How disgusting is this...

I see what she is saying. It hurts her that no one is looking her in the eyes and trying to understand who she is as a person. She is just viewed as overweight by society and a project by doctors. This fuels her defiance.

On the other hand, she is using her past to justify her present. Yes, I know it was awful, but you can't get any where in the future by continuously looking at your past.

Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.

You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.

Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?

i posted why in these forums. health.

And that's why I've lost 144 lbs so far - so I could get healthy, which I've succeeded in doing. So in that way, I've reached my goal. I'll still be "obese" when I stop losing because it's my choice. But that's disgusting, is it?

so you think my disgusting is about the obese part eh? interesting


Edit: grats on that weight lost! im happy you took your health in your hands and took care of it!

Please OP enlighten us with what you thought was Disgusting since I like many seem to have misunderstood your intent.

*She* is not disgusting...I see her point, and it's good to read that someone is finding peace with herself.

But to just...choose...to be overweight because you can? It's a little sad and seems like an excuse - just like doing drugs or being an alcoholic or surrendering to any addiction on GP.

She says all this stuff about not wanting to starve herself to conform, and that's something we've all struggled with. But those of us who have lost anything know that we don't have to starve.

She says it's great that people who lose weight feel good about themselves, but that their lives should not be summed up by one accomplishment. I agree...but I have worked harder to lose this weight than I have at any other goal in my life. I have other accomplishments, and in their context I am proud of those things. But every time I walk in my closet, and know that I have clothes that fit and look decent on me - I am reminded of what I have achieved in this area.

It's like she is demeaning the losers for conforming...like the work we have done was for the wrong reasons...just to excuse her love for cupcakes. I love cupcakes. I have eaten cupcakes since I started this journey. I will eat more. But I don't eat a cupcake every time I see one simply because it's there. That's the difference.

I don't believe we should all be a size 2. I don't believe everyone should be thin. But healthy? Yes. We should all be healthy...

^^^^^ This. And it just sounds as if she's given up. Which I find sad.

Well, that's a whole load of tl;dr, but what's disgusting about choosing to be fat? I'll still be clinically obese when I hit my goal weight. I prefer the way fat women (including myself) look in comparison to thin women. I have the right to choose to look any way I want to.

You hear people bang on and on about how "fat is a choice!" and use it as an excuse to shame fat people and treat them like second class citizens. Well so f*cking what if fat *is* a choice? That doesn't mean the writer of this piece, or me, or any other fat person doesn't deserve respect and acceptance.

Why did *you* choose to lose weight, OP? So it would be easier to get on that high horse?

What is disgusting to me is the REASON she is choosing to be fat. She is not disgusting...being happy with your body is not disgusting...it's the fact that she is CHOOSING this for no other reason than because she can. Because it seems like a decision she can control. Doesn't sound to me like she is happy with her body. But like she has decided that her body is going to be this way so she can "shield herself in the armor of fat".

Of course, doctors treat fat people differently. It's wrong, and they don't understand what overweight people go through on a daily basis. No, it's not as simple as just "eating less". No one deserves to be a second class citizen based on any aspect of their appearance. For me, this isn't about how she looks, but how she thinks.

Just announcing one day that you don't believe you're eating to cover up pain inside doesn't make that true.

If you prefer the way you look at a heavier weight, your story is clearly different from this girl's. You're making a choice based on how you want to look. Not based on flipping the bird to society in general.

Whatever her reasons...her life, her choice.

Now I want this for lunch, thanks a lot!

(oops, meant to copy the sandwich pic)

What's disgusting is that this:

It distills my experiences into an inescapable truth — that I am not my accomplishments. I am a problem to be solved.

is not only how she was treated, from childhood on -- but that this is STILL what many posters are doing.

What's disgusting is how many people around her ignore her personhood and see only fat. And how many people around her -- and here -- ignore science and health and see only an image.

What's disgusting is that women's bodies are consistently treated as some kind of public utility that we're shamed for not "keeping up" if they don't meet unrealistic, impossible standards.

I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:

Seriously. I want to go home and make one right now. How have I never thought of this?

It seems that most people here who don't agree with her are viewing her as the doctor or other people would. They don't look at her side of the story and understand the struggle that all that weight has helped her get through. Of course, she won't be healthy the way that we think healthy is; small, controlled weight, not gasping for breath... and we shouldn't define people by the way they look. I wish I can say the same for me, and I think that's something that I'm working on.

Having been fat (read: morbidly obese) almost all of my life, there comes a time when you can truly accept that your fat, you can embrace it and not let it bother you. I was at that place.

The ONLY reason I ever started to lose weight was because of a statement I made to my wife when I got tired of the fad diets and other fleeting fitness things she was doing while crying about her weight and how difficult it was to cook her "healthy" food and then something totally different for me. I told her to eat real food, get off her butt and do something real and to stop with the 10 minute this or 5 minutes that "exercises" and when she actually did that..I would join her and support her. I know, I know...dangerous ground saying something like that, but I was fine with my fat, she wasn't fine with hers...but there comes a time when you need to put up or shut up.

Last year she decided to put up and holding true to my word...here I am.

Having said all of that, I can say this, if someone chooses to be fat, that's entirely up to them. I was "healthy" fat, my blood pressure was always fine according to my doc, my blood work normally came back fine...except for that time when I was scarfing down Little Debbie Doubledecker Oatmeal Creme Pies and Chocolate milk 2-3 times a day along with 2+ Rt. 44 Cherry Cokes from Sonic per day...blood sugar got a little outta hand, but once that was toned back, I was fine again. At 41 yrs old, my blood work and physical came back fine.

I never let my weight stop me from doing anything or going anywhere so at the time it wasn't that big of a deal for me.

I'm here now because I'm a firm believer of finishing what you start. I started down this road as a way to encourage and support my wife, and now it's become a goal for me. Do I "feel" better now...honestly, not really. There's no big major change in energy or whatever...I can, however, run a little and I do have a whole lot more endurance that I ever had before, I can walk further and faster, but on the regular day to day...can't really tell a difference. I do look better, and I like where this is going, and I'm glad of this choice...but if I had never said that to my wife, I wouldn't be here.

Losing weight is a personal choice and we can talk about it and talk about it...heaven knows our "friends" and family will talk enough for all of us about how we'll "feel" if we lose weight and how much healthier and blah blah blah...bottom line though, if we don't like ourselves fat, we won't like ourselves thin or "healthy" or athletic or whatever. If we can't get past that mental block of appreciating who we are and not just what we look like, then the road will be much harder and longer and most of the time, will end in failure...which just adds to the self hate. If we like ourselves fat, and allow ourselves to accept us for who we are, when the time comes (if it ever does) that we are actually ready to take on the challenge of weight loss, we have a better chance of succeeding...but that's all personal choice and timing.

TL;DR: Fat people can be healthy and happy. You can't succeed at weight loss until you WANT to and are ready to.

Random gif time because this has been just too serious:

I'm surprised no one's commented on how absolutely delish the sandwich in the original article looks:

Seriously. I want to go home and make one right now. How have I never thought of this?

Because that looks like cheddar or colby instead of Swiss or Jarlsberg or smoked provolone?

If that's how they choose to live, then what right do we have to judge? We've all been her at some point, right? That's the reason we're here. There are those that want to fit into the norm and those that don't. We do it in different ways. If she wants to live large, then by all means let her. Treat others the way you would want to be treated by them. Do you want someone treating you like dirt for how you live or the way you look? Probably not. It's your right to have that 'omg, she's disgusting with all her rolls' thoughts, but keep them to yourself. Telling someone they need to lose weight when they're not ready only backfires into them getting heavier. They are the ones to set their rules and boundaries, not you.

Shame on you, OP. I'm sure if she were your patient, you'd make her feel just like her other doctors. Rx: "Stop being fat." When the actual issue is much deeper. She needs to love herself first. Man...that sounds kinda deep...and sensitive...and difficult. I don't expect you to get it.

another one.... read whole thread next time before "judging"

Enlighten me

I think that she really means is that her weight doesn't define her as a person but everyone chooses to see her as a person who needs to lose weight period.

And even though I don't think that remaining obese is the best way to stick it up to the Man, I kinda get that.
I've never been really fat, just 10-20lbs overweight. That's all my family could see.
Last year I lost 20lbs in a little less than 3.5months, and that's all I could hear about. Nothing about the internship I got as a Law student or being a straight-A student or anything about my other accomplishments. It is and always was about weight and it's painful and maddening. It feels like one's persona doesn't really matter as long as they go along with everyone else's expectation.

But I must insist, remaining obese is certainly not the way to prove your point. But I kinda understand her.

Yes. It's an eloquently written tantrum, essentially.

Stated perfectly.

When I was obese, all the negative feelings I experienced were self-generated. I hated what I had allowed to occur in my body, in my life, in my health. Nobody ever shamed me, nobody ever said vicious things to me, only once did a child make a comment carelessly that cut me to the bone. The reason it hurt so badly was I knew how much I hated the situation I had created, and I knew I would feel much better when I solved it.

Now that I have solved it, (mostly), I do feel so much better, and that's coming from me as well. It feels really good to know that I have earned the ability to wear a size "small" dress. It took a sustained effort, and a series of adjustments to my habits to get here. I earned it. And that's what feels so damn good. The smaller *kitten* is just a happy side effect of it.