How disgusting is this...
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*She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.
But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.
She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.
She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.
It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.
I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...
I TOTALLY agree with this...well said
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this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
THANK YOU.
What is actually disgusting is rampant body shaming, fascist ideas about what bodies are supposed to look like, or the notion that everyone should have the same desires about their own size and weight.
what does fascism have to do with this??? :huh:0 -
Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.
You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.
Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?0 -
the girl is 23. it's very easy to feel strong and defiant against something in your late teens and early twenties.
i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.
she *was* 23 when she started out the story....
this is her life, her choice. it's not for us to tell her what to do. i think she wrote this beautifully, regardless of whether or not i agree with her.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
THANK YOU.
What is actually disgusting is rampant body shaming, fascist ideas about what bodies are supposed to look like, or the notion that everyone should have the same desires about their own size and weight.
what does fascism have to do with this??? :huh:
^ finally someone other than me was thinking this0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...
sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type. you can't be anorexic and healthy, whereas you CAN be fat and healthy. as this woman clearly says in her article, according to all the tests that don't have to do with her weight, she is healthy. the point is, we're not speculating on her health here. we're speculating on her bodily autonomy as a human being with a right to do what she wants with her body, and how people take issue with that. the responses in this thread are perfect examples. what she chooses to do with her body has nothing to do with you, with the OP, with me, or with anyone else. (and don't even get me started on the whole ~omg i'm paying her healthcare~ bs, because as i've just stated, she's healthy so it's a non-issue.)
i think what's disgusting is the way that many doctors treat fat patients. it leads to fat people being terrified to go to the doctor, and then, guess what? when they do have a medical problem, by the time they get it treated it's exacerbated itself to a point it never should have, giving the doctor even more fuel to blame it on a patient's weight.
shame does not motivate most people to do anything. it makes them hate themselves, which is not conducive to change or healthy behavior. shame, simply put, does not work. that's a big part of what the author was getting at.
shes only has healthy blo0d work cause she is 23.... that wont last long id she doesnt change her eating habits.
this is going to be nitpicky but oh well. she's not 23. the article states that at the time she was at the clinic with her therapist, she was 23. it doesn't state her current age.
The point is that she's young, and the real dangers of obesity are long-term.0 -
Would it be disgusting if somebody smokes their whole life and is slowly dying of lung cancer or the kind?
What about the masses of individuals who drown thier sorrows in alcohol or party every single weekend without thinking of the consequences it is having on thier liver or brain for that matter?
What of the individuals who are addicted to illicit drugs, prescription drugs?
What about the people who are deliberatly not eating or sticking thier fingers down thier throats to indulge a fantasy of being 'overweight'?
These issues are mired in mental health and are just not easily discounted as 'you just have to eat better'.
Just as you wouldn't tell a person who is suffering from depression to just 'get over it and be happy for all the blessings in your life' shouldn't make it any less imparitive to understand the dynamics of the human psyche and emotion.
its pignant, for sure, and I fear that 'disqusting' is too harsh a word.0 -
Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.
You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.
Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?
i posted why in these forums. health.0 -
I'm not disgusted, I'm f*cking heartbroken. The Mama Bear in me is welling up for that little 7-year-old supergirl. As for the rest, I'm old enough to know that this probably isn't her final decision. At least I hope not.
Going to give my daughter extra hugs tonight.
This. Times 2.0 -
I'm not disgusted, I'm f*cking heartbroken. The Mama Bear in me is welling up for that little 7-year-old supergirl. As for the rest, I'm old enough to know that this probably isn't her final decision. At least I hope not.
Going to give my daughter extra hugs tonight.
I wholeheartedly agree with the above.
While many on this thread are aiming at her weight, how many are seeing that she had no one to turn to growing up? Both her parents were focused on appeasing her dad, and expected the same of her. She could have turned anorexic, tried to commit suicide, become full of rage. This was her defense mechanism. She felt this made her satisfied with what she grew up in.
Yes, hopefully she will have some more insight when she grows up a bit more, but don't attack her for her weight. Try to show some compassion and empathy for her.0 -
\I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:
lmao0 -
I have felt like the author at points in my life but mostly have always wanted to lose weight.
I think this time really will be the time I lose the weight forever. Why? My body has started rejecting my favourite (past) binge foods. Ice cream, chocolate, pizza (there was a tower as tall as me of pizza boxes at one point), anything with dairy. Pizza and chocolate were my ultimate comfort foods.
Now, I have focused on finding happiness in things other than food. If I happen to eat these foods, my body tells me it has had enough of my *kitten*.
It is possible that, eventually, her body will fight back against her habits.0 -
I agree with what others have said about bad experiences with doctors when you are overweight. I lost 50 pounds very quickly and then stalled. I was starving all the time and felt I had "broken my metabolism" because no matter what I ate I was gaining weight. I went to doctors who didn't take me seriously - one doctor I went to would only test me for sleep apnea, another doctor suggested I think before I eat as if I was emotionally eating. And it was neither. I did ruin my metabolism from YEARS of undereating and overexercising. I have been trying for a long time to relose the weight I had gained with no success. Now that I know what I did to my metabolism I am on the road to recovery (and then I got pregnant so now a having a healthy baby is my goal).
She is still young - hopefully she will realize what she is really doing to her body and fix it. Until then, I wouldn't say she is disgusting at all...she is living her life how she wants and the body shaming isn't going to help.0 -
This article is HORRIBLE
1-get over your childhood and take responsibility for your own actions
2-I choose to believe I DESERVE TO BE THE HOTTEST WOMEN IN THE ROOM which is why i deserve to loose weight
3-What an excuse maker...you would do great in sales0 -
you're an idiot for judging somebody.......
judging... really?
:facepalm:
I am with you OP.0 -
The point is that she is trying to justify something that she knows is bad for her. People do this EVERY day: They LIE to themselves. She says that she is fighting against what society wants her to look like and be, but all she is doing is LYING to herself and telling herself that her weight does not matter and that she is beautiful regardless. She may be beautiful regardless, who knows, but she certainly will not be healthy in the long run or live a long life, and she's certainly not emotionally happy. Still--up to her to change.0
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Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.
You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.
Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?
i posted why in these forums. health.
And that's why I've lost 144 lbs so far - so I could get healthy, which I've succeeded in doing. So in that way, I've reached my goal. I'll still be "obese" when I stop losing because it's my choice. But that's disgusting, is it?0 -
I'm sorry, but this isn't body-shaming. The title of the post isn't "How disgusting is this girl's body". The OP is simply making a commentary on the OP's mentality that her body is acceptable as it is which is a dangerous notion.
It is her choice, and honestly, she is not liable to change her mind until she experiences some real health concerns related to her obesity. Everybody has to find their rock-bottom on their own. This essay is only proof of that. She doesn't care what anyone says, she is happy right now, and that's all that matters to her. So therefore, she won't make changes until she is no longer happy, and that's all that there is to it.0 -
OP, you're training to be a PA? I feel sorry for your patients. Empathy is an important quality in a health care professional.
that's a terrible thing to say to someone
He may just be referencing the whole context as disgusting, and not just the person as a whole...0 -
I got quite sad reading this, it reminded me of another article I read about how obesity increasingly is becoming the new normal
I think the author is confusing two things:
1) the fact that as a person and a woman, she is more than just her weight and shouldn't be regarded as "just" another obese person, and
2) the fact that obesity in itself may be a choice, but it's a really unhealthy choice which will hurt her more than it will help her
Of course it is wrong for people to judge solely by appearance, and I think everyone, esp every woman will have felt at some point that they needed to confirm to society's idea of what they should look like. Even though this is not feasible for everyone, as we all come in different shapes or sizes. None of these sizes naturally need to be at 250 pounds though. That is just not healthy, and I say this as a woman with a larger frame, who has struggled all her life with actually having hips (ballet lessons as a teenager were hell in that respect).0 -
Not disgusting to me. She is where she is right now in dealing with the traumatic stress of her past. I sincerely hope for her that eventually she'll heal to the point where she can develop a more healthy physical outlook for her life, but right now she is healing herself mentally and she just isn't there.
People can call it an excuse, a mental block or whatever ... but I'm not going to sit here and insist that she need to stop medicating herself with calories and get on that treadmill. She just isn't in a mental health condition right now to do that.0 -
I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.
And even though I don't think that remaining obese is the best way to stick it up to the Man, I kinda get that.
I've never been really fat, just 10-20lbs overweight. That's all my family could see.
Last year I lost 20lbs in a little less than 3.5months, and that's all I could hear about. Nothing about the internship I got as a Law student or being a straight-A student or anything about my other accomplishments. It is and always was about weight and it's painful and maddening. It feels like one's persona doesn't really matter as long as they go along with everyone else's expectation.
But I must insist, remaining obese is certainly not the way to prove your point. But I kinda understand her.
Thank you for posting this because its exactly right. Unfortunately, she is still influenced by outside forces and the decision to stay fat is another of the same defense mechanism she's been fighting for years. She does need to love herself and overcome the past before the emotion behind her behavior will change. And its ok. Its beautiful what she put into words. It's her journey and she lifts her head up high because of it. And that's ok.
Also, guys and gals... she's not 23 anymore. She was remembering the time she WAS 23 and remembering that incident with her "treatment team". We don't know how old she is now. It irritates me when people don't really understand what they're reading and then spout off about her weight at 23 and how she'll regret it later - she's ALREADY at the later.
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Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.
You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.
Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?
i posted why in these forums. health.
And that's why I've lost 144 lbs so far - so I could get healthy, which I've succeeded in doing. So in that way, I've reached my goal. I'll still be "obese" when I stop losing because it's my choice. But that's disgusting, is it?
so you think my disgusting is about the obese part eh? interesting
Edit: grats on that weight lost! im happy you took your health in your hands and took care of it!0 -
I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.
And even though I don't think that remaining obese is the best way to stick it up to the Man, I kinda get that.
I've never been really fat, just 10-20lbs overweight. That's all my family could see.
Last year I lost 20lbs in a little less than 3.5months, and that's all I could hear about. Nothing about the internship I got as a Law student or being a straight-A student or anything about my other accomplishments. It is and always was about weight and it's painful and maddening. It feels like one's persona doesn't really matter as long as they go along with everyone else's expectation.
But I must insist, remaining obese is certainly not the way to prove your point. But I kinda understand her.
Yes. It's an eloquently written tantrum, essentially.0 -
What's disgusting is that this:
It distills my experiences into an inescapable truth — that I am not my accomplishments. I am a problem to be solved.
is not only how she was treated, from childhood on -- but that this is STILL what many posters are doing.
What's disgusting is how many people around her ignore her personhood and see only fat. And how many people around her -- and here -- ignore science and health and see only an image.
What's disgusting is that women's bodies are consistently treated as some kind of public utility that we're shamed for not "keeping up" if they don't meet unrealistic, impossible standards.0 -
There's a tremendous difference between saying "I'm fat and I'm okay with that" and feeding or purging or any variety of disturbing behaviors. This woman doesn't strike me as someone who's stuffing her face all day long and trying to get fatter; she's just comfortable where and how she is.
Thousands of people choose to be smokers and drinkers every day. I don't think they're disgusting, though their decisions affect the healthcare system and the people around them just as much (if not more so) than this woman's decision. And frankly, I don't think an article like that would get the same kind of response and judgment as this one has.
People choose to do unhealthy things *all the time* and live in unhealthy ways. Why is this so incredibly different?0 -
You're right, it's disgusting. Her experience that is.
As for the folks decrying her being a burden on you due to a socialized medical system, sounds to me like the system is the problem, not the woman.
As for the article, I'm not a fan of her style. She switches between multiple voices, never making it clear exactly which one she is using:
-Despair
-Sarcasm
-Social criticism
-Defiance
-Factual history
I ended with no clear idea of who she is.0 -
this article is the best thing i've read all day. thanks!
(and to answer your question: not disgusting at all.)
would you feel the same way if it was an anorexic person who was just skin and bones? they are both destroying their health, bodies, future...
sorry. false equivalency. anorexia is a psychological disease, not a body type.
You're not entirely correct either. The original article is clearly a case of Binge Eating Disorder, which is a diagnosable disorder. She gave herself an eating disorder because it was the only thing she had control over as a child. Instead of NOT eating, she OVER ate.0 -
You're right, it's disgusting. Her experience that is.
As for the folks decrying her being a burden on you due to a socialized medical system, sounds to me like the system is the problem, not the woman.
As for the article, I'm not a fan of her style. She switches between multiple voices, never making it clear exactly which one she is using:
-Despair
-Sarcasm
-Social criticism
-Defiance
-Factual history
I ended with no clear idea of who she is.
That's because she doesn't know who she is. But she firmly believes that she shouldn't lose weight to conform to the ideals of society. Which she shouldn't. She should lose weight because that's what she needs to do to maintain a healthy body.0 -
the girl is 23. it's very easy to feel strong and defiant against something in your late teens and early twenties.
i doubt she'll feel the same in twenty years. and one day she'll probably look back at all she's missed because she is overweight.
she *was* 23 when she started out the story....
this is her life, her choice. it's not for us to tell her what to do. i think she wrote this beautifully, regardless of whether or not i agree with her.
:drinker:0
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