You don't need to change anything, it's the person hurting you who needs to change. If they're ignorant, they need to learn, and if they are mean, they need to be told their behavior is socially unacceptable to minimize the chance they will do it again.

    Yeah, if she was fat, it would still be **** advice, but reading this coming from someone who hasn't experienced obesity just doesn't do the argument any favors.
  • danofthedead1979
    danofthedead1979 Posts: 362 Member
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    I'm not sure what her being thin has to do with it.

    You don't see the relevance of an individual with a lot of sexual capital telling people with less sexual capital that they shouldn't feel bad if someone reminds them of it? When we live in a shared social setting where that has dramatic consequences in terms of financial, professional, and social success? You haven't noticed how hard it is to truly understand another's suffering until you've actually experienced it?

    If you've been called fat, and it hurt like hell and made you feel like you are less than a person, it's not your fault. It's a result of someone using your inalienable human nature to wound you. You don't need to change anything, it's the person hurting you who needs to change. If they're ignorant, they need to learn, and if they are mean, they need to be told their behavior is socially unacceptable to minimize the chance they will do it again.

    Yeah, if she was fat, it would still be **** advice, but reading this coming from someone who hasn't experienced obesity just doesn't do the argument any favors.


    Thank you, finally someone understands. beautifully put good sir. i think this should be the last post from me on this subject. i couldn't put it any better than your two recent posts.
  • JessicaPasieka
    JessicaPasieka Posts: 149 Member
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    I agree with the OP on this particular topic. I have been fat my entire life, until now. I'm at a healthy weight for my height and that was through hard work. Have I been called fat before? Many times. Has it hurt? Sure it has.
    However, I also believe that when some people call others "fat", it's more than them just stating that the obese person has "more body fat". I think a lot of people who call others "fat" use it as a very hurtful weapon, wanting the person to feel dirty, disgusted with themselves and beneath them.
  • Calliope610
    Calliope610 Posts: 3,771 Member
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    I am stilling wondering why some people are so intent on allowing other people (sometimes complete strangers) have so much influence on their feelings and actions.

    Why do you let others have so much power over you?
  • LaurenAOK
    LaurenAOK Posts: 2,475 Member
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    I agree with the OP on this particular topic. I have been fat my entire life, until now. I'm at a healthy weight for my height and that was through hard work. Have I been called fat before? Many times. Has it hurt? Sure it has.
    However, I also believe that when some people call others "fat", it's more than them just stating that the obese person has "more body fat". I think a lot of people who call others "fat" use it as a very hurtful weapon, wanting the person to feel dirty, disgusted with themselves and beneath them.

    Just wanted to say congratulations on your amazing weight loss! Any time I see triple digits on someone's ticker I'm in awe :drinker:
  • CkepiJinx
    CkepiJinx Posts: 613 Member
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    I am fat have been my whole life and I totally agree with you op. I am now working to lose my weight because I choose to.

    I have great self esteem always have. When ever anyone called me fat as a teen my response was always the same , " i own a mirror, could you tell me something I don't know?". Always shut them right up with out stooping to their level. I always figured if that was the only thing they could insult me about I was doing pretty good and it said more about them than me.

    Happy weight loss everyone!
  • pcastagner
    pcastagner Posts: 1,606 Member
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    I am stilling wondering why some people are so intent on allowing other people (sometimes complete strangers) have so much influence on their feelings and actions.

    Why do you let others have so much power over you?

    This is like asking why we let water have so much power over us.

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