"Your a fat b****!".....

245

Replies

  • meshashesha2012
    meshashesha2012 Posts: 8,329 Member
    I need to vent please...

    In 8 years of marriage he never told me that...We would fight but never said really hurtful things to each other. Why now?

    are you absolutely positively sure that the things you said during a fight weren't hurtful to him?
  • sullykat
    sullykat Posts: 461 Member
    good lord! it sounds like he thinks you did something… or he's making it seem like you did something. I'm certainly not saying you did do something.

    This is awful! Stay strong, do what you need to do to make sure things are as stable as they can be for you and your kids right now.
  • fitfreakymom
    fitfreakymom Posts: 1,400 Member
    cheating is not always physical, it can also be emotional and it sounds to me that he is cheating on you with some else emotionally
  • airforcewife1007
    airforcewife1007 Posts: 35 Member
    What an *kitten*..I know it's hard, but be glad you don't have to put up with his BS anymore. Stay strong and work hard to show him exactly what he could have had if he'd treated you right!
  • kimleverett
    kimleverett Posts: 7 Member
    I know it seems hurtful but, really, is that all he's got? I always figure that with someone my size (I was 100 lbs over wt) "that fat b****" is pretty much the "go to" insult. I am sure you are a beautiful and caring person and it seems like from the outside looking in there are some insecurities going on (maybe on both sides) and the best thing you can do right now is continue to get healthy for your kids. He will either come around or you will evolve to see that he is not worth your effort as a partner, which does not mean that you guys shouldn't continue to be great parents to that brood you have :-). Keep your chin up, this too shall pass (and don't get out the twinkies and try and eat your feelings)
  • BIGGGMOMMMA
    BIGGGMOMMMA Posts: 190
    My son has been crying for his dad and I just feel devastated for him. But I have already started to cut off his ties. Even if he's having some kind of breakdown he's not coming home again. Thank you so much for the support, this just happened a few hours ago and I don't really have any friends to talk to about this. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. Why did he ruin my family? Like WHO IS HE?? Thank you again, all your comments really help.
  • honey_bee_keysha
    honey_bee_keysha Posts: 773 Member
    I am so sorry to hear this. As someone said in a statement above, he did you a favor. He has shown you his true colors and showed just how hurtful he can be. Don't allow it to happen again and make sure you and your children are going to be okay financially.
  • Kittyvicious1
    Kittyvicious1 Posts: 190 Member
    Maybe he has been talking and only talking to other women. Honestly, I have caught my husband chatting. I do not condone itbut I work through it with him. Yeah it hurts but we both have faults but Anything furthur than chatting I draw my line. That is my marriage of 14yrs.

    It hurts but it is normal for everyone to fantasize yes you and me also think about othet men as your husband also thinks of other women.
    He should be more considerate of your feelings and not lash out like he did. I dont doubt he is not hiding something, he most likly is. At this point if he comes home sit down and talk to him with the emotions aside and get to the bottom of the problem.
    Then you can decide what is best for your marriage.

    On another note do not let this issue discourage you or put you down or unmotivate you ad this has happen to me. Keep workingout and taking care of yourself and kids.

    All will be fine and wkout for the best. Good luck
  • auroranflash
    auroranflash Posts: 3,569 Member
    My son has been crying for his dad and I just feel devastated for him. But I have already started to cut off his ties. Even if he's having some kind of breakdown he's not coming home again. Thank you so much for the support, this just happened a few hours ago and I don't really have any friends to talk to about this. I'm exhausted and just want to sleep. Why did he ruin my family? Like WHO IS HE?? Thank you again, all your comments really help.

    *big hugs* ... Taking care of all the legal, financial, etc details is a very difficult thing to do. Make sure you change all your passwords to any sites if he knew them, also. Cut him off, don't give him the opportunity to further hurt you. I will be praying things work out, I know it stings, but it'll be okay in the end. Promise.
  • Barbellerella
    Barbellerella Posts: 1,838 Member
    And you have 7 kids?! Are they all at home? you poor thing. Good luck.
  • chelstakencharge
    chelstakencharge Posts: 1,021 Member
    This could be a blessing for you and your kids
  • choijanro
    choijanro Posts: 754 Member
    **** Happens ,, just pray to God and do something
  • shadus
    shadus Posts: 424 Member
    I'm sorry, I wish you well.

    Edit: To add some actual advice, lawyer up and keep doing what you've been doing.
  • michellechawner
    michellechawner Posts: 892
    Nothing I can say will make it better.

    Just... wow.

    I am speechless that a man would leave his kids behind and call them "your problem". Falling out of love with someone happens a lot unfortunately, even in marriages. But your own blood? Just... wow.

    You do what you need to. Yes it's still new and fresh. Get help however you can. Counseling, money, food, do whatever you need to do to support you and your kids. I know you are a mess, but your kids need you right now, more than anything. They are just as shocked as you are.

    I wish I had the magic answer, or could say something that wasn't as cliche as "keep your head up, you'll be ok"

    If you want to vent, you can message me. I'm on constantly. Even if you just want to shout and vent words, even if none of it makes sense.

    I hope things get better soon. BE STRONG and take care of your family. Do what you need to do.
  • Songbirdcw
    Songbirdcw Posts: 320 Member
    As a newlywed, I cannot imagine how I would feel if this happened to me. I do know I would go into survival mode and get my stuff in order. You can't take any chances, even if you guys do reconcile. I can not begin to try to analyze what is going on in his head. I'm sure you have a lot of questions yourself. Pray about the situation, get some rest, and let God lead you through this situation. He will take care all of your needs. Sending lots of love your way. Things WILL get better!
  • Dre8604
    Dre8604 Posts: 61 Member
    Wow... some people are just so ugly and horrible. Reach out to your friends and family... you'll get through this!!
  • britttttx3
    britttttx3 Posts: 458
    His loss.
  • Gorgeousaurus
    Gorgeousaurus Posts: 23 Member
    If I learned anything in the past 4.5 years since my ex left me high and dry at 6 months pregnant (he was cheating and informed me my pregnancy was going to f*** that all up ...) is sometimes we are better off not to ask why. There will never be a logical or acceptable answer when it comes to something interfering with the lives of your children. It will be difficult but you'll get through it! Us mothers are a lot tougher than we often give ourselves credit for! Take care
  • VioletNightshade
    VioletNightshade Posts: 197
    Oh my gosh, I am so sorry to hear this. *lots of hugs and support*

    As someone else said, this may be a blessing in disguise for you and the children. One can only hope.

    I don't really know what to say, other than that though things will undoubtedly be tough, you'll just have to be a fighter and, as Tim Gunn says on Project Runway "Make it work." Other women have done so in the past, it's not impossible. Sometimes when we go through difficult things, it shows us how strong we really are. Don't let this break you, and don't punish yourself, allow it to show you how much of a mama lion you are, and let that inner lioness go for the kill and take this problem down.

    Quite often people do things out of selfishness. Leaving your family to fend for themselves is the absolute height of selfishness. I hope you realize that the problem is with him, not you.

    For a mental break it might be a good idea to read books about strong women for inspiration. My favourites are The Color Purple, Memoirs of a Geisha, Gone With the Wind and Girl With the Dragon Tattoo, but GoodReads.com has a pretty long list of books tagged "strong women," as well.

    You've done well so far, and now your children are looking to you as an example of how to respond to life's hardships. Be fierce and take this problem on with everything you have. One day, they'll look back on this when they're experiencing a rough patch and go "My mom is one of the strongest people I've ever seen, and I want to be like her."

    Just keep swimming...
  • quiqui29
    quiqui29 Posts: 42
    Sorry to hear that but font you have his social security number to make sure he takes care of his responsibilty and for you do what you need to make you happy and healthy.
  • JustCallMe_Tanya_Eh
    JustCallMe_Tanya_Eh Posts: 954 Member
    Woah...
  • Nicolee_2014
    Nicolee_2014 Posts: 1,572 Member
    Wow, you have 7 children!!
    Good luck with it all. You and your children are better off without him.
  • char_barr
    char_barr Posts: 125 Member
    My first thought was drug use, not an excuse IN ANY WAY, but it could be. You can only be responsible for yourself, your actions and reactions, and what your children are exposed to. Good luck with all this, I am sure it is scary and heartbreaking, but you will find a way to be successful and happy. Try not to turn to bad food habits in this stressful situation. Best to you
  • MyChocolateDiet
    MyChocolateDiet Posts: 22,281 Member
    **** Happens ,, just pray to God and do something

    Kid, I don't know how old you are but you're gonna be alright.
  • robdel302
    robdel302 Posts: 292 Member
    Sorry for your situation and hope it gets better soon.
  • astartig
    astartig Posts: 549 Member
    I am so very sorry,....If I were you I would have a good cry,then get mad!! Damn Mad!,...and take this as a gift to your life! YOU ARE BEAUTIFUL,& don't need that toxic retard in your life.. Focus on your kids,and take out the hurt and anger on WORKOUTS! The best revenge is to move forward..move on and look Fab while you do it!!! Best Wishes! Keep yo Head Mama!

    seconded
  • KenosFeoh
    KenosFeoh Posts: 1,837 Member
    Unbelievable how life can turn completely around in an instant! I wish you and your kids the best.
    Make him pay. He owes it to his kids.
  • Ivey05131980
    Ivey05131980 Posts: 1,118 Member
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  • slkehl
    slkehl Posts: 3,801 Member
    Be glad he showed his true colors before he wasted any more years of your life. Let yourself grieve for a bit, CHANGE THE LOCKS and don't let that jerk back in. Your life will be more peaceful now.

    Agreed. I am SO sorry!! I've had men that I've dated completely change, and it's impossible to understand. But I've found comfort in my belief that God is unchanging and will never abandon me. I hope that you know that you are truly loved and cherished by your creator. Hug those kids tight!
  • RebekahR84
    RebekahR84 Posts: 794 Member
    I didn't read through all the other responses, so sorry if anyone has already said this. But I feel like he called you that because he knows that's what's going to sting the worst considering you worked so hard to lose weight. This was his way of damaging the relationship beyond repair. If he really felt that way about your looks, he wouldn't have hung around for 8 years. Something's come up with him just now to make him want to end the relationship, and it's not your weight. My money is that it's another female. She probably gave him an ultimatum to leave you, and this was like him just ripping off the bandage.
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